Love Believes in You

I had a lazy time during the Easter holidays this year. Spending it at my parents meant that my twin flame and I could chill while my mother and mother-in-law handled the celebrations.

And it reminded me of the song "People" that Barbra Streisand sings in the 1968 film "Funny Girl" (which aired during the seasonal break) where it says:

People who need people/Are the luckiest people in the world

In my mother's sewing room this morning, Streisand's voice kept popping into my head as I drank my first coffee of the day. Mum-made, in the time honoured tradition of her clan. Sweetened with organic maple syrup, whitened with coconut cream, with a dash of cinnamon added for taste, it was absolutely divine - but more so because it was made by her loving hands.

None of us are strangers to that feeling of security a loving environment can bring, even those of us unfortunate enough never to have experienced it, and carry its absence around with us for the rest of our lives.

In that quiet me-moment, I did what I always do at the start of each day, gave thanks for my blessings, and made a mental note to be even more appreciative of the gifts bestowed upon me.

Sipping my morning drink, I thought that one of my most important gifts was the one my mother had given to me: The gift of always believing in yourself.

After all, what really sets the success stories apart from the folks who struggle is belief in themselves. The question is, will you have the same never quit attitude? Will you be able to overcome the doubts that others are trying to impose on you?

Few success stories occur because the person is a super-genius. Almost all success stories are based on perseverance and a commitment and consistency to doing the work and believing in themselves. The only thing exceptional about successful people is their ability to do the work. As Thomas Edison once said,

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.

Usually, when you get started on an idea, there are always going to be what I call, dips. That's where you struggle, and that's where some people do give up. And if you find you don't have a passion for what you're doing, then you should give it up.

Cut your losses and move on. Treat the dip as a sign that what you're currently doing is not for you. Yes, that's right. Sometimes people should give up, because what they are offering isn't right, or it's not their passion.

Know this: But with a good idea and passion, you'll get through that dip.

In so far as you believe in yourself.

Never let the limiting beliefs of others get in the way of your success. Instead, stick to your beliefs, persevere, and never give up on something that you know is right for you.

Go for it; that's all you can do when no one else believes in you.

Criticism can be profitable

Unfortunately, one of the most surprising and disappointing things about reaching an important goal is that many people won't share your happiness when they hear about it. Some will even criticise your achievement.

Nevertheless, what's important, I've found, is not the criticism itself but how I react to it. Praise motivates me to do more of what I'm doing. Criticism - which used to make me want to quit - spurs me to examine what I'm doing and see if I can do it better. In this way you can profit from it.

To illustrate further: Feedback is very useful for telling us where we are. Without feedback we couldn't have results. We couldn't keep score. We wouldn't know if we were getting better or worse. Just as salespeople need feedback on what's selling and leaders need feedback on how they are perceived by their subordinates, we all need feedback to see where we are, where we need to go, and to measure our progress.

Acknowledge, however, that negative feedback can be employed by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at least remind us of them - and our reaction is rarely positive. Worst of all, negative feedback can sometimes shut us down. We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out.

Now I was lucky in that mum taught me strong self-belief, that I had the power and skills to be anything I wanted to be, but some of us are not that lucky. Some of our mothers - and fathers - will have taught us as children that we are not good at certain things, and so find ourselves in adulthood just living out the expectations we have chosen to believe.

Don't waste your years thinking you can't do something on the say-so of others. This is the the first thing to say about profiting from criticism. Recognise that a negative comment about you or your abilities cannot damage you unless you let it.

If you have convinced yourself in this way, don't blame your mother, or whoever it happens to be that put these thoughts into your head. Blame yourself. Because you are the one who keeps telling yourself that you can't do something. You must realise that as long as you keep saying that, it is going to be true.

Here are some useful techniques for profiting from criticism.

1. Remember that criticism is the price of success. As writer Elbert Hubbard said, "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." So if you do something, you're going to be subject to criticism. Presidents get criticised. Madonna gets criticised. Even Mother Theresa was criticised. The more success you have, the more criticism you will engender. Some of it will be helpful. Most of it will be useless. But don't be afraid of it. It won't kill you. It will only make you stronger.
2. Dump your failure-support group. This group includes jealous friends, professional enemies, and habitual critics. These people get their kicks from kicking you when you are up. They want you to be down where they are. Don't go there. Just ignore them.
3. If you can't ignore your critics, frame your responses strategically. Sometimes, you won't be able to ignore your critics - if, for example the criticism is coming from your boss or your family. That's when you need to stay calm and respond strategically. See if you can agree in part to the comments made, and point out areas with which you don't agree. Experts call this technique clouding. It involves a token agreement with a critic. It is used when criticism is neither constructive nor accurate. You cloud by agreeing in part, probability, or principle.
4. Take helpful criticism seriously. Helpful criticism is sometimes harsh but it's always well intended. It's not hard to identify it. The hard thing is to accept that it is helpful and use it to improve yourself. Constructive criticism is not negative, so be enthusiastic about it. Remember, you are very fortunate if you receive it. Encourage others to offer constructive criticism.
5. Thank your critics. I make it a habit to send a personal thank you to anyone whose criticism has helped me do better work.
6. Solicit criticism - from people you respect - while there is plenty of time to make changes. One of the most successful publishers I know does this regularly. When considering the launch of a new product, he sends a memo to a small group of more experienced publishers explaining his concept and asking them to poke holes in it. By getting their criticism early, he doesn't feel its sting. After all, it's not his baby that is being criticised. It's just an idea. And ideas, as we all know, are not worth anything until they are put into action. Another benefit - and this is a big one - is that it saves him time and frustration. By getting input on an idea before he's done a lot of work on it, it is much easier for him to make changes.

Only love can help you change

People will always tell us what to do, and that is not always a bad thing. But although people need other people, they need their dreams, too. We mustn't forget that love must be the driving force behind our dreams, and that without its strong foundations, we would all fall. It is the incentive we need to change to bring our dreams to life.

Effectively to change our lives for the better we need to examine our ideals. Take judging yourself and others out of your life and watch what happens! Forgiveness is not only a gift we give to others. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. Don't let past mistakes be a pebble underfoot to stop you getting to the place you want to go.

To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations and dreams, our possibilities become limitless. Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. When you don't have joy, you don't have the strength or energy to accomplish your purpose.

However, remember that happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued too vigorously, is always just beyond your grasp, but which sometimes, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you - as it did to me this morning as I drank my coffee and gave thanks for being so blessed. Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more. Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.

Eventually, we all come to realise that if the only prayer we said in our whole life was a simple thank you, it would suffice. Gratitude consists of being more aware of what you have, than what you don't.

Consider this: When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us. A person is limited according to his or her physical attachment to things. It doesn't matter what you have or what you don't have - it matters only how easily you can let go of the unnecessary weights that hold you down in life.

Unfortunately, life is already filled with those who want to bring you down. If you insist on always looking back, I hope it's worth missing what could be right in front of you. Life is too short to wake up in the mornings with regrets. So love the ones who treat you right, forget the ones who don’t. Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher, because the only way in life should be up.

Never doubt that challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

The first step before anyone else in the world believes it, is that you have to believe it. One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.

Divinity, the universe - call it what you will - is in us. People see the divine every day, they just don't recognise it. But keep in mind that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance take it, if it changes your life, then let it. No one said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults. Because love believe in you.

Even at the most darkest point in your life, never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself - "How did I get through all of that?"

Simply yours in love,