Empower Yourself with Love

“They had no right to win. Yet they did, and in doing so they changed the course of a war... even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit – a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory.”
— Walter Lord

Walter Lord is one of my twin flame's favourite authors. He was a gifted author who wrote extensively about World War II and other historic events, such as the sinking of the Titanic. He had a long and productive career, passing away in 2002 at the age of eight-five.

The other day my twin flame read aloud a quote from Lord about the Battle of Midway, which took place between June 4-7, in 1942. The moment I heard these words, it became one of my favourite quotes. What immediately struck me about this quote was Lord's gift for sculpting words. A writer's duty is not to come up with new thoughts, but to craft ageless wisdom in ways that bring about epiphanies in the minds of his readers. Lord did just that.

What a poetic and accurate way to describe the uniqueness of our species:

Even against the greatest of odds, there is something in the human spirit - a magic blend of skill, faith, and valor – that lifts man from certain defeat to incredible victory.

In the last couple of years I've come to a strange conclusion. I believe that everyone would be better off if they stood in front of a crowd and admitted their biggest mistakes and embarrassments. Then with that out of the way, they could get on with being completely comfortable with themselves and confident around others.

After all, things couldn't get any worse (read: more embarrassing) than that, and they'd quickly realize that the worst never turns out as bad as they fear. It's one way to turn defeat into victory.

A recent correspondence from a regular reader about my post on becoming more productive during our individual magic time showed me an example of another.

He wrote:

I am an avid fan of your blog since coming across it a few months ago. Your articles have helped inspire me to change.

I have had far too many peaks and troughs in my life. Sometimes the troughs were very deep and excruciatingly painful, only because I never stuck with anything long enough.

I was always leaving for a trip here, another opportunity there, getting sidetracked, and sometimes opting to party and enjoy life instead of attending to what needed to be done. Now I am committed to changing my life, and helping others.

Thank you for your thorough explanation of this thing called love. I am encouraged. It has given my hope persistence."

What struck me about the email was the reader's willingness to bare his soul and be totally honest - not so much with me, but with himself. By doing so, I believe he has already taken the first step toward rising above his past mistakes and achieving the kind of success he clearly aspires - to reach the healthy desires of his heart.

Admitting your mistakes may sound like a small thing, but it's not. On the contrary, you cannot navigate toward success until you have gone through the catharsis of being honest with yourself about the real reasons for your failure. Not excuses for your failure, but reasons - and in doing so turning defeat into victory.

I was reminded of the quote by Lord my twin flame had read out to me as I reflected on the reader's comments. Is this not the story of virtually all great successes? The reader's tale of woe describes the predicament that much of the human race finds itself in today. Between the brutal realities of struggle combined with our own human flaws, it can be quite difficult to pick ourselves up and trudge forward.

However, as we focus on being more productive, we also need to make sure we do make time for fun, too (so we don't get burnout)! That's the essence really behind our magic time, to be get more work done at our best time, so it frees us up to do other things guilt-free. We need to balance the necessary components in our lives, because a truly balanced life is the successful one. And love is the great balancer, we need to empower ourselves with love.

And the fact is that just about anyone with reasonable intelligence can do it, because the human spirit really does possess skill, faith, and valour.

I have written about these three facets of our humanity before:

1. Skill. You are born with one or more unique skills, and it is your job to discover what those skills are.
2. Faith. Faith is belief, and belief is a choice. In Star Wars, when Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog, Luke Skywalker says, "I don't believe it." To which Yoda responds, "That is why you fail." As much as I'd like to, I can't improve on Yoda's explanation of why faith is so crucial to success. As my twin flame keeps reminding me: Who am I to question a Jedi Master?
3. Valour. Valour is courage. Because you have free will, you can choose to be courageous. In other words, valour is a state of mind.

The bottom line is that the magical blend of skill, faith, and valour is always available to us. Unfortunately, we do not always utilise these powerful tools. But when we do, we indeed have the capacity to lift ourselves from certain defeat to incredible victory. We see this happening and read about it virtually every day of our lives.

So if my reader's email seems to describe your own situation to one extent or another, take heart. You can begin moving in the right direction today simply by utilising three remarkable human traits - skill, faith, and valour - that are already available to you, and in doing so empower yourself with love.

Life is fleeting

We need to make sure we are productive in our time for work and play, because life is short and time is fleeting.

For those close friends who really know me, they know I love my family. I mean, they are everything to me. So when I sometimes have to travel to writing seminars, even though I enjoy it and know I have signed up to become a better writer, it is difficult to be away from my family.

Going to a seminar is amazing, but it comes at a cost. For me, when I go to a seminar it's a choice between saying yes to learning something new and saying no to spending time with my family. If you say yes to something in your life, you have to say no to something else. That is the cold hard truth.

Weekend trips are the worst because I miss them and don't want to miss an opportunity to be with them. Why is one weekend so important? It's just a couple days, right? No. It's two days out a life that is passing us by.

Those who have children will attest that once their kids were born, they blinked their eyes and found them in school and changing everyday.

Life goes at top gear. Don't miss it as it rushes you by. Don't get run over by the speed of life. A weekend might be just a few days, but when you look back it could be your lifetime. This is why it is so important to make good use of every moment.

Some of us may feel that because you said no to your family for the weekend, you've missed out on your child taking a new step, or tucking him or her in at night. You said no to helping your wife around the house. But you have to make a choice. And many times, it isn't an easy choice.

This is the reason why we should be productive with our time and get focused. If we are saying yes to watching funny videos on YouTube during our magic time of productivity, or hanging at the pub drinking, then your saying no to reaching your dreams, saying no to dominating your passion, saying no to being the person you need to be.

Everyday you wake up and you have a choice. What will you say yes to and what will that choice force you to say no to? You may be running at a furious pace in your workplace, with big projects on the go you're trying to finish up taking up most of your time. Maybe you're spending more time with your family - and loving every second.

But you may still feel run down. You can get tired of it all, if you don't feel you're making the right choices, or using your time productively. You feel you are in danger of burnout.

But here is the trick. The biggest secret of all. When I feel down, and I feel like this is enough or like I can't do this any more - that feeling only lasts a second.

It lingers in my mind for a brief moment and then it is gone. I force it out and drive ahead. I refuse to allow those feelings to stay in my mind and cloud my vision.

I will not let them prevent me from taking control in everything I want to do and keep me from reaching everything I ever wanted in life.

I offer this opportunity for you. Do not dwell on the bad. Do not keep negativity in your life. Do not crawl up in a ball and stop moving. Live your life. Make every second count. Be amazing. You can do it, I know you can.

Don't wait for the days to pass you by. People who do that will never accomplish anything great. And not realising your full potential is sad. It's a waste of the gift of life given to you.

Naturally, it's yours to waste, if that's what you want. But is it really? Wouldn't you rather have that feeling like you could do anything? If I just waited for the days to pass by, I would feel despair everyday. Like there is no hope. And with no hope, there is no love, and with no love, we are powerless.

Do not let this happen to you. Do not let debilitating doubt stay in your mind and affect your momentum.

If someone asks me how I'm feeling, I tell them amazing. I will not feed negativity in their lives. I will only give them the positive. Because this might be enough to turn their day around.

We all have doubts. Positive self-doubt can lead to clarity. So, yes, you will have doubts. I'd be very doubtful ig you had no doubt!

And yes, you will be scared. Yes, there will be obstacles. But knowing that everything will not be perfect means there won't be any surprises. When you are presented with an obstacle, step up. Reward yourself. Having big goals is great, but you must set smaller milestone goals too, goals that you can reach and reward yourself for by doing something cool. And then when you hit that big goal - get yourself that prize. Savour the moment and then set the next big goal to achieve.

Stay humble. Stay prepared. Stay grateful. Remember someone else is happy with less than you have. Learn to be one of the happy people.

Everyone has rough days

We all have our own unique Friday the 13th moments. I had one last Friday. But then I read my reader's email and realised I had to share it with you. Because turning defeat into victory over the rough days, will mean more me-time, more time to have fun and bring the balance back into our lives.

In reply to my reader, I sent him a letter my grandmother sent me when I was younger. She told me to always keep a copy on hand in case I ever needed a pick me up. And so I share that today with you.

I'll let you into another little secret. My grandmother's inspiration letter to me was the basis for my own positive affirmations I used in my meditations to prepare myself for my 90 day mind healing programme.

Click here to rewire your mindset for success!

Here is my grandmother's letter to me:

Let me tell you something about you. You can do anything you want. You are in control. You can achieve as much success as you want to. You can and will pick yourself up when life knocks you down. I believe in you.

And let me tell you, I've been knocked on more times than I can count. And it was those words from my twin flame that gave me the encouragement to get back up and keep trying. We all need someone in our corner. Your grandfather was in mine.

I'll be in yours to the best of my ability. You're inundated with so much negativity these days, that I am almost glad I was a child two generations ago. But back then, too, it is as true as it is today, we all need someone to encourage us.

When you're struggling, and I've been there, I can tell you first hand that it'll get better if you keep on trying. If you believe in yourself, that means I will always be with you in spirit, because I believe in you. Go for it. Whatever that "it" maybe, as long as it is something your healthy heart truly desires.

When I first read my grandmother's letter years ago, I was a mess. I was unhappy, even though my family life was idyllic. I was literally on the brink of dying young. I was always tired. Listless. Here's the point: If you're looking back on the past year and you're not happy with where you are now, it will never get better. Not if you keep doing the same stuff that's gotten you the results you're not happy with.

If this is you, then let me tell you straight: You gotta change what you're doing. It's not working. If it was, you'd know it. You'd feel it. It's time to change. To get empowered. Below I provide a few simple steps for you to get started on your life - the life you're supposed to be living.

The 7 steps to you

Here's how to do it:

1. Get absolutely focused on what you really want. Do this by turning off the computer and just writing down the answer to this question: "What do I really want?" Forget what the emails tell you should want. Forget what Mickie tells you to want. Forget what anyone else wants you to want.

   This is about YOU. What do you really want? Want to run off and play guitar in coffee shops across South America? Good. You only live once. Be happy. Play "Lovesong" at least once. For me. Be free as a bird if only for a short while. try out your wings, see where, and how high you can fly.

   But whatever you do, get clear. Otherwise you're ripe for falling into someone else's agenda, and you will feel powerless. If you're in a twin flame relationship, then you will be already be halfway to getting empowered, as you'll have strong support to believe in yourself.

2. Dump the daily dirt out of your brain. You do this by writing down a huge list of everything you think you must do to in order to do what you really want. Just doing that will kind of clear it from your brain and free up space in your mental computer's RAM.
3. Decide what's doable. You know that big list you just made that's probably scaring you? Go through it and put star by all the stuff you can actually do.
4. Decide what you can do NOW. Now. You know all the stuff with stars by it? The stuff you can actually DO? Go through all of it and find the stuff you can do in the next 30 days. Put two stars by those items.
5. Forget the other stuff. All the other stuff can be dealt with later. Now - let me address critics in the audience who want to debate whether or not that's a good strategy. "Isn't that procrastination?" "Isn't that other stuff important?" The answer to both questions is probably!

   But here's the deal. You can't do anything about it right now, and if you worry about it then you're just taking away focus and energy from the stuff you can do. And that's not going to get you anywhere. Also - by actually doing the "immediately doable" things for the next 30 days - I know from experience that your momentum will be so great you'll be able to easily do a lot of the things from your list you originally thought were impossible for you. You'll also have new clarity and will probably find that much of the other stuff on the list isn't even needed.

6. Get to work on them. If you get all caught up on the little details, you'll be in the same place a year from now. Don't let that happen.
7. Accept reality. You want to know something? This is not going to be easy. Yes, follow your passions. Yes, you can achieve what seems impossible at first. But it doesn't happen with the wave of a wand. Real magic is slow. It takes time. You just need to break through your comfort zone.

   If this is you then let me do you the same favour my grandmother did for me. By saying you can do it. I believe in you.

Yours in love,

Don't Sabotage Love

In this post for today I'm going to respond to a reader's email and her problem with hitting the brick wall of fatigue, and what I like to term as self-sabotage.

As you know, if you spend more than 5 minutes online looking for information to change your life, there is a lot of stuff out there. Much of it is theoretical, processes and ideas that sound good but at the end of the day, don't give you results.

I offer practical advice on how to bring love into our lives, because that is the key that unlocks most of the secrets hidden from us - or we hide from ourselves. For example, I've already had people write in about using my 90 day mind health programme to let me know they've already experienced positive results in their lives. And if I'm about one thing, it's results.

Now, what I want to share with you today delivers such tremendous results, quickly, that it falls into the "I can't believe this works this well" category after people use it.

It's a technique called loving yourself.

Sure enough, self-sabotage - or the flip side to a successful life - hinges a lot on being able to know the right time to put yourself first. This isn't about being selfish (real love never is) it is about being self-aware.

And when things start to go your way in business (or in love!), you'll soon have more work than you can handle. Instead of searching for opportunity, it will come at you fast and furious. Soon you'll need to focus on saying "no", otherwise you'll end up like the reader who emailed me. She went through a phase of too much success.

For goodness sake, I hear you ask, how can you have too much success?

Undoubtedly, too much of anything - even a good thing - can be bad for you, but I'll let you be the judge after reading her email. It's a real lesson on how to properly deal with abundance and avoid the dirty little game of self-sabotage that we all too often play.

Can you handle your success?

A week ago I things went all willy-nilly. Turns out, it was the early warning signs of illness, leaving me bedridden for days. Of course, this seriously impeded me in the productivity department. I'm up to my earrings with work on my customised cupcake business as well as enjoying opportunities from all corners of the planet. Things are outrageously good for me. But I need to be performing at the top of my game. Every hour matters. Getting sick is not a part of the plan.

I tried to self-diagnose via the web (a terrible thing to do by the way). Was it salmonella? A ten foot long tapeworm-demon? A life-threatening illness and my days were numbered? Of course my friends were trying to diagnose me too. The bets were on that I was pregnant. Nope, I didn't need to pee on a stick to know that diagnosis was bogus. But I still couldn't figure out what was wrong. Lucky for me, I have some pretty intuitive friends. One of them sent me a link to your blog.

My fiancé quietly reminded me that I had been going non-stop and that I severely needed a break. He was right (nothing new there). But isn't success meant to be good for you?"

Knock backs are a part of our lives. One of the biggest differences between those that live extraordinary lives and everyone else often comes down to one simple thing: Those that live extraordinary lives are willing to act without guaranteed outcomes. Taking action without 100% certainty that "X" will happen suggests you are both flexible and capable of taking risks.

In this context, some experts call what my reader in her email is describing as an upper limit problem. This is when you go through some major growth, where you bust through your upper limits and increasing your capacity for success.

Now the idea is this: each of us possesses an internal thermometer for how much success, wealth, love, happiness and intimacy we let ourselves experience. That is our upper limit setting; it's our success comfort zone.

Given that, when we exceed our internal thermostat by achieving a serious win, it blows the mercury through the roof and metaphorically pops our head off. Something negative sidetracks the goodness: we break an ankle, fry our computer, get involved in family drama, overeat, overspend and get sick. We apply the brakes to our success through the dirty little game of self-sabotage.

5 ways you're sabotaging your own life.

Why do we let this happen? Because it will bring us down to our normal range of capacity where we can cosy up with our security blanket.

And it doesn't stop there. We think that happiness comes when we are winning: a great relationship, a better job, a bigger pay cheque. The sad reality is that for all our huge milestones (and even the little ones), a stampede of negative emotions and actions can dismantle our progress.

Never felt like you don't deserve something? Have you ever believed that something is too good to be true and it can all vanish with one false move?

Know that this is pretty standard fare of an upper limit problem, which is just a negative reaction to positive change.

Excuse the spoiler alert: dealing with our upper limit problems can significantly expand our capacity for palpable and lasting personal success while maintaining loving relationships.

Really this is fantastic news! By calling out the vampires that suck the life from our wins, we can up our ante but not undermine the gains we make along the way.

And the reader that emailed me is experiencing unbelievable growth. She is excited about the success of her customised cupcakes and things were amazing. So, she didn't just bump into her upper limit; she smashed it with a sledgehammer. She felt unstoppable - almost - until she found herself ill in bed.

Nice kettle of fish you might say, but this is why we need to understand our upper limit problem:

• So we don't mistakenly label ourselves as flawed or broken or, worse yet, "not good enough" to handle a big jump in success or happiness.
• So we can harness life-changing breakthroughs that actually linger and provide real traction to build on.
• So our relationships with our partners (and others) don't suffer or dissolve.
• So we can check our ego and victim, "why does this always happen to me" diatribe at the door.

Don't forget that diatribe is for the powerless. Look, no one escapes this dialogue so don't feel weak, bad or alone if any of this strikes a pain point. Everyone on the planet experiences upper limit problems at some point. Thankfully for us they are easy to diffuse when you have the right tools and a willingness to overcome them.

It is also beneficial to remember that moving through your upper limit setting isn't a one time quick fix. If you're committed to continually expanding your levels of wealth, love and happiness then strap in for the ride baby.

How I rose above my upper limit problem:

• I acknowledged my tolerance for how good I was willing to have my life be. If I wanted to shoot for the moon, can I actually handle my own success?
• I also came to grips with how amazing my life was at that point. At the exact point where I was - not in the future when I wrapped my next big deal. That meant treating people and events in my sphere with all the love, respect and honour that I could muster.
• I told my family how much I loved them. I let myself be grateful for the money currently in my bank account. I thought about the roof over my head and the bounty of food on my menu and the amazing clients that I had worked with.
• I acknowledged my abundance in a real way and I verbalised this to the people around me.
• Then I gave myself a permission slip to chill out. I released myself from the guilt of non-productivity. No computer time, no work: just me and Haagen-Dazs and back-to-back episodes of Mad Men for three days. It was a step in the right direction of figuring out how to live inside my life with more ease.

Once you do this - the moment my reader stops beating herself up for being unproductive and sick - you'll go into speedy recovery mode and be as strong like bull in no time.

Personally, being cognisant of my success "comfort zone" has been a huge leg up for me when it comes to turning up my own success thermostat.

Eventually, I began to do it more often with less fear of getting burned. And that tastes sweet.

How to overcome fatigue

Ever self-sabotaged yourself so much that you've run yourself ragged?

Don't despair, because their are also some practical things you can do to combat fatigue.

In general, feeling tired or exhausted is a normal sign that it's time to rest and sleep. But if you are constantly fatigued or excessively tired over time, you're not healthy. The good news: With simple changes and natural remedies, you can defeat fatigue and live vibrantly.

Every so often, your lifestyle can attract too much stress, too much work, too much worry and not enough relaxation or sleep. This makes you fatigued. And when this fatigue is prolonged, or allowed to exist for weeks on end, it can become chronic. Chronic fatigue is one of the most debilitating health issues you can grapple with. It saps your energy and joy for life. Often, it can lead to depression.

Subsequently, the problem is that many people bring prolonged fatigue on themselves through their daily actions and choices. Fatigue-inducing actions include:

• Working too many hours.
• Experiencing too much physical or mental stress at work.
• Taking on too much without the ability to say no.
• Not reducing psychological stress.
• Not getting seven solid hours of sleep per night.
• Over-using external stimulants like caffeine, sugar or drugs to keep you energised.
• Eating a poor diet high in simple carbohydrates, sugars and fats.
• Not drinking ample amounts of water.
• Wearing down your nervous system with smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages.

Act now to banish fatigue

Horrible as it feels, suffering chronic fatigue is something most people can vanquish. If you examine the list above, you can see that all of these examples are based on personal actions and behaviours. Change these and you naturally change your energy levels. Here's what you can do:

• Set a standard sleep and wake schedule, and try not to deviate from it. Experts suggest that eight hours of sleep per night is ideal and the healthiest, which you can divide into two slots.
• Do not over consume beverages with caffeine or cut out sugar-laden drinks that dehydrate you while also causing spikes and drops in blood sugar. This leads to fatigue.
• If you experience fatigue in the middle of the day, take a nap (if possible), go for a walk or take a personal day to go home and recharge. One lost day may forestall suffering fatigue for weeks or longer.
• Try to get your work done within a set time frame. This may mean prioritising your magic time, managing your schedule more efficiently or reducing your workload. Learn to say no to extra tasks before you are overwhelmed. Again, this means balancing your health with your work.
• Learn and practice daily stress-management and stress-reduction techniques, like mindful meditation breathing. Aromatherapy also helps, as do hot showers and soothing baths at the end of the day.
• Avoid all external stimulants (sugar or caffeine energy drinks) that produce artificial energy. These provide only short energy boosts while dragging your body down. If you need energy, go for a brisk five-minute walk or do some jumping jacks or have sex with your partner. While it sounds counter-intuitive, it takes energy to make energy. The more you exercise or move your body, the more energy your body produces naturally.
• Eat only whole grains when deciding on breads and pastas; they take longer to break down and turn to sugar in your body. They do not cause the same spikes and dips in energy that simple carbohydrates do. Getting your carbohydrates from vegetable sources is even better.
• Try to not overstimulate your sense organs when you are feeling stressed. That means creating work and living environments that are not overly crammed with images, sounds, smells and clutter. Such things tax your nervous system and can sometimes lead you to feel fatigue.

On the road to good health

Realise that energy is the elixir of good health. Fatigue drains you of vibrancy.

Reach out to the things that will energise you. In this context, experts suggest 5 things that lead naturally to optimal energy:

1. Oxygen: Without oxygen you cannot live. Yet most people breathe shallowly, using only a portion of their lung capacity. They do not bring in enough fresh oxygen into the body, nor do they expel enough carbon dioxide. Breathing deeply a few times every hour, as long as the air is fresh, can help energise your body, aid in detoxification and invigorate your cells. (Remember, if you are anxious, take shallow breaths, as in that instance your body is getting too much oxygen.)
2. Food: Necessary for life, food is your fuel. Eating whole grains, fruits and vegetables while cutting back on sugars and processed foods goes a long way toward creating natural energy and stabilizing sugar crashes.
3. Water: Water is remarkably important for all functions in the body from the elimination of toxins to the moistening of the lungs and other organs to keeping the muscles loose. Drinking water to stay hydrated is a valuable resource for preventing fatigue.
4. Sleep: Sleep allows your body to shut down and begin to repair itself from the stresses of the day. You need this time to regenerate, clean and repair. Without ample sleep on a nightly basis, you will surely experience fatigue and, often, chronic pain.
5. Movement: As mentioned before, it takes the use of energy to create extra energy. The more you can walk, jump or exercise, the more energy your body naturally starts producing. Being sedentary leads only to more sedentary behaviours which, in turn, lead to low energy, tiredness and fatigue. Get up and move.

In addition to these lifestyle changes, there are additional things you can do to prevent and overcome fatigue: Get regular bodywork like massage or acupuncture. Take yoga. Go to the gym. Hike or bike on a regular basis. Add supplements to your diet like B complex, vitamins E and C, magnesium, zinc, selenium, iron, and ginseng.

Be sure, on the other hand, to forgo pills supposed to pep you up and combat jet lag.

Live a vibrant life

Essentially, you should live a vibrant life and get naturally tired.

Don't forget, being tired is a natural part of each day, signalling a time to rest. Since fatigue is largely self-induced because of our lifestyles, it is clear that making changes in your daily behaviours, actions and choices can naturally reverse fatigue and prevent its return.

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise, is a good saying, but generally, we can live a vibrant life full of energy by making the adjustments that can keep fatigue at bay.

Although it may take some effort at first, routines are easy to maintain after a brief period of introduction.

Try some of the suggestions made if you're feeling run down, it might just the shot in the arm you're looking for.

Here for you in love,