Finding the Spirit of Love

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
— Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180)

Human beings have debated the ultimate purpose of life throughout recorded history. If one wanted to participate in this debate, he or she could make a persuasive argument that the ultimate purpose of life is to search for truth. Search rather than find, because to find truth in the broadest sense of the word would mean that you would have to know everything, and many stipulate that omniscience and human beings don't match up too well.

Arguably this opinion holds a lot of water when we are faced with natural disasters - and with a series of post-apocalyptic scenes filling the year of 2012, at no time have we been more keenly reminded how precious life is. Those affected by hurricanes, or at the mercy of the elements will know that without power, water and even our homes, we can feel very small indeed. And as our hearts go out to everyone in the living community during times of crisis, we also search for the truth to it all.

Today, science tells us that our dramatic weather shifts are neither acts of the wrathful gods, nor a force of nature unto itself; rather these are our own actions coming back on us. This is more complex than a "reap what you sow" mentality, because obviously the stranded victims of Hurricane Sandy, for example, are not directly to blame - but if we are to look at the truth of climate shifts, then some say humans as a species must hold themselves accountable.

Who knows what we've done to the climate; in how many places did we cut down too many trees, in how many years of accumulation how many chemicals did we let loose into the atmosphere to trigger this response? Thus it's been said, we are punishing ourselves - as a repercussion of living an unconscious lifestyle with our beautiful planet - and nature is indifferent to terms of "innocent" and "guilty". Whatever the results of our past actions in previous generations, we all suffer the consequences.

In this context, it's safe to say that 2012 has been a period of soul-searching for many of us. Some believe that when the energy in the world is that of chaos and destruction, nature responds in kind - with the purpose to clear out that energy and allow a new start from a cleaner slate. Proponents of such beliefs say that the way we've been acting for generations has not been aligned, or conducive with peace and harmony, and is causing a disruptive energy, making it hard for many people to stay focused on one thing or another during such times.

Astrologers are echoing this, too, with talk of Mercury in retrograde lending a helping hand. They believe this retrograde is all about sudden change and the challenges it brings, and they endorse that, at times like this, it's worthwhile to take care of yourself, to catch up and prepare for what is next on your agenda - because whatever challenges do come to pass, they too shall pass. And getting ready to ignite your power, in alignment with your higher purpose, when the time is right, is all about empowerment and learning to act - and react - to events on your own terms.

Astrologers believe this will be enhanced when coupled with the total solar eclipse on the 13th and 14th of November in 2012. Total solar eclipses are thought to be the most powerful transit we can experience. They are said to herald major endings and beginnings, exposing our deepest desires, our worst fears, and our cosmic destiny.

Embrace new beginnings

We can get very emotional at goodbyes, even if it doesn't mean that our lives will be incredibly different, because all goodbyes are an ending of sorts, like the closing of a door. Experts suggest that if you've ever found it hard to let go of an experience, person or place, then you can try their top 3 tips for new beginnings.

1. Don't worry! I was told when I was younger not to worry and when I asked why, the answer was: "If something is happening that is within your control, then either accept it or make the decision to change it. If you're in control, there is no reason to worry. On the other hand, if something is outside of your control and you do not have the ability to change it, there's also no reason to worry."

   Either way, when something is happening in your life, experts tells us it's happening for a reason - because of a decision you've made, or because you are being forced to change and do something new. Worrying will never bring you any good so look at your situation for what it is and embrace it into your life rather than creating unwanted stress or anxiety.

2. Manage your mind. This goes along with the first point. Once you have stopped worrying about what is inevitably happening in your life, start filling your mind with positive thoughts. Change and new chapters of life means new experiences and growth. Without change, we could not change. So alter your perspective, look at your new beginning from the eyes of someone who has wanted this their whole life, and focus on all the great things that could come of it.
3. Appreciate the past. When we embrace new stages of our lives it doesn't have to be sad. It doesn't mean we have to forget all the times we had together and memories we created. Instead, be thankful, happy and grateful for what you've experienced (yes, even any tough times) because it has gotten you to where you are right now. Smile from what you've learned along the road and for the strength and knowledge you've gained. Be proud of things you've accomplished and be excited to tackle something new as it will help you develop and become wiser.

Remember you have the power to control your outcomes and how you feel every single day, by collecting "amazing moments". So, go out and make spice up every day with an amazing moment, and be grateful for where you are right now and where you're going to be tomorrow, next year and in twenty years from now.

Thus, it is at such testing times experts recommend we dial out the noise of the world listen to our inner voice. Search for your hidden strengths and your truth - what is truth for you, when are you ready to take your life to the next level? We must keep in mind, too, that we need to "own" all of our being, even what some call "our dark side" as it holds our untapped potential.

We need to embrace our shadow side, and express it, so it has a voice, and thus give power to all of our self. Even if there are sides of our personality we don't want to shout about, we need to acknowledge all parts of our being so that you can answer how you define your individuality, what you want to achieve in the world, how you make things happen to make your cosmic destiny and future vision come true.

What is your future vision? This is where you see yourself in the future, your spirituality, and your beliefs. Will you be busy getting inspired, and uplifting and inspiring others with your passion? Will you be living from your heart? If so, what are your heart's desires? Experts in this field say we shouldn't settle for less than we desire - we should go after our dreams.

Read how to discover your passion.

Therefore during challenging times, you need to let challenges flow through you. Ride the evolutionary growth wave, and focus on what you can do to overcome, not what you fear will overcome you. Discover your emotional truth, and embrace your dark side - you must love both your dark and light nature to create wholeness, balance and to tap in to your hidden strength, power and resources. Release the past and what no longer serves your highest good.

This can involve setting boundaries with others, with yourself, evaluating relationships - who do you trust, who can you trust, do you trust yourself? It's seen as good time to take a look at things, to clearing karma in relationships and in your life.

Do you know where you're going to?

In the overwhelming fast pace of modern life, experts say it's all too easy to get lost in the fog of doing, rather than being. By slipping your life into mindless automatic drift, you could end up in unhappy, unplanned places, regretfully wondering how you got there. Instead, take these recommended simple steps to awaken your life journey.

1. Play with the possible: Your imagination can be used as a mental escape hatch. Rather than trying to grit your teeth and get through an unhappy present, play with thoughts of what's possible in a happy future. There are several inspirational stories where former prisoners of war, used their imagination to mentally escape from their cramped and filthy holding cells. They vividly imagined being reunited with their families, going fishing, starting their own business, winning at golf. Not only did they manage to hold onto their sanity, in many cases they went on to actually enjoy the previously imagined experiences in the future.
2. Choose wisely: Which one of your possible futures would give you the greatest pleasure? Do you have the skills and the resources to achieve this possible future? You must choose which destination you will pursue. Remember that choice means that you decide where you are going to focus your attention and energy. Do not get caught up in the foggy world of indecision or you will delay focusing your attention on taking specific action.
3. Back to the future: While making life decisions can be difficult, you must look at future consequences as objectively as possible, weighing all the present facts. These decisions are highly personal and will impact significantly on your future and that of your loved ones. Putting off tough decision making will not take you closer to your desired future, only being honest about your feelings and logical about the possible future consequences will. The best way to break free of this indecision is to:
   • Project the future consequences of not making a decision within a set time frame.
   • Project the future consequences of the two possible choices that are most attractive to you.
   • Choose the outcome with the greatest benefits both immediate and long term, with the fewest drawbacks.

Times like these are very powerful periods in our lives. We want to forgive ourselves and others and release all resentment, so that we feel lighter and freer - not necessarily because we want to keep those people in our life - but so that we feel better and can move forward. Emotional cleansing is all about new beginnings and fresh starts - it is a good opportunity to re-evaluate (and revalidate) relationships and your life, and see how things are working for you. Some experts describe this as an expansion of conciousness.

Astrologers say that this particular time is also a time of Pluto, which is about power, and shifting power, which is very clear when we look at the world today. Some believe that America is losing its economic dominance, the superpower is loaded with debt, much of it now owned by China. While others worry that China, growing in strength and having a larger say in the direction the world takes, will regress human evolution.

Martin Jacques, writing for the BBC, has suggested in his articles that the way Chinese people see the world is inherently racist, and China is absent of democracy. Chinese politicians in power try to devalue the individual in favour of the political party, which conversely leaves the country's governing power in the hands of closeted individuals behind closed doors. Meanwhile the cost of China's growth to the ecological system is well documented. While we are trying to grow out of these medieval traits, many fear Chinese dominance could push us backwards into the Dark Ages once more.

However, some political theorists say that if Barack Obama wins a second term to the presidency of the United States in 2012, then he will bring about a new economic force, which will change everything about the way the American economy works. Some say it will also reshape the world's monetary flows, for at least the next 50 years.

It will make millions of Americans vastly wealthier, and improve the standard of living across the entire American nation. It will give him an unprecedented public mandate. Some conspiracy theorists even believe Obama will use this power to reshape the country, to possibly redraw the rules that govern the presidency and seek a "third term".

Are conspiracy theories destroying democracy?

Naturally, the presidential elections in America have been filled with such theories and scaremongering, highlighting how, increasingly, Americans live in their own separate liberal and conservative worlds, listening to different media, barely conversing. And instead of steering the ship of governance, it seems the crew are throwing punches. The more America has become polarised, and we have watched it from the outside, the more it feels like Americans have been searching for their truth, too.

No matter where you live or what you think about the American election or its candidates, the conclusion of the presidential race has meaning for us all - because we can use it as impetus to help us in our own lives when we become divided and polarised. It starts with adding value. If you add value to the world and help solve one another's problems, you can build a great life and even rebuild a great country. There's virtually no limit to the positive results you can achieve when you make service to others your overriding priority.

Although emotionally experts suggest we should surrender during challenging times, and try to stay detached, making tough choices should not be avoided. In our own lives, we need to be the power and own our power - but at the same time create a balance with others. We don't want to run roughshod over others, this will unconsciously create imbalance in our lives; we want to have relationships with others with the understanding that power brings responsibility. Thus, China and its growing influence, for better or worse, will have to learn it's not alone in the world - it's not bigger than the world - and that the future is not about dominance, but about partnerships.

When the leading countries of the world bully each other and anyone that disagrees with them, it sets a terrible example. Everyday we teach our children that bullying is wrong. We tell then not to be mean, not to pick on other kids, not to tell lies or spread gossip, not to belittle or ostracise others.

What real people do (and real leaders of real superpower nations do) is to add value, solve problems, and help one another. Just look at the response to Hurricane Sandy. The people along the Eastern Seaboard united, and were on the streets helping one another. No one cared who the other person was voting for in their upcoming election. Instead, it was all about lending a helping hand and working together.

A spiritual parable: Life is like a cup of coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savour the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

We need to realise that in the pecking order of things, we are not a civilisation or nation first; we are foremost individual human beings, and a family member of the living community on this planet - which includes the planet herself. We should never forget that order of importance. And there is one small statement that captures the essence of the human spirit, to persevere. Our willingness to endure can be the difference between success and failure. That's the living community I choose to be a part of, and it's a choice that anyone, anywhere, can and must make for themselves.

There is only one ruler of your dreams - and that is you. What you do with your dreams is up to you and YOU alone. No world ruler controls whether you live your life fully to the existence of your dreams. No political party dictates whether you should put adding value to the world above all else. Those choices are yours, and yours alone to make. You cannot allow external factors to change your internal vision. If you can weather the storm, you can still make your life into anything you want it to be.

And the American public, too, can transcend their divisions, and choose to come together and add value, rather than involve themselves in the partisan politics tearing their country apart. No one sets limits on how much value you can add to the world. No one but you. And because we are all in this together, it must be about giving and receiving, not bullying and taking. Therefore, as much as we listen to our self, we need to listen to other people. too.

Challenging times can also be about re-evaluating other people's approaches to life, and this can create a win-win situation, because we can all be right. I can be right as I'm doing what's right for me, you are right because you're doing what's right for you - and it is this that creates powerful coalitions and relationships. This is what really feeds our spirit, and this is why some experts suggest that the more difficulties we face, the more we should turn to love. Loving the things you desire draws them to you; when you love them, you love life. Life was meant to be lived in freedom, truth, joy - and as our greatest adventure.

Searching for your truth

When you declare your desires, you announce that you choose all the good that life has to offer, because your desires are the stuff of life. However, experts also recommend if you're trying to make something work and it's not flowing, to let go and surrender. When you're stuck in a tricky situation, you may find yourself momentarily in "escape mode"; if so, experts emphasise that at times like these you should be okay with that, too - you can turn it into taking a step back to view the bigger picture. But look at where else in your life you tend to escape from, and your patterns around that, as well, to see if you are always trying to escape from your problems, rather than analysing them from a distance.

In a way, this type of detaching oneself from a situation to search for truth is purposeful as it can help us move on, and life is likely to flow more easily after such energies settle down, to bring opportunities for progress that we might have missed in the heat of the moment. For many, this concept is difficult to comprehend because "detachment" is often associated with terms like "uncaring", "cold", "indifferent" and other "negative" or non-serving connotations. In the metaphysical sense, however, experts say the truth is quite the contrary.

To be detached in any given situation doesn't mean that we don't care about the end result. It simply means that our overall happiness is no longer dependent upon how it all ends. It means that the rest of our day can't be ruined by a single event. For example, those individuals that read this in the future, will be privy to whether Obama reaches a second term of presidency or not, and will know that whatever the outcome, tomorrow is another day. Thus, higher consciousness is rooted in the present moment - or what some term as the Now - and detachment is one of the tools that we can use to get us there. When chaotic events are swirling around us, detachment can bring us peace and calmness when all else fails. Metaphysically, detachment is our way of observing the chaos and not reacting to it.

Adherents to this method believe that detachment keeps us rooted in the Now. Whether the event is happening to us or to someone we care to, detachment keeps us centred and sane in an insane world. There is no law that says we have to invest an emotion in every single event that occurs that happens to disagree with our belief system. The truth is that our brains have been trained to react, over years and years and years of programming, to anything to which our belief system disagrees. We react, or show resistance, in the external world according to a belief system completely created by past experience.

Rewire your mindset for success.

Because it is rooted in the past, this belief system has no purpose whatsoever in the present moment - no matter what is happening - and, therefore, neither do the reactions. Experts say this is all good news. External cause/reaction has a strong metaphysical snowball effect that occurs in mere seconds. Consider the numerous opportunities we are given each day to react to challenging situations. If we act upon each opportunity with fear, we only confirm ourselves to more of the same, day after day. We can stop this cycle by detaching ourselves, and retraining ourselves to look at this another way.

To practice detachment, experts say we should start with trivial events and work your way up. The next time you feel even the slightest irritation (the start of a reaction), use it as a signal that reminds you to be present. Step back from it and imagine yourself transparent to the cause of the irritation. Let it pass through you. Imagine this without feeling a reaction. This is detachment.

For example, invariably on the subject of true love, I have been asked the question many times: "How do I know if it is true love or not?" And my answer is that first and foremost the relationship must be based on truth. So practise detachment. It's a very hard thing to do (and I speak from experience), especially when it comes to relationships, but if we step back and take a long, hard look at where we are in our present love life - we'll discover that we had the answer to that question all along.

To liberate our consciousness, we simply must be rooted in the present moment - and detachment is a good method for doing just that. Even if the whole world seems to go insane, you have a responsibility to yourself to perpetually search for truth. When people all around you are losing their heads, the surest way to keep yours is to be vigilant about basing your actions on truth.

Be critical in thought

All actions, regardless of their nature, produce results. A bank robber gets results. An individual who is inconsiderate and rude gets results. But these aren't the kind of results most of us are after. What we want are positive results, and positive results tend to flow from truth-based actions. "Negative" results (or more accurately, those which don't serve us), on the other hand, tend to flow from actions based on falsehoods or delusions.

It's often been said that the truth is the best friend you will ever have, because, unlike people, it will never desert you in your time of need. Think of truth as a compass that points the way to actions that are in your long-term best interest. This is why your search for truth must be ongoing and in conjunction with an action-oriented life. If you ever feel as though your inner source has not come through for you, experts will usually suggest that it could be because your actions have not been in accordance with truth.

Unfortunately, although the importance of truthful premises is clear, truth is not an easy proposition. For one thing, truth can sometimes make you unpopular. In extreme cases, it has even cost people their lives. Italian philosopher Giordano Bruno (burned at the stake as a heretic) and Socrates (forced to drink poison after being accused of corrupting youth by questioning tradition) are two well-known examples of this.

As a baseline, then, some believe anyone searching for truth must desire truth more than popularity. It's been often said that fools are often among the most popular people in society, which is a good reason not to allow your search for truth to be stifled by the widespread masses or distracted by the glitter of superficial role models - telling us constantly what to wear, how to look, what to do, or - worse still - who to be.

If you look at the social web, these days it may feel like a lot of people are willing to give up critical thinking in exchange for having someone else tell them what to think. For instance, when we emulate the lives of the celebrities; fidelity can feel like stupidity. But celebrities can also show us the danger of ego. It's like a drug you can't kick; a showcase of what turning into self-absorbed ego-driven beings can do to you. But this is more than superficial stuff versus life; it's about what "truth" you want to fill your life with. And in the search for it, what it tells you about yourself.

This is precisely why, some experts recommend, you must learn to question everything, especially so-called conventional wisdom. In the words attributed to Buddha, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." But, in a twist to prove the point, did the Buddha really say this?

Because I use inspiring quotations, I like to make sure that the statement I'm quoting is accurate and was actually made by the person in question. There are many quotation sites that do no fact-checking at all and that are full of inaccurate, false, and wrongly attributed quotes. Because these sites endlessly plagiarise each other, these false quotes end up all over the internet. Some Buddhists believe it's ethically problematical to pass on the message "the Buddha said such-and-such" without checking out that he actually did say that. Otherwise it's not dissimilar to gossip, although presumably better-intentioned. It's a shame that other Buddhists even join in with this trend, especially when it distorts the Buddha's teaching. Because we need to know what he really said, in order to make up our own minds whether we agree with it or not.

Although the Buddhist scriptures are vast and I can't claim to have read all of them, unless I'm mistaken, the above quote seems to be a poor paraphrase (not necessarily a false quote) of part of the Buddha's teaching to the Kalama Sutta. And assuming I'm correct, while the alleged Buddha quote says you should trust your reason and common sense, in the Kalamas the Buddha says you shouldn't trust "logical conjecture ... inference ... agreement through pondering views ... [and] probability". Collectively the Buddha's list of things you shouldn't reply on would seem to overlap totally with those the quote says we should reply upon.

Buddhists will inform us that the Buddha of course isn't saying we should jettison reason and common sense. What he's implying is that both those things can be misleading and what's ultimately the arbiter of what's true is experience. It's when you "know for yourselves" that something is true through experience, that you know it's true. (Also, we can rely on the opinion of "the wise". This doesn't mean accepting other people's opinions blindly. It means that in your experience you can come to know that certain people tend to have a clear perception of what's true and helpful in terms of spiritual practice, and so you don't have to go around making every mistake under the sun in order to establish that they are in fact mistakes.)

The alleged Buddha quote, however, displaces the role of experience in spiritual practice in favour of reason and common sense, which Buddhists would think is very questionable. It suggests learning is something that happens in the head, rather than something that is gained through living, and it allows us to dismiss anything that contradicts our prejudices (some would say common sense is often nothing other than clinging to established views).

Another distortion of the Buddha's views can be found in another quote attributable to him, "He is able who thinks he is able". Now you may agree with this sentiment, but it doesn't mean the Buddha did, or Buddhists do. In fact, Buddhists would say this is profoundly unBuddhist-like.

I'm always open to correction, but the Buddha didn't strike me as being an advocate of "positive thinking". The Buddha's actual position seemed to be more, it doesn't matter what you think you are, what is important is what you do. Naturally, most experts on positive thinking will also advocate that it needs to be coupled with inspired, positive action for our positive thoughts to manifest into reality.

Moreover of course, the Buddha encouraged the development of ethically positive thinking, which is thinking free from greed, hatred, and delusion, and imbued with wisdom and compassion. But the idea that you can do something just because you think you can is one he'd have seen as being itself delusional. And some Buddhists believe that when we look around at the world it seems self-evident that it's full of people who over-estimate their abilities. And this has been well-studied by psychologists, some of whom say we overestimate our competence, for example, meaning that too much confidence in your abilities might make you less successful.

Yet, isn't it better to over-estimate, than underestimate our abilities? And arguably, any cited studies will have examined people's pattern of overlooking their own weaknesses, when to be completely balanced, positive thinkers say we must also embrace our dark sides, and be grounded in the reality we live in - not act in avoidance of it.

Read why you shouldn't avoid reality.

Visualising reality as unchangeable, however, or untenable, or out of our control won't help us transform - it simply means we have built our walls even higher. When what we really need is a leg-up to unleash the potential we have to be the best person we can possibly be. That is the real truth of who we are, and only we can know our capabilities in our search for it. And I'm not talking here about the search for "a truth" or a search for "the truth". What I'm referring to is the search for YOUR truth.

As case in point, when I write an article like this, it represents the results of the search for my truth. Whether you accept some, any, or all of my opinions, I will have accomplished my purpose if the results of my search inspire you to embark upon, or intensify, the search for your truth. And when you discover it, to recognise its true worth and to value it.

Find value in the life you have

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
— Epictetus (AD 55-135)

In the search for your truth, ask yourself: If the world ended tomorrow would you be happy at how you lived your life? Did you try hard enough to make the best of yourself - whatever that may be? Would you have done yourself justice? Or will you have just let your life pass you by? Have you been selfish, lacked responsibility and drive, and lacked compassion towards your friends and loved ones? Or did you always try to impress others because you were not impressed with yourself?

Be honest with yourself: Do you lead a self-centred existence where you take your life, loved ones and material comforts all for granted? It's a certain malaise of entitlement where, when we take things for granted, we forget to desire the things we already have. And if there was an apocalypse in less than two months than now, and life as we knew it was wiped out - what would we miss the most?

This may sound morbid, but the Roman stoic philosopher, Lucius Annaeus Seneca recommended we mentally rehearse the loss of everything you value such as friends, home and family to make yourself appreciate them more. Those who suffered hardship at the hands of Hurricane Sandy will know what it means to drastically reassess your life; and for those of us lucky enough not to have gone through such an ordeal, we can use the doomsday scenario of 21st of December 2012 as the date for a second chance at change - as a motivation to change what isn't working in our lives.

Thus imagine for a moment that the 21st of December doomsday date did come to pass; use it as a transformational period. See it as an opportunity to change in a powerful and positive way, and to realise the value of what you have. Question yourself on how you lived your life up to that time. What do we value most when everything is taken from us? Can we learn the value of the life we already have, and have taken for granted and are wasting? What can we do in the face of such loss to bring out the best in us?

Importantly still, how can we tap into our physical, mental and emotional well-being in times of crisis to make sure we can use our courage, brain and heart to give us bravery, compassion and decisiveness when we need it the most? Can we powerfully change our self-image to show decisiveness and leadership, courage and responsibility? How can we achieve new levels of courage, selflessness, leadership and most of all compassion - to aid us in our greatest times of need?

Which leads to other (and possibly more revealing) questions: Why is it we only recognise the value of what we have when everything is taken away from us? Should it take a hurricane to remind us to be grateful for the things we have, or to change the way we live our lives? But no matter the frailties of human nature, we can also take good out of conflict - strong storms can come as a warning, and a force to blow away the superficial concerns of the day to remind us of what is really important, and to give us an opportunity to band together.

As already mentioned, we take this as a time to re-evaluate what really matters to us, and also remind ourselves how precious life is. And that every moment we are alive is an opportunity to change our life. Because we can change. It's all a matter of perspective, and to "see" things in the right light. We just need to feed ourselves the right information. For example, the colours of the objects we see all around us are determined by the way light interacts with those objects. For instance, an object that reflects red light but absorbs other wavelengths will appear red to the human eye.

All of life is based on such universal principles, or laws. It is said we cannot (or should not) create or alter principles; only try to discover them, and, once discovered, find ways to use them to our advantage. A principle is a natural law that has always existed and will continue to exist as long as there is a universe. A principle is the essence of truth.

The foundational principle of the universe, as well as all aspects of secular life, is well known to everyone: Actions have consequences. If I push you (an action), something will happen; i.e., there will be a consequence. You may fall down, you may stumble, or, at the very least, you will feel pressure against your body. You also may get mad at me, walk away, or push me back. The point is that I cannot escape the reality that my action, no matter how small, will have consequences. Where I start to invite problems into my life is when I delude myself into believing that I can push you without there being any consequence at all.

Thus, experts say, believing that one can create his or her own principles is a futile and dangerous way to live life. Of course, a person has a perfect right to go on believing whatever he or she wants to believe, but truth isn't discriminatory. It will mete out consequences just as harshly to a well-meaning, ignorant individual as to one who is malicious and self-delusive. Not once has truth excused anyone for being well meaning.Put another way, adherents to this view believe truth is stoic in nature; it doesn't concern itself with human intentions.

Truth overwhelms everything and everyone in its path. It matters not whether a violation of truth is intentional or a result of poor reasoning powers; in either case, truth yields the same consequences. There are even studies that seem to suggest the more healthier we are, the more truthful we become, equating truthfulness as part of a balanced nature. A study from Bonn University has been said to show that men with high levels of testosterone tell the truth more, or find less to reason to lie. Medical News Today wrote:

Does testosterone makes men more honest?

Testosterone is a well-known male hormone which affects many aspects of a man's life, but it may also play a part in altering social behaviour, including lying. Men who have more of the hormone seem to lie less frequently than those who have lower levels, according to Professor Dr. Armin Falk, from the University of Bonn, and colleagues.

A recent study revealed that in "make-believe" circumstances, individuals who were administered testosterone lied significantly less than those who were given a placebo.

Testosterone is a hormone which stimulates male characteristics, including muscle building, sex, and libido. The hormone is also found in women, but the levels are much lower.

Lying is an act which is at best frowned upon and at worst seen as a serious sin in many cultures and religions around the world. Dr. Falk concluded: "However, lies play a great part both in the business world, as well as in personal life."

When people lie, it is normally not solely to benefit themselves, but to help or "protect" someone else. The professor added: "However, there are very few studies on the biological causes of lying. In this regard, the study has allowed us to make a big step forward."

In the short term, of course, truth can be violated. A rational life, however, is based on taking actions that result in long-term success. Fortunately, history has repeatedly demonstrated that time is extremely kind to truth. As Winston Churchill put it, "The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is." In simple terms, the more often your actions are based on truthful premises, the more likely you are to achieve success in all areas of your life.

And if, as the Buddha believed, we need experience, then the purpose of physical existence is all about living through challenges. You are in physical existence to learn and understand that your energy, translated into feelings, thoughts and emotions, causes all experience. It's said there are no exceptions to that rule, but there are many variations.

Some of us need conflict; for them it makes life exciting, and it is true for some that conflict can makes us feel, make us learn - conflict is in our nature. Why is it if we want to be rich, happy or thin we have to read about it in a book, but all the negative stuff comes easily? Is valuable experience gained only through suffering? And must we constantly be reminding ourselves of that suffering, to appreciate what we have in life?

For some that might be true, but it is also true there is no "one-for-all" road-map to happiness; existence is tumultuous enough without being enslaved by what doesn't serve us. Unfortunately, the ordinary man or woman looks for the solutions to personal problems outside of the self, where they can least be found, experts say. We internalise our experiences, but the false beliefs must be weeded out so that the conscious mind can become aware of its source (the inner self) once again, where the true experience of a universal mind resides.

Others believe we are beings unlimited by nature, born into flesh to materialise as best you can, the great joy and spontaneity of your nature. But is happiness simply about detachment or mastering (or giving in to) our emotions, where we have no more ups and downs, only ups? It's believed by many that peace is not the absence of affliction or conflict, but the presence of spirit throughout it. Is the quest for happiness, then, about being calm with all life throws at us? Or is it working together to co-create a world of peace and blissful global consciousness to push us through to the next stage of our evolution where greater enlightenment might bring happiness?

Read about the philosophy of happiness.

Or is happiness simply being happy with and valuing what we have, and not always reaching for the unreachable? Is happiness a commitment to yourself? Some would argue that is not selfish; the only person you can trust is yourself. If truth is our only friend, then we don't need any affirmation but our own truth; we should eliminate the relationships in our life that do not serve us.

However, while surrounding ourselves with support and like-minded people is beneficial, some of us may not just want "yes-men" around us. It depends on how we really grow; some achieve happiness holding onto the throttle of life, some by spending time by themselves, with their loving and supporting self. And as happiness has a myriad of routes to its centre, so, too, does suffering at its core.

Click here for 40 tips to a happier life.

But while the Buddha always came back to the suffering in life, in my experience I have always been led back down to the same destination - to "Love". Call it by any other name, and it is still "Love". Or attach the word love to all the other descriptors and markers in your life - as I do to the title headers of my articles - and it comes much to the same thing. Love heads my life; it adorns the title headings on my blog posts, and in my daily living. For me, it is the key that unlocks the answers to many questions.

The highest thought is always that thought which contains joy. The clearest words are those words which contain YOUR own unique truth. The grandest feeling is that feeling which we call love. Joy, truth, love. All the same thing when you come right down to it. These three are interchangeable, and one always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed.

There is only one purpose for all of life, and that is for you and all that lives to experience the fullest glory of love. Does it matter whether it is real or not in our experience, if it is real to the truth of us? Everything else you say, think, or do is attendant to that function. There is nothing else for your soul to do, and nothing else your soul wants to do.

The wonder of this purpose is that it is never-ending. Love, like hope, is a good thing, maybe the best of things - and no good thing ever dies. An ending is a limitation, and love's purpose is without such a boundary. Should there come a moment in which you experience yourself in your fullest potential, you will in that instant imagine an ever greater potential to fulfil.

Our cosmic destiny might not be greater than this: The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be. And it's at that moment we realise that finding the spirit of love in actuality means fuelling the spirit with love. What we put into it, is what we'll get out of it, and to bring our true selves out, we need to find the truth, and love, within.

Yours in love,