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“In Paris, there is a bridge over the Seine where lovers attach a lock with their marks - initials, a date, or a quote. After locking onto the bridge, the keys are heaved into the Seine. But this tradition isn't exclusive to Paris. Humans have been doing this in Italy, Scandinavia, Turkey and in many other regions that have hosted global and nomadic superpowers. It's evidence of a common ground between cultures during our unique journeys throughout the centuries, where the inner voices of our humanity have whispered to us that love is the bridge between two hearts - padlocked to those courageous enough to throw away its key.”
— Mickie Kent
There's no doubt that we all hope and wish for a more peaceful world. But have you ever considered that in order to achieve this, we must first find peace within ourselves? Ask yourself this: what are you doing right now to cultivate a more peaceful life? What have you done today to make a positive contribution to your life and the lives of others?
When I mean contribution, I don't mean huge or elaborate shows of charity. It can even just be a pick-me-up smile to yourself in the mirror, replacing one negative thought with a positive one, to call a friend you haven't spoken to ages, to ask someone how their day is going and to really mean it.
Finding inner peace during turbulent times, regardless of who you are and where you live in the world can be difficult, but it's when you need it the most. In previous posts I've been currently touching upon the multiple crises we're experiencing like wars, financial crisis, violence and terrorism, but I've also emphasised how only a clear understanding of love is the way to inspire people to engage in the movement toward a more loving (and thus peaceful) world.
After publishing these posts on Mickie Kent I received numerous emails thanking me. A few readers opened up about their personal and spiritual journeys that empowered them to make a better contribution to their lives and to humanity. Those letters reveal how YOU can make a positive contribution not only to your life, but to the lives of billions of people worldwide with simple, small steps each day that bring us all closer by building a bridge with love.
But how ever many theories there are as to the modern-day origins of love bridges, of more importance is how it's captured the imagination of people across nations. Since signed padlocks started appearing on bridges, particularly in Paris, lovers and individuals alike have flocked to add their lock to a timeless display of love. You only have to go to the love lock bridges in Paris to see a testament to the love people have shared, or to their American, Italian and Far Eastern counterparts.
Pragmatic realism always has to have its say, too, however. The padlocks are attached to the bridges, and the keys thrown in the rivers so you can't remove them in the hope to keep them there forever, but the padlocks are removed regularly. In Paris after a few months, when the locks have completely filled a panel, the panel holding the locks is removed and wood is affixed in place of the panel, until it's replaced with a new iron panel days later, and people fill it up with locks again.
The answer to where the locks go after they are removed is unknown, but lovers who go back looking for their locks may be disappointed. When I learned of this, my twin flame and I decided to build a tiny love bridge in our garden instead. Every Valentine's Day and subsequent special occasion we re-affirm our love to each other with padlocks in our Zen-styled garden. We were going to bury the keys in the garden, but we have pets we're responsible for, so I'm currently collecting them.
In the spirit of recycling when I have enough I will have them melted down to custom make another padlock for our bridge - without a key this time. And when I go out in the garden to meditate, I notice how our love locks have grown across the years, gradually watching how our loving intention have manifested into a special shrine across the years. Every lock is a testament, a promise made to each other.
Likewise turning city bridges into love shrines may be romantic, but many cities aren't feeling the same love - and not merely because of lock logistics, either. City councils have begun to complain about the upkeep of these bridges. With Paris's bridges groaning under the weight of an estimated 700,000 padlocks scrawled with lovers' names, a campaign started by two Americans living in Paris say it's time to end the love locks "madness" - with some calling the charming gesture an act of vandalism.
Not giving credence to the age-old common saying across traditions that "cursed shall be the one who divides what love unites", countries like Germany, Ireland and Italy have already closed or threatened to close love bridges down that have popped up in their major cities.
Love bridges as the one in Paris currently inhabit every continent in the world, adorned with similar love locks (also known as love padlocks and, in Taiwan, wish locks) affixed by sweethearts to symbolise their everlasting love.
Before the romantics among us (with myself first in line) start to grumble about kill-joy politicians, there has to be someone to calculate cost, and space and damage to the bridges (just last June the Pont des Arts footbridge in central Paris was so weighed down by the thousands of locks affixed to its grillwork that a section of the fencing collapsed), when that's the way society is primed to work. We don't attempt to discover solutions to accommodate such innocent nuisances, it's just more cost effective to ban things that have no outwardly evident practical purpose.
But humans are primed to work in their own way, too, and as sure as one bridge closes, another will bloom elsewhere. For there is a very practical need in us to connect with love - and for some that means displaying their love across public fences, gates, and bridges as a symbol to the voice that calls us from within to truly bind us together. And what is inside us we reflect to the world outside.
And the bridges we build in our lives, with each small brick laid down in the foundation of our actions, must be based on the common ground on which all the great wisdom traditions in the world stand - love. This bridge not only focuses on connecting you to your inner peace, but via your actions towards others to link you to the manifestation of a more peaceful world for everyone.
These universal principles can be used to help clear up the physiological junkyard we've made thanks to the disharmony with our modern societies, and achieve a sense of inner peace and wellness. Living with universal principles means to focus on the common threads that unite us all, rather than focusing solely on our differences. These are compassion, patience, understanding, tolerance, kindness - and really all come under the number one universal principle of love.
This not only aids as a moral compass for our core values, but it's a way into discovering our purpose in life, and thus who we really are. It gives self authenticity and a confidence and drive to attain, grounded in respect for the sanctity of ALL life, thereby becoming a process - a journey - of self-discovery. When the connections to our spirit are strengthened, then we can exert more influence on how we view the outcomes in our lives. In fact, it is only when we have a strong spiritual purpose we realise that outcomes are not as important as the way we view those outcomes are.
We all have the ability of intention and visualisation, but more importantly we all have a mental outlook that can inwardly change crises into opportunity just because we are intent on seeing it that way. Using universal principles with such positivity (united under the common theme of love) can power up our minds in unimaginable ways. It strengthens our focus, our imagination, and creativity, so that we may begin to apply (even if only with very small baby steps) common unifying wisdoms across the entire spectrum of lives to benefit ourselves, our immediate environment and the world at large.
Walking with love
Building bridges is the only effective way of communicating in all areas of our lives, and as humans we are THE animals of communication. We live to communicate. Even in our dealings with other animals we share the planet with, when we reach out to them with human communicative efforts (instead of killing them) almost miraculous discoveries occur in captivity and in the animal kingdom. Pandas can fake pregnancies to get more food off their keepers, dolphins trapped in nets will seek help from humans, while win the trust of a lion and you can produce scenes that feel straight out of The Lion King.
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| Deep in the African bush a lioness gives a giant hug to the man who helped save her. |
The path they decided to walk is a different one than we are yet fully accustomed to, but the end results can be spectacular. It shows that the only way we can create events where a fully grown lion gives a human prey an affectionate hug is through the bridge built to that animal. Centuries ago a human would have been standing at a far distance from a lion aiming a gun to kill it for fun in a hunt, and although this still happens, many more of us are now prepared to build bridges. We are beginning to understand that our sociability (however much we have tried to suppress it) is not only the key to how we reached the current stage of our brain's evolution, it's also the key to our future survival. Building bridges isn't easy - joining two distant sides by a common feature takes time and effort - but it's essential.
Part and parcel of seeking a common ground means that we will have to befriend love in our lives. As the single most important unifying principle of universality, we need to open our arms out to it, embrace it and welcome it in all its forms. Only then will we find the threshold to what many described as "inner peace".
This inner peace is more than a state of tranquillity or calm inside regardless of what is happening on the outside. Such tranquil states are a (very favourable) by-product of real inner peace, but the actuality is that the states of inner peace won't be constant. Rather they will be states that constantly fluctuate and recalibrate within a strong sense of fluidity of self and its place in the bigger picture.
In this context, inner peace, instead of the envisioning of a constantly stable and unshakeable platform, is more akin to a well-oiled set of scales on a moving wheel, constantly re-aligning itself between the wheel's momentum and its own need for equilibrium. The subtle and finely tuned harmonies attained within that partnership is what inner peace really is. Once we have this at work inside us, it means we have built a strong bridge to love.
Unless we build bridges between our healthy regimens, they may even conflict with one another and cancel any benefits out. But when diet and exercise are synergised, they can team up to achieve a MUCH greater result than any benefits you could get from either of them alone. That's strategic synergy - when the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. However, we won't even think about building bridges between them unless we start loving what we do.
We need to get a passion for staying healthy, and build from that bridge into the other areas of our lives. Similarly, for inner peace to work - and be at one in modern society - it has to work this way. As a case in point, it's easy for us to achieve "inner peace" when our senses are soothed: we are in a quiet, safe environment, surrounded by calming sounds, our favourite candles and scents. But what is really important is whether your inner peace can be activated on the inside when you have all sorts of challenges going on around you on the outside. In fact, those people we celebrate as masters or gurus are those people who do this automatically, and thus make inner peace look effortless.
This is more than remaining calm no matter what happens to you, because that isn't practical. There are times we are genetically in-built NOT to be calm for our own survival. Sometimes we need that "fight-or-flight" response to get us out of a tricky situation, and it doesn't matter if you're the greatest transcendental master there is, if you're in a physical body you're going to feel fear at one time or another.
Inner peace, then, is more correctly about being prepared in one's own heart, mind and soul to quickly become aware, get present and centre yourself when the need or a circumstance for fear does arrive. When we centre our heart, our devotional self, as well as our intellect we can then respond accordingly, because we'll remind ourselves that we have evolved and become enlightened enough not to forge life constantly in the heat of battle. Fear is not as central to our survival as it once might have been. Although modern society has its own set of unique stresses, civilization responds better to constructive responses instead of destructive ones.
This is why when you're in a particularly stressful situation, and you have a whole lot of things going on around you, breathing deeply, doing on-the-spot exercises (such as placing a hand on your heart), or using rehearsed mini-mindful meditation techniques can help you to navigate a path through those "storms in a teacup" much easier. You'll get unstuck from sticky situations much quicker when you stick to love and not your problems.
Sticking to love
Our human tendency is to remain stuck in our problems, when really we need to focus on getting unstuck. Most people feel stuck in their lives because they lock themselves completely on what's wrong instead of trying to find the real message behind it by trying to solve the REAL problem at hand.
The fact is we are all going to feel stuck some time in our lives, but being stuck can have its own spiritual purpose. It can actually be a sign that it's time for a transformation, and, if you let it, will guide you to where you need to focus your energy.
In accordance with school of thought, there is a theory that it's never your career, relationship or finances that causes the ACTUAL problem, but rather your own energy that simply becomes stuck. If you're at a point in your life where you feel uninspired and are craving to start enjoying life on a deeper level again, then it's believed you need to shift this spiritual energy so you can move on and reach your dreams. If this theory is too "woo-hoo" for some of us, then you can look at it as a series of mindful techniques that shows you how to find and use your own strengths to overcome any challenge in life.
I prefer to envisage this as promoting the building of bridges in our lives to the right sources, because the bridge can be a powerful symbol in helping us get unstuck. It reminds us that there IS a way across what might sometimes feel like an endless chasm. It can be a positive image to keep with us as we work through our individual issues, and positivity is the first technique we need to employ.
Thinking of one positive thing about about an existing challenge can open a door to this bridge and to solving the issue in your mind. Naturally, in life with some challenges - such as the death of a loved one - it will obviously be difficult to find a positive at first. But though the time frame for this positivity process may change, the principle is the same for your way out eventually. And if we can find one positive thing about a current crisis we can find two, four and so on, until the you discover the problem may have even solved itself before you get to listing ten positive things.
Often, especially in relationships when there is a break-up, the biggest positive it brings to the table is clarity, because it was not the thing you thought it was, rather it was a misalignment of values. So, having a crisis at that time may be the perfect opportunity to discover your core values, or those missing or that you have ignored in your life.
Having a more flexible mental filter in place means you take in more pleasure, too, as you participate in activities to boost your mood while you discover those values missing from your life. Whether you're taking a walk in the woods, biking on the beach, or picnicking at the park, chances are with this state of mind you're also noticing more than you did before. You are savouring life in its present moment of flow with its swings and roundabouts. It's about seeing the forest when you get lost, not just the trees, and enjoying the journey that's going to help you find the way out.
The more we can step outside of our situations and look at things from this divine perspective, that perspective, too, will expand. The bridge being built gets longer, and stronger, and sturdier - it will grow to become a fixture in your life that can carry any weight. During this process you'll either get a new perspective on your situation, or you'll start finally asking the right questions that leads you to the right answers. You may need to mentally prepare yourself before you start on your journey, and meditation can help you get into a happy place, before you work on getting unstuck. But when you feel ready, your first step is to start with just one positive thing.
The second step comes from a technique known as finding the "bigger me" or the "soul-self". The theory is that our soul-self is not simply a voice from within, but also the harmony we forge with the energies without. It's bigger than the physical container of our bodies, because if it was solely contained in our physical bodies it would be secondary to what is called the "ego-self". This opposing ego-self actually works to pull us away from our spirit, or soul-self, or our "bigger me" - who you are meant to be, or your defining purpose in life.
According to this ancient theory, we are asked to imagine that our soul-self is joined to our ego-self with a rubber band, so that when your challenges or someone else's problems arise, your ego-self will try to pull you away from your real self, causing tension on the rubber band. Thus, every life challenge is providing us with the opportunity to re-align with your soul-self and your purpose in life. Once we are aware of this tension line, we can replace it with a bridge we build with love, so when problems arise there is no tension between one or the other, but a sturdy bridge that carries us effortlessly through the crisis.
The defining qualities of the soul-self are again those universal principles already mentioned (and which we all know) - compassion, kindness and all those goodies that combine under the umbrella of love to keep us dry when the rain comes. We make the mistake that "soul-self" is a thing: We think we are simply the job we do, or the gender we are, and we have all these labels for each other we use to form useless judgement based opinions.
We put upon ourselves to describe who we are, and place the same burden on others. We think we are our personality, programmes and patterns, but in actuality we are the harmony or disharmony between them. This spiritual part of ourselves or harmonious energy is who we really are - a unique frequency connected to the divine and all that is. When we can tap into that, it really gives us a power of purpose, a real intuition on where we should go, and what mission we should be on to be able to fulfil our purpose on the planet.
On the opposite end, the qualities of our ego-self is negativity, destructive anger (ours or someone else's), indecision, doubts and worries that stretch us away from our soul-self - anything that has the purpose in life to create distance, or destroy bridges instead of building them between ourselves, other people and the things we wish to manifest into our lives. Next time you face a personal crisis in your life imagine your ego-self pulling on the rubber band that joins it to your soul-self. That's the source of the tension you feel.
However whenever we connect with the positive we are re-connecting or re-aligning with our soul-self. And when we feel stuck, we pull ourselves back. Instead of viewing the situation we're in as the problem and begin to attack it, we view the problem as energy that has become misaligned and stuck to our ego-self. In essence, it's we who has blocked the very bridge we need to cross. And even if we're not, it's we who can unblock the way forward.
Moving on with love
Others believe that alternative maximization strategies of your higher energies can be assessed via numerology or your astrology. Adherents to this view believe that numerology can reveal a lot about your specific abundance blocks, because your personal numerology chart is actually the blueprint of your soul. While others put their faith in a detailed look at how their ruling planets and stars are currently charting. Within both, followers believe a proper reading can illuminate all you're meant to experience and achieve in your lifetime, but more importantly, also uncover the sneaky subconscious blocks that are misdirecting your life path and ruining your chances of ever getting there - so that you can clear it at the source, and centre yourself in preparation of a crisis.
How to get heart-centred in a crisisContinuing on the subject of creating bridges towards wellness and betterment, we are ALL experiencing unprecedented transformation both personally and collectively. All of it not good, but all of it necessary. No wonder we can feel overwhelmed or fearful from the changes being required of us. We are trying to hold on to our balance, keep our spirits up, stay positive and move forward when there are so many things pulling us back - especially with the way the world stands at the moment.
Additionally, it's time to release any resistance, most notably your resistance to the changes taking place in your life. In other words, choose your confrontations wisely. Hang loose on any judgements to what is happening. You may not yet have a full understanding of the events unfolding. Often taking a step back is in actuality taking a step forward. What seems to be negative on the surface could turn out to be a blessing in disguise. For instance, the new lover to whom you were ready to give your body, mind and soul reveals that he is married. This can feel negative and painful at first, but in the end, you are being offered clarity as to what it is you don't want out of a relationship.
Ask yourself: Is your heart into what you are choosing for yourself? Because it's time to choose wisely. If not, it could be a false start and a waste of your precious time, resources and energy. Remember that when you do what is right (heart centred) for you, it is (real love) right for everyone else.
♥ What does your heart really want?
♥ What is right for you?
♥ What is right work for you?
♥ What is your right living location?
♥ What is right relationship for you?
♥ What is your right life path?The purpose of any breakthrough programme you employ in your life should be to strengthen and empower you. A journey of self-discovery that offers you fresh insight and new solutions to old problems. It will help make your changes less stressful, and breakthrough to your who you were meant to be. It may require that you raise your standards, and upgrade your relationships. You want to be in your integrity and practice the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. You want to speak your truth, and choose what is right for you. This is true empowerment. We have to tell the truth about how we feel and what we want.
When you find yourself at the end of a situation, a relationship, a job lay-off, closure of a private enterprise, you can feel as if you are operating in crisis mode and things around you seem to be falling apart. But many people are experiencing job changes, long-term relationship completions, health issues and financial problems, and in truth, we are all in completion and ending. Life is a constant state of transition, and these events are not always graceful. Go easy on yourself if you feel less than a transcendental master and feel more like a lost soul. Take comfort, you are not alone. Everyone is experiencing these life-changing events. This is one world, and we are all in it together.
We often find that people and organisations that deal well with change are prepared for the inevitable emotional stages of the process. This experience is like a death of sorts. Each of us has our own timetable for this process. We do not want to rush the process of breakdown and we do not want to stay too long in grief - as it can become addictive. To get through this process, seminal research on grief and death tells us there are six recognisable stages of grief that it's believe we all go through (although the time frames will differ for all of us), namely: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and hope.
During the breakdown phase, we may find ourselves in denial, depression and then moving onto hope and acceptance. We can jump around quite a bit in the first few months of our endings, for instance, we feel acceptance then flip into denial and hope, then reverse into anger. These stages seem most likely to manifest when change is externally imposed and something of value is being lost or given up because of the change. Each one of us will process in our own unique way. For instance, you may find your process takes you from denial to anger to acceptance only to find yourself back in anger. There are no short cuts to our growth. We need to be patient with our process and allow our life to unfold naturally, as we make a daily intention to commit to positive action over fearful inaction.
Your process to alignment with your true self is as important as your destination. You can choose to be positive and proactive, even if your growth is swift and painful. Attitude is everything. You must be willing to do your inner work and take full responsibility for your choices and behaviour. You can turn your obstacles into stepping-stones. Remember: every adversity, setback and challenge carries with it the opportunity to learn, grow and advance from the experience.
Start from the endings that are currently happening - whether that be a job or relationship − and evolve to new beginnings. You are the pen and the ink that writes the story of your destiny. Your thoughts are your tool of empowerment and your day-to-day life journey is the exercising of your instruments. Your intention is to empower you and your new life. Hope and a dream can take you there. Life is a journey. Get started today, and remember have some fun!
Another modern school of thought gives prominence to our hormones. As the seasons cycle and the moon cycles, and so, too, a woman cycles. Throughout the month, as well as her life, a woman navigates a complex play of hormones. Even if it's not as apparent, men go through their own cycles that they have to deal with throughout their lives. Our diet and daily physical activities - basically our lifestyle habits - are said to play an important part on the regulation of our hormones, and so what we eat and the exercises we do are all believed to impact on our mood and emotional wellness, too.
Towards this aim, along with a whole food approach to diet, yoga and meditation is said to be most beneficial. A 2010 study found that subjects who meditated 30 minutes a day for eight weeks had a reduction of grey matter in the amygdala - which is linked to fear and anxiety. And for those of us who are not interested in such alternative therapies, just staying positive daily and eating and exercising well can be just as empowering as putting your faith into spiritual based wellness goals.
We all instinctively know the subliminal power of smiles, don't we? Just as we're pretty good at figuring out when someone tries to manipulate them. As a fake smile - one too long, or simply inappropriate to the situation - might actually hurt more than help, so, too engaging in alternative therapies you don't really believe in or is unsuitable to your needs may harm or bring disillusionment in the long run.
But building bridges are journeys of discovery. We won't know until we try to find those methods that will help us manage our challenges to have less impact on our emotional behaviour and more on our emotional experience - so that we are able to look at our struggles more divinely, and thus more helpfully.
On an energetic (and practical) level, the stabilising pose we take towards life will help us build stamina and determination, while simultaneously setting our sights on life's higher purpose. The uplifting posture of positivity promotes courage and dispels despondency, invigorating us to fulfil our true potential in this world. This has many evolutionary advantages: it makes us more attractive to others, as some evolutionary advantages are wont to do, but more fundamentally it makes us resilient to the changes we will all endure as time goes by, and help us take one step higher upon the evolutionary ladder towards enlightenment.
With continued practice, there will eventually come a time when we will readily step into positive emotions to get to our soul-self, by using our positive qualities. When we can stand on the bridges we have built, and recognise the challenges and the negativity in ourselves and others as passing clouds in the sky, which we recognise, but neither identify or attach ourselves to. The more we let negativity float away, the more it will help us move forward in a more conscious manner.
And when we look at world events as they stand, we need to move forward more consciously than ever. There is still much work to do, because, unfortunately, we still "rule" even our most developed societies with our ego-selves, when our urbanised civilisation HAS to become more soul-based for it exist in harmony with its environment.
It's easy to blame it on systems seemingly founded on solely physical principles that dismiss the need for internal peace (which is why we quickly wear ourselves out). The usual argument follows that we need a shift from patriarchal systems, and it's not difficult to see why, when we see the latent harm done in what we advertise as a man's world - where different groups and giant monopolies have been vying to assert their authority down the ages.
To further that cause, we continue to develop the scariest weapons imaginable, with governments paying out millions for national security, while their citizens are going without food to pay their rent. This is happening in Britain; at home - and at work - we are atomised, staring at our screens watching politicians getting physically assaulted for airing their opinions, alongside the announcement of tougher terror laws as the terror threat is raised to severe - meaning that an attack is imminent on the shores of the United Kingdom. People are living in fear, and not just in Britain. The land grabbing opportunists and power plays between Russia and the Ukraine, the civil war in Syria and many other hot spots in the world highlight that we are not yet free as a species from the infections of the past.
So pervasive is the inclination towards violence and the mood of competitive authority, it even rears its head in the most innocuous of discussions: we discuss everything in terms of war, whether it be "price wars" between supermarkets or a TV "ratings battle" between shows. And if you can't compete, you're rendered obsolete. We turn our cities into prisons to protect huge political gatherings and spend millions doing so, yet we say we don't have enough money to look after the most vulnerable in our societies.
Paired with the mistreatment of vulnerable citizens is the systematic racism towards the minority groups, whether they be religious, people of colour or a different culture. This poison of prejudiced perception has infected the most important of our institutions sworn to serve and protect the public. Worse still, we put the responsibility for ending this racism on the shoulders of its victims, but putting minorities on clean up duty over our own mess won't solve the problem, it will exacerbate it.
Irrespective of creed, culture or colour, people don't wake up and simply decide to give up on life and subsequently misbehave. Nihilism is not inherent; it is beaten into the psyche of those to which it afflicts. Thus it falls to all of us to shoulder the consequences of people who have historically acted without inner peace to beat into us this psyche we are stuck with today.
Building bridges to love
“Race is there and it is a constant. You’re tired of hearing about it? Imagine how exhausting it is living it.”
— Jon Stewart on the Daily Show
Tyranny is tyranny, no matter who's running the domination system. Speak to any religious fundamentalist from any belief and they eerily all echo each other in their intolerance and hatred of difference. Christianity became tyrannical, the nation of Israel - when it was not itself enslaved - had tyrannical periods, even relatively gentle Buddhism has a history of violence and fascism - not to mention the depredations of atheist states in the forms of communist China and Russia.
Remembering this is a much needed jolt that we can't live on any one set of teachings. Teachers are fallible people who walk in and out of light, and we have got to keep moving on our own path. There is no settling on wisdom; it's a journey, not a destination, and the bridges we build guide us on our way. True religion is the one you hold in your heart. Faith is what the individual believes, and not what is forced upon you by any other.
But driven by the ego (or by the systems of ego) no one is immune, and so we find ourselves in societies where people are chasing a constant high - of violence, of dominance, or authority over another - where you feel you have to top it with something crazier each time. This has subverted our relationships, skewed our thought processes, and even damaged the very genetics of our humanity.
When we were born into this world, we came as a dream fulfilled by two people, to give and to receive joy, and yet as a result of these systems we waste so much of it imbalanced and disconnected from our soul-self, fighting people over what we "believe" and what we think they should believe. This creates societies without a training of the heart, fosters communities with their hearts disabled to their neighbours and their loved ones.
This is why we still have a prevalent "shame culture" within families and communities, built up over previous centuries that means many victims of harm often suffer in silence - especially victims of sexual abuse. It harks back to more barbaric times, but is kept alive by the way society continues to perceive women and children. And yet the true measure of whether any working society is really civilised is in how it treats any group it perceives as a minority or as "weaker" - most notably its women.
The emergence of the social media has highlighted with almost alarming accuracy how women's voices are often stifled within society, as they were in times of ancient Greece. As you probably know (especially if you're a woman), there are a lot of terrible people saying terrible things about women on social media, and much of it goes unchecked. Some sites are now taking action to create what they describe as a "blueprint" for fighting online misogyny in the hope that others will follow. Case in point, Drew Curtis of news aggregation site Fark, announced in 2014 that the site is cracking down on misogyny in comment threads.
There are other blueprints out there that show there are people across the planet that are running their lives on different, less abusive, systems. When we look at different communities to see what blueprints they follow, one Brazilian town of women stands out sharply. The town of Noiva do Cordeiro in Brazil made the news headlines recently, a place run by women, who are not ready to give up that control to their men.
The town, whose name means Bride of the Lamb (meaning Jesus Christ), was founded in 1891 by a woman, Maria Senhorinha de Lima, after she was branded an adulteress and exiled from her home and church. Her descendants now do things a little differently. One resident summed it up in the news report by saying: "We have God in our hearts. But we don't think we need to go to church, get married in front of a priest or baptise our children. These are rules made up by men. There are lots of things that women do better than men. Our town is prettier, more organised, and far more harmonious than if men were in charge. When problems or disputes arise, we resolve them in a woman's way, trying to find consensus rather than conflict."
It seems that the ladies of Noiva do Cordeiro have attained a large measure of inner peace and it reflects in their community as a whole. It's evidence that the energies we use to transform our lives are the same ones that have the ability to transform our world. Therefore, to go back to the start of this article, any discussion on how we can achieve a more peaceful world would be incomplete without talking about personal inner peace, because we all take our first psychological baby steps within the heart and mind. Our communities are really just a joining of hearts and minds, and whatever we emanate, dark and light, is what we shall voice as a whole.
And if we believe that the road to peace starts within our own mind and life, then when we look at our world, we can see the problems arising today are due to the global systems set up by people in the past who had no inner peace. We remain infected by the disease of previously sickened centuries. But this is one bridge we truly do need to knock down, because it was not of our making. Sometimes burning our bridges can be empowering, too, offering a complete break with the past, and a chance to start anew.
Some thinkers have likened these bridges to computer pathways. The technology you're using to read this now will have an operating system, to ensure the equitable distribution of its resources. Without it, applications would be fighting over the gadget's resources, its memory, its hard drive capacity, CPU power, etc., and it would be unable to peacefully operate multiple programmes. However, with a stable OS in place, your gadget is able to seamlessly and peacefully accommodate the operation of multiple applications at the touch of a button.
Adherents to this analogy say it should apply to the world at large. Whereas today we are completely connected and interdependent, and yet don't have a smoothly running society, the conflicts we're experiencing should come as no surprise. Without a smoothly functioning operating system in place, any single program can come along and start sucking up the planet's resources - whether this be oil, water, precious metals - without feeling the need to share. This isn't advocating a "world order" or a global government, but it's a blueprint on how we should view the soul of our societies. The women of Noiva do Cordeiro have discovered their own operating system, and it obviously works for them.
One of our fundamental tasks is to figure out how to configure our own personal relationship systems to affect and not reflect the larger world, thereby ensuring that global harmony is that much closer to achieving in our lifetimes. To aligning our communities with the real soul of community, rather than its domineering ego. And there is no reason why, if we set that intention, we can't live in a more peaceful world, in a system under which we can exist more peacefully with each other. But for a harmonious world we first and foremost need to do our homework on our own lives. It starts with us.
We have a responsibility to build and maintain our bridges of love, so that we can travel back and forth to keep harmony within ourselves and with our world. If we don't have that, then our outward actions in the world can produce a lot of turmoil, as we have seen. Because we can't try fixing things while being badly unprepared. We can't be kind when we feel bad or disconnected from our source.
Even if we use kindness towards others to stop us thinking about ourselves, or put others too readily above ourselves, that kind of suffering martyrdom won't really heal any of us in the long run. This isn't about asking for repayment on kindness, it's about understanding that the payback we look for must be in the value of the service itself. We need to be inspired while inspiring others. We need to be able to take lessons and grow internally from our loving acts to others, so that it benefits us both as the giver and receiver and doesn't act as a trigger for the ego.
The bridges we build must work both ways, otherwise all we have are semblances of peace and harmony, a superficial patchwork quilt of attempts at solving our problems, when really all we're doing is covering up the systems still at work, sweeping their faults under the carpet. Then at the tiniest shakes, the cracks begin to show.
It's truer now that ever before that love will fall through society's cracks if we let it. If we allow ourselves to become a stranger to love, love will always be a stranger in our lives. However if we openly welcome love, we'll quickly discover that love is the strongest bridge we can build between us, the universe and everything in between.
Yours in love,
