Recover with Love Power

Many people search for meaning or purpose or passion and want to follow that in their lives. They want to know how to live a soul directed, purpose driven life, and to remove fear, anxiety and overwhelm in order to achieve a position where you actually get to have what you want and feel good doing it. And although many of these dreams at first seem impossible, at second glance they can seem merely improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

However, one of my readers contacted me to say that no matter how much she planned to get done during the day, she always felt stressed out at 5pm when it was time to go home to her family. She never felt like she accomplished everything she wanted, and frankly, she was feeling burnout from this routine.

She wrote:

Mickie why is it so hard for me to say no? I feel that I am a horrible person when I ever say no to someone, but I just feel that I am giving to everyone but myself. I think I'm grappling with burnout, and I fear I'm coming to the end of my patience. Do you have any tips for me on what I can do to avoid a complete meltdown?"

This hits on a really important topic for most people because as I'm sure you'd agree with me, sometimes we worry to much about what other people think and we end up putting ourselves last just to make other people happy. This is how busy people feel. But in such circumstances, if we need to set boundaries and say no to others in order to get what we want, then we have to do it without feeling guilty and worrying that we're hurting or letting others down.

There is a belief that if we have to say no to something we have to be aggressive and possibly even mean, but the most powerful strength is gentleness. It's all about having the right tools to create a connection. This includes a great alchemy of skills that you can learn and bring together to perform the magic of compassionate and thoughtful appropriate delivery, to help you say no without feeling bad about it.

So, I thought today I would publish 4 ways you can avoid – or recover from – burnout.

Nearly every successful person I know has grappled with burnout. I've personally gone through it and come out the other side several times. I did it by using these four techniques:

1. Truly disconnect. In today's business world, we are constantly tethered to our BlackBerries and "always-on" connections. Henry David Thoreau is quoted to have said, "A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone". As a result, when we truly disconnect from time to time, the effect is almost magical.

   By "disconnecting," I mean being totally out of touch with work. On a recent trip to Florida for a family holiday, for example, I did something that might seem a bit over the top: I "black holed" all my emails during that week. Everyone who emailed me got an automatic response letting them know who to contact for help or support while I was gone, and asking them to email me again after my return if they still needed me. Then their email was deleted.

   Most business people are scared to death to do this, worrying that they might miss something incredibly urgent. Then they come back from vacation and are even more stressed out than they were before they left, because they've got 2,313 emails sitting in their inbox.

   If you just sort of disconnect instead of completely disconnect, there's always a tiny voice in the back of your head replaying, over and over again: "Wow! I wonder how much email I'll have to catch up on? I wonder what's going on back at the office?" You've got to totally cut this off to free up more "Psychic RAM" in your head.

2. Refocus on your successes. Many times, the feeling of burnout occurs because things are not going right. Keeping in mind that "right" is a relative term (and I believe everything ends up the way it should be, no matter what), the way to overcome this form of burnout is to change your focus.

   Focusing your energy on what's wrong only creates an endless spiral of more and more negativity. Instead, take out a piece of paper and start making a list of every "victory" you've had during this year, this quarter, this month, or this day. When you do that, selective perception kicks in - and you'll see that there is significantly more good than bad going on. My twin flame swears by this technique, using it as a positivity pill to energise him towards his workload.

3. Set a major goal that you cannot achieve on your own. I admit, I've only just started doing this. But I can already see how it leads to a powerful change of direction, intention, and motivation. And that can get anyone out of a funk. This is the kind of goal that rallies the troops and gets them to transcend what they themselves thought was possible. One famous example is Microsoft's original goal of "A computer on every desk and in every home." And the ultimate goal is to change the way business is played. To me that means bringing more fun into business and never doing things the same way they've been done. I utilise this in my life - and my love life - as well, and it helps keep the routine from becoming, well, routine.
4. Get back to the fun. Think back to when you were a kid - to the things that got you really jazzed and excited. What did you like to do? For me, it was writing, drawing, and making people laugh. That's why I write, why I've taken art classes and enjoy entertaining my friends. I make sure I incorporate activities into my life that give me enjoyment by making them a priority.

   How many times have you heard yourself saying, "I'd love to do such and such, but I can't because I'm too busy." But what you're really saying is that you have not made that activity enough of a priority in your life. Or that you feel guilty about having fun.

   For most of us, work is our default setting unless we have something else scheduled. Don't settle for enjoying life only when you can squeeze it in between business. Put fun activities, rewarding experiences, and exceptional adventures on your calendar and protect them like you would any other appointment. As I always say, the richer and deeper the source of emotional recovery, the more we refill our reserves and the more resilient we become.

Give all four of the above ideas a try when you're feeling burned out or when you're trying to break free. They've worked for me - and they'll work for you too.

Protect your brain from burnout

The danger of burnout can affect our brain power, too. Our mind seems to seize up and refuses to take in new information. Experts say this is when fluid intelligence starts to decline and crystallised intelligence dominates, similar to what people over 40 experience. But whatever your age, there are ways you can optimize your fluid intelligence, boost brain function to protect it from early burnout - and stay younger, longer.

Abstract reasoning and solving problems are parts of your intelligence that are ongoing throughout your life. We use both types of intelligence, for example, when we have to solve a mathematical problem. You have to use fluid intelligence to figure out the strategy to solve the maths problem and then use crystallised intelligence to recall the right maths formula needed.

Fluid intelligence dominates when we are younger, when we do this without the benefit of experience or specific education about whatever information we want to process. Once we get older, however, crystallised intelligence takes over, so the theory goes, and we abstract reason and problem solve more by using prior knowledge, education and experience.

If fluid intelligence declines past 40 and crystallised intelligence continues to grow throughout the remainder of life, does that mean that we're incapable of processing new information like we did when we were younger? No, it just means that as we get older, we tend to rely on what we already know as a basis for in-taking new information rather than creating the wheel, so to speak, as when we were younger. We emulate this when we get burnout.

Our fluid intelligence is still there and able to be used - we just don't use it very much. Kind of like those bikes we used to ride more when we were kids. We still know how to ride them - but our bike riding skills are likely going unused more often now. For many of us, our gathering of new information, learning about it, retaining it, using it can fall into a rut. If we get into a routine of doing things, this just speeds up the process of crystallisation.

Our fluid intelligence skills, like our bike skills, can get more and more rusty as we get older. Our crystallised intelligence takes over and our brains just kind of function on auto-pilot, processing information automatically according to what we already know.

However, cognitive research shows that there are ways to "teach an old dog new tricks" or to protect your brain from early burnout, boosting brain power and memory by stimulating our fluid intelligence capabilities again. The research has shown that fluid intelligence, like any other skill, is trainable, and the more you train, the stronger it gets. According to experts, there are specific ways to stimulate and strengthen your fluid intelligence.

Here's how:

1. Novelty. Set out to learn about something you have no prior knowledge of. This can be as complicated as astronomy or as simple as replacing tile in your bathroom. Open yourself to new experiences of learning. This helps your brain make dopamine, a pleasure chemical, and stimulates the growth of new neuron connections. The upshot is, your brain likes, and thrives on, learning new things.
2. Challenge yourself. In physical exercise, the concept of muscle confusion is successful as it constantly challenges the body to respond to new movements, thereby strengthening it. The same is true for your brain and cognitive abilities. Playing brain games are great, but once you master them move on to another and master it. Tetris is a good game to play for example. Keep challenging your brain to strengthen itself.
3. Think creatively. Use both sides of your brain to make associations to solve a problem or learn something new. Draw input from both conventional and unconventional thinking. In short, don't rely on your crystallised intelligence to figure it out.
4. Take the hard way. We've all learned more efficient ways of doing things. However, next time, try doing something a less efficient way to stimulate problem solving and get your brain off auto-pilot. For example, instead of using Map Quest, or your GPS, buy a road map, get a bright red pen, and map out your destination yourself.
5. Socialise. Network or join new groups outside your realm of knowledge to gain different perspectives on the world. Meeting new people and entering their environment stimulates your fluid intelligence/cognitive thinking by getting you out of a rut. It allows you to gain different perspectives from different people and challenge your own thinking.

As I tell my friends suffering from brain burnout, to keep your brain and your memory functioning in a youthful way, it's important to give it regular exercise the same as you do the rest of your body.

Challenging your brain to learn and experience new things outside of your workplace does the same thing for your cognitive functioning as using different muscle training exercises does for your body - it stimulates brain health and growth. It also stimulates feel good dopamine hormones in your brain that helps fight depression, lowers stress and cortisol levels that makes you irritable and short-circuits memory. So no more burnout!

Boost your memory for added power

Our brain is a complex data base, and we can sometimes get stressed - which prolonged can lead to burnout - when we begin experiencing brain fog - i.e., forgetting some things like a name, where they put our keys, appointments, etc.

Most of these memory episodes are not due to some serious brain process 95% of the time. Rather, they are likely due to just the usual memory and cognition (ability to perceive and interpret) changes. These changes are not permanent and may just indicate fatigue, stress, nutritional deficiencies, or even cognitive boredom, meaning your brain is not getting enough stimulation! In fact, you can do a lot to boost brain power and memory and I'm going to recommend some easy things below that will help you do that.

1. Diet/Nutrition: You will have heard that fish is brain food, that's because it contains Omega-3 oils that repair worn out brain cells and preserves all your memory areas. Your brain (and the rest of you) thrives on proteins. Limit simple sugars in your diet. Your brain (and the rest of you) functions better making its own glucose from complex carbohydrates and proteins.
2. Oxygen power: Your brain needs oxygen to thrive. Working in a stuffy office or house all day can zap your brain power. I tell my friends to open their windows and take several deep breaths when they wake up in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. If possible, go for a walk, exercise, work, or play outside in the fresh air for a few hours, weather permitting.
3. Exercise: Some experts suggest aerobic exercise 3-4 times a week (running, walking, bicycling, swimming, treadmill, elliptical, dance aerobics, etc.) in tandem with muscle strengthening exercise like weight-lifting, kettle bell workouts, yoga, all help deliver oxygen to all the tissues of your body including your brain. In addition, it creates feel-good hormones in your brain that helps clear brain fog and depression.
4. Recharge with sleep: Getting enough sleep is like plugging your brain in to recharge. Nothing zaps your short term memory and creates brain fog more than not sleeping enough. Your brain and other parts of your body repair itself during sleep. Eat a high protein, zero sugar, snack on turkey or tuna before going to sleep to help your body release growth hormone, the master repair hormone. Sugary snacks, especially 2 hours prior to sleep, turn off its release.
5. Stimulate your brain: As mentioned before, do crossword puzzles, play card games, chess, any type of game that requires memory recall and/or critical thinking will stimulate both your short term and long term recent memory to stay sharp. Break your patterns by changing things up. For example take a new way to work, use your opposite hand to do tasks, build a birdhouse, take up painting, or learn a language! Your brain thrives on learning and slows without stimulation.

   Learn to boost your brain.

6. Avoid substance abuse: Research has shown that smokers and alcohol drinkers develop dementia more than non-smokers. Alcohol kills brain cells that do not recover.
7. Avoid neurotoxins: Exposure to toxic chemicals like spray paints, some glues, environmental chemicals, pesticides, can all cause neurologic damage especially without good ventilation.
8. Avoid Aspartame: Check the label of products, but generally sold as Equal, Nutra-Sweet, Spoonful, now renamed as Neotame, aspartame is an excitotoxin that some experts believe creates all kinds of neurologic havoc, including memory loss, irritability/rage, damage to developing foetus nervous systems, etc. New research shows that diet sodas are linked to strokes, but do not state why. It could be the aspartame in certain diet sodas (Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Diet Pepsi) that is the cause and not that it is sugar-free.
9. Memory robbing drugs: Many prescription drugs can cause memory loss. If you feel your medications may be contributing to your memory problems, talk to your doctor, or your pharmacist, and ask him to look into whether memory loss could be a side effect.
10. Brain/Memory boosting supplements: B vitamins, especially folic acid, B6, B12, are crucial to good brain health. As we get older, we don't absorb B12 from our intestine and most everyone gets deficiencies making it a crucial vitamin to supplement. Other brain cognition and memory boosters that you can supplement with are phosphatidylcholine, DMAE, phosphatidyl inositine, acetyl-L carnitine, phosphatidyle serine, vinpocetine, and huperzine.

Getting older doesn't have to be fraught with anxiety of forgetting everything and everyone you know. Stay away from neurotoxins, eat a healthy diet full of brain-memory preserving nutrition, make use of the brain-boosting supplements available, exercise and keep challenging yourself to do and learn new things. You'll be surprised at the difference it can make in keeping all your precious memories intact.

Figure out something new to do, or learn, every week, even if it's just taking a different way to work or going somewhere different for lunch. Allow yourself to meet and experience people with different perspectives that will stimulate your fluid intelligence ability. Your brain will love you for it and I know you'll feel more energised!

And remember chase after your passions, do it with love, and you'll find yourself stronger when you recover with your love power.

Yours in love,