My grandmother believed wholeheartedly that Life (with a capital L) is a one word philosophy - Love. When we believe in this, life will believe in us, she used to say. But WE have to believe first.
Here I share some more homespun wisdom amongst the many emails I get daily from readers sharing their true twin flame love stories.
Lisa says:
Please help, I am so confused, I met a guy on Facebook, re-met actually as we knew who the other was when we were younger, some thirty years ago. We started mailing and very quickly and unexpectedly developed intense feelings for each other, it was all consuming for both of us and we both said we couldn't stop even if we wanted to. This continued for two months, then he became ill, after this he just switched off, began acting without integrity, I still have no idea what I done, now he won't even talk to me. It was during the first two months that I discovered twin flames, I had no idea about them before this. There was no doubt in my mind, that I was connected to this man on a spiritual level and was meant to be with him, now I am beginning to doubt my feelings, what do you think? I would appreciate any advice."
If your twin flame runs from you then you know how it feels to be deeply hurt, shocked and confused, because your twin flame is seemingly deserting you and your connection. You may be left pondering how your twin flame can ignore the most profound and amazing LOVE he could ever experience. Why is he suddenly in denial when it can only cause him pain?
It seems so at odds, right? How can someone physically run away from the best thing that could ever happen to them, and opt for torment and a lesser life in comparison? And why would the universe bring to you your twin soul, with whom you will share the strongest connection possible, if not to connect?
Why, indeed. Not surprising, then, that when this happens you start to doubt everything. Are you mad or this is this some kind of punishment? Suddenly all the spiritual awareness awakened within you upon meeting your twin flame is thrown into doubt. You lose faith in everything and for a while stop believing in twin flames altogether.
Worse still, you may think he just doesn't care about you. Maybe he doesn't love you as much as you love him, after all, and it is an unrequited love. Maybe you even think that this person hates you, or thinks you aren't good enough for them.
But if this person is truly your twin flame, I can tell you the doubts you have are not real. The reason they have become a runner is because of fear, not hate: The fear of rejection or a repeat of past mistakes, the fear it is simply a trick, or the fear of surrendering himself so completely to you. These fears could have been intensified by his illness.
But have heart: This is the purpose of the runner stage. Firstly, to discover whether he/she REALLY is your twin flame, or just a karmic relationship preparing you for the real thing, and secondly, to get you both on a journey of discovery where you bond over the revelation of your fears. Taking the paths of truth, trust and transparency will bring you closer in that communication.
I don't know you or this person you speak about, but what I do know is that it is a difficult process. It may be that, as the chaser, you have to make all the effort, only to realise that he is a character you will have to write out of your story (if it was meant to happen then why not thirty years ago?) But that is where my advice ends and your life begins.
Next up, Whitney's mail asks about twin flame intimacy during separation:
I'm struggling to clarify my 'take' on TFs: Did twins just agree (before coming to earth) that 3D energy/experiences would be cleared and unconditionally forgiven? If twins are eternally bonded and always seeking each other, when they fall in love/make love with others are they connecting their twin/sacred union somehow, remaining monogamous (the 'somehow' is what I am trying to understand). It's sounds like truth bending based on 3D/earth 'rules', but if twins are breaking down the illusion of separation and duality then it seems plausible."
Before I answer your question, I have often said I am more concerned with the practical side of twin flame relationships and getting them to work in the real world. Twin flames are organic and temporal as well as spiritual because we are animals influenced by our environment - from the uplifting music we hear to the processed food we throw at our digestive systems. This is why I have also focused on our physical and psychological wellbeing when covering the topic of true love.
Naturally, I have also touched upon the metaphysical, numerical, esoteric and deeply spiritual issues of the twin flame phenomena, because these are integral to a deeper understanding. However, you shouldn't need to know the how to feel the pow, as I say in my articles about tantric sex secrets.
Importantly, though, this sudden awareness of the superordinary can cause overwhelm, and explain why we run away from it in the first place. It is a deep connection to the core of our being, and depending on how you process things organically - whether you believe this connection is a gift from God, the universe or whatever higher beliefs you choose to hold - it will hit you deep in your core.
Shocking a sleepwalking conciousness can result in not just heightened exhilaration and a jump start to our dulled senses, it can also trigger our fear and cause us to run. Not being religious or spiritual doesn't provide immunity from true love, or the sudden spiritual awakening that happens when you meet that special someone, but framing our feelings in a more physically grounded way might make the more pragmatic amongst us NOT want to run away from fear of ridicule.
We need time to accept the changes, to become aware that there IS more to life than what meets the eye. There is a whole universe out there not based on the organic, but one that illuminates from behind it, like candlelight through darkened glass. We may not CONSCIOUSLY realise this, but be assured that deep down we KNOW there is some unspecified beyond which defies all organic labels.
Ultimately, I believe there is a purpose to looking though a glass darkly - your take on twin flames should be whatever resonates with you. It has to be your individual interpretation. I have shared many theories on twin flames here, but the truth is no one really knows the science behind it for certain. We are still learning and will always be students of this phenomena.
When you are attempting to squeeze the spiritual into the organic, it is best to remember that what differentiates twin flame relationships from other relationships is a spiritual dimension. Sometimes for one to accommodate the other we have to suspend something, but whatever our indvidual Truth is, it HAS to work in partnership with the physical world.
Sometimes that may look like it is "bending" as you put it in your letter - like light appears to when it penetrates water - but really it is the science of twin flames at work, the rules of which we can theorise about forever but never really know. And in response to your mail, I think you already "know" the answer to your question. It reads more like you are sounding out your own thoughts. To try and give you a definitive answer would be MY answer not YOURS, and there are many theories out there theorising how our souls may connect before we physically meet, or how souls twinned from the same flame make love without the need for bodies.
Some experts call this "sacred intimacy" or telepathic sex. It suggests souls need sex like bodies do and it can help us get through twin separations. But the real physical pain felt during the runner stage shows that this type of spiritual connection, when separate for whatever reason, isn't often enough in the long term.
We may be connected on a higher level even if we never meet, but we need to meet on this organic level, too. Our bodies are the conduits for the energy that must join and multiply. With other partners we make love with our bodies, senses and emotions (and sometimes not even all three sadly) but we only make love with our entire body and soul with our twin flame. Due to its unique nature there is no way to experience this with someone else and so is in effect monogamous by its very nature.
Moreover, it is not breaking some spiritual monogamous convenant between souls to have had physical sex with others before or during separation, because all of these will be learning curves for us to figure out just what it is we REALLY want and thus go in search for it. This is where the "cleansing" and "clearing" process comes in.
Keep in mind that what is unconditional is the love, not the journey. Sometimes we may find our twin flame from the first, sometimes we don't - sometimes we find true love and lose it on the temporal plane all too quickly.
Moving to touch upon the briefness of life, Ashley writes the hardest question:
What are you supposed to do when your twin flame is killed suddenly? I used to be the one who'd run and he wouldn't let me go. I've never been closer to another human being. He was the love of my life. Now he's gone in a motorcycle accident. What do I do??!!"
Firstly, I am so, so sorry for your loss. This is such a difficult question to answer because there is no answer I can give you that will sufficiently help ease your pain, BUT let me emphasise that you need to have support during this difficult period.
I strongly advise seeing a grief counsellor and surrounding yourself with a select support group. It goes without saying twin flame separation under normal circumstances is as painful as grief, but when that loss is permanent on the temporal plane, the situation can seem completely hopeless.
Secondly, and though it may not seem so now, the reason the pain is so great will in time become the support to get you through your loss. For although the physical connection has gone, the spiritual connection is still there (it is eternal) and you can employ that sacred intimacy whenever you feel the loss the most.
This doesn't mean that you should lock yourself away in your mind. Part of the healing process is to get up and out and put your feet on the street. You are living for two now, you will and indeed must love again. In living and loving you celebrate his short life. Your successes will be his and your love for him will fill you always.
As to your very fair question, I can't surmise the purpose of why your physical connection was all too brief. But as difficult as it is to believe, there is one. The major reason is locked somewhere inside you. A minor one could be as a lesson to all those runners out there who read this to realise not to waste any more time. Life is beautiful. Let's live it fully. Let's live it soulfully.
On a lighter note, Amly says:
Thanks a lot lot lot lot lot for you fantastic site!! I thought I was getting crazy... until I someone did tell me I did met my twin flame... I never heard of this concept, but after having explored your site day after day, I did learn I am not getting mad at all, but I did "just" feel "twin flame love"... What an experience... Thanks for guiding me on my path thanks to your blog!!PS: I am very interested in reading your book "tantric sex secrets for twin flames", but there are only some pages on your websites. Can I buy the whole book somewhere? Thanks for helping me!!"
And finally Teresa also asks:
I am very interested in buying your book, Tantric Sex Secrets for Twin Flames but I did not see an option on your website to buy it.Can you please tell me how I can buy your book?"
Thank you both so much for your kind words and interest. I actually have a triology of books in the works including "Tantric Sex Secrets for Twin Flames". These learning guides are five years in the making and are not for sale. I am writing them foremost for myself (as it is the best way I learn) and to share with my friends. If I decide to share them fully I will do so from here (by updating and unlocking the pages) and you will be the first to know.
Read other true stories: -1 -2 -3 -4 -5 -6
Yours in love,