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“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire.”
— Aristotle
My twin flame says that a man buys a car because it's the politically correct replacement for walking around naked and showing off his natural endowment. You might find his assessment politically incorrect, but he swears it's true. Do we buy things for how it makes us feel? Ladies do, so men must do, too - but isn't that what might be a little wrong with society today?
Some would say there's an emptiness, where the real needs, the real desires aren't being met, and we're just scrambling with what our culture offers us. Our culture tells us we will find love if we buy this lipstick, or that make up and these clothes, or this car. With the combined image boost and approval of our friends, we believe the things we buy can give us everything we need and more. We give our things names, imbue them with human personalities. Remember them once it's time to let them go, and sometimes find difficulty in parting with them.
And that's why, the experts say, we do what we do. That's why we really buy what we buy. You may disagree, but many a man (and woman) buys a car for their self worth. For ego. And to be part of a movement, or the picture they see on their screen. Were it not the case, the evolution of the car would have gotten no further than more efficient versions of the Model T. There would be no other models, no other brands, and no other colours than black. This is what big business focuses on when they communicate their message to the market.
After all, what is your true motivation for why you buy things? What is your deep inner reason for doing what you do? Experts say that if you're true to yourself when you answer, then you'll understand that we don't buy just to have things. Instead, we buy for much more emotional reasons.
The reality is that men and women invest their self-worth and personal identity in the things they own - houses, cars, home-entertainment systems, clothing adorned with the logos of their favourite sports teams, and yes, even the pets they choose to own. That's why I choose to treat my pets as separate individuals within my immediate family; I don't own them in the way I don't own any of my other loved ones.
We put our personal identity into our net worth and even our weight. It's not politically correct to go around publicising either of these, but the truth is we take great pride in being a little better in both measurements than our neighbours. For a woman to know that she is a pound lighter than her social rival is often reason enough for an ego boost. Just like how a man, knowing that he has a better car than his neighbour, can satisfy his feelings of superiority. In this way, buying things becomes an emotional experience that rewards you with the greatest boost in your ego and self-worth.
Spiritually, this is a terrible message, but let's not misconstrue its meaning. Having nice things is not evil. Money is not the root of all evil. depending on the type of person you are, wealth and prosperity can be the key to a happy life. Money may not buy you extra years of life or health or more happiness, but money plays an important role in the society and money itself is a powerful energy that moves the world. You may not want money for yourself, but imagine what you could do with your wealth for the good of others? Unselfish philanthropy can have you feeling good just as much as having money.
And some believe that sending love to others in this way can increase your prosperity. Drawing on the ethos that what we focus on is what we draw to us, sometimes people bring financial hardship to themselves by dwelling on other people's financial difficulties. Rather than talking about how hard life is for people, send them compassion and light; see them getting out of their difficult situations and experiencing abundance. The positive pictures of love you send out will come back to you many times over.
Suggestions on how to do this include letting your thoughts about everyone be of their increased good. Picture everyone as successful. If you hear friends complaining of lack, remind them of what they do have. When you are around people who talk of financial problems, see if you can change the subject or help them appreciate the abundance they have already created.
Your innate desires have an influence on how your subconscious mind shapes your reality, but what a lot of people don't realise is the fact that self-image has a much more significant impact on one's reality. It's said that the subconscious mind has only one function, and that is to create your reality exactly the way you've envisioned it.
Unfortunately, most people have already created for themselves a self-image that hinders them from achieving their desires and creating for themselves their most ideal reality. People go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they really desire. They're already unwittingly sabotaging themselves, or trying to buy bigger, better things to plug in the emotional gaps they keep falling through in their lives.
This happens because we fail to see wealth and money, and the accumulation of things, as a means to a greater end, rather than the thing that gives meaning to our self. The difference might be subtle, but it's an important one. When we see money as the be-all-and-end-all, we get greedy, and we get jealous when we think others have more that we do. Warren Buffet is often quoted as saying, "Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful".
Some great thinkers are convinced that the deepest desire within each of us is to be liberated from the controlling influences of our own patterns of fear, or "physic madness". Indeed it strikes me how very afraid we modern humans are of fear. Most of the metaphors for dealing with fear are violent and angry. Maybe the fear and loathing of fear is now its own, new cultural norm? It's an important question to ask: What would you do if you weren't afraid? When you've finally give wings to that answer, then some believe you'll have found your life's purpose.
All other things - the disdain of ordinary life, the need to control others rather than be controlled, the craving for material goods as a means of security and protection against the winds of chaos - seem to be external props that serve as substitutes for the real battle, which is the one waged within the individual soul.
But spirituality studies don't serve edicts to snub worldly possessions. You don't have to give away everything you own, and go backpacking to some distant kingdom in the Himalayas where they speak Tibetan to find yourself - but cluttering your life up with things you don't need will only drag you down further into your hole. Prosperity - real prosperity - is about balance. Having money, but not being a slave to it, or to the fear of losing it. Knowing that having the latest smartphone is nice, but you can take it or leave it. It's a view of wealth that is beyond generic understanding, but will put YOU in control of your things, and not the other way around.
Becoming an instant millionaire tomorrow will not guarantee happiness, and life coaches that focus primarily on wealth creation suggest there are seven universal laws, known by ancient sages of diverse cultures and religions. Money is seen has having it's own energy, and as the laws are universal, any person of any belief can apply and use them in their lives to success. I don't necessarily adhere to all of them, but proponents of this type of wealth creation have explained them to be as below. It's believed that if you apply them everyday with confidence and perseverance and soon you will start to see results when you make money with spiritual guidance in this way. You are free to follow which ever ones make the most sense to you.
- Everything that you need to become rich is already within you. All you have to do is to externalise it. Everyone has it in their mind. But you need to make it "show" up. That is, develop that "millionaire mentality", if not, it is impossible to attract any wealth into your life. It is also important to view money as sacred source of energy. Do not despise money. If this energy is properly channelled, together with the creative harmony of the universe, your powerful positive thoughts can bring you anything you want into your life.
- Love money if you want it to love you back. This law may sound laughable, because who does not like money? Everyone likes money, don't they? Well, they may want money, but that doesn't mean they like it. Subconsciously, people may reject money due to some religious teachings although consciously they may be welcoming it. You need to love money totally and devotedly just like you devotedly love your lover. Love money without false pride and it will love you back. Do not view it as evil nor doubt its nature. Money is not dirty, but only minds that own it can dirty it. You condemn, you lose.
- Being aware of money leads to having money. Achieving financial security is a process. It means this process will accompany you in your life and by opening up your heart and mind to prosperity, you will build yourself a feeling of wealth that nobody can take it away from you. Thoughts are energy impulses with the power to materialise therefore one must know the destiny of one's life is all contained in his or her thoughts. So get used to thinking in terms of comfort, wealth and prosperity and the best will come to you. Do not despise yourself!
- Money comes into your life for a specific reason. When money comes into your life, it is subordinate to an aim, an objective or a wish. Having an aim in life is the force that drives life on; it is what gives existence a meaning and makes it sacred. It is up to you to discover this aim in your life. Wealth takes on different aspects so you need to define it clearly how you want wealth to show up in your life. From now on, define your life objective as specific as possible and stick to it until you have achieved it.
- Money must circulate freely. Money is an energy, and all energies needs to circulate, so money needs to be circulated just like blood in your body. When blood circulates freely in you, your health is excellent. So keep your money circulating; spend, rather than hoard. It's said the value of money increases when it's shared by many, and the person who gives away nothing, has nothing to give. This does not mean, however, that you shouldn't save. You need to save based on the emotion of optimism in life. People think that having savings is to prevent against "rainy days" and this is based on the emotion of pessimism, not something which is encouraged when it comes to money circulation. Do not live under constant fear. Save your money as long as it is born our of healthy positive thoughts that do not block the circulation of money or its cosmic energy.
- You have to give to receive. This is the universal principle of wealth and prosperity. You reap what you sow. Acquiring money without giving back builds up negative karma which will manifest at some stage. If you are generous, altruistic, sincere and modest, not proud or hypocritical, the universe will, in return, give you more. Giving and receiving are not just limited to material things. It can be about respect, compliments or admirations of others. So open your heart wider to give and receive more. Once you receive anything, also remember to give gratitude and thanks to the universe for the gift and be grateful for what you already have.
- Trust your intuition. Everyone has a "little voice" in them that speaks up when we are having doubts. The problem is, we have completely shut ourselves off from the "little voice" (which some believe resides in the right side of the brain). Treat the voice as your life's best friend. To consult your intuition, formulate a wish or question in your heart and then allow whatever comes to flow, preferably during a meditation process. So whenever you encounter a situation that is doubtful, ask your intuition and it will inspire and guide you through. Apply your intuition to your money making processes.
Changing our perspective of money, doesn't make it food for the soul. We can't eat money, nor can we become nourished by it if we let it dominate our thoughts and actions. There has to be a purpose behind creating wealth, and most experts believe that a spiritual purpose will provide meaning and the incentive to turn our advantages into the advantages of others, too. Some suggest the opposite view, in this sense, that we shouldn't "aim" for money, as we shouldn't "aim" at success - because the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. Adherents to this view say success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.
Knowing that there are millions of people much worse off than your situation has a positive effect on you - in that we learn to be grateful by the small joys of life. After all, in the face of poor health, money isn't everything. What is money, if you're not healthy enough to enjoy it, or make it work for the enjoyment of others? Money, and its accumulation, benefits us when it allow us to live meaningful, vital lives by taking action to overcome our handicaps.
Inspirational stories of people overcoming their handicaps abound by the thousands. From Helen Keller and Franklin Delano Roosevelt to Stevie Wonder and Stephen Hawking, the evidence is clear that physical handicaps can be overcome. In fact, I don't see people disabled in this sense; it is society that is disabled for not being able to accommodate them and our society needs to rehabilitate its attitude towards people with differing needs. It is less than fair or humane when it comes to those we label as disadvantaged.
However, those of us that are at a disadvantage when it comes to the way society perceives a handicap can teach the rest of us that there is a clear difference between the difficult and the impossible. Oscar Pistorius, the double amputee athlete known as "Blade Runner" competing in the 2012 London Olympics against his "able-bodied" counterparts knows this better than anyone. His presence at the Olympics would seem to remove one of sport's last remaining barriers, but in Pistorius's eyes barriers have never existed.
My parents didn't give me any scope to feel sorry for myself. They were just like 'go play with your brother, go climb a tree, go fall off your motorbike, do whatever you want. Don't come crying to us when you get scratched. You've got prosthetic legs - that's very nice. Your brother's going to put on his shoes. You put on your legs and off you go.' That was the kind of mentality I grew up with.
Invariably, individuals born with these challenges don't set out to accumulate money or things as status symbols, they forge ahead to make meaning out of their lives, and in doing so shine a path for the rest to follow.
And to reiterate, technically speaking, a handicap is not necessarily a physical disability, but any kind of disadvantage that makes life more difficult. Indeed, over time, I have come to realise that every person in the world has at least one bona fide handicap.
An obese person has a handicap; a person with attention-deficit disorder has a handicap; a person with a low IQ has a handicap; a person with big ears has a handicap; a person who comes from a poverty-stricken background has a handicap. A person who constantly buys things to feel better has a handicap.
Experts suggest that such handicaps can be developed after birth or can enter one's life in the form of an inherited environment. A dislikeable personality is usually a developed handicap; an abusive parent is an inherited environmental handicap.
I have handicaps. You, too, have handicaps. In fact, we probably have many handicaps. I don't know what your handicaps are, but I know you have them. Everyone you meet, in spite of how successful or how happy he or she may appear to be, has a cross to bear. No one makes it through life without experiencing the hardships caused by a handicap, and each of us is faced with choosing between three alternatives when it comes to dealing with those hardships:
- We can roll over and die, figuratively or literally.
- We can go through life in a perpetual state of anger, turning people off and virtually ensuring a life of misery and failure.
- We can make a conscious decision to expand the boundaries of our mental paradigms, take inventory of the assets that we do have, then move forward with bold action to exploit those assets to our advantage.
As thousands of inspirational stories about overcoming adversity have demonstrated, the third alternative makes the most sense to a rational individual. One thing we know for certain is that we expect God (or whatever higher power we believe in) to reshuffle the deck for us. But as Hawking once remarked at a lecture he gave at the University of Cambridge in England: "The laws may or may not have been ordained by God, but scientific determinism asserts that he does not intervene to break them."
The good news, however, is that we do have the power to make a conscious decision to play the cards we've been dealt to the best of our abilities. You are the navigator of your life. In the final analysis, it always comes down to what you do with what you have.
And chances are, you'll discover that you're probably in the same exact situation as everyone else. And you can either be happy with what you have (and there's nothing wrong in that) or you can push your boundaries, get out of your comfort zone to be be the best that you can possibly be.
You've probably thought of your most ideal reality, but you've always been held back by thoughts of, "What if?" You're afraid to pursue that ideal reality because you're constantly unsure of your own abilities, and you don't even have to be consciously doubting yourself to sabotage your own efforts (whether it be for wealth creation or anything else).
You could even be comfortable with what you already have, even though your current reality is worlds apart from your ideal reality. This mentality of stagnation and procrastination and "settling for less" is pervasive amongst most of the world's population, because they've constantly been taught to be happy with what they have.
Click here to change 6 negative habits.
But if you're not really happy with your current situation (and you can intuitively seek an answer to that one) then you - and only YOU - have the power to change to stack the cards in your favour. But only if you have the desire and the conviction to follow through on all that you desire in life, and to know that unfounded fear does not keep you safe, it holds you back.
The fear factor in living a bold life
“Fear isn't so difficult to understand. After all, weren't we all frightened as children? Nothing has changed since Little Red Riding Hood faced the big bad wolf.”
— Alfred Hitchcock
Some experts believe that fear can actually be a danger to your self-preservation, as the feeling of fear prevents you from manifesting the power within you to its full extent. a recognition of your inner strengths will find yourself developing a new power of resisting outside influences.
If you feel yourself inclined toward doing something because of someone else's influence, which in your heart you feel is not to your best interests, then you can find the strength to say no, rather than comply our of fear. You can be sure enough within yourself to not compete with your neighbour for that flashy car, if that is not what you really want.
In this way, experts suggest that by centring the focus on you, you're denying negative outside influences from having power over you.
In the same way you can call upon your inner strength for aid when you feel yourself being affected by the feelings or emotions that sweep over the majority's mind, and which have a tendency to stampede people into adopting certain ideas, or buying into certain trends. You don't have to buy that car simply because everyone else thinks they desire it, because the market tells them they do. Don't be afraid to ask yourself what you really desire, even if that means going against the public flow.
If you give into your fears, it can become the grave you bury yourself alive in. Fear can make you obey, like love, but it can't transform you, like love can - so don't make fear an option. John Lennon is quoted to have said that there are two basic motivating forces: fear and love.
When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.
But fear is dependant on us for its survival. Fear only has the power we give it; fear in itself is not "evil". Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world, but fear can be motivating, too. Without fear there would be no courage. Fear is good in small amounts, but when it is a constant, pounding companion, it cuts away at who you are and makes it hard to do what you know is right.
And if you fear what you cannot name, look at it and find a name for it. There is no answer behind you, you must turn your face forward and learn. Things are always possible. You just need to do it; put your doubt and any weaknesses aside and do what is called for to get the job done.
We can be haunted fears; but everything we bring into our lives, our own trepidation and the fears we have within ourselves is the thing that will haunt us the most. And the thing you have to fear the most is how afraid you are.
It's up to us what we do with our fears, especially fears over perceived failures. In this respect, Malcolm X said that adults could learn from the courage of children, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so "safe", and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. We are so scared of being judged that we look for every excuse to procrastinate.
So it is up to us, then, whether we let our fears make us procrastinate in life, effectively placing ourselves in a cage until all chance of using our potential is past recall or desire. Because unless we command power over our fears, it will kill everything - our mind, our heart, and our imagination.
For practical applications to combat our fears, experts suggest that, as with procrastination, the formula for dealing with fear is to just take action. Action is always better than inaction. Learn from your mistakes and do better tomorrow - the antidote to our fears is to boost our confidence and minimise negativity.
Learning how to fly
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
My twin flame persuaded me to go to judo classes last year for self-defence purposes. In those classes, my instructor taught me something that changed the way I have since thought about all challenges - physical or mental, personal or business. He taught me how to land. Landing in judo involves twisting and absorbing the impact of the fall in your leg and hip while slapping the mat with your hand. Do that, and it doesn't hurt at all.
Once I knew how to protect myself by landing right, I lost my fear of being flipped. A few weeks later - despite being such a novice - I agreed to participate in a judo tournament. And because I was no longer afraid of getting flipped, I actually won a match.
It's amazing how much self-assurance you can suddenly have when you know how to negate the risk of something that had seemed frightening. Of course, learning how to "land" is different depending on the challenge you're facing. But as long as you know how to minimise the potential "pain", you can take on almost anything.
Here's another example. My twin flame had always been frightened of flying, and it bothered him that he didn't know why. But as well as searching for the root cause, he also chose to face his fears, and took the radical decision to have flying lessons. I feared for him initially, but it helped his master his fear, and has now become a flying enthusiast.
Learning how to fall in judo and how to land a plane can give a person massive courage where once they had been apprehensive. And this confidence-building technique applies in almost any challenging situation. There are some experts in this field that believe this is so successful, they have labelled it as an antidote to fear.
Being self-confident can help you get a job, win a new client, or get other people on your side. It can help you try a new hobby, lose weight, or even get a date. By developing an antidote strategy, you can guarantee that you'll be at your best when attempting to succeed at just about anything. Here is how experts say you can put an antidote strategy to work:
- Identify the possible negative outcome of the challenge. A lot of things you could do that might help you become more successful are risky. Let's say you've been working on a new project idea. And to show your boss how creative and innovative you are, you want to present the idea at the company's next staff meeting. But you're afraid. So step one of your antidote strategy is to determine exactly what it is that you are afraid of. Will you feel stupid if your idea is rejected? Will you be disappointed? Will you be embarrassed?
- Create or find a way to prevent that negative result. Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Do some research. Chances are many other people have struggled with the same type of challenge and have come up with a good way to deal with it. Some experts suggest a method similar to the one comedians use when they bomb on stage: self-deprecation. If your new project idea is ridiculed by your boss and co-workers, brush it off. You really can win people over by being humble - maybe even getting a laugh. So just smile and say something like, "You're right. I guess that wasn't one of my brighter ideas. But I've got more. You'll be hearing from me again."
Likewise, when Peter Michael Marino wrote a disastrous West End flop, he turned the debacle into a one-man comedy show. After endlessly recounting anecdotes to friends, he realised he had a story to tell.
I hope that this show gives other artists, or anybody who has any sort of dream or goal, the courage to know that you can do it. If it fails, you can get back up again and you can turn your rotten tomatoes into bloody marys.
No matter how scary the challenge you are faced with, remind yourself that you have nothing to fear. You are prepared. If the worst happens, you have an antidote. In this way you block the negative attitude that feeds your fears.
Some believe the years of negative conditioning within the average person's mind is responsible for a majority of the world's poor and unsuccessful. This conditioning is detrimental to the acquirement of our desires, because some believe it prevents us from accessing the part of the mind that is receptive to forces seemingly beyond our comprehension.
Click here to rewire your mindset for success!
As human beings, we operate daily reflecting a wide range of emotions with a multitude of motivations fuelling our behaviours. All too often, we react emotionally to what others say or do. If our reactions are preceded by the emotions of fear, destructive anger, or sadness, we forfeit our ability to act with personal power and effectiveness in lieu of a knee-jerk response.
This reaction is all too often sourced in fear and low self-esteem. We may focus on what's wrong with us and our lives, fear being controlled, hurt, or taken advantage of. We may overlook the many things we have in our lives for which we should rightly be grateful, doubt our ability to thrive and access the abundance we see all around us in the world, reacting instead from the concern of scarcity and the expectation of failure, hurt, and disappointment.
We may see ourselves in competition for the world's resources and the love and attention of others rather than realising that there is more than enough of all that is good to go around. We forget that we manifest what we expect, rather than needing to compete for limited resources.
And the news from around our world doesn't help, when we read of women in Russia on trial for protesting in a church, innocent cinema-goers shot dead while watching a Batman film in America. What makes it more perverse is that somehow the killings might have raised the film's profile, although reports claim that sales are not as good as pre-release forecasts predicted after the opening was overshadowed by the Denver shootings.
Meanwhile, rising food prices, the growing population and environmental concerns are just a few issues that have organisations - including the United Nations and the government - worrying about how we will feed ourselves in the future. Even in the world of nature, once socially divided dolphins have begun to unite to search for new food sources, while increasing research seems to suggest that human activity is causing the Earth to warm. We are breaking butterflies on a wheel, and it feels like we need to reinvent ourselves - or remember who we are.
Whenever we forget that we are magnificent beings and that there is plenty of wealth, happiness, fun, and fulfilment to go around, we might feel the need to protect ourselves from what we perceive to be a dangerous world. We likewise tend to forget that others operate from the same lacking self-confidence, scarcity of gratitude, and deficient self-love that we often do.
So, whenever two or more individuals see themselves as not good enough to tap into the world's abundance and get all their needs met from a physical, social, mental, and emotional perspective, conflicts are likely to arise. The result is broken relationships, strained communication, emotional pain, struggle, and suffering. All of these are needless and optional for those who realise their ability to detach from the struggle and master their emotional response.
Expanding our human horizons
When we stop to realise that everyone else suffers from the same self-doubt and fear of being dominated and cheated out of getting their fair share of love, fun, money, possessions, and security, we can break the vicious cycle of endless competition and continual striving for domination. We can realise that cooperation and communication is more effective in producing harmony than competition and a focus on self-interest based on fear.
We can intentionally choose to trust that others are doing the best they know how to do based upon how they see the world. We can assume that they act from good intentions, even when we fear the opposite. We can hold them as worthy, competent, loving, good natured and capable of creating win-win relationships rather than fearing them as hateful, ill meaning, incompetent, unworthy, selfish opponents.
When we decide to champion others by looking for the best in them and interact with them out of an attitude of gratitude for their gifts, strengths, and positive qualities, in such as manner that they are clear that we hold them as intrinsically good and worthy of our love and respect, we provide for them a new and exciting opportunity for them to show up for us in this manner. Our decision to hold others as great (because they really are when we strip away their anger, fears, and insecurities) allows them the freedom to rise to our expectations.
By operating from love and gratitude for the wisdom and empathy we develop as a result of our interactions with others, we see their mistakes as temporary indiscretions producing valuable lessons from which to learn and grow rather than reflections of a fundamentally defective being.
Experts suggest that the key to bringing out the best in others is non-attachment. When we realise that we have total control over our response to any situation, and we give up our right to be invalidated by others or control them, we will possess a new found freedom that allows us to exit the drama of conflict in favour of understanding, compassion, and love.
Thus, it is more beneficial to us if we make a concious choice to decide to be grateful for the challenges we will encounter in all stages of our lives. See the problems that arise as opportunities for your personal development. Look for these challenges as you go about your day, be grateful when you encounter them, and seek out the gifts awaiting your discovery. When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
An exercise suggested by the experts to expand our gratitude and shift our reactive nature is provided below for those of us that need help in the way we see our challenges - especially in our relationship with others. Indeed, the greatest lesson we can learn is tolerance. Thanks to modern technology the world is getting as small as a submarine, where if you don't get on with someone, you still have to try your hardest.
- Keep a daily journal and list all the things you have decided to be grateful for in your life.
- In your daily journal, record each time you fail to express gratitude for a challenging situation.
- Catch yourself reacting emotionally to what someone says or does and shift your perception in that moment to appreciate the learning experience at hand.
- In your daily life, who are you not holding as magnificent?
- How can you champion their excellence and express gratitude for the opportunity to grow in love and wisdom that they are gifting you instead of reacting with anger, sadness, or fear?
- Who are you seeking to control or avoid being controlled by?
- Will you take on the practice of non-attachment in your relationship with them by creating space for them to be who they are? Do this for 30 days and record in your journal how your interactions with them evolve. Make note of something that you can be grateful for in each situation.
Ultimately, all successful people men and women are big dreamers. The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. It has been said that the oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Thus are dreams the seedlings of realities.
People who have made their lives a success have imagined what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they worked every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose - by using their fears and handicaps as motivation to be the best they can possibly be.
They found their passions, and followed them, by expanding their knowledge and their perspective about the world and they people they share it with. People comfortable in their success do not look down on others, or judge others, but afford the benefit of good intent to everyone. They also have the strength to not allow the judgement of others affect them. This self-confidence comes from their inner strength.
Keep in mind that a lack of confidence prevents many people from achieving their full potential and reaching their goals. But by utilising a few practical tips, and with your safety net in place, you'll have a winning edge - the inner strength to take a chance and boldly "take off" - because you know that it's only your fear that keeps you chained from getting to higher ground.
The decision is yours to make
“It's amazing what you can accomplish if you simply refuse to quit.”
— Mickie Kent
However, the day will come where, frustrated beyond belief, you'll ready to quit. At that moment, you'll be left with two choices - to quit or to carry on and persevere through the struggles. Frankly, there is only one real option. You could spend the rest of your life wondering about "what could have been", or you can continue down the path of making your dream a reality. The decision is yours.
Over the last four decades of her life, my mother's health had been on a gradual decline. Poor lifestyle decisions and a paucity of knowledge about healthy living had taken their toll. She also spent those years putting off care of herself, to care for her loved ones. But since she retired, with my help, she's been busy making changes.
Every week when I visit she seems to have added another healthy habit to her daily routine. She walks outside. She has a treadmill for wintertime.
Her diet has improved. There are more whole foods prepared for every meal when I'm there. She mixes spinach into mashed sweet potatoes. She makes real fruit smoothies for breakfast. And she's constantly watching cooking shows and scouring the web for healthy recipes. Because what else is she going to do? Quit?
Coffee v smoothies: Which is better for you?
What good would it do for her to just give up? What would happen if she didn't even try to eat a little better or exercise a little more? That would only hasten her decline. And this is the same in my life, and my own struggles. Achieving your goals and making progress in any area of life is hard. But what else are you going to do? Quit? Give up your self-reliance and depend on others?
Or would you rather persevere through the dips and overcome the obstacles that are in your way until you achieve the success you deserve? Because quitting only makes things worse. It might make things feel easier in the short-term, but, in the long run, quitting is the worst thing you can do.At Christmas time in 1944, while millions of men and women slept safe and sound in their beds in North America, thousands of young men faced the toughest task of their lives in the Battle of the Bulge. It was the largest and bloodiest battle fought by American soldiers in World War II.
They had stormed the beaches at Normandy. They had marched over 200 miles in the race to Berlin. They lost friends, scores of friends. And now, in the dead of winter, deep in the Ardennes forest, caught by surprise (at Christmas time no less), they were being attacked and pushed back like never before. It would have been easier in the short-term not to fight, to retreat, to surrender, but that would only have made things worse for them, their fellow soldiers, and the entire war effort.
Instead, despite freezing in their foxholes day and night, wearing the same clothing for weeks on end, and being denied access to the basic elements of humanity, these young men dug in and took back the line. They sacrificed more than you or I will ever be asked to give, because they knew that quitting was not an option. They were beyond the point of no return. Just as you are past the point of no return in your journey to success when you face your fears, and let yourself take off to go boldly into your own personal mission.
For example, if you smoke, but struggle to stop, are you just going to give in to the addiction until it kills you? Are you going to quit on quitting? No, of course not. Today you're going to go two hours and fifteen minutes between cigarettes. Tomorrow, two hours and twenty-five minutes between puffs. And so on and so on until you are going days, weeks, months, and years without lighting up.
If you're trying to lose 25 pounds but progress is slow, what are you going to do? Quit? Remain overweight and unhealthy? Start eating more and exercising less? No, of course not, that will only make it worse. If you fall off track today, then you're just going to start again tomorrow.
If you're building a new business, yes, it's hard. Results won't come overnight. But what else are you going to do? Quit? Go back to the job you hate, working for a boss that doesn't appreciate your efforts and for a company that doesn't make a real difference in the world? No, of course not. You're going to review your vision, put your energy into identifying the right solution for your chosen marketplace, and spend time on improving your offer until it connects with more and more of the people you are dedicated to helping.
Deep down you know that giving up on trying to quit smoking would make today easier, but your long-term health would suffer. Quitting your health and fitness program to sit on the couch will give you pleasure today, but will make your later years more difficult and full of complications. And quitting on building your own business would reduce your stress this week but would lead to constant worry about the kind of life you'll live during your retirement.
When the only other option is quitting - and thereby making things worse - then you have no other choice but to soldier on. Because what else are you going to do? Quit? No. You can quit when you're dead. For now, it's time to get out there and finish this journey. As you persevere, remember all bad times come to an end.
With this in mind, experts say we are left with a powerful choice. To quit or to carry on. If we quit, we only make the ending worse. If we carry on, we will feel the situation getting harder at first. However, everyday that you make progress, things will get better and the future will become brighter.
Persevere through the dips, and you'll come out stronger on the other side. If you are dealing with a divorce, never forget that there will soon be better days. You will fall in love again. If you struggle financially, understand that there are proven methods to getting out of debt and getting back on track. If you are trying to overcome health problems, know that there are solutions and that there is support out there for you. You can succeed. You can take control of your future.
As I always like to say to myself, to boost my confidence when things get hard: The harder you try, the higher you'll fly.
Yours in love,
