| 
We only fail ourselves when we believe in failure. Failure is a full stop. Or we perceive it to be. Are you afraid to fail? Have you ever avoided trying something because you couldn't stand defeat? Do you have the feeling you could be accomplishing much more than you are now, but you fear losing what you currently have?
The fear of failure is a major hindrance to success. Our perception that it exists can poison our self-confidence, and in fact, some experts believe the biggest toxin in our body can be the negativity in our brains. Which is unfortunate, because "failure" is a necessary component of success. We just need to re-label it, because it isn't really "failure".
Read how to handle a fear of failure.
If we delve into this a little further, we find that we are often emotionally addicted to many forms of fear. We are addicted to approval, addicted to the feeling of not being worthy, and all the other addictions that stem from this addiction in turn stems from a disconnection from your true identity, a disconnection from your soul.
The first childhood "fear addiction" of needing approval creates a cavernous hole that can't be filled; it's an insatiable hunger or thirst that can't be filled by anything outside of ourselves, but we don't know that. So we try and fill it with outer things, to make life - and what we see as our failures - more bearable. The more we do this, the more distance we put between our authentic self and our conscious awareness.
In this sense, physical addiction is seen as an effect - or symptom - not the cause. Often an addict sufferer can find the cause by going back to the past and removing the trash that has accumulated to get him or her back on track. It's about reaching out to your inner child and healing the rift by forgiving and letting go of the events in the past, which have succeeded in getting between "the two of you".
Having a deep sense of compassion for your inner child is important. Some suggest that we all sense our inner child in different parts of the body, for example, some may feel a twinge in their tummy or their chest, when a current hurtful event reminds them of their past. Experts suggest we can rub that area and talk to our self with compassion.
We are, after all, spirits having a human experience, we are not born as undeserving or bad people. Understanding this switches us from beating ourselves up over circumstances that can't be changed (except in our perception of it) to deep compassion for our inner child. The compassion must coincide with release, because keeping any bitterness over the past will not serve you as it will chain you to being a victim.
Recognise your fears, and have compassion for your inner child, but also recognise it is not the truth about you - your focus should be on how you now connect to the truth of your authentic self. Because as spirits having a human experience, we have to rise and grow above and beyond the addictions that trap us into a sabotaging perception of failure.
When you feel powerless over your emotions, over fear and worry - or whatever your "fear addiction" happens to be - you have to be ready to dive in and connect with the real power that is within yourself. The power greater than yourself IS yourself. It's not out there in the ether, it is already in your very own being.
To reach (or restore, if we ever had it in the first place some argue) our wholeness, or our original nature that we have been conditioned to forget, we need to embrace all the events in our lives, even the ones that we know helped to initially distance us from our true self. The reason is that it was not the act itself that unwittingly succeeded, but our own unconsciousness.
Conciousness awareness is the greatest armour against what we perceive to be our failures and fears - because once we realise that it is our perception, our failures are only those things we allow ourselves to accept as such. But to achieve this "soul recovery", we need to have a deep sense of compassion for our self.
If you've been through very tough times, don't think of yourself as bad, or damaged, or not enough - you just thought you were. Healing your sense of self-worth, your deserving and self-esteem will mean your emotional and spiritual parts of your wholeness and well-being become balanced, rather than the emotional roller-coaster we find when our addictions take us for a ride.
Love is the true balancer in life.
When we are more balanced, we can perceive things more clearly. And when we do act out, it could just be our inner child not getting the attention it deserves, or the love and healing that is required. When we snap at someone, we can ask ourselves - what's going on? What are we trying to protect? When we feel we have failed, what is it we are really trying to communicate to ourselves about this current episode in our lives?
While it sounds contradictory, the truth is to truly succeed you must fail. To live a fulfilling life, you must from time to time experience defeat. To have true joy, you must know sorrow. It is the dark that gives the light weight, and the contrasting events to our successes are no more than the stages we pass through on the way to greater understanding of what we truly desire.
The most successful people are the people who fail most often, but continue to try. To enjoy true success you need to push yourself beyond your current limits. Those limits are often self-imposed and are often rooted in the fear of failure.
Want to realise your potential? Want to truly enjoy your life? Then push yourself. Try, and fail. Then, try again. You will fall, you will lose, you will experience sorrow and defeat. And, if you continue to push on, you will experience true success.
Are you afraid to lose? Face loss. Are you afraid to fall? Face a fall. Are you afraid of injury? Face injury. Then heal. Get up again. Start anew. Love again. Fall in love again.
You fall once more? Then you get up again. Sooner or later, what you reach out for, you will touch. The day will come that the person you are looking for will find you.
But if you give up, give into your fear just once, if you place a mask over your authentic self and brick yourself up against the world, then it's truly over for you. Whatever you desire, whatever you wait for will never arrive. There is no failure, except in no longer trying.
Theodore Roosevelt put it this way, "Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much. Because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
Do you want to know true victory? Do you want to live to your full potential? Do not fear defeat. Believe that failure does not exist. And this is doubly so, when we set out with love. Because we believe in both what we achieve and what we don't, as being helpful towards our greater improvement.
Love should be the reason behind everything you do, if it is not, you should question why you are doing it. Attune yourself to love, for it, too, like your authentic self, knows no failure.
Yours in love,
