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Click here to attract your own twin flame NOW!If you trawl the internet via Google you will come up with some startling statistics about relationships. Some say that 30% of all couples consider themselves to be only "semi-happy" in their relationship, while other say that although when you first fall in love the feeling can be magical, for most people this "honeymoon phase" doesn't last forever. But the truth is that you absolutely can have a deep, passionate, soulful connection that lasts a lifetime.
All life is about relationships of one kind or another - to self, loved ones, work, money, environment, you name it, and we have to work at all of these to make them prosper. However, especially in this post websex era, many of us have been programmed to do relationships the way we play online poker. A quick five card stud game, where we do everything possible to get the upper hand. And if that fails, we bluff. We pretend to hold cards we don't have. We cheat. We lie. Until it comes time to lay all our cards on the table and really show our hand, when we end up with nothing - or less than we had before.
This is a horrible way to describe a relationship, but it doesn't have to be like that. Such an environment isn't something that just happens, however, it's something you have to create. And if you create a toxic environment, any relationship - even a twin flame one - will inevitably suffer. What is worse is, if we mistreat and lose our twin flame, the love doesn't die; twin flame love is eternal and the loss (or what I call the "forever fever") will last a lifetime.
For humans, the name of the game is in fact attachment, affection and companionship - we are actually soft-wired for sociability. But often true love is mistaken to be solely about the other person, when really true love is an effective tool for us to learn about ourselves, and understanding our own feelings.
We can't love others if we don't know how to love ourselves first. Most psychologists agree that your emotional intelligence (a measure of how well you understand the underlying emotions in yourself and others) is one of the biggest factors in determining your quality of relationships, while mainstream science is only beginning to understand the impact a person's DNA has on their relationships. A 2011 study by American scientists, for instance, found that certain genes in fruit flies - and by extension humans, too - were only activated when they began interacting with sex partners.
Read 6 essential steps to increase emotional intelligence.
Consequently, once you understand the primordial changes at work when we're in love, and learn to read each other's expressions, you'll gain a deep, holistic understanding of your loved one's most personal traits, so you can minimise conflict and maximise empathy. This is what love is about after all. Moreover, understanding each other's most heartfelt desires could help you shine light on any blind spots in your relationship, so you can connect on an infinitely more meaningful and intimate level with each other and create a great awareness around the relationship.
Whether you've been married for decades, are in a new relationship, or are still looking for "the one", you deserve to have an amazing experience in love - because every relationship you experience is filled with learning lessons for us to grow as people - and if we haven't found our twin flame - to prepare us for our one and only. This isn't about winning a Mr & Mrs game show, but building a healthy environment around a relationship is very important, because it can remain a positive experience even if you do break up, leaving you open to allow love in your life again. This is what law of attraction believers call creating your own reality, and if you believe in that, then the secrets to manifesting a lasting, soulful love is simple.
The one simple way is to communicate effectively with each other. This means to communicate (via words and actions) openly and honestly to create a strong foundation of trust and support that is essential in twin flame love. But creating a healthy environment for any relationship bolsters its chances for success. Lack of effective communication is a leading cause of divorce and the breakdown of relationships between parents and children, as well as between employees and their employers. There is no doubt that communication in all types of relationships can make or break them, but changing how we relate to one another is easier said than done. This is because of inherited or past communication patterns that can quickly lead to hurt feelings or emotional disconnection.
Read the 4 steps to successful communication.
Most behaviours in relationships have been developed over time and are the result of several types of conditioning. The family we were raised in, the environment we grew up in and the experience we have of important relationships in our lives all craft how we learn to "do" relationships, and how we behave in them. What's more, most people don't have the knowledge, skills or the time to invest in changing how they behave. Many relationship counsellors devise elaborate (and expensive) training processes to encourage their clients to first define their personal goals and aspirations. They're then asked to share these with their partners, so they can support each other in achieving them.
Some even see the twin flame mythos as a special system that can help people all around the world understand, connect with and love one another. If each person has a genetic energy and a specific energetic frequency that defines communication styles, sexual compatibility, chemistry and intellectual compatibility with another person - then matching up our frequencies is just another way of looking for our twin flame. A few individuals will seek to use astrology, numerology, or just plain old relationship advice on how to meet a special someone to try and harness these energies and tap into their own frequency so they can match it up with another.
Others believe that there is no formula to love, and it defies analysis. We just need to go with the flow, and it happens when it happens - but once it does happen, then the rest is up to us. Life may not be a romantic comedy, but who says you can't make it like one? Who says you can't have that "dream" movie relationship with your twin flame? You just have script it yourself; so script yourself the kind where endless smiles, laughter and sizzling passion colour your days, and empathy, joy and deep connection flow like a waterfall. Who says you can't show that special someone how you feel, open their eyes to the real you, and begin a romantic future together before the end credits roll?
Read 5 things about relationships.
However, we are warned by some experts that every relationship you think you have is not the relationship you really have, and not to fall into the "trap" of high expectations. Because when we live our expectations rather than our relationship, we make mistakes and lose that intimacy we initially nurture, when we first meet someone and go out with them.
Sooner or later we'll all know what that is like. You're the very thing you can be in a perfect world; you're in sync, sex is actually good instead of just saying it is, so you get real close. You talk about your childhood, your parents, your dreams, and your relationships that didn't work out. You get so intimate you tell him or her your innermost fears, or bravely show them the darkest corners of your heart. You tell them your problems and you listen intently to theirs; but now you get loose, or rude or a little insensitive, and you start to play on the expectations you have built up around the relationship.
When this happens, you discover one day you're not in sync any more, and you don't know who each other is any more, and you are not the two people that initially met and fell in love. You suddenly find yourselves spending all your time apologising for the person you were in the first weeks of your relationship, which ends when one or both walk out screaming in broad daylight, or creep away in the middle of the night. This is a scenario that no one wants, so we must script a better relationship for ourselves, one that we truly deserve.
And if you haven't met the right person, who says you can't work on growing yourself, to harness your strengths and grasp what really makes you tick deep down inside and attract your twin flame when you least expect it, like at a coffee shop, on a holiday, even at a bus stop? The most important things to know in life take a lifetime to learn.
Our first lessons in love come early - but we grasp only the surface. As we gain life experience we gain deeper understanding. All great truths are both simple and complex, easy to understand yet difficult to master - and so it is with love. But once your love, like your life, is placed in your hands, then it is what you make of it. Make the best of it, and it will make the best of you.
Yours in love,
