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I was inundated with emails after my "The Direction of Love" post, with many readers all asking the same thing: Mickie you keep telling us how our mindset is so important; but what practical things can we do to change it for the better?So, in response to the large number of queries I've decided to prepare this comprehensive post for you about the things we can do to change our mindset for the better.
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The power of the mind
Do not underestimate the power of the mind. This is why sometimes superstitions seem to work for no apparent reason - the power of our mind makes it real. Or why some spiritualists, mystics or fortune tellers have a gift for what seems like the supernatural - because their minds are finely attuned to pick up on vibes and cues that those with closed minds so easily miss (or dismiss).
In an example I gave to illustrate the benefits of online technologies to human advancement in my "The Direction of Love" article, I mentioned the news about a boy who found his mother after 25 years. The BBC report writes,
Although [the mother] had long feared [her son] was dead, a fortune teller had told [her] that one day she would see her son again. [Her son said] "I think the fortune teller gave her a bit of energy to live on and to wait for that day to come."
Our mind is a powerful tool, that wields great influence on all our actions. And we must realise that the "you" factor in our lives is very important. The problem with believing 100% in superstitions, mystics and the like is that the thought implies we are useless and not really important in the equation of life. It suggests that we are bound by supernatural influences that can shape us to their will, or that alternatively we can employ to bend others to our will.
Even deeper, it implies that you are a victim of the circumstances around you. The scary part about being a victim of circumstances is that once a victim, you're always a victim, because the circumstances will always be there.
The liberating truth is, however, that you - and you alone - are the creator of your life story, and the amount of success, luck and love you receive will be as much as you write into it.
Circumstances and unexpected problems in life happen to all of us. That's divinity. But, obstacles don't have the power to stop us from having success if we choose to have success in our life. You have the right, and power, as a human being to control your response to circumstances. That's free will.
You are not a pawn of divinity. You have the power through your thoughts and actions to make some changes to the circumstances that crop up - and you are not a victim of those circumstances unless you see yourself as one.
If you are not a victim of circumstances, then clearly you are the master of your fate. Because of this, life can be anything you wish it to be. Anything. If you are ignorant to the laws of success and happiness, and you know it, then, happy day! You can learn and grow and become, because you are receptive to the wisdom and insights of others. That's what drew you to my blog in the first place.
Belief in this, means having belief in yourself. This is the first step.
The need to believe
The most important element of your success is you, but believing in yourself doesn't suggest that you are already perfect, know it all, and don't need to change anything to enjoy success. Just add a magic potion or a lucky charm and - PRESTO! - you're life has changed for the better. Unfortunately, in the real world nothing falls into our laps without putting some effort into it, not money, or love, or happiness - and definitely not all three.
Belief in yourself means always having an element of self-doubt. This might seem contradictory, but self doubt, when positive, is a balancing influence which nudges us to re-evaluate our decisions.
Self-doubt that doesn't lead to decision or action is ultimately self-defeating, and creates a numbing negativity - whereas self-doubt that leads to resolution of the doubts can be a remarkable source of energy and creativity. Galileo called self-doubt "the father of all invention" for a reason.
If you have a depressive mindset, then self-doubt can be debilitating, because you can do nothing by thought alone. You need action. But you can also do nothing by action alone, you need the power of the mind to visualise the goals your actions need to accomplish.
What must be mastered is how to balance and combine the two in healthy ways, to get your thoughts and actions to work in unison and attract all the abundance into your life you could ever wish for.
The power of action
You are the most important factor in your life, and really, you have everything you need to create any lifestyle you'd like. You are the most important factor, because humans are beings that act and are not acted upon.
Think about this for a minute.
You are designed to act, and not be acted upon. Take the tree as an analogy. It comes from a seed that falls from another tree. It has no control over where it is planted. Wind, water, chance, man, and other factors all determine where it falls. Once it begins to grow, it can do little else than grow. It cannot move. It cannot protect itself. It cannot think, feel, reason, or associate. It just is.
Or what about a dog or a cat? They can get about and make some kinds of decisions, but in the end, the lives of most animals are defined by environment, their owners, and their instincts. They are acted upon and have little say in the matter.
You, as a human being, are different. You define environment. You define circumstances. You invent. You create. You react and respond.
In this sense, you are a creature with the power to overcome obstacles that come your way. And facing these challenges will help you develop, and grow stronger - with the correct mindset tuned to a positive bandwidth.
However, because you are a creature of power, you live with a formidable truth: Nothing will happen in your journey toward success until you make it happen.
You need to act.
And, everything can and will happen when you make it happen. Let me repeat that, you need to act. Action is important, it is not solely important, it is just as important as your mindset. Your body and your mind must become a harmonious whole for the positive visualisations, affirmations, goals and dreams you wish into your life to come true. Your wishes won't come true sitting on your butt and concocting spells!
It is time for you to act and stop being acted upon. Discontinue thinking you are a victim. Set aside thoughts of not having enough time, money, energy, support, systems, insights, secrets, friends, or ideal circumstances.
Pick up the challenge to be a creator. Be indispensable. Assume the role of CEO of your life. Determine to act today and build a personal empire of your choosing. You will not know it all. You will not have all the answers. You will not be a genius and make all the right decisions. You will not know all the secrets. You will doubt yourself.
But, that does not matter. You are a being of power - a creator that is proactive in solving problems. If you don't have it, find it. If you don't know it, learn it. If you can't do it, find someone that can.
Take action! Do something! You, and you alone, are the single most important secret weapon in your success because you can act. But the action becomes powerful when joined with a positive mindset - and this will come easier to those who are already working on their harmonious oneness with their twin flame. Alternatively, if you learn how to become one with yourself, you're much more likely to attract, and then become one with the love of your life.
And you'll also have the confidence and ability to adapt to the challenges that will try and hinder your climb to the top. But you'll be well equipped to figure out the best detours.
The need to adapt
On May 23, 1953, Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa guide Tenzing Norgay, became the first men to successfully reach the summit of Mt. Everest and live to tell about it.
It was not his first attempt to conquer the world's highest peak. This was the ninth British expedition. Many died in those previous attempts. They were bitter failures for Hillary.
There is a legendary story of Hillary attending a dinner after one of his failed ascension attempts. The dining hall they were in was situated at the base of the mountain and had a large window that looked up toward Everest.
With a clenched fist raised to his immovable enemy, Hillary declared, "You beat us once. You beat us twice - and more. But you will not beat us forever, because we can grow and you can't."
So it is in your life.
Yes, there are problems in life. Yes, circumstances will thwart your progress in love and finance. People can grow apart, or like technologies, change and evolve. You will find yourself in a labyrinth of confusing options and ways to turn.
But, none of this matters. It doesn't matter because you can grow and change and adapt. You can act - on ideas that will come from a positive mindset.
Any help and secrets I provide in my posts here are not the answer. They are tools. You - and you alone - are the answer to your success because you are the one that will take action. There is no "done for you" success system in business or life. It's an inside job.
The power of the subconscious
Okay, so we know that we need to act. However, the disparity we see in individuals attracting success - how some work so hard but never achieve their dreams or healthy relationships, and some achieve everything they want without any struggle - depends on your brain programming.
This is not genetic or permanent, but the programming happens when we're children, and become very ingrained in our adult lives. I first spoke about this way back in February, in my "Speak to Your Child of Love" post.
It's hard to change your subconscious state to retune your internal programming - so if you've tried all sorts of things (secret affirmations, potions, spells, hanging upside on a Friday and avoiding all black cats) and they haven't worked, this is why.
If your subconscious mind doesn't want you to succeed, you won't - and there is a reason it is set up this way.
When you're a child your mind is wide open; it acts like a sponge taking in everything around you, so you can learn how to act and to survive in life. This is a necessary development. It teaches you risk, dangers, and who to trust (like parents who seem to know what they're doing).
Children are able to learn things so quickly because they are in a theta wave dominant state (that's why people who have an easy time with languages learned them at an early age). At the age of 5 or 6 your brainwave changes to a beta wave state which is more concious and alert. Beta states are the states associated with normal waking consciousness.
Unfortunately, around the time you turn 6 or 7 years old, the window for new information and beliefs that you absorb at a subconscious level begins to close and the only information that gets access through the doorway is what reconfirms what you believed as a young child. Experts believe that if you were taught via a belief system filled with negativity about the world and yourself, then you are literally locked into that defeating mindset of a prison for the rest of your adult life.
And it's more that limiting, it's life threatening. Science has shown that your thoughts can affect even affect your DNA - studies show that keeping positive is good for your heart and those that don't worry don't tend to get as sick or recover quicker, but those that worry get sick a lot, and succumb to disease.
This cage of the subconscious is what keeps the vicious cycle going and makes it hard for even motivated hard working people to make a change. They're a hamster on a wheel. Without the correct mindset, your actions, or your ability to easily adapt to circumstance will be severely limited.
This doesn't mean we lose the ability to learn as adults. When you read, study, or work, it induces a focused super learning format called an alpha state. Our brain goes into an alpha brain wave pattern, a state of relaxed yet focused attention associated with this "super learning".
Alpha waves can begin to emerge from as young as 3 years of age, and it's a state where you are able to take in, store, and remember information at a much higher level than normal. An alpha wave state is when you are alert and good for taking in new ideas, but it's no where near as good as the theta wave state of a tiny child.
Inducing a theta brain wave pattern in adulthood will not only help you retune your brain's mindset, but it gives you heightened creativity and can be used as an aid to problem solving, too. It is the state Thomas Edison used to enter during his famous catnaps where he solved problems relating to his inventions.
Whilst remaining receptive to ideas that may come to you, you'll be amazed at how creative your mind will become in a theta state. So, when I spoke about thinking like a child in my "Love-Zap Your Stress" post, it is really more than just having a carefree attitude.
The need to meditate
With meditation, however, we can access that theta state. So meditating, or going back to source as they say, works very well to get your brain in a stare conducive enough to allow affirmative messages to start changing your mindset from a negative to a positive one.
We break down that invisible barrier to our dreams once we reprogramme the subconscious mind, because 90% of our actions are based on our subconscious mind. It actually runs the show 90% of the time. A prime example is driving a car. Do you sometimes find you don't remember getting to the traffic lights? Well, through repetition, driving becomes a part of your subconscious behaviour, so you do it without thinking.
This is what meditation does, it gives you the power to change your mind. Practice some mindfulness breathing. As you breathe in and out slowly through your nose, mindfully examine the various sensations in your arms, hips, legs and feet. Feel the balance shifting and the blood moving. When you have practised enough, effective meditation can be done for 2-3 minutes at a time, but you need to meditate everyday even if you only do a few minutes. You have to be consistent with it, like healthy eating or exercise. Do it regularly, and you'll get into these states naturally at will - it's like riding a bike.
Read about the power of meditation.
Once you have mastered getting into a meditative state quickly with daily practice, a little trick I use to sneak new information past that pesky conscious mind filter to install new positive beliefs is to record positive affirmations and inspirational messages and listen to them in meditation.
Don't do this until you have mastered getting into a theta state first - where you really shouldn't be thinking about anything. So allow an initial period of silence or soothing music in your voice recording before your affirmations begin to play, to allow you to get into the requisite state. As you get quicker at finding your theta state, you can reduce the time lapse on your recording. You will know what works best for you, so tailor it to your individual needs as you progress.
Once in this state, your subconscious mind has to listen to your affirmations. You can even listen to them as you fall asleep, because even if your concious mind doesn't understand the messages your subconscious will. You will find the more you do this, the quicker you can put your brain into a theta state in a very short amount of time.
Bounce back with affirmations.
However, a word of warning, your first attempts at this will not be easy. Altered states of the brain can give the brain too much input and bring too much unresolved mental and emotional material to the surface. So, you might not feel great the first few weeks as the new affirmations battle to replace the old, but give it about six weeks. Don't overdo it, either. Just as too much exercise can be harmful to the body, too much stimulus to the brain can create overwhelm. Once a day for six weeks is sufficient, and then as you start to feel better, listen to your affirmations only when you need to.
Eventually you'll feel better, because you have greater access to endorphins and you are building new neural pathways in your brain that allow you to be happier and more productive. In this way, the benefits are multiple - healthy chemicals are produced in our mind, neural-chemical imbalances become balanced, shifting our perception and programming to rewire us for success in whatever we what to achieve.
Read about the power of thoughts.
The process is a whole lot deeper and more powerful than hypnosis. If you tried planting corn in the driest desert, no matter now good the seed was nothing would happen. however if you planted the corn in moist, fertile land with lots of vitamins and minerals in the ground you would have some of the best crops imaginable. Getting your mindset into this state, makes your brain fertile so anything you use, such as affirmations will be ten times more effective, and what you visualise for your life will quickly become reality. It multiples the manifestation process.
The power of visualisation
So to recap, with your life-changing attitude set firmly in your mind, what you must do is visualise your goals in you mind, and then act on them, remembering to be adaptable enough to hurdle over any difficulties easy, light, smooth and fast (like an expert runner's keen sense that quickly masters the terrain).
But first, you need to define what your goals are in your mind. Don't be wishy-washy about this! Be very clear on what you want - and don't want - to achieve. Remember that success will mean different things to different people.
This will help you find your twin flame, eradicate your limiting beliefs, or any other goal you have. Because the truth is that it's really the unconscious processes in your brain which decide how successful you'll be with any goal you have at the moment - whether it's losing weight or finding a romantic partner.
Below I'm going to share with you a 90 day schedule I prepared to heal myself and define my visualisations for my life. Use it as you see fit, and adapt it to your own needs.
It consists of 1) a start up, 2) a daily tune up and 3) a master support system.
- Start up: First create your vision. You only need to do this once. Write down everything you want your life to look like. This will be your affirmation sheet. Be as detailed as possible. Also write down what you don't want. So for example, if you're single and looking for your twin flame love, you need to crystallise your vision on what attributes you want him or her to have, and not to have. Use your past experience from your previous relationships, and listen out to your heart on this subject, because it will already know what attributes your predestined twin flame needs to have in this lifetime to guide him or her to you.
Then ask yourself what type of person achieves these goals (attracts such a person). Visualise yourself as that type of person. You will use your visualisations in your daily tune up.
- Daily tune up: In the morning, lightly mediate for 5 minutes to get you in a conducive state (or to your "happy place") and then take your affirmation sheet and read them out aloud. Look at yourself in the mirror as you do this. Make eye contact. Put your hand on your heart. Feel the words. Repeat them in your mind as you say them out loud.
Then breathe deeply for 10 minutes and meditate more deeply to put you into a theta state. Begin to visualise as you meditate. Get a clear picture of your goal. Continue to visualise it for 30 minutes.
If you don't want to do this in the morning, you can do it right before you go to sleep. Just do the same thing you would do in the morning. Do this every single day for 90 days and you will see amazing results.
Contact me and tell me how it works for you, or if you are having difficulties and need advice, because you will need support during this time to make the process easier.
- Support system: I am immensely blessed in that I have a very supportive mother and family, who actually became my "Team Mickie" during my 90 days. But you might find that your present friends and family resist your change, so you need to find people on your same wave length to cement in your progress. A friend support group is so important, because like-minded people will help attract others - it's no coincidence that mixing with other twin flames will attract your own.
One thing I get asked a lot by the readers I support is: How can I stay positive when everything in my life is bad? I respond that there is no good or bad situation, except the meaning we give it.As an example, take a look at the picture of an optical illusion on the left. Click on it, if you need to jump to the enlarged image. Is the guy in the picture drowning, or is he safe? It depends on how you see the image, and the way it is rotated. Many will first presume this guy is drowning and screaming for help, but when the image is rotated, you will see that he is actually safe.
Optical illusions work because the function of the visual system is not to transmit an image to the brain. There's nobody up there to look at an image. It's to transmit information about the world up to the brain. For example, our brain translates visual information like converging lines to help us assess distance and relative size. But sometimes things get lost in translation and perception. What seems perfect to the eye, might not be perfect in scale, and vice versa.
However, the more we retune ourselves to a calibration not dependant on outer visuals, the more we'll find ourselves automatically going to the more positive situation. We can judge what is going on with more clarity because we are in a more natural state - in a happier place.
Getting more out of your visualisations
When you want something like a lasting relationship, the yearning can consume your thoughts and feelings and convince you that happiness lies outside of you sometime in the future. Not all singles feel the sadness of being alone, but most experience a range of emotions from fear to frustration. If you are unhappy with your current social status, it may be difficult for you to generate a good feeling and imagine being blissfully in love in your visualisation exercises.
In order to make your visualisations more effective, you need to generate the positive feeling of your desire to make a shift in the subconscious mind. When you are feeling the opposite emotion most of the time, this can be a challenging task. To assist you, I recommend going back in your subconscious memory banks and bring up a good feeling from the past to use in your 90 day exercise.
Your subconscious has recorded all of your life experiences along with the feeling associated with that event. As you imagine yourself back in that time or place, your deeper mind will trigger those good feelings automatically. This is because the inner mind doesn't know that time has passed and you can easily fool it to believe that it has happening in the present moment.
If you've had a hard life and cannot think of any happy time to use, you can make one up. Your memories are part fact, part fantasy anyway. Imagine a scenario that makes you feel good, even being in the arms of your future love. Your subconscious doesn't have a concept of time so it thinks it is happening in the present and will bring up those feelings automatically. It works the same as using real memories and sometimes can be even more powerful.
Your subconscious has the capacity to feel good. Your database of emotions was created before you were 5 years old. Even if you don't have a conscious memory of feeling good, there is a part of you that does remember. The inner mind is so powerful, you sometimes have to step aside and allow it to do the work for you naturally. Imagination is a great tool to get your logical mind out of the way, suspending disbelief so that you can feel good.
The emotions you feel are not created from external events but your interpretation of them. All of your feelings can be accessed by focusing your thoughts and mental images that relate to that emotion. This is why hypnosis visualisation is thought to be more powerful than its counterparts. What you imagine becomes real inside of you and you can access your happy place without leaving your bedside or your meditative position.
The idea that you can create your own feelings despite external situations is very empowering. You become free from attachment of something happening out there to make you feel good. When you get into the habit of going to your happy place every day, your external circumstances will shift to match that feeling, bringing your true love to you much faster if that is what you desire. As you become of master of your mind, you can learn to create from the inside out and you can be happy right now. You will also realise that all this has in fact been preparation to get you ready to meet your goals.
But are you saying to yourself as you read this: I'm too stressed. I just can't relax. Well, practising the tips I provide below to get you to your happy place will help ease your troubles, bring relaxation, and make you feel like you're ready to take on another day. You don't need a map to get there, you just need some relaxing thoughts.
- Think of what you consider to be a happy place. Think of where your happy place is. Where do you feel comfortable? What makes you happy? What do you enjoy doing with your time? Your happy place can be with a relative who has passed away, or you can be in a snow covered field surrounded by birds and trees.
- Get comfortable. Relax your body by sitting on your floor, or wherever you're most comfortable, and start breathing slowly.
If you can't get away during the day to find your happy place, you can do this while lying in bed, the tub, or while taking a shower. Trying to find your happy place while doing dishes or cleaning the house may not relax you enough to find your happy place. Your mind will be concentrating on your daily chores, rather than happy thoughts.
It goes without saying that you should not get too carried away with being in your happy place, i.e., do not fall asleep in the bath. Be aware of your surroundings, just don't be in them as a participant.
- Get ready. Inhale, wait a few seconds, then exhale. Repeat until your body feels at peace. Now turn your relaxation into thinking about your happy place. Now that you're relaxed, close your eyes, and think of your surroundings. Where are you? Who is there with you, or are you alone?
If it helps you, use photographs of your loved ones. Set them by you, to remind you of every little detail, their face, eyes, hair, even personality. If your happy place is on a beach, hold a sea shell in your hands while keeping your eyes closed. Picture yourself bending over to pick that shell up off the sand.
Any little prop or memento will help you find, and be in your happy place, as long as you're relaxed and focused on where your happy place is, and that you are in that place with people and things that you love, and thoughts that make you happy. Often times it helps to imagine your loved one and go for a stroll in the park.
- Be in your happy place. Remain still breathing slowly, think about the conversations that are going on around you. Listen to the way that your grandmother is laughing, or take in the aroma of your grandfathers stew. Think about things that you love, and the things that you miss.
- Keep focused. Concentrate and act as if those people are really there with you. If someone hears you talking to yourself, don't pay any attention to it, keep your thoughts on where your happy place is.
Make love your happy place
Being happy is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee that you'll be successful. Because before you can even start to visualise what you want in life, you need to start from a positive vibration. And being happy automatically puts you in that positive vibration.
So many people find it difficult to visualise what they want, because they are starting from a position of stress, worry, pessimism or even (depressive) doubt. And when your experiencing these emotions, it's nearly impossible to see yourself out of your current situation. Such a negative state can completely envelope you, dragging you deeper into its company.
Let's say you're not in a negative state, but in a neutral one - you're neither sad nor happy. Even from here you'll only set yourself goals you think you can easily achieve, not passionate, audacious goals that you can't ignore.
Now when I talk about positive vibrations, I don't mean you need to be over-the-top ecstatic with happiness. No one can really maintain that, and it would be just a little too much (if not for you, then for people around you). There's a multitude of positive states you can be in to elicit a positive vibration. For example, peace, gratitude, contentment, appreciation, optimism, hopefulness - all of these elicit a positive vibration.
The best one is achieved by putting yourself on the direction of love. This is my most important tip, that even if you're single, turn towards love, and it will find you. This is what I've come to realise, that a happy, positive vibration attracts the ideas, people, resources and opportunities that you will need to achieve your goals.
It sets the energy and vibration for you day. It motivates into action, and creates alignment - not only with all those things you want to attract - but with yourself, to help maintain and sustain the powerful combination of your thoughts and deeds in a harmonious whole. Once you know this harmony within yourself, you'll attract this harmony into your love life.
It also speeds up the time frame in overcoming challenges (think light, easy, smooth and fast) and getting what you want out of life. Pretty soon you'll find yourself saying, "You know what, everything always seems to work out for me!" You'll become a magnet that repels the negative and attracts the positive.
That's what happens when you get a positive vibration, and it also maintains the positive emotions around your goals and eliminates the negative emotions that may be holding you back.
You can do almost anything to get into the direction of love for a positive vibration - sing in the car on the way to work, jump in puddles when it rains, volunteer to do some good work or random acts of kindness - out of the blue call up your mum and tell her you love her, donate to your favourite charity. Do anything, but make sure you raise your positive vibration every day.
Now, do I need to motivate you any more to get you into your happy place and start healing your mind with love?
Yours in love,
