Twin Flame or Soulmate?

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People sometimes get confused over the terms "twin flame" and "soulmate" - very often the two have been used interchangeably. However, there is a big difference between soul mates and your twin flame.

The first is that you can meet many different soul mates in your lifetime, but you only have one twin flame.

If we improve our soul quality, our soul mates will appear. These need not be lovers, they can be very close friends, you may even be lucky to have soul mates in members of your family. Your biological twin can be a soulmate, too.

Meeting a soulmate means we recognise that soul in the other person; there is an instant liking, and an agreement in things with shared viewpoints on life (but not necessarily shared interests). Soul mates help your spiritual growth, are devoid of jealousy, are very happy in each other's presence, and it's this harmonious affinity which connects them to each other so strongly.

This love energy between two soul mates can only be surpassed by the love between twin flames. Unlike a soul mate, your twin flame is not a soul of similar energy to yours, it is literally the other half to your soul.

Physical love relationships with soul mates are very important, too, as they can be learning experiences preparing us to meet our twin flame - our one and only, true forever love.

As I explained in my "Five Steps to Your Twin Flame" article, love will come to us in many guises, sometimes in the form of a soulmate. For this reason, it can cause us emotional confusion over whether or not the person we are with is actually our twin flame.

This confusion is further enhanced when we find out that sometimes we can actually lose our twin flame after finding them in this lifetime (although some twin flame purists would disagree, I give my reasons for why I believe this in my "Five Steps" post).

The big indicator to whether the guy or gal in our lives is our twin flame is, if we did lose them, would we suffer (what I've termed as) the "forever fever"? Soul mates can be rare, but we can find similar souls to replace the loss of a soulmate. However, the loss of a twin flame is irreplaceable, because they are your one and only twin flame.

Is there a girl or boy you've never been able to forget? That one person that is constantly in your stream of conciousness as you are in your own thoughts? And that no other person you've met now or since, or will ever likely meet, is like that special person? If so, then the probability is very high that person is your twin flame.

Twin flames separated can reunite, and twin flames reunited can separate. That is a fact of modern living. But they will never find another to take their place, because of their unique nature, and it's this major factor that differentiates a twin flame from a soulmate.

Twin flame purists also believe that another differing factor between twin flames and soul mates is that twin flames must be of the opposite sex, and that the love between them will be of a romantic and sexual one, rather than a romantic/platonic or brotherly/sisterly type affection.

I agree that the pull of a twin flame from the divine source of your soul will be so strong that it will want to join physically with you, to become one in a very real sense. However firstly, for me, love this great transcends physical sex. You can't tell me that, if a woman's twin flame happens to be a guy who has lost the capacity for sex after a devastating accident, she will immediately lose connection with him. A dramatic exception I agree, but the point needs to be made. My love for my twin flame is more than just sex - and don't misunderstand me, I love sex with my man as much as any woman does with hers!

Secondly, souls do not have gender. It's a very physical view to simply limit our spiritual essence to the machines of our bodies. Twin flame purists will say that same sex couples can be soul mates, but not twin flames. I would say, that although it might be spectacularly rare, don't discount it, because our souls are not just the sum of our bodies. Over 130 tribes in every region of North America performed millions of same-sex marriages for hundreds of years - they were known as "two-spirit" people. And to suggest that somehow some individuals "lose out" on having a twin flame because of their genetic sexual make-up, sounds too much like "spiritual" discrimination to me, and the soul does not discriminate.

What would be next if we follow the purists' line of argument? A Caucasian female's twin flame can only be a Caucasian male? After all, it's not the appearance of the bodies themselves that are twins, but the source of the soul, the flame from divinity. Otherwise it's like attaching physical attributes onto the soul, or suggesting that divinity is discriminatory in how souls are placed, and it makes me feel uncomfortable even thinking about it.

I do agree, however, that twin flames are placed by divinity outside of our blood and birth groups, because a major factor that defines a twin flame is the intensity of the love - which exceeds what we call fraternal - or brotherly/sisterly - love, that comes so easily from the affinity shared by like-minded souls, or from the family bonds forged by time and familiarity. (Plus, if on a balance of probabilities having two soul mates in a family is rare, finding twin flames in the same immediate gene pool is going to be highly improbable.)

A twin flame is not a like-minded soul; sometimes a twin flame can be your exact opposite not only in body, but in spirit (like a twin mirror image) - but the minute you see your twin flame you'll instantly recognize the other half of yourself behind each other's eyes.

The intuitive mind link may take time to form for some of us, due to the blocks caused by insecurities from past bad relationships (as unfortunately not all relationships are with soul mates that help us grow) but that immediate recognition - even if we can't name it or put our finger on it - will be there from the start.

So to end, I hope my article has gone some way to clear up the confusion over a subject that is very close to all our hearts.

Yours in love,

Fall in Love Beautifully

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I've come to believe that there are two main reasons why people fall in love.

ONE: They meet their ideal person. People have standards - expectations. They structure their "dream boy/girl" in their heads, and once they meet someone who fits the bill, they fall in love. Who doesn't like having their expectations met? They painstakingly wait for that person. And after that person finds their way into their life, they realise, "It's you. How perfect you are." This is how you fall in love normally. Unfortunately none of us are perfect, and we rarely meet another's expectations. And when that happens, what we thought was love, turns out not to be after all.

TWO: They get surprised. People have "walls" and like having control over themselves, meaning that they are most likely not looking for love - they let it come to them. But one day, they meet someone. (Not necessarily for the first time. It could be someone they've known for a while and simply didn't take notice of him/her.) Said person does something - anything: sing, smile, make them laugh, a short walk together, etc., - and it hits them. It makes them doubt themselves , question certain things they stand for, making their "walls" crumble. They then ask, "Why do I care about you now?" The person might be the exact opposite of who they are - has values conflicting with theirs, follows a different conduct, and lives by a different system altogether. The person captures their heart in such an unusual way, by shattering who they once were, then renewing them. They are taken by surprise by someone out of their expectations. An interesting way to fall: complex and unexplainable, yet still so simply.

This second way is how you fall in love beautifully. It is the route that all twin flames will inevitably take.

Yours in love,