Trust in Twin Flame Love

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In my "Facing Challenges with Your Twin Flame" post I wrote that every relationship - even those with your twin flame - will throw up challenges for you to face.

There are many reasons why twin flames undergo an often temporary time of physical separation after the initial meeting. It is believed that when twin flames first meet their souls alight in the flames of love. But then for some relationships there comes the troubles, the conflicts, the arguments, the hot/cold behaviour, the confusion, the feelings of so-called craziness - the list goes on. But why does this happen? Why, when there is so much love, is there so much conflict and running away from each other?

Experts on twin flames will tell you that this is a soul connection and our souls are made from pure love. Think about it for a second, our souls are love, in it's purest form. Our souls are so eager to reconnect us with our twin flames in the physical, you'd think it would be simple. But, we are each individual, and there are those that believe there are many lessons to learn, many tests to take before we can fully unite with our twin flames.

First there is the ego and all the preconceptions we have about the way we think love should be. But this is soul love and therefore it doesn't fit into the earthly creations of romantic relationships - it goes far beyond that, therefore it is impossible to try and limit the love by forcing it into a purely romantic setting. This is placing conditions upon our love. The soul loves unconditionally and until we enter more into our soul-consciousness, our souls will keep repelling, because we are placing expectation and conditions upon the connection and this is not pure love.

This means we have to cultivate our soul to a level of awareness that can accept the truth of true love.

Twin flames are reflections of each other, of Self, so it is said - and they show us everything about ourselves that we don't love, accept and what needs healing. When these inner blocks still remain, they will continue to be reflected between the twins and yet again it will repel them to go their separate ways again until we look inwards and heal inwards individually.

Often twins run because there are parts of themselves they don't love or accept, and they can't handle seeing these things illuminated through the connection. They don't feel good enough and are afraid that if they get close, the other twin will see these parts of themselves (they are trying to deny or hide) and reject them. This rejection, they believe, would crush them and prove to them the very things they detest about themselves to be correct. They run from their own fears about themselves.

However, this is often subconscious, and the twins point their fingers at each other, and blame the other for the breakdown of a physical relationship. But experts say this is a learning curve that has been pre-determined by both twin flames before they incarnate, to help them learn and grow the most. The physical separation forces the twin flames to eventually look deeper within and awaken more to their soul-consciousness and realise that it is about healing the self.

We must find ourselves before we find true love; we must learn to love ourselves before we can love our other self.

Depending on the individual, sometimes it takes time for twin flames to trust in the love. As the attraction comes about immediately and so intensely, it often goes beyond the logic we are taught to trust in, rather than emotion and intuition.

Many twins feel the transformation happening within them, as they awaken more and more to their soul-consciousness, but try to fight it because they are afraid of the unknown. They believe they are happy (or at least comfortable) at how they had made sense of the world before meeting their twin flame - it fits into most other people's views too.

They wonder how they could survive if they suddenly allowed themselves to trust in intuition and soul and spirituality. Won't people think they are mad? Won't they lose friends and even family? What if they are married, won't their husbands/wives think them mad or bad? They feel so alone, so confused and think they are mad. So they run, to save themselves the trouble.

But as they run from the connection, their twin flame and themselves, they begin to lose themselves, and close up their heart - becoming numb, depressed, and lost. On the surface they try to make out everything is fine. They are desperate to make everything fine, and bring their lives back to some so-called normality again, because they fear they are weak to believe in this twin flame love - especially when they think the twin has hurt them so much (or has the potential to hurt them).

They cannot yet see that it is their own inner hurt, their own inner rejection that has caused so much pain. But their inner numbness becomes very frightening, their depression very real. People can see they are changing but they cannot tell them why - no-one would understand.

So they begin to feel more and more alone, and they are pushed deeper into themselves, into their emotions. But this is where their intuition is and where the inner knowing of the soul-consciousness resides. Eventually the fear of losing themselves will become bigger than the fear of facing up to their inner issues.

As the saying it is darkest before dawn can ring so true, sometimes twin flames need to feel the deepest depths before they accept there is another way into love, into freedom, into happiness.

But the path leading to that can be very rocky and will be for a reason, to help them trust in themselves more and love themselves. Trusting and knowing yourself is important, so it can be reflected back between the twins for reunion to occur.

But what practical tips can we use in such situations to get lucky in love and better trust our partner? Below I provide some guiding tips that will help not only twin flames, but general information for everyone looking to capture someone's heart.

How to be lucky in love

Are you known amongst your friends to entertain with amusing and unsuccessful love stories, full of woes, bizarre dates, nightmare situations and that one with the funny leg? If so, you could be suffering from a universal self-sabotage syndrome that psychologists call emotional masochism.

Basically: It's as if each of us grew up feeling comfy with a certain level of happiness. Some of us are used to 90%, others only 75%, others only 17%. The point is, when this concentration shifts upwards - then a lot of us start to feel twitchy, because this new zone feels very unfamiliar. We instinctively do what we must do to muck up our love life so we can shift our happiness concentration back down, down to our familiar zone.

So how do you break free from the shackles of emotional masochism?

You must 100% accept that you do a lot of the silly things you do because of your insecurities and some negative past or childhood issues you may have. It is after all much easier to be miserable, and to sneak up and kill the dragon before it wakes. My advice is, you're a lot bigger and braver than you were in the past, so take a deep breath, wake the friendly dragon and let it show you a different side.

After you get done blaming your past for pain, you must accept some responsibility. After all, you've been an adult or adult-ish for a while now. Although your troublemaking subconscious has gotten you into some painful relationships and situations, the time has come for you to show your cerebrum who's boss and stop allowing those painful misadventures to get in the way.

Here's how:

1. With my 90 day mind healing programme you can release resistance and get rid of negative emotions, but next time you're tempted to settle for a pattern of pain, repeat the following mantra: I am not my past behaviour. I am not my past failures. I am not how others have at one time treated me. I am only who I think I am right now in this moment. I am only what I do right now in this moment! (But maybe not out loud on the bus.)
2. Talk with your friends, family members you feel that you can be open with about this concept of emotional masochism. Chances are they will probably throw their arms up in the arm in pure jubilation and relish in the fact you've seen the light. You'll find that the more you can be honest about repressed feelings and share them, the less troublemaking your subconscious will need to be.
3. Recognise that you have triggers that remind you of past pain and might thereby create a downward spiral of negative thinking and behaviour. Clear your life of these triggers! Instead, get "trigger-happy" and focus on positive triggers that remind you of all your happy relationships. If suddenly you feel yourself wobble, listen to a song that reminds you of a great time with friends, call someone that makes you laugh, think about something that makes you smile.
4. Finally, there's an added sneaky reason why painful patterns form: A theory à la Carl Jung, a great psychological thinker. He believed that our lives need meaning and purpose. If we don't have meaning and purpose, we acquire a bad habit in order to create drama and excitement. Jung called these patterns of pain "low-level spiritual quests". The good news: You can more readily dump negative patterns by developing a high-level quest - a driving positive force that drives you forward. Meaning? Often, it's easier to dump negative patterns in love if you develop an exciting hobby. Consider taking up cycling, skydiving, scuba diving, exotic cooking, going to gigs, tennis. And who knows - maybe in the process you'll find someone wonderful you can share your stimulating new hobby with!

How to trust your partner

So, once you've won your lover's heart, you might find that your past issues can still adversely affect your relationship. Below I share information on how to deal with trust issues in a relationship and how to trust your partner.

Lack of trust, or what some call doubt, is a mental illness that affects many relationships negatively. Lack of trust is a huge problem that can ruin the relationship. Lack of trust could lead you to start checking your loved ones mobile, purses, cars, clothes, watching them, and stalking them among other things.

A lack of trust makes you live in fear, worry, and distress. It also could lead you to depression among other mental problems. If you suffer from this illness, which is called lack of trust, then you need to learn how to overcome it, otherwise, it will ruin your relationship with your partner.

If your goal is to learn how to build trust in a relationship, follow the below steps:

1. When you begin to doubt your partner, stop right away and switch the thought to a positive one. Stopping the thought as soon as it starts is one of the most effective ways you can do to overcome lack of trust in a relationship.
2. If you have witnessed something that makes you doubt your partner, then talk to your partner about it in a calm way. Communication is the key.
3. If you have seen your parents deal with a lack of trust issue, then it is better to start working on healing yourself, work with a counsellor or a life coach. Research shows that many people who lack trust in their relationship do so because they learned to doubt their partners from seeing their parents not trusting each other. Therefore, to build trust in a relationship, you need to start healing yourself and changing your mental habits.
4. Learn visualisation (with my 90 day mind healing programme) as it is one of the best ways to relax you and will help you get rid of lack of trust issues. When you are relaxed, you can start to visualise yourself that you and your partner trust each other, understand each other, and love each other. Remember, visualisation helps you to program your subconscious mind with what you want to achieve.
5. To build trust in a relationship, you have to build your self confidence. Many people's lack of trust issues stem for lack of confidence. For example, every time your partner talks to the opposite sex, do you get jealous and start having some doubts? Do you asking questions such as "Does he/she love me?" "Does he/she find me attractive?" "Why is he/she talking to her/him?" "Why is he/she late?"
6. Learn to be sincere and truthful. Truth is the currency of love. If you have a lack of trust problem now and you have lost the trust from your partner, then don't worry. You can regain the trust from your partner in a few months if you are willing to overcome your lack of trust issues and doubts, you just have to be sincere and truthful.

Yours in love,

Love What You Do

Wales is my spiritual home. When I think of a romanticised Wales, I imagine rolling green hills and wonderful stone built workshops isolated in the countryside, with beams of sunlight glittering in on a lone artisan working inside his stone-brick shop. I imagine peering in through the dusty window, watching an old master at work using hand tools, working with his hands, creating Celtic instruments, while in the background the gentle strumming of a harp made by his hands sings Celtic music.

There is beauty in tradition. Today, however, old handicrafts are replaced by computerised technology; the mechanisation of harp making is a prime example. The end of the old ways might seem sad to some, but it is also about passing the craft on to the next generation. It's about taking the baton on to the next generation, and expanding what the old master has done, because eventually the pupil should exceed the master, or the master has failed.

Computerisation mainly frees up drudgery (breaking the donkey work down) for the artisan who then has more time to be creative, which will eventually help improve the instrument. If this can give the youngster the buzz of creating, then it means the craft will survive. And although there is a danger that all the old ways might be replaced, generally human skill will always be needed for the soundboard and acoustics.

Youngsters brought up with computers can use skills the old artisan might not have, and that is great - it's a cross-fertilisation where the artisan needs the young apprentice, and the apprentice needs the artisan's skills - to make the partnership more balanced.

It's the way of the world, balancing the old with the new, and making sure that the best survives for the generations to come. But I suppose what is most important is not the tools used for the craft, but the passion behind it.

I've talked about achieving a state of bliss, but loving your job, or going after your passion in the workplace can add help to add meaning and purpose to your life. It makes sense that if you enjoy your work, you can be a happier person. It is necessary to focus more on being, rather than just doing, but if you love what you do, then you can love what you be.

Anyone can replicate products and services. Anyone can offer things for sale. Anyone can put up a website. Anyone can post notes on social media sites. Anyone can buy a success system and follow the step-by-step pattern. So why don't more people win at business?

Because they forget the "you" factor. They forget that at the heart of every successful business is a sales engine. There is a real, live human being that has discovered how to reach across the mail, email, websites, banners, billboards, and store fronts, and convince his fellow human being to pay him/her money for his/her wares.

This real, live human being has discovered that it is their unique insights, characteristics, and style that does the selling. Once they unlock the recipe for how to sell what they are offering, they can teach it to employees and replicate it.

But the first and most important job we have is to inject the "you" factor into the sales process.

You must discover the answer to this question: "Which, of all the selling approaches I could use, would I personally be best at putting to use based on my skills and talents?" Let me give you an example of how this works: When my twin flame started his own business, we went to a seminar by Bob Bly called "Selling Yourself".

Bob is a very smart fish. During those four days, Bob presented us with more than a dozen different techniques and strategies for marketing ourselves. He also brought in guest speakers to give us their perspective.

But, the most important thing Bob did was give us the underpinning principles of marketing ourselves. He not only told us "what" to do and "how" to do it - he told us "why". He then told us that in the real world, his ideas would not show up as they had in the seminar. Things would be different. We would need to adjust and adapt. We would need to personalise it to fit our unique style.

At the time, we did not realise how powerful this was or how wise Bob was in presenting it to us this way.

But, my twin flame took his advice to heart. He tried a number of different approaches. In the end, he found that his best success came in picking up the phone and calling people. He has a natural ability to create instant rapport with people in person and over the phone. People just like him and trust him when they meet him.

Over the course of hundreds of calls, he discovered a script and approach for closing deals. Today, he can close a consulting deal, almost at will, if he can speak on the phone or in person to someone.

Why? Because he combined proven sales tactics and strategies with his unique style and approach. He discovered the answer to his sales question and his business boomed.

Ways to sell your business

For this article I asked my twin flame to provide a short, simple list of ways he has seen people successfully market and sell profitably. All will work. But not all will work best for you and your business. Your task is to discover which ones will and focus on them until you master them.

• Direct mail
• TV ads
• Billboards
• Social Media
• Pay-Per-Click
• Door-to-door (yes, people are still getting wildly rich doing this)
• Telemarketing
• Retail
• Swap-meets, farmer's markets, and such
• SEO
• Magazines
• Video marketing
• Live events

What can you add to the list? There are many, many more approaches.

A powerful, upward cycle

Let me continue by giving you an outline of why it is so vital and rewarding for you to focus your unique abilities on discovering the best possible sales strategy for your business.

When you focus on discovering your unique ability to sell to your market, experts say a magical chain of events happens in your life and business.

• You specialize and begin to master your unique talents and skills.
• As you get better and better, you grow in confidence. Confidence is a key part of all success.
• Confidence gives you great doses of courage. Courageous people are always willing and able to do scary, "impossible" things. This separates them from the crowd.
• Doing scary, unique, uncomfortable things because you have courage allows you to produce unique results, products, and services.
• This draws people to you. People love new and unique and special. And, they pay for it!
• The more you focus on "just you" sort of tasks, the more money you make because you are specializing, growing in confidence, etc. People notice that and will pay you more for it.
• As you make more and focus on your strengths, you will sell more, grow in joy, peace, wealth, and fulfilment. It's fantastic!

There is no escaping that fact.

You see, I've always wanted to start my own business – a business that would empower the working mum. A business that would provide the tools for EVERY working mum to lead a healthier, wealthier, and more balanced life.

It is my belief that working mums have more influence on what our world will look like than any other single group of people. Plus, they have the responsibility to match.

But I already have a job. And not just any job. I have one of the best jobs in the world. But it is a passion of mine for the future that I am researching.

These are the three most valuable lessons I have learned thus far:

1. Less is more. A friend of mine recently left her corporate job to start her own marketing consulting firm. The first thing she did was find office space. I asked her why she was doing it. She told me that, with the real estate market in the dumps, space was a bargain. So she was able to rent space for $1,500 a month that normally went for three grand.

   But she did not stop there. She bought a desk, chair, filing cabinets, and a couch. She spent £5,000 before she wrote a sales letter or had a website built.

   After two months of trying, she finally landed her first client. That client is paying her a £2,000 a month retainer. You do the maths.

   Back in 2009, when my twin flame started his own business we did not have a library, den, or office, but still he did not go out and rent space. He converted our rarely used dining room into his office. (Heck, we're kitchen people anyway.) It overlooks a forest, and he find it very conducive to working. When he or I need a change of scenery, we take our laptops and sit out by the trees. He did not buy filing cabinets or print business cards. He had a really good computer and he understood the value of knowing how to use it to it's fullest.

2. Work on your business every day. When you are starting a brand-new business that is going to be your livelihood, there are no weekends. You don't get the day off because it is your wedding anniversary or your kid's birthday. You have to make sacrifices.

   Now does this mean my twin flame missed his loved ones' birthday? Of course not. But after I went to bed, he worked. He worked until he finished everything he needed to do. Sure, the goal of having your own business is to get it to the point where you are living your desired lifestyle. But this does not happen overnight.

   You must take your business seriously. For this very reason, I vowed that I would not work in my pyjamas. I still get up and get my bike ride in first thing in the morning. I then shower, dress, and dive into my work. My twin flame does the same.

   We don't stay in bed an extra hour or talk on the phone. We treat our work with respect. I know far too many "entrepreneurs" who are still in their pyjamas late in the afternoon. These are the people who are always asking why they are not doing as well as their competitors.

3. Know your market intimately. It's best if you are a member of your target market. If you are not personally in your target market, there are several things you can do to get yourself up to speed. Start with these:
   • Study your competition. Understand what they do and figure out how you can do it faster, better, and cheaper.
   • Use Amazon to get insider information about your prospective customers. Read reviews on products similar to the ones you are thinking of developing. Decide how you could address buyers' concerns and enhance the features and benefits they like.

These lessons alone will help you make more money and gain more flexibility in your business.

And this is important - my work speaks to my passion, but starting and cultivating a profitable business is important. And, managing that business while procuring flexibility adds tremendous value to your life.

As you can see all three sides of the triangle, money, passion and flexibility should be considered in starting and running your business. As your business grows the priorities will shift. Some days all three may share in equality. Some days one or two may take a strong lead. Just like all aspects of your life your business in continuously evolving.

Ultimately you'll discover that if you love what you do, what you do will love you.

Yours in love,