In the Absence of Love

“Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than him”
— Proverbs, 26:12

We search for meaning (or the lack thereof) in events, in literature, in life because we want to understand the universe, and feel we are not just the victims of dark and mysterious forces. We want to find the theme to our story, to get closer to the author. If we understand the universe, then we control it, in a sense, and so we replace fear of the unknown with curiosity. And the great inconstant constant, along with climate and economic forces, is the curiosity of human nature.

It's been said that curiosity kills the cat, but there are times it can help it land on its feet. One of the world's most famous physicists, Professor Stephen Hawking delivered the first memorable moment of the 2012 London Paralympics by telling the world "Look at the stars, not at your feet. Be curious." It's a great instruction for life.

We need a healthy curiosity about ourselves, life and each other, and the most empirical way of understanding the universe is to find the limits of our own intelligence and of science. The most fundamental scientific principles and laws explain not only the story of the universe, but the story of us all. And it is a story bathed in the dark.

Sherlock Holmes, a fictionalised detective dealing with murder and the dark side of humanity knew too well the violent potential of humankind, and had a deep sense of the random cruelty of the human scene. In "The Adventure of the Cardboard Box", published in 1892, he asks, "What is the object of this circle of misery and violence and fear? It must have a purpose, or else our universe has no meaning and that is unthinkable. But what purpose? That is humanity's great problem, to which reason, so far, has no answer."

Here Holmes is voicing an anxiety felt by many at the end of the 19th Century. With the advance of science, religion seemed to have been discredited. But the human needs to which religion answered - above all, the need for meaning in life - hadn't gone away. If anything, the need for meaning was felt more acutely than before.

Along with others at the time, Sherlock author Arthur Conan Doyle found consolation in spiritualism - a movement with many of the functions of religion, but which claimed to be based on scientific evidence. That particular rationalist creed was followed by others, more militant and political in nature. All of them claimed to have solved "humanity's great problem" and to have done so by the use of reason.

Aside from a few relics of Victorian rationalism who find a curious comfort in Darwinism, experts say that most of us now accept that reason can't give meaning or purpose to life. If we're not content with the process of living itself, we need myths and myths very often contain contradictions. Holmes is one such myth. Seeming to find order in the chaos of events by using purely rational methods, he actually demonstrates the enduring power of myths.

Read more about myths.

As an exemplar of logic who lives by guesswork, a man who stands apart from other human beings but who is moved by a sense of human decency, Holmes embodies the modern romance of reason - a myth we no longer believe in, but find it hard to live without. Thanks to the collapse of systems (such as our economies) based on theories that were supposed to be rigorously rational, reason has disillusioned us - while the solution of organised religion is to say that we suffer now, to reap the rewards in an "afterlife" of bliss.

Searching for meaning

“[Because] you are a wheeler and a dealer, a financier, a pusher ... a manipulator, a raider ... you are a taker instead of a builder, a conniver instead of a designer, a user instead of a bringer.”
— Julie Newmar (in The Twilight Zone's "Of Late I Think of Cliffordville"

We fear what we don't understand, and too often we have tried to deal with our fears of death and the larger questions of life with religion, but the major monotheistic religions suggest we should shun the world; the Bible writes, "Do not love the world or anything in the world" (1 John 2:15) and that we are not of the world, so it hates us (John 15:19).

If we took this literally, then dogma dictates that we continue to use the world as a rubbish dump. Worse still loving the world has too often been seen as devil worship and paganism, and those that treat this belief as a religion have been shunned and persecuted for centuries as witches.

It won't come as a surprise to some then, that a new poll suggests that atheism is on the rise in the United States, while those who consider themselves religious has dropped. Some believe that the institution of any religion is corrupt and cruel, and really a simple form of pyramid selling - taking money from the poorest to build a lavish life-style for those at the top. Increased enlightenment is creating more and more bad press for organised religions.

Critics say religious institutions are some of the richest institutions in the world and that you don't need a religion to believe in a higher power. Living a decent life, helping others, being satisfied at what you have has more potential to bring happiness, and probably have more chance of getting you to heaven if there is one. In this way, religion without dogma is another way we try to put meaning into out lives, and so choosing your beliefs and faith is an important part of being a responsible soul on this planet.

What's the point of love in life?

We all need something to believe in, but it must be a choice that your heart is happy with, and that brings you comfort or joy in moments when you need assistance. It shouldn't make us forget that we're a symbiotic part of this world - our bodies are made from this world, and we share its beauty and its brutality. We are part of the order and the chaos of life, and its uncertainty.

Does being spiritual give us meaning?

Spirituality is a common term these days, used by many as a way of stepping beyond religious divides. Some call themselves "spiritual" but not religious - and this is starting to represent a major strand of belief across the West. It's a broad church, so to speak. The spiritually aligned range from pagans to devotees of healing crystals, among many other sub-groups. But for millions of others it is nothing so esoteric. Instead, it's simply a "feeling" that there must be something else.

Some see the rise of this type of spirituality as driven by a sense that religion is out of keeping with modern values. People associate religious institutions with constraining doctrines, and bad things that are done in the world - that may be outright fundamentalism, the oppression of women or some kind of conflict with liberal values.

For many, science has replaced God today, but while science may be able to explain the world, it doesn't evoke how many people feel about their place in the universe. In this sense, spirituality is more than belief, it holds a translucent quality that stems from an appreciation of life itself. Spirituality in this form refers to things that are not expressible in words. There's an aspect of human experience that is non-conceptual.

The practice of spiritual worship is as diverse as the individual is unique. For some practising mindfulness meditation is not about worshipping a God or paying homage to something in the sky, it's about learning to accept things like impermanence and living in the moment. Others may do daily walking meditations, it is simply a matter of entering into the zone of a meditative state. Adherents to this view believe that if you get a glimpse of how happy you can be by embracing the moment, all the chattering of your thoughts stops. It's about making time to contemplate the awe we feel for life on earth, the extraordinary luck this planet has in sustaining life.

Read more about meditation.

Within meditation, some individuals believe the only true spiritual experience is silence. For example, transcendence is often triggered by being in nature, like being on a mountainside, but by learning to meditate, proponents say you can bring that mountain experience to your home. Some follow physical healing practices, like reiki, which claims that by laying hands on someone according to reiki tradition a profound change can take place. By placing your hands on different parts of the body, they believe they can rebalance the energy flow of my body, while promoting calmness and a sense of connection with the world.

For some it could just be about reconnecting with life, and with past human traditions. Those who practise paganism in their private life believe in a divine force in nature. They see that everything is connected, and feel very in touch with nature and the changing seasons. Pagans have a deeps sense of awe and respect for nature, and they believe they can communicate with the deity in this way.

For some spirituality is inherent in their culture. Native Americans believe in spirits and spirituality. To the indigenous natives of what we now call America, religion is not a concept they use, because they don't use the word religion - of if they do, they say it's for the appeasement of others. For them religion implies that things are always going to end badly - holy wars, crucifixion and annihilation - and they don't ask other tribes what "religion" they are.

Spirituality consists of two things for the Native American - nature and creation. Life is a circle, like the seasons, the power of the world works in circles. This circular logic is broken down into quadripartite divisions: sun-moon-sky-stars, red-green-blue-yellow, four seasons, four winds, four directions - but there is no manual to explain what spirituality means for native people. Because there is hundreds and hundreds of different viewpoints on the world, and to try and accumulate that all into one definition is difficult.

For example, the Dakota native calls the energy that creates all things simply the "great mystery" - an unknown power that is out there. Nothing beyond that, there are no churches set up to collect money in its name, or establishments set up to theorise what it might be - the native just accepts that it is all around them. Lenny Foster, veteran director of the Navajo Corrections Project and American Indian Movement (AIM) explains that the Native American believes their essence is all one. "We don't have any separation of culture and religion. We have the Sun and Mother Earth, and the wind takes our prayers. This is some of our beliefs. We don't have cathedrals, our cathedrals are the trees and the waters," he says.

However, because of this diversity, for some, spirituality is a byword for irrational beliefs and a sense that anything goes. Spiritualists have been mocked for their tendencies. From reflexology to astrology, from ghosts to homoeopathy, from wheat intolerance to "having a bad feeling about this", they see spirituality as the celebration of all the wild and wonderful sets of conclusions to which people the world over jump on to fill the gap left by the retreat of organised religion.

Arguably, most of the harshest critics of spirituality are from organised religions. Major religions agree on wanting people to see how they fit into the big picture, but they frown upon the array of beliefs, and spirituality being a lifestyle choice to enhance what's there, like a pick and mix from consumer culture. And, on the other hand, while most spiritual people would view themselves as humanist, most humanists seem to avoid spirituality, because it is a smorgasbord of ideas used for everything from the full Catholic mass to whale songs, crystals, angels and fairies - with a lot of pseudo-science in between.

Humanism is about the belief that human beings find value in the here and now rather than in something above and beyond. People have social instincts and as a humanist it's about reinforcing those instincts, but it is certain that the humanist, religious and spiritual will all agree that the search for meaning can be tiring.

There is always a yearning for something more, and the underlying fear us that you can yearn for the higher as much as you like, but what you're yearning might not be there. What's worse, the desire won't go away. This doesn't make wanting to find meaning a bad thing, but it may lead to discovering some tough questions with no certifiable answer. Thus, spirituality, by some, is seen as a soft cushion for the fall. Interior mental treks are always risky and painful - the promise is great, but it's a challenge to go and try and see things from a bigger perspective.

The fear of an unknown never resolves, because the unknown expands infinitely outward, leaving you to cling to any small shelter of the known, but what is knowable in a universe where entropy grips us in a fatal dance of nihilistic despair? There was a similar feeling of doom in Britain at the start of the Second World War, with petrol and food rationing in the country from September 1939.

The astrology of September 1939 - whether you believe in or not - is uncannily similar to that we see in September 2012. Hunger frightens and hurts, and it has many faces, and we all must at some time face the terror of one of them. Wouldn't it seem that a misery understood by all people, would lead not to chaos and murder, but to faith, hope and love? And yet such fears can lead to deliberate obliteration, which is malignant - a contagious epidemic with a tendency to spread.

Astrologists say that it is little wonder of the impact on the national psyche all over again of the collapse of financial security - and the need for calm. Hot days of summer mean we get into a different physical and mental state, and in these heated times, when the approach of even the most democratic governments has become heavy-handed, the need for calm is more important than ever before.

When love is absent so are we

Britain especially, has been perceived as using bullying tactics, rather than its usual channels of open dialogue and negotiation, during the Julian Assange row with Ecuador. Assange - who is wanted by America for blowing the whistle on its national secrets - was granted asylum by Ecuador's president when he entered Ecuador's embassy in London seeking asylum on June 19, and has been inside since.

Last week it was announced he had been granted political asylum, sparking a major diplomatic row as the British government will not allow him safe passage to Ecuador; but Assange is not without support in Britain and abroad. There are many who see this as a "witch-hunt" against someone who is pushing for a more transparent and accountable system of politics.

But the UK is obliged to extradite Assange to Sweden where he will face charges of rape. In 2010, two female volunteers accused Assange of committing sexual offences against them while he was in Stockholm to give a lecture. He claims the sex was consensual and the allegations are politically motivated. He says he fears onward extradition to the US if extradited to Sweden because of his website's publication of confidential documents. If extradited to America, he believes he will face terrorist charges that could attract a death penalty.

The controversy has raised debate about what constitutes rape under the law of different countries, with a lot of myths surrounding the legal issues being circulated. If Assange is guilty of this sort of heinous crime, then he should pay the penalty provided under Swedish law, but many are focusing on Assange's whistle-blowing company Wikileaks, rather than the morals of the man himself. His supporters ask at what price should we pay for national security, if the tactics we use to protect our freedoms become the main cause that erodes them?

Or is Assange merely using this a ploy to protect himself from the sexual allegation made by two women? He clearly believes that his accusers are the pawns of political motivation. Appearing on the balcony of the embassy building, he told his waiting supporters:

I am here today because I cannot be there with you today. But thank you for coming, thank you for your resolve, your generosity of spirit. On Wednesday night, after a threat was sent to this embassy, the police descended on this building. You came out in the middle of the night to watch over it, and you brought the world's eyes with you.

Inside this embassy in the dark, I could hear teams of police swarming up inside the building through its internal fire escape. But I knew there would be witnesses, and that is because of you. If the UK did not throw away the Vienna Conventions the other night, it is because the world was watching. And the world was watching because you were watching.

So the next time that somebody tells you that it is pointless to defend those rights that we hold dear, remind them of your vigil in the dark before the embassy of Ecuador. Remind them how, in the morning, the sun came up on a different world, and a courageous Latin American nation took a stand for justice.

Others would say that the Assange crisis is just an indication of the underlying currents that move the world in 2012. We're obsessed with getting other people to do our dirty work, but we'd solve so many of humanity's problems if we took responsibility for our own mess instead of spreading fear through threats and coercions.

Astrologers say that if we don't remain focused, another world war might be imminent, bringing more than a sense of repetition of 1939. Just as the Second World War was a lesson in values, so, too, they believe late 2012 and 2013 will remind us of the core moral issues underlying not only world economies and businesses, but to the cost of our lives. From the end of August, the planet Mars - the Roman god of conflict, the raging red planet - will come into play. September is a short, sharp road to rebellion and radical change - which is where we're headed in October if we believe that our destiny is not only written in our soul, but in our stars.

However, as Shakespeare wrote, some believe that our destiny is not in our stars, but in our own hands, and it is up to us what we make of it - we can change something we think of as unstoppable. We can usually do this if we have learnt lessons from the past, by focusing on what resulted in favourable outcomes. And adherents to astrology say that this is what astrology does - it reminds us of the past, so that we can assist the future. To this end, what can we learn from the Second World War - what are the values that got the world through the 1940s? This:

• Stop shopping.
• Mend your possessions.
• Grow your own food.
• Find values above materialism to be happy.
• Recycle.
• Exchange.
• Donate.
• Ask yourself about the ethical price tag of any wealth.

In Britain, even big business has begun to criticise the government, for pushing tactics to persuade the public to spend. Supermarket giant Sainsbury's boss has attacked government plans to make temporarily extended Sunday trading hours for the London Olympics permanent. Sunday has a special status in England and Wales due to it's religious significance, and opening hours for trading is restricted by law. The argument against relaxing the rules is that public spending is not a "magic answer" to the United Kingdom's economic problems. Longer opening hours won't put more money in the pockets of shoppers or spur economic regeneration; critics say they will just see spending spread over a greater period.

Our karmic journey seems to be one where we explore money, property, business and values, in depth for the foreseeable future. Some now say that the next stage of our journey is to understand that we all share the world, and our actions affect the very fabric of life. Any advancements in medicine and technology must take ecological concerns into account. Designs should not only focus on social impact, but ecological impact. In Janine Benyus' book, Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature, she emphasises nine laws of nature including the following:

• Nature runs on sunlight.
• Nature utilises only the energy it needs.
• Energy fits form to function.
• Energy recycles everything.
• Nature rewards cooperation.
• Nature banks on diversity.
• Nature demands local expertise.
• Nature curbs excess from within.
• Nature taps the power of limits.

Benyus believes that each of these "laws of nature" must be seriously considered when attempting to create a biometric design. If one of the laws is not considered, the design's outcome cannot be truly biomimetic. It's interesting that when our values (as shown from the 1940s) closely mimic natural laws our chance for survival is the strongest.

Figure yourself out

And if our actions are so important, then we need to figure out what makes us tick in our own lives. Happy, balanced people, at peace with themselves, don't act irresponsibly or jeopardise the safety of others. Those sorts of individuals know we are each on our own path to our vision and visualised passions.

But to reach them we need to know in which situations we work best. Some experts say this is the real meaning of life - that there is no single meaning, there are as many meanings as there are people. We define the meaning in our lives, and it can be anything we want it to be. It's a journey of discovery, of self-improvement, value and meaning.

Discover your passions.

Real freedom is allowing people to pursue their purpose; by changing our bad habits and erasing negative mindsets and discovering our core values, as I've mentioned before, the freedom to figure things out for yourself is the only real freedom you have. And if you've ever asked yourself what is the point to life, you'll know it's a tough question. To some it might just be a comfortable pair of shoes (it's often joked that all the great thinkers wore accommodating shoes). To some having children, creating life, is the point of life, while some say it's the loved ones in your life, your friends and family that give meaning to living.

In this context, meaning comes from understanding that time goes by so fast with people going in and out of your life, you must never miss an opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you. To some people the most important thing in life is love. It doesn't matter what you love. It could be a person, it could be a thing, as long as you love totally, completely and without judgement.

Mozart said "love is the soul of genius", Samuel Coleridge said "love is flower-like", on the other hand Samuel Daniel said love is "a sickness all remedies refusing". For hundreds of years we have been trying to define love, as we have been searching for the meaning of life.

Some would say the search for meaning is a waste of time, all human life is just a cosmic accident, an arbitrary conglomeration of molecules evolved by chance into an organism with a brain stem condemning it to ponder futility the reason behind it all. And when we look at the state of our societies today - and the state we have placed the world in - you can't blame some for repeating the nihilistic view that was so prevalent in the 90s of the last century.

We have young crown states of countries, brought up on pomp and privilege, dancing naked with strangers at drunken parties; what kind of example does that set for the youth of the country where he is third in line to the throne? The photographs of the UK's Prince Harry may seem harmless to some, but add that to the new figures that show one in six 16 to 24-year-olds in England were not in education, employment or training at the end of June this year.

Prince Harry is an icon of his generation in my country, so what is he representing? Evidence that we Brits have a psychological weakness to alcohol, where we drink irresponsibly and it causes us to shed our inhibitions and become aggressive, promiscuous, disorderly and even violent? Yet, this is the darker side of "Britishness" - which even showed up in the 2012 London Olympics. The British media - complaining of being neutered by recent enquiries into press standards which meant they wouldn't publish the naked Prince Harry pictures (apart from one paper which caused a backlash) - were almost racist in their reporting of this year's Olympics, some critics say.

The Olympics were conceived in the spirit of fair play, to encourage the very best of human nature. Although in the run up to the London Games that generosity of spirit and unity, which captured the mood of the nation so well, went missing once the competitive programme began. Ed Smith, writing for the New Statesman, had this to say about it:

Invariably the home country focuses on its athletes - but surely not to the extent of ignoring the rest of the field. Sometimes the BBC and newspaper coverage suffered from trying to turn every Olympic contest into a tribal battle between Team GB and the rest of the world. The Games have been most un-British, and most unattractive, when they have been most jingoistic.

There is some truth to Smith's complaint; it can be seen in the BBC's Medal Table, which is tweaked to rank countries by number of gold medals won, rather than final tally of medals received. Had they done that, Team GB would have been fourth behind Russia, who won more medals but fewer gold ones than the British and Northern Ireland team. Placing countries by the gold medal tally put Team GB in the top three.

But even if the British media have fallen prey in the jungles of nationalism, the true spirit of the Games have shown the generosity of the home public in applauding all who competed. Sports personalities have also shown that in these Olympics what we perceive to "be a winner" has changed. Smith from the Statesman also had this to say in the same article:

These Games have shown how the image of “a sporting champion” has changed. Twenty-five years ago, in line with the worst strands of Thatcherism, the image of being a winner was aggressive individualism. It was assumed that John McEnroe-style outbursts would become the norm, because “nice guys finish last”. Not so long ago, a leading sportswriter chastised Colin Jackson for congratulating his friend and rival Mark McCoy for winning a gold medal.

That is absurd. These Games have proved that sportsmen do not gain any competitive advantage by losing their dignity or forgetting their friendships. Usain Bolt talks about Yohan Blake, his fellow Jamaican who won a silver medal behind Bolt in the 100 metres, like a younger brother, thanking him for pushing him hard. Farah was thrilled that his training partner, the American Galen Rupp, won silver. As we have learned from the rivalry of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, the greatest rivalries are underpinned by respect.

So it seems we have moved on in three decades, from being all about individual winner takes all (which has brought doping to sport) to understanding that it really is how you play the game. Some have pointed out that the recent news of US cycling star Lance Armstrong being stripped of his seven titles because of allegations of doping is a heartbreaking example of how the win-at-all-costs culture of sport, if left unchecked, will overtake fair, safe and honest competition.

However, sporting celebrities now seem to reflect that there is not one way to win, we can all be winners. And questions need to be asked: What will we sell out for? What won't we sell out for? What or who is priceless to you? What price do you put on your principles?

Are the best things in life free? What is the worth of human life; what is it's value? We have to re-evaluate what "wealth" means, and allow our stories to dovetail with larger stories, around the world, as we place a greater value on unity and the sacredness of life for survival.

What is your life worth?

“Man, biologically considered, and whatever else he may be into the bargain, is simply the most formidable of all the beasts of prey and, indeed, the only one that preys systematically on its own species.”
— William James

We are all made of atoms, and these atoms in turn obey the second law of thermodynamics - an iron law of physics which says everything decays. Everything and anything in the universe has the tendency to go from order to disorder, and once the damage is done it is extremely difficult to reverse this - for example once you mix cream in your coffee (you introduce disorder) you can't reverse the act.

Humans try to put order to chaos - with science and religion. We're taught to think of religion and science as separate truths - and yet some quote Albert Einstein who said, "Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind", suggesting he didn't believe that. Faith is important, but it needs to be channelled correctly.

History shows that treating nature as the enemy, and the world as our dominion for resources has brought us to what many fear might be the beginnings of the end of human existence. So, can we learn to reassess our religious beliefs, and be reasonable without expecting too much of reason? Or will we blunder on, trying to remodel the world on rational principles that in practice produce chaos, or give up on this world in the hope there is a next?

Or will that insatiable curiosity of ours to know, which is such a large part of human nature, drive us with some deeper need to discover the covenant we have with life - even if it's only to know how to survive? Because today, survival of the fittest doesn't mean the person who can hunt the most or run the fastest; it's the person who knows the most. We know there are big questions that affect our lives, but is the meaning of life simply a defunct process of questions to which we'll probably never know the answer? Because there is always something beyond our known world, and the confines of what we know alone.

Many scientists and researchers believe we don't even know the rules, let alone what might constitute as the facts. It's been said we're like little ants that have just made it to the desert, and what we can explain is like a grain of sand in the Sahara of the unexplainable. Now, with the few discoveries we have made, we say we have conquered the Sahara, but we haven't conquered anything. We're only staring to find the mysteries, we haven't even begun to solve them. Thinkers and scientists and researchers still need to do a lot of searching through a lot of dark nights and a lot of dark space until we find the clues, let alone the answers.

We have a long way to go, but we do have a talent of fastening labels onto everything we don't understand. However does that lull us into thinking that by giving something a name, we rob it of its mystery or understand it any better? And conversely, wouldn't it be terrifying if everything was known? If there was nothing left for humans to discover about the universe or themselves?

Some have searched for a theory to everything (with labels like the string theory) in physics, to try and join different theories together into a cohesive whole. It eluded Albert Einstein, but many are still looking for the correct fundamental description of nature. Professor Hawking, in a lecture he gave at Cambridge University, finally came to terms that humankind would never discover the answer to everything. Talking on the subject of an ultimate theory, he said:

Some people will be very disappointed if there is not an ultimate theory, that can be formulated as a finite number of principles. I used to belong to that camp, but I have changed my mind. I'm now glad that our search for understanding will never come to an end, and that we will always have the challenge of new discovery. Without it, we would stagnate.

If life is energy, and energy is movement then it follows that stagnation is the antithesis to evolution. Although we move slowly, we do move. And maybe that's the point. A world of unknowns is also filled with thrilling possibility; we just have to step up with the passion and the desire to meet it.

Yours in love,

Trust in the Awareness of Love

“Self confidence, self belief, a certain amount of modesty, a positive attitude and a serious commitment are all essential elements to self development. Self development involves work, but it is work that will enable you to live your life fully, and give you the satisfaction of making not only your own dreams come true, but helping others to do so too.”
— Adrian Gunter

If you're going from day to day, doing the same thing, the same way, and nothing ever changes then there's a very good probability you're not living consciously. Conscious living is being aware of your life and the things you're doing. It's about taking the time to stop and smell the roses so you can see where you fit into the whole picture. Living consciously is a vital component in enjoying the fleeting moments we have on Earth.

Such preoccupation with one's "self" can seem selfish, but if we can't understand ourselves, there is no way we can understand others - it's often said that before we find others, we must find ourselves. The point being that it's about self-improvement not self-aggrandisement. It is about letting go of the ego, not inflating it. Likewise, experts suggest in creating opportunities for success in our lives, we should not go after success for success' sake, but that success will be a by-product of something you do that is of value to yourself and the living community as a whole.

It is tempting for all of us to remain in our comfort zones. But that is not where we grow, improve, and make the changes necessary to dramatically move forward. The challenge, experts say, is to do the opposite. Look at what you are doing to stay in your comfort zone and think, "What is the opposite action of my instinct? And would this opposite action be the better solution?" Then ask yourself. Are you doing the best you can do?

Although we are neither perfect in achieving our aims, nor in how we treat others, the end result of our life should be that we accomplished all that we could given the life we have lived. We must at least try. We all have plenty of room for improvement. But the good news is that you don't have to be perfect. You can still have vices - as we all do. You don't have to be a super-mum or saint to be remembered as doing the best that you could do. You only have to do better than what you're doing right now.

This type of improvement is not limited to the workplace. Can you do better with your health? Can you plan ahead and do a better job with your nutrition? Can you set aside 30 minutes to consistently engage in the movement that your body needs for optimal health? Did you know that even if you exercise regularly, sitting for prolonged periods can have a major impact on your health? Can you do a better job of following the rules for better sleep, so that you don't toss and turn each night because of the alcohol and energy drinks flowing through your bloodstream? Surely, we can all do better here.

Read more about diet and exercise.

Perhaps just as importantly, are you doing your best when raising your family? Can you spend more time at the park with your children? Are they receiving the best experience you can provide them with given the resources at hand? Or are you spending more time on your iPhone answering email than being present for their milestones? Think about what your family deserves and find a way to do better.

We can't ask for perfection from others or from ourselves. But we can demand better. We must take all the gifts we've been given and make the most of them. And for almost all of us, that means doing a slightly better, or in some cases, a much better job than what we are doing now. You need to decide for yourself where you belong on that continuum.

We will have bad days. There will be days, even weeks, characterised by exhaustion, frustration, and obstacles. But we also have the opportunity to do better in these tough times than we have in the past. Ultimately, we have the opportunity - and choice - to do our best in every given situation. And if we do, we can look back and say, "I could have done no better. This was the best I could do".

If you care enough about yourself and about others the you must be willing to take action, to risk stumbling (but never truly failing), and to get out of your comfort zone in order to create a better world for those around you, and for yourself. Let it be said that you have done the best you can with what you were given. In this sense, it's important to take note of what's going on around us and be aware of what we're doing.

Living consciously brings us an understanding of what we're capable of doing and paves the way for us to get where we want to go. It unshackles us from being slaves in our own little world of self-defeating thoughts. When discussing the benefits of concious living, perhaps you'll wonder, "What's in it for me?" Experts say that conscious living brings with it many benefits, which you may already be seeking in your life. Here are just a few of these benefits:

1. Relieve stress. Conscious living can be a great stress reliever. Not only does it make life more enjoyable when you alleviate your stress, but it also makes you healthier. Stress affects every process in our bodies and can cause serious disease if it builds up within us.

   Read about natural stress-busters.

2. Expand your horizons As you become more aware of your surroundings, you'll find that you can better understand the world and your place in it.


3. Live in the moment. Throughout the day, you'll be more focused on your work because you're consciously acting on a specific task in the moment.


4. Enjoy more passion in your relationships. While living consciously, your relationships will become more meaningful because you'll be appreciative of them as well as the other person. You'll be more in tune with your partner and aware of every want and need.


5. Know your importance. Your job will become more fulfilling because you're more conscious of your role in the grand scheme of things. You no longer just answer a phone or hand someone a photocopy, but you are consciously making a difference.


6. Bring colour into your world. Your surroundings will become more vibrant because you'll notice things like the subtle differences between the shades of the trees and the direction of the soft breeze.


7. Being conscious of life makes life more fun. When you're living
   consciously, bad days are few and far between.

Experts also say that there are action steps we can take to living consciously, claiming that transforming your life into one filled with vibrant joy is easier than you may think. You can make some simple adjustments to your everyday humdrum routines to live consciously and more fully enjoy your life. Here are some action steps you can take to bring conscious living to your life:

1. Stop. Take some time to stop throughout the day and look around. Be aware of where you are and what's around you. Become conscious of your surroundings and notice how you fit into them.
   • Notice the details such as the green on the trees, or the condensation dripping down the side of the cup.
   • Become in tune with what your body feels and actually search out the sensations of your fingers and toes while feeling your chest rise and fall with each breath.


2. Breathe. Take deep breaths and be in the moment. Don't think about what you've done or what you still have to do, just take a minute or two to just breathe.


3. Learn. Take a few minutes each day to try something new. Pick up a book you've wanted to read or learn a new skill. By doing this, you're starting to become conscious of your life and the things you can do with it.

There are many things you can do to live life to its fullest. Living consciously is one of the easiest changes to make on a day-to-day basis. Take a few of these ideas, integrate them into your routine, and begin enjoying the benefits of living consciously, because success may seem elusive at times. We may strive to achieve goals, read inspirational books and really work hard to make the quality shift we may desire in our lives.

When that doesn't work we blame it on luck. However, some life coaches will point out that success has nothing to do with luck. They will tell you that success is a question of learning the key laws that govern the outcomes of your effort and taking action to move your dream forward. Proponents to this theory have identified what they describe as ten vital keys to life success to help take you to the next level in life.

1. Challenge your self-limitations: The biggest culprit in destroying dreams is our own self-sabotaging thoughts. We need to work on these before even considering further progress. There are a lot of ways to do this including by working on what I call your negative thoughts and creating empowering beliefs.

   Negative thoughts can be those "protective" thoughts that run in our heads at times and which limit our life by putting excessive fear in risking and in trying out new things. They might tell us things like: "You've failed before, what's to stop you from failing again" or "Don't go out of your comfort zone or you will get hurt". Challenging these thoughts and creating new empowering beliefs is a crucial step to trigger off your journey towards life success.

2. Charge your body and language: The way we move our body and the language we use have a powerful effect on our feelings and emotions. Experts say that working on particular body movements and specific words we use can create a shift in our emotional status and motivational levels. By energising our body movements and using transformational words we can shift our mental states to more empowering ones.

   Tap into your own frequency.

3. Clarify your principles and values: We all need a compass to direct our journey. We also need to be aware of who we really are - what innate qualities dwell within us that are just waiting to be tapped and celebrated. Clarifying your core values through specific values clarification exercises is a vital step towards empowering you to take clear decisions without too much hesitation. Clarifying your values will help you to identify your personal gifts and what direction you will choose to honour in your life.

   Read how to identify your core values.

4. Connect to your dream and life purpose: Clear values will help you to delve deeper and identify your life purpose. By living a more consciously aware life, you can discover the true mission and meaning of your life as well as tap the big dream you want to achieve.


5. Create it in your Mind: Once you discover your dream and life purpose, the experts say the next step is to start working on manifesting it. The first creation is in the mind. By believing in your dream and doing specific visualisation exercises you will pave the way for success.

   Rewire your mindset for success.

6. Commit yourself completely: Many experts will emphasise that commitment is a crucial factor in ensuring success. You can't look over your shoulder once you have a passionate Dream to follow. There's no turning back when you have inspired yourself to achieve higher standards and identified what you will no longer accept in your life. There comes a time when you will need to "burn your bridges" and march forward with a clear sense of commitment.


7. Convert your passion into action: Positive thought must be backed up by inspired action. There is no such thing as effortless success. Don't believe anyone who tells you that you can just sit back and attract good luck and abundance simply by thinking yourself into it. In order to succeed you must take massive action - right away after you take the decision to live your dream.

   Acting-to-become is effective to change.

8. Continue persisting with consistency: Experts say persistence and perseverance is what finally births success. It is the sheer will to continue on your chosen path, the focus of consistently hanging on to your dream, watching the signs that Providence provides and immediately acting on them.


9. Consolidate and expand: Once your dream starts manifesting, it's important to continue raising your standards, expanding your boundaries and taking time to recreate yourself. Consistently doing things that raise your standards will ensure that you develop yourself to your peak performance.

   Don't coast through life.

10. Contribute to a higher cause: Achieving self mastery will prompt you to look beyond your self-fulfilment. Your new confidence and success will attract others to you and you will find yourself able to lead and communicate a shared dream. More importantly, doing good will forge a chain with your aspirations to a much higher cause, therefore adding value and purpose to you and your life. In this way, your ability to create a legacy of goodness that will outlive you will be the apex of true life success.

The need for change

The only thing you can count on is change. We know change is essential. We know change is inevitable. We know change is the doorway to bigger and better things. And yet often we are scared by it, burdened by it and do everything we can to dig in our heels and avoid it. We even know that if we desire our lives to be any different than they are now, change will be required, so we know we have to find a way to be empowered within the change. In other words, we just need to know HOW to change.

If you want to take things to the next level in your life, experts say it is time to make change our friend. What if you shifted from being scared of change to being excited about change? What would be possible for you then? some life coaches provide four steps, which they say are important to learn and implement, because they allow you to take your power back and step into being a deliberate creator of change. The logic goes that we are less in fear of something we can understand or control.

1. Recognise. Identify what the situation is and how it takes you away from that joyful being that is your true nature. Describe the entire situation or circumstance that surrounds you feeling less than joyful. The minute you become aware and can recognize that you are out of the state of well-being, you have the power to change. Be real and honest so that you can clearly look at it and so that you can change it - not just this one time, but forever.
2. Acknowledge.

   Part A: Who is responsible for creating this? If you adhere to the law (or laws) of attraction, you will believe that you create everything in your reality, wanted or unwanted, no exceptions. Instead of judging yourself and beating yourself up for this situation, which is never productive or useful, experts in this field claim you need to figure out WHY so we can change it for the future.

   Part B: Why did you create this? What would you have to believe to create this type of situation in your life? Write out a list of ten reasons that you would have created this. Don't censor it. Just allow your consciousness to flow from the pen onto the paper. Then go back and read each one and ask yourself, "Is this true? Does this resonate as truth to me?" You may have a few reasons why you would have created it. But now you are aware and you can do something to change it.

3. Forgive. Instead of beating yourself up for the reason or the limiting belief that you just discovered, forgive yourself. Truly love yourself enough to forgive so that you are bringing a different energy to yourself and to the situation. Forgiveness is so healing. Once you do this step then you can go onto the final step.
4. Change. How do you want to feel? What do you want to create? What do you want to believe? Then take a moment to step into the vibration of that new energy. If you want to feel powerful in your life, step into that feeling of being powerful. Even if you have to make it up, shift the energy so it feels better to you. This is where you can use different techniques and processes that you feel suit your uniqueness and works best for you. Life coaches remind us that everything in your outer reality is a direct reflection of your inner reality. If you want the outer to change, you need to shift from the inside. This means moving, shifting and changing your energy. From that change the energy of like frequencies will be attracted into your life.

We are constantly told that we have the power to make these changes and to become neutral to the things that take us away from that power. Advice often provided tells us we should start with the small things that are not as energetically charged. Once you develop the skill with the smaller things then move onto the things that are a deeper issue for you, or have more of an energetic charge to them. This will help you have more confidence in your ability to shift the energy, and create your life the way you desire.

Fear and excitement and different names for the same emotional charge, and the key to embracing change, lies in shifting how you define your feeling of fear (when it comes to change) to a definition of excitement. An example of fear and excitement being the same thing (but which definition you attach to means the difference between failure and success) can be illustrated by imagining yourself asking an Olympic athlete right before their event if they are scared. Most will say something to the effect of, "No way, I'm excited, I'm ready to go."

If they define themselves as scared, their instinct will be to shut down and stop moving; fear by definition typically paralyses us. However, when they name it as excitement, there is so much positive change, that they are amped up, but ready to move. The next time you feel scared of change, say to yourself, "I'm not scared, I'm EXCITED and ready to move!" Experts say that by employing this technique you'll be amazed at the momentum this shift will create.

The need for improvement

Life coaches advise continuously that we need to work on ourselves. To "go inside" in a state of meditative contemplation, to still our mind and listen to our inner voice. In this way we are connecting with our infinite source of power, because the only real and lasting truth is your own.

Focusing on the moment can help us perceive the situation correctly, and some believe is essential to achieve happiness. If we're playing with our children, the only thing that matters at that point in time is giving them our undivided attention, praise and love. Likewise, if we're out to dinner with our spouse, we should treat it like a first date, with all the respect and appreciation that goes with that. When we're in a business meeting or anything to do with work, the same applies.

This is, in effect, is the art of meditation, the art of being present. There's nothing clever about doing twenty things at once - usually just the opposite. When twenty things at once come at you in life, it's better to prioritise and calmly deal with it one thing at a time, giving your full and appropriate attention on each.

Read about the power of meditation.

Patience is advocated to attune yourself to this sort of calm; experts say it takes time to develop inner communication, especially after a lifetime of neglect. When you persevere and keep working on yourself, gradually it will come to you, and when it does, you must learn to trust in your inner guidance. The ultimate test of self-development and improvement comes when you become consciously aware of your own workings, and the impact others around you can have on you. Thus sometimes, even when the whole world tells you that you are wrong, if your inner instincts tell you different, then you need to build up a trusting relationship to know which to believe in what circumstance.

It is hard work to trust yourself when all those around you doubt you and call you crazy, but some believe it is the job you came here to do. The only real and lasting truth is a "self-realised" one. Messengers, self-help gurus can come and go and shout their truths until they're red in the face, but it will not be your truth, until you have realised for yourself, deep within the core of your being, that it "feels" true for you.

Being consciously aware means that we should never accept something as true, just because someone tell us it is so. But when your inner voice guides you, and you feel that old warm feeling of excitement welling up from somewhere deep within that says, "Yes! I knew it!" - then hold on to that feeling.

Feelings are the language of your soul. We must guard it carefully, and challenge old and our new-found beliefs in many ways. Some believe our soul was designed this way, to test us. A belief that is true to our spirit must be able to withstand the test of time, and will be given a thorough examination. Hold fast to it, so long as it is what you know to be true deep within.

Keep an open mind, but if you have a healthy soul, allow nothing or no-one to pull you from your path, no matter how fiercely they contend with you. Realise that they, too, are just doing their job, even if they may well not even be aware that this is what they are in fact doing. They are performing an important service to you, and you should be grateful to them for that.

It is all part of the process of learning about the energy and wisdom of what some term as the higher self. Connecting and listening to your inner voice is described as a way of channelling the soul (the totality of your being), and indeed some believe that this is the next stage of evolution to allow us to access even higher faculties of the brain.

In practical terms, this means channelling the energy and quality of your soul, letting your soul speak through you and colour all your perspectives of life. Through constant attuning in this way, you begin to live the life of the soul, even while you still have an active personality. A soul-led life is a purposeful one, based on love.

When the soul illumines the personality, the ego becomes confined to a function of individual-awareness (where it can still be useful), rather than having free range as the master of the personality (where it can cause chaos). And as that soul-influence becomes stronger, you will find yourself increasingly channelling the highest aspect of your total being: the higher self.

Experts on this theory underline the point that when you channel the energy and wisdom of your higher self, you will not need to channel any other source. Everything you need, and need to know, is accessible through the higher self, and channelling the higher self will eventually become the only form of channelling that is relevant to you. Most of the answers we need in life are hidden within us.

This takes time, there are years of programming to erase, and blockages to clear, before we gain a clear path to our soul. Channelling the higher self is an advanced stage, indeed experts will tell you it is the ultimate stage of the whole meditative process of channelling.

It's all about acquiring relative control over your existence. While generating sufficient power in the body, reaching a specific emotional state in the mind, and focusing on the desire for the correct duration of time, you emit a pulsation of energy that acts as a pathway to your soul within your physical experience. Many experts who believe that our destiny is coded into our soul, believe we will never attain or discover our purpose without first training ourselves to link up with the soul.

In the world of psychology, psychologist James Hillman - who studied with Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung in the 1950s and later became the first director of studies at the Jung Institute in Zurich - founded archetypal psychology. This is a school of thought aimed at "revisioning" or "re-imagining" psychology - Hillman argued that the therapy business needs to evolve beyond reductionist "nature" and "nurture" theories of human development.

Over a period of almost five decades - until his death in October 2011 - he wrote, taught and lectured about the need to get therapy out of the consulting room and into the real world. Conventional psychology has lost touch with what he called "the soul's code". Overrun with "psychological seminars on how to clean closets or withhold orgasms," psychology has become reduced to "a trivialized, banal, egocentric pursuit, rather than an exploration of the mysteries of human nature," he wrote.

One of the greatest of these mysteries, Hillman believed, is the question of character and destiny. In his best-seller The Soul's Code, he proposed that our calling in life is inborn and that it's our mission in life to realise its imperatives. He called it the "acorn theory" - the idea that our lives are formed by a particular image, just as the oak's destiny is contained in the tiny acorn.

Will we find the purpose in our lives by "decoding" our soul? Is our destiny, then, weaved into our soul? For example, was it "meant to be" that the right person showed up in your life at exactly the right moment and said the words that set the wheels of your life spinning in a new direction? There are some that believe there are those events for which there is no explanation that we can imagine, unless we throw in the fate factor.

Deciphering a code for the soul

“In dreams some of us walk the stars and none are beyond our reach. Some of us in dreams, cannot reach beyond the walls of our own little sleep.”
— Mickie Kent

In Hillman's The Soul's Code, he proposed that each of us has a calling, and inborn imperative, coded into our very soul and that in order to find fulfilment with our lives, we have to realise that calling. This invisible guiding force, ever urges us toward our destiny, ever prods us to live our highest truth. The Romans called it our "genius". The Greeks called it the "daimon".

How many of us are living according to our soul's code? How many of us are following our deep-seeded spark of genius? Looking at the state of the world in 2012, my guess would be that only a small percentage of us are. The majority of us have forsaken it - set it aside for various reasons. Maybe because we have to be responsible grown-ups and work at jobs and pay rent and raise our children and survive? Maybe because we don't know what our calling is in the first place? But the lifeblood of living is passion, and when we deny our calling, when we shove our destiny deep down within us, it turns on us.

Instead of being the higher voice of the divine inspiring us to our greatness, it becomes the demon that eats away at us from the inside because we won't let it out into our life. It feels apt then, that daimon is the Greek derivative of the word demon. When every, other thing takes precedent over listening to the call of your purpose, your life will always seems out of sync - flat.

Experts say living with this rabid daimon, leaving it in a cage creates havoc. Are you depressed? Are you constantly enraged? Does everything you touch turn to dust? Do you wonder why your life does not seem to go anywhere? Or brings no lasting joy or pleasure? In this context, Hillman's approach suggests that when we stop denying our soul's code, and start doing what we were meant to do, everything shifts.

This does seem a more spiritual approach to self-help than is we would expect from a psychological point of view, but ultimately all approaches will be about "value-giving" - what brings value into your life, so that you can value yourself? However, Hillman also believed that the old psychology wasn't working because the only focus was on the individual. Hillman believed the focus has to be put on changing society, too. Although society's larger problems can't be addressed by solving solving individual needs alone, yet it's a myth that we see the world as it is and react to it; we see the world as we are.

We are not merely passive recipients of external information that enters our brain through our sensory organs. Instead, we actively search for patterns (like a Dalmatian dog that suddenly appears in a field of black and white dots), turn ambiguous scenes into ones that fit our expectations (e.g., is it a vase or a face) and completely miss details we aren't expecting.

In one famous psychology experiment, about half of all viewers told to count the number of times a group of people pass a basketball do not notice that a guy in a gorilla suit is hulking around among the ball-throwers. We have a limited ability to pay attention (which is why talking on a smartphone while driving can be as dangerous as drink driving), and plenty of biases about what we expect or want to see. Our perception of the world isn't just "bottom-up" - built of objective observations layered together in a logical way. It's "top-down," driven by expectations and interpretations.

Therefore, some will set goals and meet them, one at a time, without looking too far ahead, some will have a major goal in mind, without thinking too much of the small steps. Some will subscribe to the idea of knowing what they want and "sending it out to the universe" - while some do this with a caveat. While the universe is getting ready to deliver, they know that the universe helps them who helps themselves with inspired action. So they busy themselves marshalling their own resources to help the process along.

This includes all the other billions of brains on planet Earth immediately absorbing the pulsation you emitted and acting, through their own accord, in a way to serve the means in which your intentions may be directly and indirectly fulfilled. It's believed that even nature itself responds to the pulsation of your intention, synchronously working with geological systems, weather systems, other life forms, and all the elements so the outcome you desire is best delivered.

As we become more conscious and sensitive, people are ready to leap forward and at the same time, need to take a step back and make sure they are going in the right direction. It's believed by some that this is causing missteps, date confusion and turmoil of different sorts. For instance, there are weather patterns in the world that seem to be causing things to go awry. With the news of a hurricane hitting the United States (Hurricane Isaac is expected to reach New Orleans exactly seven years after it was hit by Hurricane Katrina) some see the weather as a reflection of what is happening in the energy of mass consciousness.

The hurricane/tropical storm patterns are affecting the south-east and south-west and there are threats of earthquakes and wind-storms and forest fires in numerous places around the globe. This has been transpiring for a couple of years now, and some say it will continue until things calm down in the energy field of the masses. Experts in this area say the best thing you can do as an individual is ground into the centre of the earth, meditate and do what you can to be still and accept what is. Take time to journal and see what comes out of your pen that you need to be aware of. There is much coming up from people that needs to be seen and healed.

Many who have been isolating themselves for a long time, are now longing to be with their old friends. Those who did not isolate themselves, are glad to have time for themselves and be alone. Things are switching and seem a bit topsy turvy for many as balance is needed for each of us. Proponents to such theories claim that when we balance the yin and yang energy within, then things will become calmer and more balanced in the world. Some would argue that deciphering the soul's code is about learning balance.

Therefore it's believed we should expect these weather fluctuations to continue until we learn what we came to learn at this time. Are we doing the best we can do? Are we linked-up to that inner voice, to communicate with our soul and decode our purpose? And if our destiny is written in our soul, then we take it with us wherever we go. Some are considering moving to better climates, but you will be drawn to weather that matches your energy and that will continue to fluctuate. Stay put until you are absolutely certain that you will not be going round in circles by moving to find a panacea that does not exist in the outer world.

To find a panacea, means to be content, happy, satisfied with your current lot in life and know that everything you desire is unfolding for you in divine timing. Wherever you go, there you are. Be aware, be in the present. Living consciously with that knowledge will bring inner peace, and when there is peace in our home - so it's believed - will there be peace in the world.

Yours in love,

The Affirmations of Love

“In our unhappiness, there is so much we're not seeing. Don't treat the soul as an appendix at the tiniest hurt. Find joy in the little things, those which seem so little but are in reality so much - the stars in the sky, the leaves on a tree ... and then when you look at everyone who's going through the motions of life, blind to all this beauty, let it pierce your soul, to remember when you were that blind, and took everything for granted.”
— Mickie Kent

As a journey of discovery, life can seem full of questions with few answers. Call it synchronicity or serendipity or coincidence - or just plain luck; but the fact is, sometimes you have no idea why something amazing happens to you. Is there something beyond our five senses, or are we just a random echo in the corridor of what we term as time? What can we really be certain of - when there is so much we have to understand about ourselves and our place in the universe?

There are so many "truths" that turn out to be "myths" - like the belief that we only have five senses. Sure, sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch are the big ones - but even the way we understand them are changing. Have you seen the taste map of the tongue, the diagram showing that different regions are sensitive to salty, sweet, sour or bitter flavours? That is now said to be a myth.

Read about the link between taste and the brain.

We have many other ways of sensing the world and our place in it. Proprioception is a sense of how our bodies are positioned. Nociception is a sense of pain. We also have a sense of balance - the inner ear is to this sense as the eye is to vision - as well as a sense of body temperature, acceleration and the passage of time.

Compared with other species, though, humans are missing out. Bats and dolphins use sonar to find prey; some birds and insects see ultraviolet light; snakes detect the heat of warm-blooded prey; rats, cats, seals and other whiskered creatures use their "vibrissae" to judge spatial relations or detect movements; sharks sense electrical fields in the water; birds, turtles and even bacteria orient to the Earth's magnetic field lines.

And when it comes to "happiness" - we seem to luck out again when we compare ourselves to the rest of the living community we share the planet with. Many of us think we know what will make us happy, but in some cases we haven't a clue. We routinely overestimate how happy something will make us, whether it's a birthday, free pizza, a new car, a victory for our favourite sports team or political candidate, winning the lottery or raising children.

Read how to increase your prosperity.

Money does make people happier, but only to a point - poor people are less happy than the middle class (unless you live in a society not based on cash wealth), but the middle class are just as happy as the rich. We overestimate the pleasures of solitude and leisure and underestimate how much happiness we get from social relationships.

On the flip side, the things we dread don't make us as unhappy as expected. Monday mornings aren't as unpleasant as people predict. Seemingly unendurable tragedies - paralysis, the death of a loved one - cause grief and despair, but the unhappiness doesn't last as long as people think it will. People are remarkably resilient. There are all kinds of theories about how and why things happen in our lives and how much each of us has to do with the outcome. Is there a magic formula for creating a successful life or career?

Some people are committed to the concept of goal setting. "You have to know where you want to go," they insist. "Then, you must set long and short-term goals and march resolutely forward until you reach your destination." The idea has been likened to that of a torpedo, speeding toward its target. When the torpedo veers off course, an internal feedback system makes the necessary corrections and points it back to its programmed end point. Thus, we are responsible for knowing where we want to go and getting ourselves there.

Is the best goal no goal?

There is another school of thought that agrees with part one of that equation but is a little more mystical about part two. That theory is that, if you know what you want and send that message out to the universe, you will receive it. That is the principle behind the best-selling book, The Secret, not unlike "If you build it, they will come," - the line made famous in the motion picture Field of Dreams.

As a self-help guru, you just have to reword things a little and you can pretty much resell anything that self help has ever produced. The concept of creating a state of feeling good can be labelled as a winning feeling; the freedom of outcome concept can be labelled as turning crisis into a creative opportunity. But even if these programmes do help us, like anything in self-help, even after having the absolute clarity of what you need to do to become successful in any endeavour you put your vision on, nothing is going to happen unless you do something with that understanding.

Read more about money-making gurus.

A third idea is that of synchronicity, not to be confused with coincidence. Synchronicity is when events occur that seem to be related but have no discernible cause that connects them. Coincidence is more of an accident or a fluke. The subtle distinction seems to be that there really is a reason behind synchronistic happenings; we just don't know what it is.

These are at three explanations for why some people achieve their dreams, get the perfect jobs or spouses, build great careers, or seem to always be in the right place at the right time. But if you ask these same people what contributed to their success, they are likely to say, "I had a lot of lucky breaks". Very few will take credit for setting a goal and working hard to attain it or admit it was just a series coincidental occurrences. Instead, they will credit luck.

When something good happens do you believe it is just lady luck handing you a magic four-leaf clover to clutch in your fist. Do you believe that there is no doubt about the existence of luck? Others are more mystical in their belief about a cosmic plan preferring the philosophical concept of synchronicity to coincidence. They refuse to accept happenstance; claiming that the oddest things do happen, but they are connected, even if they don't pretend to know how. The important point is what you choose to believe; some will believe in luck, while still giving credence to the other possibilities. Most feel that one theory doesn't adequately explain everything that comes our way over the years. Why is life "good" to some, and "bad" to others?

Is it just a matter of perception? That there is neither "good" or "bad" happenings, but the weight we attach to them. For example, if we "fail" at something, we should learn from that "failure", not focus on the "failure" itself. The unhappiest of mortals are those who insist on reliving the past, over and over in their imagination, continually criticising themselves for past mistakes, continually condemning themselves for past sins.

As humans are creations of their past, society, culture, even our biology (it used to be thought) demands we carry around our past like baggage. But if our genes our plastic, they we can change their programming. World history is a lot of rhetoric, uproar, mass movements; but in reality history is made by the individual, not by the masses.

In this way, it is our own negative mindset which sabotages (or second-guesses) our choices and decisions. Negativity is poison; getting rid of negative thinking patterns is important because negative thinking affect us mentally, physically and spiritually. Negativity breaks the link to our intuition - requiring us to consciously challenge our negative thought processes to replace them with positive affirmations and inspired actions.

Enhance affirmations with sensory input.

Experts emphasise the importance of stepping out of negative thinking and switching to a more enjoyable way of living life to break the power negative thinking can have on our lives. Thus, it seems that although we must look at the sky every day to remember the immense freedom open to us - we must then look within ourself to make certain that we can enjoy that freedom. Our thoughts influence the reality that we experience, and we can use them to be happy and successful.

Positive steps to self-development boosts with self-confidence, and helps us to deal with (what we negatively perceive) as our own shortcomings, goals and planning for success, obligations, and commitments. In order to make the most of ourselves we need to study the science of self.

The science of self

“The secret of health for both the body and the mind is not to mourn the past or worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
— The Teaching of Buddha (by the Bukkyõ Dendõ Kyõkai Organisation)

Every self-development guru will have his or her own theories (comprised from a body of thought that stretches back decades) or self-help concepts they will claim holds the key to unlock the mysteries of who we are, and how we can improve who we are. They do this, because naturally they want to turn a profit for themselves. Some oversimplify, some obfuscate, but when you become well read in this field, you realise that most concepts are similar, if not the same. They are all trying to be a manual to what makes you - you.

Self-imag­e psychology encompasses a person's entire being starting with the premise that a human is by nature always moving towards their predominant view of "self". Some believe that the basic self is never flawed as it is a "God-given" gift. It's what we choose to do with it that counts. We determine in large measure the course of our lives through the image we hold of ourselves. This is an extremely powerful truth: You have a self image. You act out what that self image is. So work on that image, because the ceiling on your success is your self-image. Charles Schwab said that personality is to people what perfume is to a flower.

Some experts have divided these self-images into categories of personality traits (Type A, B, C and D), which can be be ascertained through tests. Adherents to these tests to ascertain your personality traits believe the information can provide important knowledge about your health - e.g., about your potential for heart disease, high blood pressure and other negative health effects believed to result from certain aspects of the Type A behaviour pattern.

Filling out a personality quiz can sometimes be misleading and self-defeating. It's very common that someone forms a limiting belief about his or her personality and becomes stuck doing a certain behaviour, just because a quiz result gave him or her false information about themselves. But some may find it useful guidance.

Click here to take a personality test.

Followers of the classification of personality types into four major categories say this is a very accurate personality type assessment. I'm more inclined to believe that categorisation can lead to the slippery ground of labelling, and that the human personality is too complex to be described in the terms of any one personality type theory. It's not as easy as to just ask: Are you burnout-prone stressed out overachiever Type A personality? The laid back underachiever Type C personality? Or the balanced Type B personality?

Another point to consider is that you will certainly have tons of other personality traits that are not covered at all by a single theory, that's why one personality type theory is certainly insufficient to help you understand yourself well. For example, you might find that you have Type D personality traits but still find that you have some personality traits from another type such as Type C. However, the important part of the theory involves the claim that personality types can be changed.

Whether you are a Type A B C or D you can still change your personality or even change one single trait that is associated with one of those types. It's believed we don't inherit our personalities, nor we are stuck because of our genes; a Type A personality can have three children who are Type B, Type C and Type D. The approach also provides an incentive to change - once you know your "general" negative traits, you can treat the underlying causes.

For instance, it's said that Type D people by nature fear to talk about their emotions and to approach people as a result of their fear of rejection. Thus, in order for a Type D to change his or her personality he or she first needs to build self esteem (and deal with self image issues) so that he or she can stop fearing rejection. Once the root cause is dealt with, it's believed the problem will disappear on its own.

You are made up of liabilities and assets. You have within you the desire to be happy and unhappy, the will to succeed and the will to fail, the desire for self-fulfilment and the desire for self-destruction. It's like looking in a mirror and finding two different people for different times. Sometimes you will have a frown on your face and feel frustrated; sometimes you will have a smile on your face, because you feel successful.

When you like the better you, you are that moment enlarging the scope of your personality. If you choose frustration as a way of life, you undermine your personality and diminish your self-image. In other words, you and you alone can add to your assets or accumulate more liabilities. No one else can do this for you. Here are some points the experts say you can utilise to be the better you, the big you, with a better personality.

How to be a better you

• Do one thing at a time, shoot for one goal at a time.


• Live in the present. Live today.


• Live from happiness, rather than for happiness. This goes for almost everything in life, including success.


• Exercise your imagination creatively to achieve success.


• Yearn for self-improvement. Some believe opportunity never knocks; you are opportunity, and you must knock on the door leading to your destiny. You prepare yourself to recognise opportunity, to pursue and seize opportunity as you develop the strength of your personality, and build a self-image with which you are able to live with your self-respect alive and growing.


• Hold on to your self-respect by appraising yourself honestly.


• Forget the mistakes of yesterday. Yesterday has gone forever. Stop criticising yourself and stop criticising others.


• Learn to listen to others. It helps remove bias from your opinions.


• If you have a goal, reach for it. If you make a mistake, try again.


• Don't be timid in conversation. Talk even if you make a mistake.


• You must re-educate yourself to accept fear as a necessary part of growth, then move on; 90% of what we worry about never eventuates.

We're unconsciously living with barriers and limits on life, but self-improvement comes from a point of view that what you think and believe is not absolute or unchangeable. You might need to remember lessons from your past negative experiences, but you should only focus on the positive ones. You are the navigator of your mind, and applying this type of concious control to your thoughts is said to bring about some of the most staggering and sudden positive changes you could imagine.

Some approaches are scientific, some are more esoteric (or mumbo-jumbo if you like), it will depend on what sort of belief resonates with you. I am a practical person, and although I don't believe science is the only bastion for understanding, it is a verifiable one - allowing us to define practical, helpful tips to apply the theories to our everyday lives, to get results. Underlying all physical phenomena are scientific laws.

When principles are based on science, and theorists and self-help authors cite numerous experiments and studies to support their claims, you don't feel like you have to make a "leap of faith" to trust in what is being said. However, in a world where logic has let us down, some may prefer claims that are not all backed with solid logic, but offer an alternative look at how the world works.

Others stick to the view that your life isn't guided by what you think, say, or do - it's guided by what you believe, and thus may prefer more "spiritual" theories. However, the power of thoughts, words and actions in our lives (or more importantly the weight we attach to them) is clear to see. Researchers posit that 50% of our make-up comes from genetics while 10% is determined by our circumstances (like our job, marital status, wealth). The other 40% is determined by our habitual thoughts, feelings, words and actions. This is why it's possible to raise your happiness levels. In the same way you'd crank up the thermostat to get comfortable on a chilly day, you actually have the power to re-programme your happiness set-point to a higher level of peace and well-being.

Other experts emphasise that what others think about us is immaterial; the only thing that matters is what you think. When you want to do something, ask yourself why you're doing it - if you don't know, then find out - and ignore what people think. If it feels right, make yourself happy. Many self-help gurus try to place you in a system or product that tells you how to fix your problems (erroneously called self-help - you're not helping yourself, they're helping themselves to your money), but everyone is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all cure. It is going to be more beneficial if we figure things out for ourselves.

Use your own affirmations as a mind cure.

Not only is this one of our main real freedoms; it's also a journey of growth and learning that will aid in the self-development process - rather than just following some other person's system and hoping for improvement to appear in your life "as if by magic". This is why talking therapies are so beneficial (if somewhat slow process) at helping people work out their problems - it is a proven method that helps us work things out for ourselves with a qualified professional.

Restoring balance to our life

There is no doubt that we have so much on our minds these days. We take on all and be all. The minds ability to analyse, plan and communicate all that we want to accomplish day in and day out has helped us reach were we are today. It can also be a double edged sword.

Our brain can help us reason, be creative, plan and help others. It can also fill us with fear, doubt and uncertainty. This in return can be very overwhelming and causes us unnecessary stress. Experts say when we are awake we are in beta most of the time. Beta is the left side of our brain. Studies suggest we spend about 1 hour in alpha time, the right side of the brain.

Read about brainwaves here.

• Alpha (Right side of the brain): Receptive, Intuition, Present, Relaxed, Being, Listening, Imagination


• Beta (Left side of the brain): Active, Thought, Past/Future, Tense, Doing, Talking, Calculation

It is believed that meditation helps restore the balance needed, by increasing our time in the alpha side of the brain. This allows the brain to be in the present, before you interpret sensations on the beta side of the brain. Restoring balance leaves your mind and body free to do all the enjoyable activities. You will find more time for you, your life will be organized and you will be able to determine what you want to fill your life with and what you don't.

Read about the power of meditation.

There are many different meditation techniques, e.g., mindfulness, affirmations, mantras, standing-sitting or walking, chakras, visualisations, colour and light, candle, sound, fragrance, and many others. Applying one of these into your daily life will give your mind and body a break from the everyday stresses that are attacking your energy and leaving you with nothing. As an example, here is a boost for your confidence - the visualisation technique. This is believed to help you boost your confidence in any challenge you face.

1. Take a few seconds to recognise and release all tension from your body. Do an evaluation. Take a few deep breaths, then breath naturally.


2. Visualise yourself entering into your challenge with confidence. Everything about your challenge - change all negative into a positive flow. Speaking, thinking and feeling positive.


3. Keep this image in your mind as long as possible. Then after that - reinforce this new confidence with an affirmation you designed for this particular challenge.

When you are nervous or feeling tension, take a few moments to visualise some new self-confidence. Becoming aware of the two parts of our brain allows us to know where our thoughts and actions are coming from. Is it coming from present or past/future? Is it coming from being or doing? Or are we more active or receptive? Meditation can create balance between the thinking and emotional sides of our brain.

Experts say that affirmations can help boost this process. Affirmations are your desires made into statements that you read or say to yourself - but don't underestimate this simple mind technique. Experts say affirmations are very powerful processes we can use to create our reality.

To get into a higher state, however, we must say those affirmations and pay full attention to them. If we just saying them with no feeling - as if they hold no meaning for us - then in one sense it's like they're going right through us. It's like saying, "Yes, yes, yes," to someone when you've not really heard them. It's the same with affirmations. Say it and feel it. Picture it and know it.

The more real you make your affirmations, the more it will happen, experts say. You have to experience as well, you have to feel it inside. It's your feelings that create your reality, too. The more you can picture having something, and the more you can feel it, the more rapidly you will create it. So, feeling these affirmations with a sense of knowingness is a good state to be in, but if you're just saying them because you have to, with no sense of them as a truth, then it's neither not wasted nor bad, it's just simply that you're not getting the maximum results from them.

Experts warn that affirmations are a very powerful way to change your reality, but they don't work if they're merely statements of what you want to be true. Affirmations work only when they are statements of something you already know to be true. The best affirmation is a statement of gratitude and appreciation, and it's believed that a grateful idea or thought, which is spoken and acted upon, produces wonderful results - when it comes from true knowing; not from an attempt to produce results, but from an awareness that results have already been produced.

Moreover, think a thought you can accept, i.e., "My success is coming to me now,” or “all things lead to my success". If there is something you choose to experience in your life, do not "want" it - choose it fully, not half-heartedly. One key way to increase the power of affirmations some experts suggest is a method called affirmation imprinting.

The goal with affirmation imprinting is to repeat a statement over and over again, day after day, until it makes an "imprint" on your subconscious. Once this occurs, your subconscious mind will sense a difference between what it sees as being "real" and your outer physical world. This difference will cause a tension and your subconscious mind will provide you with ideas, motivation and behaviours so that your outer world will begin to match up with your inner world. Adherents to this practice claim that it will seem almost magical the way doors and opportunities open up for you everywhere in order to make that affirmation a reality.

However, in order for the affirmation imprinting to occur most effectively, the affirmation statements need to be written a specific way. Experts provide three guidelines to powerful affirmation statements:

1. They must be personal. You are going to use the words "I" and "My" in each case. For example, a proper affirmation would be "I am confident when speaking in front of a large audience", not "You are confident..."


2. They must be positive. You would state your affirmation like this: "I eat healthy meals each day." A negative, and thus ineffective affirmation, would be "I don't eat junk food." The reason given is that although the subconscious is a powerful tool, it is still rather simple in this respect. It thought to see what you are saying as images rather than words, and so it can't comprehend words like "don't" and "can't." When you say, "I don't eat junk food," your subconscious mind brings up an image of you and junk food, and you actually begin to reinforce the behaviour that you are trying to change.


3. They must be in present tense. Logically you would think to make the affirmation in the future tense, as in "I will be successful in my business." But this isn't the case. When you put your statement out into some distant future, no tension is created within the subconscious mind, and therefore no imprinting or changes will occur. When you say that you will be successful someday, you are also implying that you are not successful now. That matches exactly with what your subconscious knows to be true, and therefore no change. Just by changing that same affirmation to present tense, "I am successful in my business," it's believed you create the tension needed and your subconscious goes to work. Some studies even suggest that encouraging yourself to think in the present tense makes it a little bit easier to engage in self-control, which can help in achieving your goals.

Knowing how to write powerful affirmations is the first step, putting the knowledge to use is the second. In applying affirmations, experts provide an action plan for affirmation imprinting which many have found useful. It incorporates six steps, namely:

• Step 1: Choose a maximum of three behaviours that you would like to change. Since you are just starting out, trying to change too many things at once will greatly reduce the probability of any affirmations being imprinted onto your subconscious. Ideally, you want to choose just one behaviour to focus on. Once you start to see the effects of your affirmation becoming your reality, only then would you start with a new affirmation.


• Step 2: Get ten index cards (the 3 1/2 by 5 inch kind) and using the guidelines above, properly write out your affirmation in big, bold lettering.


• Step 3: You are going to place these ten cards around your environment so that you see them constantly. Place one by your bed, one on your refrigerator, one on your bathroom mirror, one by your computer monitor, and so on in places where you will see them often.


• Step 4: As soon as you wake up in the morning and right before you fall asleep at night, say the affirmation out loud twenty times. When you repeat these statements, speak with enthusiasm, and smile knowing that with each affirmation read, you are deepening the imprint on your subconscious mind.


• Step 5: Each time you see any of the other index cards that you wrote the affirmation on, say the statement out loud ten times, again with enthusiasm and faith.


• Step 6: When the imprinting occurs and you feel it working, you can move on to a new
  affirmation to work on.

It may seem over simplistic, but this mind technique is believed to have worked for many who have managed to maintain the discipline to carry it out. You will begin to experience a balanced inner feeling that reduces tension. It reorients you to the state of grace. This centred feeling supports your practice of learning to describe events in non-dramatic, neutral and positive language. When you practice freeing yourself from your own needlessly dramatic loops, you discover that you are practising a spiritual path of conscious wisdom.

In this way, it's believed you are learning to step back from dramatic descriptions. You generate neutral descriptions of reality. You bring yourself back to your centre. And this frees you to access your inner peace and divine soul wisdom. If higher states of consciousness are a set of choices and behaviours, then you can access the healthy states by choosing the balanced behaviours. We can change our personalities, change our lives, and use affirmations with love, for a love-affirming life.

Yours in love,