Start Co-Existing with Love

“As the year closes out we should look back in gratitude and forward with optimism. The future is waiting for adventurers like us. But the future will only be bright if we learn to co-exist - not forcibly as the farmer does with the turkey until Christmas, but with the realisation that the only alternative to coexistence is co-destruction. Now, more than ever, it's time to ring out the old, and ring in the new; ring out the false, and ring in the true.”
— Mickie Kent

It's New Year's Eve 2012 and if you've got this far, you've survived the Olympics, Christmas and the end of the world. It's time to celebrate. For me, spending a holiday break in Devon at Hotel Endsleigh means spending time in a beautiful architectural countryside - it's a place that highlights how the beauty of nature and the design of humans can co-exist together.

And in the first days of 2013, which will be as ever filled with its own unique challenges, I'd like to think that the main theme for this new year will be a greater focus on co-existence. But as countries all across the globe face difficult financial times, this may be hard to do. In the United Kingdom, large public retailers and temples of entertainment are foreclosing, while the coalition government has introduced a series of austerity measures designed specifically to reduce the country's debt levels, but their funding cuts have meant that many worthy causes are finding it impossible to continue. Yet, just as the clock strikes midnight to mark the start of another year, so too millions of people will use the moment as a blank canvas and look forward with optimism to a better 12 months.

To help with that aim, the latest advancements in medicine, technology and science need to become more ecologically minded, basing its innovations not just on ergonomics, but created with the impact of the environment in mind as well. With car congestions spewing out all sorts of harmful emissions, such as carbon dioxide and nitrogen oxide, and electronic devices making up a huge percentage of landfill waste, we are living in an increasingly gridlocked world. No-one really knows what the future holds, but the reality now is that our urban spaces are overcrowded and polluted. In two or three decades, it is forecast that about 70% of the world's population will be living in megacities. Therefore, we have to look for greener options.

Before some readers mark me down as a Luddite, let me clarify that nothing could be further from the truth. The other day, I watched a documentary where scientists demonstrated with two gadgets the advances in time travel. One sent a message to the other a few minutes in the past, and that second gadget acknowledged that message before the original one was sent. Technology, quantum physics and scientific research are digging up astounding things, and I appreciate and welcome new technologies, innovations and gadgets that will benefit humanity - but they must not damage life to do so.

Science in and of itself is amazing. Even though the rise of new inventions has brought new addictions, they also offer us numerous new outlets for creativity. Furthermore, some medical advancements are truly ground-breaking; the development of new treatments will benefit future generations in ways we can hardly imagine today. Scientific knowledge has made us architects of evolution in one sense that could in time help us to colonise other planets with life.

But we must remember that as humans, we are products of our environments and vice versa, since the environments we create reflect and affect our physical, mental and emotional health. The landscape around us has been shaped by successive generations, moulded to our needs be it for agricultural, economic or transport reasons. We shape the landscape, we shape the things we build, and then they shape us - even in the womb. As case in point, the company which invented thalidomide, a drug sold in the 1950s as a cure for morning sickness and withdrawn in 1961 after it was linked to birth defects, only just apologised this year. As a result of their product, a lot of people damaged by thalidomide are struggling with health problems in the UK and around the world.

However, not all influence is so quick to damage, or damaging at all, but its effect can be so profound as to affect our evolution in more far-reaching terms. These influences show that it's not just evolutionary necessity that has wrought our changes - our inventions have, too. For instance, historical changes in the ways we cook and eat have not only dramatically altered public health, but have also changed us physically. Bee Wilson, author of Consider the Fork - which documents the evolution of cooking and eating technology - claims that the alignment of the human jaw changed with the usage of the fork, citing American anthropologist, C. Loring Brace, who put forward the thesis that this results from the way we use cutlery, from childhood onwards.

Modern inventions seem to work in much the same way. The internet has not only been the harbinger of a changing paradigm of privacy, it has changed our social habits as more of our lives move to the virtual, seemingly affecting the way we think and act. Meanwhile research shows that the removal of lead emissions from vehicles might be linked to a fall in violent crime decades later. And with new forms of mobility on the rise, reducing our carbon footprint with new designs for the automotive industry does not seem futile - especially when we read that new temperature statistics indicate the Western Antarctic Ice Sheet is warming nearly twice as fast as previously thought.

Similarly, we need to balance our energy concerns with their possible environmental impact, while understanding, too, how extreme weather conditions can threaten the survival of many species to directly affect our food chain. Antarctic researchers are saying that what we're seeing is one of the strongest warming signals on Earth, and although in 2012 there was a UN summit in Rio - with calls on governments to eliminate world hunger and pledges on issues such as clean energy - this was largely branded as "a failure of leadership". With half the food bought in Europe and the US ending up in the bin, rather than learning how to distribute more fairly, we are experts at wasting our resources.

Likewise with the threat of global deforestation. Trees are a vital global resource, providing fuel, shelter, clean water and food for many species including people, and helping to maintain a healthy atmosphere by harvesting carbon dioxide, and it is vital that our irresponsible harvesting not remove them from our landscapes. But if we continue to act irresponsibly and treat ecological warning signals as simply a blip, like some brief disruption to a major performance, then the world will exit this stage quicker than we'd like - if not in our lifetime, then very soon down the generational time-line.

This is no doomsday scenario; it's just the inevitable conclusion of science. It is cause and effect. People play an enormous role in wiping out species and endangered animals, and what we fail to care about, we lose forever. Our relationship with wild animals is an ethical minefield - cute animals gain our attention, garner the "ahh" factor and take our money. So they survive. Or animals we see as food survive, because we want them around to consume. The animals that are not cute or tasty don't benefit from our attention; we forget about them, then when we realise they are endangered, we opine because nothing can be done.

Adherents to this view say there's no doubt that in the past, hunting and eating did wipe out entire species. But the biggest danger right now is habitat loss and the best way to prevent that is giving humanity a stake in a creature's survival (even if just to uphold the food chain). The Prince of Wales has said, too, that he does not want to hand on an "increasingly dysfunctional" environmental situation to future children, and it is indeed a poisoned chalice.

Air pollution in the Chinese capital Beijing has reached levels judged as hazardous to human health, while the meltdown at Japan's Fukushima nuclear power plant - which happened in 2011 because of human error - irrevocably changed the landscape of the country and poisoned the land. And taking gambles with frontier science will become more frequent because, increasingly, it is our scientific knowledge that provides us with the power over own lives today. But with power comes responsibility. And if holding the fate of the world in our hands is an absolute power, then it follows that so, too, must our responsibility be absolute.

Thus with the New Year finally here again, co-existence in 2013 would not be a bad resolution to make. And the way to bring co-existence into our lives is to focus on consciously creating moments of harmony every day. If for nothing else, experts recommend the principle of doing one thing each day for an entire 12 months, because at the end of the year we can bask in the satisfaction of a year's worth of endeavour.

Although being focused on the present moment is the mainstay of many life coaches, we mustn't have a blind-spot when it comes to our view of the past. While science looked to the future this year in fields ranging from particle physics to planetary exploration on Mars, to uncover yet more mysteries, it also gave us a rich view into history in 2012, with many archaeological discoveries peeking into our prehistoric past. Still, science has yet to answer the big questions on existence and the origins of life (if ever), and whether we share those origins with others in the universe. But science likes to put new spins on old questions.

Termed as a "new science", quantum physics deals with the behaviour of the smallest things in our universe: subatomic particles. Pioneering thinker, Max Planck, used the term "quanta" for the tiny particles of energy he was studying, hence the term "quantum physics". Planck said the amount of energy contained in an electron is not arbitrary, but is a multiple of a standard "quantum" of energy. One of the first practical uses of this knowledge led to the invention of the transistor.

Only coming into its own in the early part of the 20th century, when physicists began questioning why they couldn't explain certain radiation effects, some experts believe that quantum physics will change the world - or at least the way we perceive it. Unlike the inflexible laws of standard physics, the rules of quantum physics seem made to be broken.

Just when scientists think they have one aspect of their study of matter and energy figured out, a new twist emerges to remind them how unpredictable their field is. Still, they are able to harness, if not totally understand, their findings to develop new technologies that sometimes can only be called fantastic.

In the future, quantum mechanics may help keep military secrets secure and protect your bank account information from online thieves. Scientists are working on quantum computers that can execute jobs far beyond the capabilities of today's machines. Broken into subatomic particles, items might be (theoretically) transported from one location to another in the blink of an eye. And, perhaps most intriguing of all, quantum physics may lead us to discover just what the universe is made of and what or who did the making.

The formulas of quantum physics are as far from classical physics as algebra is from multiplication tables. As Danish physicist Niels Bohr is attributed as saying, "Anyone not shocked by quantum mechanics has not yet understood it." For instance, two quantum scientists are now offering a quantum theory as proof of the existence of the soul.

American Dr Stuart Hameroff and British physicist Sir Roger Penrose developed a quantum theory of consciousness asserting that our souls are contained inside structures called microtubules which live within our brain cells. Their idea stems from the notion of the brain as a biological computer, "with 100 billion neurons and their axonal firings and synaptic connections acting as information networks".

Is the 10% brain a myth?

Dr Hameroff, Professor Emeritus at the Departments of Anesthesiology and Psychology and Director of the Centre of Consciousness Studies at the University of Arizona, and Sir Roger have been working on the theory since 1996. They argue that our experience of consciousness is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these microtubules - a process they call orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR).

In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state, but the information within them is not destroyed. Or in layman's terms, the soul does not die but returns to the universe. Dr Hameroff explained the theory at length in the Morgan Freeman-narrated documentary "Through the Wormhole", aired in America by the Science Channel.

Go in search of the soul.

The quantum soul theory has trended worldwide, thanks to stories published by The Huffington Post and the Daily Mail, which have generated thousands of readers comments and social media shares. In the event of the patient's death, it was "possible that this quantum information can exist outside the body indefinitely - as a soul". Dr Hameroff believes new findings about the role quantum physics plays in biological processes, such as the navigation of birds, adds weight to the theory. he says:

Let's say the heart stops beating, the blood stops flowing, the microtubules lose their quantum state. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can't be destroyed, it just distributes and dissipates to the universe at large. If the patient is resuscitated, revived, this quantum information can go back into the microtubules and the patient says, "I had a near death experience".

If there indeed is a soul, and the mind is a conduit for it, then some experts believe we can ego-tame the mind to open our human apertures beyond our physical senses. When we gain this wider perspective of life, then co-existence doesn't become an ideal, it becomes a common fact of life. In order to progress, it's said we have to relinquish our ego's desire to be right, which is not unlike coaxing a pit bull to drop a stick it's been chewing on.

We need to learn built-in processes for acknowledging and setting aside those premature, unfounded and usually incorrect conclusions that the conscious mind is bound to make. Some see it as a novel approach - calling out your self-defeating or judgemental thoughts, rather than sweeping them under the carpet. Over time, by becoming an unrelenting observer of your own mind, the mental challenges lessen, because it gets called out on the carpet. And when you can co-exist peaceably with yourself, then you can co-exist with others.

Some experts say the mind is like an iceberg - 10% ego, 90% subconscious. If this is true, then we want to tap into that submerged block of knowledge, but we need to get beyond the ego-gatekeeper. How can we do that? One tactic that some believe works well is to distract the conscious mind by keeping it busy. Sitting on a pillow and emptying the mind of thoughts might work for some people with meditation, but for others simply keeping busy by doing work that gives value is of benefit in itself. Like anything else, practising co-existence makes it more fruitful.

Consequently, as we become more aware of our mental faculties, and rely less on physical sensations, experts say we become more sensitive and intuitive. There is even research that suggests "spiritual" people may suffer worse mental health than conventionally religious, agnostic or atheist people, because the spiritual journey can sometimes be a painful one.

Is there a meaning to life?

The search for meaning can be exhausting, and some philosophers say that an unfulfilled desire for answers may explain why some research has found that spiritual people have more mental health problems. When we we fail to find the answers, it can lead to awkward questions about life itself and our purpose on Earth. You're going on an interior mental journey. It's risky to go and try and see things from a bigger perspective. The promise is tremendous but the journey can be very painful.

But whether you think the information comes from your subconscious mind, God, invisible elfin-faery helpers, nearly everyone has experienced some sort of extrasensory weirdness in which they suddenly knew something they had no business knowing. Some will seek to cultivate their sensory sensitivities further, while some may just feel more under the influence of the planets.

Astrologers, for instance, believe people more in tune with themselves feel the energy of the planets and stars than others - because they are connecting with their true self. In such instances, people are said to discover that what astrology says about their personality and career paths can be eerily correct.

Many high school students take an aptitude test to guide them on a path that they would enjoy. Proponents of astrology say it works in much the same way - it's like a blueprint of your personality. We all come into this world with likes and dislikes, natural talents and areas where we need to learn and grow.

A professional astrologer would say that a Gemini, for example, is totally comfortable networking and socialising. Put her in marketing or sales and she's happy. Stick her in a cubicle with no human contact and she will wither. Whether or not you believe Lady Gaga when she says she was "Born This Way", as an Aries, she's a fire sign, making her naturally inclined to be high energy, very creative and fiercely independent.

if you are looking to change your profession in the new year, or in the new years to come, or looking for a new start, then as a bit of new year fun, below I provide some tips from professional astrologers to work out our own blueprints. The tips below may even help us to co-exist with new people we meet, or the people we already know - like the loved ones in our lives. Being willing to compromise over small issues rather than fighting to prove a point can make us so much more attractive in the eyes of someone special.

Co-exist with your Zodiac sign

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you are the pilot.”
— Mickie Kent

Want to know if your career is on the right track for your Zodiac sign? Experts in this field have recommended some career paths best suited for each sign. According to the professionals, the most general way to identify your natural career strengths is by your element, of which there are four in the zodiac: Fire, Earth, Air and Water, with three signs belonging to each element. Here's what the experts say your element reveals about you:

Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius): All Fire signs are natural leaders. They are high energy, very creative and independent. Like a flame — they get inspired quickly and can motivate others. However, they may burn themselves out by having too many irons in the fire.

Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn): All Earth signs are practical and grounded. They like having a plan and taking steps to achieve success. They do best in the corporate world where structure is needed.

Air signs (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius): Air signs are the thinkers of the zodiac. Don't expect them to get their hands dirty — they prefer working on a computer or brainstorming ideas with others.

Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces): The Water signs are the touchy, feely people of the zodiac. Water is related to our emotions and many excel at counselling. They are highly empathic and each sign has its own unique energy.

Looking for a more in-depth analysis of what the cosmos hold for your career? Astrologers have pinpointed the key traits, and best and worst careers for each sign, below.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) Key traits: Enthusiasm, creativity, warmth — a short attention span. As a leader, you have great ideas but dislike getting mired in the tiny details.

Best careers: Entrepreneur, sales, film/TV, stockbroker, military, rescue worker.

Careers to avoid: Any mundane, detail-oriented desk jobs.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Key traits: Determined, hard-working, loyal, stubborn. You enjoy accomplishing tasks from big to small.

Best careers: Engineer, computer programmer, technician, administrative assistant.

Careers to avoid: Any job that involves taking too much financial risk.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Key traits: Quick-witted, clever, adaptable, indecisive. You multi-task well and get bored easily so it's hard to focus on the same project for long periods of time.

Best careers: Media, advertising, marketing, journalist/writer, delivery/driver.

Careers to avoid: Serious or mundane jobs that are extremely detail-oriented.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Key traits: Caring, intuitive, creative, persevering, moody. You love to support and nurture people but can feel burdened by this responsibility, too.

Best careers: Real estate, interior design, psychologist, teacher, therapist (occupational, speech, etc).

Careers to avoid: Isolating Jobs that involve constant oversight and no creativity.

Leo (July 23 – August 22) Key traits: Confident, ambitious, creative, generous and domineering. You shine in careers that show off your dynamic personality. Plus you need to be in charge of something.

Best careers: Entrepreneur, entertainment, politics, public relations, maître d.

Careers to avoid: Any job where you are out of the spotlight.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Key traits: Detail-oriented, analytical, hard-working, yet fussy. You love to cross things off your to-do list.

Best careers: Editor, accountant, engineering, graphic design, florist.

Careers to avoid: Jobs that deal with a variety of people, who may not be as fastidious and perfectionist as you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22) Key traits: Diplomatic, artistic, intelligent yet prone to indecision. Because you are graceful under pressure, you work best in partnerships with other people.

Best careers: Architect, designer, lawyer, counsellor, behind-the-scenes in the arts.

Careers to avoid: Conventional jobs that lack creativity and independence of mind.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Key traits: Dynamic, creative, resourceful, strong willed. Outspoken and self-starting, you can only work in a career that you feel very passionate about.

Best careers: Psychologist, designer, law, humanitarian organizations or charitable foundations.

Careers to avoid: Anything you perceive as shallow or materialistic.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Key traits: Philosophical, optimistic, straightforward. You enjoy your freedoms of movement and self-expression and do best working in a field that allows you both.

Best careers: Entrepreneur, airline pilot, sports industry, police officer, flight attendant.

Careers to avoid: Any full-time desk job.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Key traits: Ambitious, resourceful, patient and authoritarian. Driven and competitive, any project you take on, you'll do what ever it takes to be the best.

Best careers: Finance, business development/management, doctor, trainer.

Careers to avoid: A financially risky job or a career where there is no room for advancement.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Key traits: Analytical, clever, inventive, and obstinate. Friendly and autonomous, you get along with most people, yet you have no problems voicing a divergent opinion.

Best careers: Apps developer, veterinarian, scientist, engineer, alternative care practitioner.

Careers to avoid: Any conventional job that discourages independent thinking or differing opinions.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20) Key traits: Compassionate, intuitive, flexible and overly sensitive. A visionary like Albert Einstein and Dr. Seuss, you work best in a situation where you can actualize what you see in your imagination.

Best careers: Artist, designer, psychologist, entertainment, charitable foundations, dog walker.

Careers to avoid: Any job that has a physically or psychologically gruelling schedule or deals with the harsh realities of life.

Whatever your star sign, putting yourself out there and making every day a step that moves you forward, is a prescription for success for the entire year. Every moment we are on this planet there is a window of opportunity for all of us; and being courageous and positive carries its own momentum that will see you through, not just for this year, but in the years to come.

Being patient always pays off throughout your self-hood, because moving forward on your chosen path is not going to be easy. Spiritual advancement gives us fire-power, but it doesn't necessarily provide easy targets. You can accomplish a great deal, not just for yourself, but for the greater good of everyone concerned. You are a major player in changing your life, and what rules the individual is our thoughts and emotions as we perceive them through all our senses.

Connect to the spirit and grow.

Experts recommend a mastery of our senses, heart and mind, but I prefer to call this mastery as a getting to know ourselves in a synergistic way, where we harmonise our modern lifestyles with our inner desires and purpose. We are in an age where power is being given back to the individual; in the news we are increasingly seeing how those in power are having to answer to the individual - for the good of the community as a whole. It's about promoting human solidarity, but also the rights of individuals to be who they want.

That is what co-existence is truly about; there is no more ruling class of the 1% running everything, we are all in this together. The individual has power, and we will be reminded of this every time we take positive action for the better in our lives. This is a time to stand up for ourselves, and for others. We have to let go of old systems that have become corrupt, change our bad habits, and open our minds to new ways of thinking and doing things.

Empowering our minds, empowering ourselves is the mantra for a new era. Moving up in spirituality will affect every area of our lives, because we are dealing with our core. It is the spine of our individuality in the body of existence. How we show up in the world depends on us. How we treat the person next to us depends on us. And when we change our old habits and lifestyles, this will transform and change us in ways we would not have thought possible.

For instance, there are scientific studies that show performing deliberate acts of kindness makes pre-teen children more popular with their peers. They become happier, and are able to build positive relationships with their class mates - and even prevent instances of bullying. Thus, simply by changing the way we treat others can take us to the next level of our own individual evolution in our lifetime.

So, let's be ready for new adventures, and to attract new opportunities. Being ready to start something new shouldn't just be at certain times of the year that focus on endings and beginnings; each new day can help us focus on starting something new. When we wake up, we can make our affirmations that today will be a new day, a new step towards the future, while keeping our minds focused on the ever-present moment we are in. It's really all about learning from yesterday, living for today and hoping for tomorrow.

It's time that we all restructured our lives so we can do more of the things we want to be doing; let's treat every day as one more step forward on the road of opportunity. Step into the consciousness of who you really are. Attempt to look at your endeavours in a new light and from a different angle, and be open to new breakthroughs. And when we do hit those bumps in the road, let's remind ourselves that they are only temporary. The message for all of us is to go for what we desire, whether than be in our careers, our love life, or in our private goals for self-improvement in terms of health and body image. Harmonise with what you do and who you are.

7 steps to creating your heart's desires

Experts say that creating our dreams to come true requires we live from our true and authentic nature. This creates inner peace. Our inner peace builds outer peace in our life and world. Creating inner peace will replace our anxiety and fear. See yourself as a powerful creator, and believe that we create our reality with our thoughts and feelings. This empowers us to laser beam in on our goals for the coming years.

Ask yourself: What are you creating? What is your heart desiring in the year ahead? What do you love and value? What gives you passion? If money were not a concern for you, what would you be doing?

The alchemy is in using the power of love to manifest our wishes and desires. If you desire greater love, prosperity, health, well-being, vitality and new opportunities to come your way, then experts recommend using the 7 steps below to your success. Use these steps as a ritual to focus on what you want to create in the next 30 days. The power of focused intention can manifest our heart's desires. Have fun creating!

• Step 1) Get into a meditative state
• Step 2) Visualise what you want, including what you want to release, i.e., anxiety, fear around money etc., uncertainty and state your intentions out loud.
• Step 3) Fill your heart with love.
• Step 4) Breathe deeply, in with the love and exhale out with the fear.
• Step 5) Release and let go of your wishes and desires surrender onto the universe.
• Step 6) Understand that you are worthy of receiving and living fearlessly.
• Step 7) Go have fun and be in JOY.

You don't want to look back on your life years from now and find your regrets staring back in a haunting depiction of the self doubt that always lay behind your fears, which stopped you from going after what you love to do. Keep telling yourself that your desires are the ambassadors to your success. Give yourself the freedom to go after what you want, and empower the individual within you. Take this time as an opportunity to harmonise all your sides, bring balance to your light and shadows sides, and to your male and female sides.

Some astrologers say the "goddess energy" will be strong in the new year, as three out of the five eclipses are lunar eclipses in 2013. Experts say this will awaken feminine power in everyone - this will mean respecting feminine values, which include peace, prosperity and abundance, and will make focusing on co-existence much more easier.

And the more balanced we feel, the more balanced the world is. There is great inequality in the world, and many believe the global economic system requires reform so that it works in the interests of the whole of humanity. But if we want equality and outer peace in the world, we must first create inner peace and balance inside ourselves - before we can successfully move away from a model of war and inequity to a new world transformation. Thus, improving our lives will encourage co-existence with fellow individuals, which is, after all, part of our human legacy.

We are culturally close to those things we have a spiritual relationship with - and it's time to add the human species to that list. We have to begin thinking as an extended family. Loving the entire human race doesn't entail losing the old identities (religious, political or other) - it means broadening existing identities. World peace isn't about minimising or masking differences, it's about celebrating them.

Moreover, being part of a society doesn't necessarily mean having to make sacrifices for the benefit of your fellow citizens, but it does mean thinking of them, and not fearing them or their differences. It is the domino effect in reverse; we will no longer knock each other down, but will help each other to stand in our tribe of humanity. Let's all focus on forward movement, and new beginnings. Keeping that in mind, here's wishing you all a happy new year, and I'll see you on the other side.

Yours in love,

The Goodwill of Love

“What does it say of us if we keep peace and goodwill one day out of a potential 365 a year? Would you bet on those odds for a brighter and better future?”
— Mickie Kent

Christmas and the winter solstice is a time of questions for many of us with Western citizenry in the northern hemisphere. In cultures using winter solstitially based cyclic calendars, the year as reborn has been celebrated with regard to life-death-rebirth deities or new beginnings far back in our human history. Concepts of birth or rebirth during this time have always been common. Also reversal is yet another usual theme - since the winter event is seen as the reversal of the Sun's ebbing presence in the sky - so it's not surprising that some see this as a retrospective time.

We ask ourselves plenty of questions about Christmas. Is it worth it? Am I sick to death with all the commercialism and all the rising prices - where the holiday season has just become one long Christmas TV ad campaign? Are we lonely? Are we too crowded? Are we stressed out by family? Where is all this supposed goodwill? And what about New Year? Have you got any exciting plans for the New Year's Eve? Have you got any new resolutions for 2013?

If one of your resolutions is to lose post-Christmas weight, then many experts are now telling us that dieting is a myth. It is not a matter of losing weight, but eating healthy, and for the long term. It looks like we need to re-learn how to eat, like we need to re-learn a lot of things. The end of December is also normally the time when we are assessing our budgets, and it looks like we need to assess our relationship with money, too. Focusing on money issues is not just about helping you budget better, it's about discovering what is really important in your life. There is nothing like the spirit of Christmas to make you appreciate what you've got.

For some of us the importance of life smacked us straight in the face when we woke to the news of the Newtown shootings in America. Twenty angelic children aged between 6-7 years old and six of their heroic teachers were shot down mercilessly and multiple times in cold blood by a twenty year old loner who gave no pause to the terrible legacy he has left behind. In many parts of America, Christmas has been cancelled, and in our household Christmas will take on a more sombre air - it will be a time to look back, and appreciate what we have - and discard what we think we really need. This year, the start of 2013 will also be a year where I try not to take anything - and more importantly, anyone - for granted.

Because it is not the things, but the people that are important in our lives. Yet, more often than not, we mark up that "importance" according to monetary values. The 100 richest people in the world earned enough in 2012 to end extreme poverty suffered by the poorest on the planet four times over, and yet global poverty still exists in our world. World leaders are pushing for austerity, but how many lead an austere life? Or we look at potential partners and their finances, and don't stop to consider whether such "good providers" are rich in heart and mind. More than ever, in an increasing technological age, people have become commodities.

Recently, Instagram, which is owned by Facebook and has some 100 millions users, updated its privacy policy, which many of its users incorrectly read as giving it the right to sell users' photos to advertisers without notification. It's a sign of the times. And some say that this is the end of times - the most popular theory being the Maya Long Count which proponents believe heralds the end of the world at this year's winter solstice. Others say it will be an end of these unconscious times, and we must look to a new year where things begin to change for the better.

It's much easier to become involved with "end of the world" scenarios than to deal with the very real notion that each of us will face our personal "end" someday. But what's more important is: How we will live today, while we are still here to enjoy this precious gift of life? It's all how you view it. Perspective is everything. And so is intent. It is within our power to choose hope or fear, change or the status quo, life or death. Are you ready to witness the end of your "old world" and the beginning of a new one for yourself?

Did the Maya predict the end of the world?

According to a Reuters global poll, one in 10 of us is feeling some anxiety about the imminent end of the world, but rather than arming yourself for Armageddon, fixate on your future - because doomsday scenarios never end. Since the dawn of civilisation, humans have often been gripped by certainty that the world was about to end. We continue to look for omens associated with the "four Ds" - doom, death, disease and disaster. While everyone is panicking over the "end" of the Mayan calendar on December the 21st, 2012 (which has spawned everything from terrible end-of-days movies to the decision to close an Argentine mountaintop to prevent the spiritually sensitive from throwing themselves off of it in advance of the apocalypse), others are looking at March the 31st in 2013 instead - because that's when the tzolk'in calendar is said to end.

Doomsday theorists say the Mayans had two calendars. The one everyone has been talking about is called the Haab' (the one with 365 days). The "other" Mayan calendar is called tzolk'in. It has 260 days in a year. And it's going to end its 13th cycle (known as a b'ak'tun) on March the 31st in 2013. Collaborate this with the science that in mid-February we will get another reminder we live in a (potentially) violent cosmos - asteroid 2012 DA14 will make a harmless but attention-grabbing pass near the Earth, at a distance just a tenth that of the Moon.

Exactly what happens in February 2013 will determine how near the asteroid's next pass will be, in 2026. But there many threats the doomsday believers could choose from - a second asteroid makes a close pass to the Earth in January. Apophis - named after the Egyptian demon of destruction and darkness - has been put on a watch list by scientists. It will make a closer pass on Friday the 13th in April 2029, with scientists calculating that in 2036 there is a very small chance it could collide with our planet on the 13th April in that year. Will anyone be alive to read this by then?

Seriously, however, at some point, we are going to find an asteroid big enough that it could cause damage at ground level if we let it hit, and if a comet helped to start life on the world, who is to say one won't end it? In earlier times, a succession of comets was greeted with less equanimity than today. When two comets passed over London in quick succession in 1680-81 there were many who were more superstitiously fearful that they were harbingers of doom. Spectacular comets had appeared in the night sky in 1664 and 1665, with many believing they presaged the visitation of the plague on London and the Great Fire the following year.

So the scenarios continue. But while sightings of celestial bodies are fairly common, some claim that although the world is unlikely to actually end any time soon, a great change (or crisis) will occur at ground level, coming not from the cosmos, but from cold hard human currency. They point to warning signs such as the economic collapse of 2008 with loss of securities, bankruptcies and investments wiped out, the riots in Europe and conflict in the Middle East.

Meanwhile, those that believe in numerology point out a numerical connection between the Maya Long Count to the planet's doomsday and the year 2013 - namely the number 13 itself. The number plays an important role in ancient calendars, although the reason for how time first began to be counted in this way is not certain.

There are those that will look at the last two digits of 2013 and see an unlucky number - but there are an increasing group of people that see the "victimisation" of the number 13 as an unlucky number as one fronted by Christianity. They say it's because 13 is the number for what proponents to this view term as "the goddess".

Read more about the number 13.

When I was doing some research for an article on superstitions and Friday the 13th, an interesting aspect that revealed itself was that the 13th as an unlucky number is an inherently Western or Christian concept which has entered our global consciousness. For example, the Chinese do not hold the number 13 as unlucky, nor do Middle Eastern or Central Asian cultures and customs shy away from the number. Some commentators note that ancient civilisations weren't in dread of 13, either, such as the Egyptians in the time of the Pharaohs.

To the ancient Egyptians, we're told, life was a quest for spiritual ascension which unfolded in stages - twelve in this life and a thirteenth beyond, thought to be the eternal afterlife. The number 13 therefore symbolised death, not in terms of dust and decay but as a glorious and desirable transformation. Some speculate the symbolism conferred on the number 13 by ancient Egyptians was corrupted by subsequent cultures who came to associate 13 with a fear of death instead of a reverence for the afterlife. However, some believe this was done deliberately, because of the symbolic nature of the number 13 and its connections to "the goddess".

Proponents of this goddess theory point out that the 13th letter of the English alphabet is M, which finds its roots in the 13th letter of the Hebrew alphabet, "MEM" (meaning mother), which was the ancient Phoenician word for water. The letter MEM begins and ends the word mayim (water), signifying the lifeforce; the ancient Egyptian word for water was "moo". Adherents to such theories see M as the most sacred of all the letters, for them it symbolises water, where all life began. It is the root of the word "mother", and by extension is said to relate to our evolutionary destiny.

While there are some that connect the number 13 to a "mother goddess", does Friday have any links to one? It seems so. If we do a bit a reading, we can discover that the day Friday is thought to be named after the Nordic goddess Frigg (sometimes anglicized as Frigga). She is a major goddess in Norse paganism - said to be the wife of Odin, and foremost among the goddesses. Others claim Friday was named after another Norse goddess known as Frida or Freyja, and scholars have theorized about whether or not Freyja and the goddess Frigg ultimately stem from a single goddess common among the Germanic peoples (as Norse mythology is a subset of Germanic paganism).

Some also believe that the name Friday comes from the Old English Frīġedæġ, meaning the "day of Frigg", a result of an old convention equivocating the Old English goddess Frige with Venus the Roman goddess of love and beauty, with whom the day is associated in many different cultures. Thus in pagan cultures at least, Friday has often been associated with goddesses, similar to the number 13 and its historical links to femininity - something Christianity has tried to shun. Critics say this is not so surprising coming from a Bible that speaks of stoning women for looking at some one "the wrong way".

One woman of the Bible treated wrongly is Mary Magdalene, who some now defend as an apostle of Christianity, rather than a penitent prostitute. Although the mainstream Christian view is that after Paul the Apostle converted to Christianity the 13th apostle became Judas Iscariot (giving it negative connotations as Iscariot is said to have betrayed Jesus of Nazareth for money), others suggest that the first 13th apostle was in reality Mary Magdalene.

The theory goes that she wasn't named as a major disciple because she was a woman - but her story is intimately linked with Jesus. She plays a starring role in one of the most powerful and important scenes in the known Gospels, but written accounts of her own Gospel (where she appears as a disciple, singled out by Jesus for special teachings and which some say is the 13th account of the life of Jesus) was either destroyed or hidden.

The whole story of Mary as a prostitute, who is fallen and redeemed, is a very powerful image of redemption - a signal that no matter how low one has fallen, one can be redeemed. Powerful as this image may be, scholars say this is not the story of Mary Magdalene. She is mentioned in each of the four gospels (selected by past patriarchs) in the New Testament, but not once does it mention that she was a prostitute or a sinner. The Catholic Church did later declare that Mary Magdalene was not a reformed sex worker, but this was not until 1969. After so long the reputation still lingers - as does the fear of the number 13 as a strong superstition.

Thus, when we look at the some of the body of research out there, it is not difficult to see how some might form a theory that the number 13 and Friday were somehow blackened by religion as a reason to bury any ideas of a "goddess" prevalent in our everyday lives. Was Friday the 13th a way to "fear" the goddess? Is it true, as some sources speculate, that the number 13 may have been purposely vilified by the founders of patriarchal religions in the early days of western civilisation specifically because it represented femininity?

Thirteen had been revered in prehistoric goddess-worshipping cultures, we are told by scholars, because it corresponded to the number of lunar (menstrual) cycles in a year (13 x 28 = 364 days). The "Earth Mother of Laussel," for example - a 27,000-year-old carving found near the Lascaux caves in France often cited as an icon of matriarchal spirituality - depicts a female figure holding a crescent-shaped horn bearing 13 notches. As the solar calendar triumphed over the lunar with the rise of male-dominated civilisation, it is surmised, so did the "perfect" number 12 over the "imperfect" number 13, thereafter considered anathema.

Moreover, originally there was red ochre smeared on the Goddess of Laussel (also known as the Venus of Laussel) believed to depict the menstrual blood, and which some scholars suggest is symbolic of the heartbeat of life itself - not just for fertility. You can see faint traces of it on her left breast in this photo of the original on the left. Click for an enlarged view after the jump.

In modern times however, this shedding of blood that leads to life has been viewed as unclean, while, for example, soldiers who shed blood on battlefields routinely are called heroes, critics say. Some scholars suggest that in the Lascaux days and before, women would bleed each month but they weren't sick or hurt, but when a man bled, it was not a good thing - which lead to its bad reputation.

So, what would men have thought, these women bleed but aren't hurt? Would they have thought in primitive times that this was something magical about women? Something to be both revered and feared? Obviously it was nature, which was later deemed bad in advanced societies, too - thus nature had to be conquered as well in the pursuit of dominance.

Read about the theory of Gaia.

Therefore, proponents of such theories say we have as evidence the menstrual blood that was deemed "unclean" and we have the 13 cycles per year - which scholars say probably did help establish the first way of marking time - but which also seems to highlight what some call as the struggle for patriarchal dominance over the world. It is a dominance that some believe has lived its "end of times" with the advent of 2013 - with many trying to steer clear of religion and go straight towards spirituality. Some spiritualists have also likened this struggle between the male-female dynamic to the left side and right side of the brain.

What side is your brain on?

According to the theory of left-brain or right-brain dominance, each side of the brain controls different types of thinking. Additionally, people are said to prefer one type of thinking over the other. For example, a person who is "left-brained" (male) is often said to be more logical, analytical and objective, while a person who is "right-brained" (female) is said to be more intuitive, thoughtful and subjective.

This theory suggests the right side of the brain is best at expressive and creative tasks. The left-side of the brain is considered to be adept at tasks that involve logic, language and analytical thinking. Thus, as an example, my erotica twin flame parables are the right brain to the left brain of my synergistic series on the mind, soul and body. While my synergistic series of articles discuss how spirituality and science can work harmoniously together, my twin flame articles delve into philosophies on love, understanding the self, and moving into a space of looking internally for answers, rather than externally.

In psychology, the theory is based on what is known as the lateralization of brain function. So does one side of the brain really control specific functions? Are people either left-brained or right-brained? Like many popular psychology myths, this one has a basis in history that some experts say has been dramatically distorted and exaggerated. The right brain-left brain theory grew out of the work of Roger W. Sperry, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1981, but later research has shown that the brain is not nearly as dichotomous as once thought. Studies have shown that abilities in subjects such as maths are actually strongest when both halves of the brain work together.

That seems an ideal suggestion for our times. It's often advised that in our world as it stands in the first half of the 21st Century, a single, concentrated form of dominance must come to an end. All its individuals must share responsibility, as a community that respects and tolerates individualism - because it is our individuality that gives us a soul, and which will give our communities a soul. Indeed, some spiritualists believe it's all about reconnecting to that collective spirit or consciousness (or "source") from which the stark patriarchal divisions over dominance in recent centuries has cut us off from.

Critics of our societies say we have become greedy, lost compassion, and that we are coming to a point of "no return" - on a destructive downward slide. We are literally killing ourselves. We can't deny our human history has a violent past; at some level humans are by nature aggressive animals. Darker themes bridge our cultures, and it's thought that war was typical in human pre-history. There is even scientific evidence that aggression may have played a key role in shaping the human body.

There is, however, also research that shows humans are hard-wired to treat others fairly, and that co-operation and fairness are fundamental aspects of human behaviour because they are central in long-term stable human relationships. American economist and political advisor Jeremy Rifkin explains in Empathic Civilisation why we need to rethink the human narrative, and base it on empathy and compassion rather than aggression and animosity.

Read 7 facts about empathy.

History, biology and sociology of the human race prove it's possible. And fairness is part of the huge debate about what makes us human: is it language, our ability to care about others - to help them without expecting anything in return - that makes us uniquely human? The evidence suggests that will while members of our animal family show signs of complex behaviours and sensations, fairness seems to be a natural human predisposition.

However, Anglo-Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, "I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy," - and the same can be said of fairness. In the view of evolutionary psychology, we were designed by natural selection to solve adaptive problems faced by our hunter-gatherer ancestors, and although peace has featured in our problem-solving just as much as war has, we cannot ignore the part violence has played in our historic evolution.

Is war an innate part of human nature?

Wanting to move past our violent beginnings as we climb up the evolutionary ladder doesn't mean we have to be in denial about our past. We would be better off if we faced the reality that we have these strong emotions and sometimes they prime us to behave in violent ways. Science is starting to show us that we have many functions which point to some deeper evolutionary justification, and I think if we acknowledged that, we'd be better able to prevent violence in future, and create a fairer society. Such recognition and acceptance will make our progression away from violence all the more worthwhile.

Unfocused anger is still very much part of our lives, however, and we have some way to go. Looking back on news events for 2012 filled with mass shootings and narcissistic addictions - it might feel like we are fitting our former descriptions pretty accurately. The most recent school killings in Connecticut has even brought the news that US President Barack Obama wants to reinstate an assault weapons ban in the wake of the mass killings in Newtown, despite a defiant gun lobby. This was previously unheard of in a country where "the gun is god", and even equated with freedom - but if true would turn one killer's dark legacy into one of hope, and change.

And if that theory is true - and 2013 is a year of great change - then we must decide for ourselves what is fact for us and what we wish to discard. Do you believe 2013 is a signal to the return of a goddess? Do you believe in a goddess? Or do you believe that it's all just a fairy tale, and the goddess is simply symbolic of nature and fertility, as created out of the reverence of our primitive ancestors? Whatever we believe, we mustn't dismiss fairy tales however; some hold important lessons for us.

In the Grimm Brothers' story of The Twelve Brothers, it is the 13th child, the princess, who both seals her brothers' fates and saves them from it. Some believe that financial crisis is once again going to rear its head in 2013, to dent the patriarchal system further. Possibly what is even more true is that whatever we freely choose to believe, we understand that the time has come for all sides (left and right) to work harmoniously together for a better future.

People everywhere are sensing that the end of 2012 is a time for differing beliefs to come together. This is not a new concept. At the World Parliament of Religions in Chicago, one of India's most influential spiritual leaders, Swami Vivekananda, called for tolerance and the end of religious fanaticism - by a strange coincidence the date was 11 September (or 9/11), 1893.

Vivekananda was the first to package eastern philosophy for the West, and his talent was in distilling complex ancient texts down to a simple message - that all religions are equal and God is inside everyone. He is virtually unknown in 2012, but his followers say he would not have minded. He did not want to be worshipped slavishly or remembered for all eternity. He just wanted people to discover the prophet, Buddha or Christ inside themselves.

Now nearly 120 years later, this vibrational energy has worked its way down to even the Christmas decorations on sale at my local garden centre - where the theme this year has taken on a decidedly Druidic air, with religious symbols merging with paganism to create some bauble bling to attract the Christmas consumer. The cynics among us would say, when money is the issue, we sure do know how to provide something for everyone.

But some see Christmas as the only time of year when the Western world collectively gives hope. The energy of this collective conscious prayer is believed to become almost magical, where it feels like any kind of miracle can happen. Most people don't believe in miracles, because a miracle by definition is an event that violates a law of nature. And we can't escape from the common reality that miracles generally only happen in movies; real life is a little more difficult.

However, some people are trying to use science to show us that a power or force outside of our understanding can bend the laws we commonly hold as true. They say that a miracle is simply a phenomena that science can not yet explain. Just as Benjamin Franklin harnessed the phenomena of lightening to make electricity available so that we can now live lives that would be thought in the time of Benjamin Franklin to be "miraculous", it is believed that through science the miraculous phenomena of transferring energy through our thoughts can be applied to benefit the planet and optimise human potential.

True or not, it gives hope for the power of goodwill, and hope is a powerful image for unity. While for most of the year it might feel that our community spirit, like our public services, has lost cohesive value, the truth remains that Christmas has evolved into a season that is about people coming together physically and spiritually - and when people come together they believe the door to miracles can open. And whether you celebrate this holiday season for religious reasons or to observe the winter solstice, focusing on unity means to focus on peace and goodwill - and to remember that enlightenment, joy and peace can never be given to you by another. The well is inside you.

Consciously create 2013

What would it be like if you could consciously create the future–creating 2013 for instance? Are you willing to experiment? Here is a process that experts in this field claim has produced some amazing results for people in past years. Use it to replace the New Year's resolutions you are about to make.

• Step 1: Imagine it is December 31, 2013.
• Step 2: Imagine you are looking back over the year 2013 and reflecting on all the wonderful, successful outcomes you had. See them. Touch them. Feel them. (The thinking behind this is that it's through the power of our emotions and feelings that we manifest our heart's true desires.)
• Step 3: Now take pen (or computer) in hand and write yourself a letter describing everything that happened in 2013. What do you have in your life on December 31, 2013 that you are grateful for? It maybe a new job, career or business; perhaps you have resolved a major problem with a relationship and/or you have met twin flame. You may have a new home, a more stable financial situation, better health, a changed lifestyle where you spend less time working and more time doing the things you really want to do. (You can work less and make more life.) Whatever it is, write it down. Be specific. For instance, if it's increased income say how much.
• Step 4: Now, take a look at each item and see what action steps you took during the year 2013 that produced the wonderful outcomes you are enjoying. Write those actions in your calendar, indicating when they took place. Again, be as detailed as possible. For instance, to increase my health, well-being and vitality I have made a commitment to stop eating processed foods, drink more clean water and exercise three times a week on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
• Step 5: Now, put the letter away and look forward to pulling it out to read it next year on December 31, 2013 when you compare your letter with what you actually did. The experts reassure us that we will be amazed by the outcome. Especially if you take the action steps you wrote down as you come to them on the calendar during the course of the year.

Astrologers are also advising that this is a time to do with our future vision, connecting with others, discovering our spirituality and questioning our past beliefs. More of us are looking up to the stars, and wondering if life is a gift solely bestowed upon our planet. It is also clear that in almost every direction we look, and in every way that we look, there are planets around stars capable of inhabiting life near and far - the catalogue currently stands at 854 confirmed planets, and is growing with every new publication released by astronomers.

Other experts say that these areas pushing us to question our lives, and to seek improvement, have energised the last month of 2012 to harmonise and support the change that is coming. The general advice is to feel good about the future and the steps we need we to take, and to really look at things from an expansive view. Take the broad view as you look at your life, and what you want to see happen in your future. It can be exciting, but change can also be frightening. This is why experts also suggest you focus on the positive, to remove from your life what no longer serves you and surround yourself with supportive energies.

Really it's about keeping that peace and goodwill harnessed in December throughout the whole year, as we put ourselves out there to bring change into our lives. For some of us that will mean connecting with our inner child and who we really are - and from that inner self we create our future, and the life we really want. The challenge is to avoid negative thinking, or even to think that the aim is to always strive for perfection. The aim is to strive for harmony - or as I like to describe it, a synergy with our life.

Focus on improvement and being pro-active in your life. It's been often said that there is an opportunity in every crisis, so make it a point to see the good in the world and to stay positive. That can be a challenge when so much of the news we see daily is froth with fear and troubling news, but take just one minute and think about how you spend each hour of a typical day, would you smile or would you sigh?

Would you be ecstatic about what you achieve and accomplish each day or would you regret not doing what you really wanted to do? Do you wake up each morning feeling passionate and excited about the day ahead?

Read how to discover your passion.

Henry David Thoreau is quoted as saying, "most men lead lives of quiet desperation ... and go to the grave with the song still in them." Is this you? Because most of us do walk around not taking their lives seriously. We don't think about how we spend our time to really live and to truly feel alive. And by "live" I mean doing what you really want to do.

Do you ever get that spark inside you, that feeling you get that excites you when you think about things you love, but that you tend to automatically ignore because you don't trust it? It could be it's telling you something. Call it what you will: an inner voice, intuition, coming from the heart, or that gut feeling - it's informing you to your truth. It's telling you to listen to it. It's telling you to act on it. But maybe it's been so long since you've listened to that voice inside you that you've forgotten how.

Is the heart like a brain?

Experts say you can't afford to ignore your inner voice if you want to create a life of your own design, and be happy. It's about starting to trust life again - to follow your path, follow that voice, follow your dreams, so you can be happy, feel alive, and live in your passion. Use it for house-cleaning your soul and release what no longer truly serves you - whether it's ideas, beliefs, habits or lifestyles.

Rather than being cut off, cut loose from negativity. Give that as a Christmas present to yourself this holiday season. If you feel like it's time to build something new, then allow yourself the space and opportunity to pursue your dreams. If there ever was a perfect time, experts are all unified in saying that now is the time to harmonise with our world and build the life we really want.

Instead of living a life of quiet desperation, live your life to the fullest. You may not be able to control outside factors, but experts suggest you can control how you react to circumstances - making you the navigator of your life. How strong is your sense of connection to the world, to the environment, to others - or to "source"? How strong is your sense of connection to who you really are, and what your life is really about?

What do you really want to create in this life? How do you nurture yourself, and others? What is it that no longer serves you - is it your job, lifestyle, beliefs, a living location, a relationship? Resolve to find out.

Click here for 5 ways to change your life!

These are important questions, because change (in the best of times) is always about expansion. It's important to make friends with change. When this change relates to you, it means expanding who you are and expanding your dreams and vision - where you search for ways to become one with your inner child you might have so often ignored in the past. Purge the past. Holding on only causes suffering; letting go releases you.

Avoid negative thinking and negative people as this is what drains us. Put aside power plays and power struggles, and distance yourself from them. This will free you to look to your main business, which should be to bring more love into your life, and hold its goodwill as the only franchise we refuse to buy or sell.

As we all consciously create a new year for ourselves, we should feel ready to connect with our world and our human family. It's true it can be hard to stay positive when the world is going through such chaotic changes, but change can also be a cleansing energy. It's a fresh approach to life through fresh eyes - and with a new vision comes new ideas and new beginnings. It is how we will truly create a fresh world view.

Ask yourself: What is your work in the world to be? How will you activate your creativity? Whether we believe we are channelling the "goddess", or whether we simply listen and learn from the parables of nature, experts say that we can use change as a time for expansion and to take action. It is more than just men and women embracing their "feminine sides" or rooting for "girl power". This is your time to be your authentic self - it is time for the individual to live from the heart.

Shifting our awareness

We are often told by the experts that when we stay positive, the universe matches that with positive results. Sometimes a problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking; we have to shift our thinking and go higher (in our awareness) to solve problems. Climbing higher in your thinking and thinking outside of the box is all about shifting your consciousness. It can seem like hard work, but focus on the positive, even if it's just having a hot cup of coffee on a cold day.

Happiness doesn't have to be complicated. Anything you take action on and put the initiative in will bear fruit, because of your readiness for new beginnings. Experts emphasise this empowerment is not coincidental - the next five years is all about the individual. Those reading this in 2017 will be testament to that; the focus is all about a return to individual freedoms. Although it will be through the mutual reception of the collective community as a whole, the focus will be on the framework of freedoms to explore our individuality, and on what makes us human and gives us a soul.

Thus we can look to spiritualists, look within, we can look to science, or we can look to all three for the answers for our origins. By the end of the second millennium, the big bang theory had provided an outline for understanding the origin of the universe - but the history of science shows that when scientific problems and questions on life have found answers, new questions always arise.

In the scientific arena, the textbooks are constantly being rewritten. It is a reality that scientists often disagree over real science, and progress is yet to be made on explaining free will and consciousness; but there is a growing acknowledgement that the problem of consciousness is a "hard" problem by many. Hard in the sense that the standard methods of science provide no traction in dealing with it. This is why some scholars now believe the range of application of scientific laws may be limited when it comes to the mind.

Read more on science and the power of the brain.

Researchers all over the world are understanding more about what goes on in our brains, but the realm of consciousness is a different matter. Why might this be so? Well, scholars tell us that knowledge results from an interaction between knowing subjects (a scientific researcher) and a known object (the thing being researched). To gain empirical knowledge though scientific research we subtract the knowing subjects and their experiential interactions from the results of scientific studies. For instance, in doing natural science, focus is on the objects in nature, not the knowing subjects - so as to achieve objective, observer independent data.

However, when we turn to the mind, which is the core of human subjectivity, we have no data, because our method has been specifically designed to filter out subjective data. In other words, because the scientific method has been designed to be objective - which is beneficial in dealing with the objects of nature - it filters out data on subjectivity. This is the very thing we are trying to study when we are considering the mind. That is why consciousness is a hard problem for the current scientific method - and thus raises the possibility of a world that, beyond some fundamental level, lies outside the reach of our knowledge.

Consequently, we can seek wise counsel through meditation or other people that have wisdom, but we also have to be aware that enlightenment or higher consciousness won't necessarily give us all the answers - just all the ones we want to believe in, because awareness is empowerment, not omnipotence. It's the power to consciously create what we want in our lives. Experts in this field believe that we create our reality through our thoughts and feelings (through mind and soul) - and that real change comes (and therefore must begin) from the inside out.

According to the authors of a World Economic Forum (WEF) report, even governments need to tap into this greater awareness to pay more attention to the risks that might lie ahead and prepare accordingly. And if 2013 is indeed a year of higher consciousness (where we see left-right duality consciousness replaced by unified one), then we want to be creating from a consciously higher state. Creating what we don't want is when we are creating unconsciously (such as from our fears), and experts say we need to focus on being concious creators because we are moving into a unity of consciousness where we recognise that we are all uniquely individual, and yet all one.

We have a oneness together, and we are connected to each other through the heart of us - that divine spark in us all. It's time make a commitment to a new start and to yourself - to use your energy to create what you want, and make your happiness infect and inspire others to the end of a greater good.

And it doesn't matter how you measure time - whether it is in hours and years, or more likely in love and relationships - for all of us the lesson is clear: Time is precious. It is also elusive and finite, but the things that give us hope - love and unity, faith and family - somehow transcend even the boundaries of time.

Ultimately, a good life is one where we are loved coming into the world, and loved going out, while sharing all the beauty in between. Thus to end with that thought, I want to wish all who celebrate the holiday season a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and to wish everyone - whatever you choose to celebrate - that peace and goodwill become a permanent fixture in your lives this holiday season and beyond.

Yours in love,

Finding the Spirit of Love

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
— Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180)

Human beings have debated the ultimate purpose of life throughout recorded history. If one wanted to participate in this debate, he or she could make a persuasive argument that the ultimate purpose of life is to search for truth. Search rather than find, because to find truth in the broadest sense of the word would mean that you would have to know everything, and many stipulate that omniscience and human beings don't match up too well.

Arguably this opinion holds a lot of water when we are faced with natural disasters - and with a series of post-apocalyptic scenes filling the year of 2012, at no time have we been more keenly reminded how precious life is. Those affected by hurricanes, or at the mercy of the elements will know that without power, water and even our homes, we can feel very small indeed. And as our hearts go out to everyone in the living community during times of crisis, we also search for the truth to it all.

Today, science tells us that our dramatic weather shifts are neither acts of the wrathful gods, nor a force of nature unto itself; rather these are our own actions coming back on us. This is more complex than a "reap what you sow" mentality, because obviously the stranded victims of Hurricane Sandy, for example, are not directly to blame - but if we are to look at the truth of climate shifts, then some say humans as a species must hold themselves accountable.

Who knows what we've done to the climate; in how many places did we cut down too many trees, in how many years of accumulation how many chemicals did we let loose into the atmosphere to trigger this response? Thus it's been said, we are punishing ourselves - as a repercussion of living an unconscious lifestyle with our beautiful planet - and nature is indifferent to terms of "innocent" and "guilty". Whatever the results of our past actions in previous generations, we all suffer the consequences.

In this context, it's safe to say that 2012 has been a period of soul-searching for many of us. Some believe that when the energy in the world is that of chaos and destruction, nature responds in kind - with the purpose to clear out that energy and allow a new start from a cleaner slate. Proponents of such beliefs say that the way we've been acting for generations has not been aligned, or conducive with peace and harmony, and is causing a disruptive energy, making it hard for many people to stay focused on one thing or another during such times.

Astrologers are echoing this, too, with talk of Mercury in retrograde lending a helping hand. They believe this retrograde is all about sudden change and the challenges it brings, and they endorse that, at times like this, it's worthwhile to take care of yourself, to catch up and prepare for what is next on your agenda - because whatever challenges do come to pass, they too shall pass. And getting ready to ignite your power, in alignment with your higher purpose, when the time is right, is all about empowerment and learning to act - and react - to events on your own terms.

Astrologers believe this will be enhanced when coupled with the total solar eclipse on the 13th and 14th of November in 2012. Total solar eclipses are thought to be the most powerful transit we can experience. They are said to herald major endings and beginnings, exposing our deepest desires, our worst fears, and our cosmic destiny.

Embrace new beginnings

We can get very emotional at goodbyes, even if it doesn't mean that our lives will be incredibly different, because all goodbyes are an ending of sorts, like the closing of a door. Experts suggest that if you've ever found it hard to let go of an experience, person or place, then you can try their top 3 tips for new beginnings.

1. Don't worry! I was told when I was younger not to worry and when I asked why, the answer was: "If something is happening that is within your control, then either accept it or make the decision to change it. If you're in control, there is no reason to worry. On the other hand, if something is outside of your control and you do not have the ability to change it, there's also no reason to worry."

   Either way, when something is happening in your life, experts tells us it's happening for a reason - because of a decision you've made, or because you are being forced to change and do something new. Worrying will never bring you any good so look at your situation for what it is and embrace it into your life rather than creating unwanted stress or anxiety.

2. Manage your mind. This goes along with the first point. Once you have stopped worrying about what is inevitably happening in your life, start filling your mind with positive thoughts. Change and new chapters of life means new experiences and growth. Without change, we could not change. So alter your perspective, look at your new beginning from the eyes of someone who has wanted this their whole life, and focus on all the great things that could come of it.
3. Appreciate the past. When we embrace new stages of our lives it doesn't have to be sad. It doesn't mean we have to forget all the times we had together and memories we created. Instead, be thankful, happy and grateful for what you've experienced (yes, even any tough times) because it has gotten you to where you are right now. Smile from what you've learned along the road and for the strength and knowledge you've gained. Be proud of things you've accomplished and be excited to tackle something new as it will help you develop and become wiser.

Remember you have the power to control your outcomes and how you feel every single day, by collecting "amazing moments". So, go out and make spice up every day with an amazing moment, and be grateful for where you are right now and where you're going to be tomorrow, next year and in twenty years from now.

Thus, it is at such testing times experts recommend we dial out the noise of the world listen to our inner voice. Search for your hidden strengths and your truth - what is truth for you, when are you ready to take your life to the next level? We must keep in mind, too, that we need to "own" all of our being, even what some call "our dark side" as it holds our untapped potential.

We need to embrace our shadow side, and express it, so it has a voice, and thus give power to all of our self. Even if there are sides of our personality we don't want to shout about, we need to acknowledge all parts of our being so that you can answer how you define your individuality, what you want to achieve in the world, how you make things happen to make your cosmic destiny and future vision come true.

What is your future vision? This is where you see yourself in the future, your spirituality, and your beliefs. Will you be busy getting inspired, and uplifting and inspiring others with your passion? Will you be living from your heart? If so, what are your heart's desires? Experts in this field say we shouldn't settle for less than we desire - we should go after our dreams.

Read how to discover your passion.

Therefore during challenging times, you need to let challenges flow through you. Ride the evolutionary growth wave, and focus on what you can do to overcome, not what you fear will overcome you. Discover your emotional truth, and embrace your dark side - you must love both your dark and light nature to create wholeness, balance and to tap in to your hidden strength, power and resources. Release the past and what no longer serves your highest good.

This can involve setting boundaries with others, with yourself, evaluating relationships - who do you trust, who can you trust, do you trust yourself? It's seen as good time to take a look at things, to clearing karma in relationships and in your life.

Do you know where you're going to?

In the overwhelming fast pace of modern life, experts say it's all too easy to get lost in the fog of doing, rather than being. By slipping your life into mindless automatic drift, you could end up in unhappy, unplanned places, regretfully wondering how you got there. Instead, take these recommended simple steps to awaken your life journey.

1. Play with the possible: Your imagination can be used as a mental escape hatch. Rather than trying to grit your teeth and get through an unhappy present, play with thoughts of what's possible in a happy future. There are several inspirational stories where former prisoners of war, used their imagination to mentally escape from their cramped and filthy holding cells. They vividly imagined being reunited with their families, going fishing, starting their own business, winning at golf. Not only did they manage to hold onto their sanity, in many cases they went on to actually enjoy the previously imagined experiences in the future.
2. Choose wisely: Which one of your possible futures would give you the greatest pleasure? Do you have the skills and the resources to achieve this possible future? You must choose which destination you will pursue. Remember that choice means that you decide where you are going to focus your attention and energy. Do not get caught up in the foggy world of indecision or you will delay focusing your attention on taking specific action.
3. Back to the future: While making life decisions can be difficult, you must look at future consequences as objectively as possible, weighing all the present facts. These decisions are highly personal and will impact significantly on your future and that of your loved ones. Putting off tough decision making will not take you closer to your desired future, only being honest about your feelings and logical about the possible future consequences will. The best way to break free of this indecision is to:
   • Project the future consequences of not making a decision within a set time frame.
   • Project the future consequences of the two possible choices that are most attractive to you.
   • Choose the outcome with the greatest benefits both immediate and long term, with the fewest drawbacks.

Times like these are very powerful periods in our lives. We want to forgive ourselves and others and release all resentment, so that we feel lighter and freer - not necessarily because we want to keep those people in our life - but so that we feel better and can move forward. Emotional cleansing is all about new beginnings and fresh starts - it is a good opportunity to re-evaluate (and revalidate) relationships and your life, and see how things are working for you. Some experts describe this as an expansion of conciousness.

Astrologers say that this particular time is also a time of Pluto, which is about power, and shifting power, which is very clear when we look at the world today. Some believe that America is losing its economic dominance, the superpower is loaded with debt, much of it now owned by China. While others worry that China, growing in strength and having a larger say in the direction the world takes, will regress human evolution.

Martin Jacques, writing for the BBC, has suggested in his articles that the way Chinese people see the world is inherently racist, and China is absent of democracy. Chinese politicians in power try to devalue the individual in favour of the political party, which conversely leaves the country's governing power in the hands of closeted individuals behind closed doors. Meanwhile the cost of China's growth to the ecological system is well documented. While we are trying to grow out of these medieval traits, many fear Chinese dominance could push us backwards into the Dark Ages once more.

However, some political theorists say that if Barack Obama wins a second term to the presidency of the United States in 2012, then he will bring about a new economic force, which will change everything about the way the American economy works. Some say it will also reshape the world's monetary flows, for at least the next 50 years.

It will make millions of Americans vastly wealthier, and improve the standard of living across the entire American nation. It will give him an unprecedented public mandate. Some conspiracy theorists even believe Obama will use this power to reshape the country, to possibly redraw the rules that govern the presidency and seek a "third term".

Are conspiracy theories destroying democracy?

Naturally, the presidential elections in America have been filled with such theories and scaremongering, highlighting how, increasingly, Americans live in their own separate liberal and conservative worlds, listening to different media, barely conversing. And instead of steering the ship of governance, it seems the crew are throwing punches. The more America has become polarised, and we have watched it from the outside, the more it feels like Americans have been searching for their truth, too.

No matter where you live or what you think about the American election or its candidates, the conclusion of the presidential race has meaning for us all - because we can use it as impetus to help us in our own lives when we become divided and polarised. It starts with adding value. If you add value to the world and help solve one another's problems, you can build a great life and even rebuild a great country. There's virtually no limit to the positive results you can achieve when you make service to others your overriding priority.

Although emotionally experts suggest we should surrender during challenging times, and try to stay detached, making tough choices should not be avoided. In our own lives, we need to be the power and own our power - but at the same time create a balance with others. We don't want to run roughshod over others, this will unconsciously create imbalance in our lives; we want to have relationships with others with the understanding that power brings responsibility. Thus, China and its growing influence, for better or worse, will have to learn it's not alone in the world - it's not bigger than the world - and that the future is not about dominance, but about partnerships.

When the leading countries of the world bully each other and anyone that disagrees with them, it sets a terrible example. Everyday we teach our children that bullying is wrong. We tell then not to be mean, not to pick on other kids, not to tell lies or spread gossip, not to belittle or ostracise others.

What real people do (and real leaders of real superpower nations do) is to add value, solve problems, and help one another. Just look at the response to Hurricane Sandy. The people along the Eastern Seaboard united, and were on the streets helping one another. No one cared who the other person was voting for in their upcoming election. Instead, it was all about lending a helping hand and working together.

A spiritual parable: Life is like a cup of coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savour the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

We need to realise that in the pecking order of things, we are not a civilisation or nation first; we are foremost individual human beings, and a family member of the living community on this planet - which includes the planet herself. We should never forget that order of importance. And there is one small statement that captures the essence of the human spirit, to persevere. Our willingness to endure can be the difference between success and failure. That's the living community I choose to be a part of, and it's a choice that anyone, anywhere, can and must make for themselves.

There is only one ruler of your dreams - and that is you. What you do with your dreams is up to you and YOU alone. No world ruler controls whether you live your life fully to the existence of your dreams. No political party dictates whether you should put adding value to the world above all else. Those choices are yours, and yours alone to make. You cannot allow external factors to change your internal vision. If you can weather the storm, you can still make your life into anything you want it to be.

And the American public, too, can transcend their divisions, and choose to come together and add value, rather than involve themselves in the partisan politics tearing their country apart. No one sets limits on how much value you can add to the world. No one but you. And because we are all in this together, it must be about giving and receiving, not bullying and taking. Therefore, as much as we listen to our self, we need to listen to other people. too.

Challenging times can also be about re-evaluating other people's approaches to life, and this can create a win-win situation, because we can all be right. I can be right as I'm doing what's right for me, you are right because you're doing what's right for you - and it is this that creates powerful coalitions and relationships. This is what really feeds our spirit, and this is why some experts suggest that the more difficulties we face, the more we should turn to love. Loving the things you desire draws them to you; when you love them, you love life. Life was meant to be lived in freedom, truth, joy - and as our greatest adventure.

Searching for your truth

When you declare your desires, you announce that you choose all the good that life has to offer, because your desires are the stuff of life. However, experts also recommend if you're trying to make something work and it's not flowing, to let go and surrender. When you're stuck in a tricky situation, you may find yourself momentarily in "escape mode"; if so, experts emphasise that at times like these you should be okay with that, too - you can turn it into taking a step back to view the bigger picture. But look at where else in your life you tend to escape from, and your patterns around that, as well, to see if you are always trying to escape from your problems, rather than analysing them from a distance.

In a way, this type of detaching oneself from a situation to search for truth is purposeful as it can help us move on, and life is likely to flow more easily after such energies settle down, to bring opportunities for progress that we might have missed in the heat of the moment. For many, this concept is difficult to comprehend because "detachment" is often associated with terms like "uncaring", "cold", "indifferent" and other "negative" or non-serving connotations. In the metaphysical sense, however, experts say the truth is quite the contrary.

To be detached in any given situation doesn't mean that we don't care about the end result. It simply means that our overall happiness is no longer dependent upon how it all ends. It means that the rest of our day can't be ruined by a single event. For example, those individuals that read this in the future, will be privy to whether Obama reaches a second term of presidency or not, and will know that whatever the outcome, tomorrow is another day. Thus, higher consciousness is rooted in the present moment - or what some term as the Now - and detachment is one of the tools that we can use to get us there. When chaotic events are swirling around us, detachment can bring us peace and calmness when all else fails. Metaphysically, detachment is our way of observing the chaos and not reacting to it.

Adherents to this method believe that detachment keeps us rooted in the Now. Whether the event is happening to us or to someone we care to, detachment keeps us centred and sane in an insane world. There is no law that says we have to invest an emotion in every single event that occurs that happens to disagree with our belief system. The truth is that our brains have been trained to react, over years and years and years of programming, to anything to which our belief system disagrees. We react, or show resistance, in the external world according to a belief system completely created by past experience.

Rewire your mindset for success.

Because it is rooted in the past, this belief system has no purpose whatsoever in the present moment - no matter what is happening - and, therefore, neither do the reactions. Experts say this is all good news. External cause/reaction has a strong metaphysical snowball effect that occurs in mere seconds. Consider the numerous opportunities we are given each day to react to challenging situations. If we act upon each opportunity with fear, we only confirm ourselves to more of the same, day after day. We can stop this cycle by detaching ourselves, and retraining ourselves to look at this another way.

To practice detachment, experts say we should start with trivial events and work your way up. The next time you feel even the slightest irritation (the start of a reaction), use it as a signal that reminds you to be present. Step back from it and imagine yourself transparent to the cause of the irritation. Let it pass through you. Imagine this without feeling a reaction. This is detachment.

For example, invariably on the subject of true love, I have been asked the question many times: "How do I know if it is true love or not?" And my answer is that first and foremost the relationship must be based on truth. So practise detachment. It's a very hard thing to do (and I speak from experience), especially when it comes to relationships, but if we step back and take a long, hard look at where we are in our present love life - we'll discover that we had the answer to that question all along.

To liberate our consciousness, we simply must be rooted in the present moment - and detachment is a good method for doing just that. Even if the whole world seems to go insane, you have a responsibility to yourself to perpetually search for truth. When people all around you are losing their heads, the surest way to keep yours is to be vigilant about basing your actions on truth.

Be critical in thought

All actions, regardless of their nature, produce results. A bank robber gets results. An individual who is inconsiderate and rude gets results. But these aren't the kind of results most of us are after. What we want are positive results, and positive results tend to flow from truth-based actions. "Negative" results (or more accurately, those which don't serve us), on the other hand, tend to flow from actions based on falsehoods or delusions.

It's often been said that the truth is the best friend you will ever have, because, unlike people, it will never desert you in your time of need. Think of truth as a compass that points the way to actions that are in your long-term best interest. This is why your search for truth must be ongoing and in conjunction with an action-oriented life. If you ever feel as though your inner source has not come through for you, experts will usually suggest that it could be because your actions have not been in accordance with truth.

Unfortunately, although the importance of truthful premises is clear, truth is not an easy proposition. For one thing, truth can sometimes make you unpopular. In extreme cases, it has even cost people their lives. Italian philosopher Giordano Bruno (burned at the stake as a heretic) and Socrates (forced to drink poison after being accused of corrupting youth by questioning tradition) are two well-known examples of this.

As a baseline, then, some believe anyone searching for truth must desire truth more than popularity. It's been often said that fools are often among the most popular people in society, which is a good reason not to allow your search for truth to be stifled by the widespread masses or distracted by the glitter of superficial role models - telling us constantly what to wear, how to look, what to do, or - worse still - who to be.

If you look at the social web, these days it may feel like a lot of people are willing to give up critical thinking in exchange for having someone else tell them what to think. For instance, when we emulate the lives of the celebrities; fidelity can feel like stupidity. But celebrities can also show us the danger of ego. It's like a drug you can't kick; a showcase of what turning into self-absorbed ego-driven beings can do to you. But this is more than superficial stuff versus life; it's about what "truth" you want to fill your life with. And in the search for it, what it tells you about yourself.

This is precisely why, some experts recommend, you must learn to question everything, especially so-called conventional wisdom. In the words attributed to Buddha, "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." But, in a twist to prove the point, did the Buddha really say this?

Because I use inspiring quotations, I like to make sure that the statement I'm quoting is accurate and was actually made by the person in question. There are many quotation sites that do no fact-checking at all and that are full of inaccurate, false, and wrongly attributed quotes. Because these sites endlessly plagiarise each other, these false quotes end up all over the internet. Some Buddhists believe it's ethically problematical to pass on the message "the Buddha said such-and-such" without checking out that he actually did say that. Otherwise it's not dissimilar to gossip, although presumably better-intentioned. It's a shame that other Buddhists even join in with this trend, especially when it distorts the Buddha's teaching. Because we need to know what he really said, in order to make up our own minds whether we agree with it or not.

Although the Buddhist scriptures are vast and I can't claim to have read all of them, unless I'm mistaken, the above quote seems to be a poor paraphrase (not necessarily a false quote) of part of the Buddha's teaching to the Kalama Sutta. And assuming I'm correct, while the alleged Buddha quote says you should trust your reason and common sense, in the Kalamas the Buddha says you shouldn't trust "logical conjecture ... inference ... agreement through pondering views ... [and] probability". Collectively the Buddha's list of things you shouldn't reply on would seem to overlap totally with those the quote says we should reply upon.

Buddhists will inform us that the Buddha of course isn't saying we should jettison reason and common sense. What he's implying is that both those things can be misleading and what's ultimately the arbiter of what's true is experience. It's when you "know for yourselves" that something is true through experience, that you know it's true. (Also, we can rely on the opinion of "the wise". This doesn't mean accepting other people's opinions blindly. It means that in your experience you can come to know that certain people tend to have a clear perception of what's true and helpful in terms of spiritual practice, and so you don't have to go around making every mistake under the sun in order to establish that they are in fact mistakes.)

The alleged Buddha quote, however, displaces the role of experience in spiritual practice in favour of reason and common sense, which Buddhists would think is very questionable. It suggests learning is something that happens in the head, rather than something that is gained through living, and it allows us to dismiss anything that contradicts our prejudices (some would say common sense is often nothing other than clinging to established views).

Another distortion of the Buddha's views can be found in another quote attributable to him, "He is able who thinks he is able". Now you may agree with this sentiment, but it doesn't mean the Buddha did, or Buddhists do. In fact, Buddhists would say this is profoundly unBuddhist-like.

I'm always open to correction, but the Buddha didn't strike me as being an advocate of "positive thinking". The Buddha's actual position seemed to be more, it doesn't matter what you think you are, what is important is what you do. Naturally, most experts on positive thinking will also advocate that it needs to be coupled with inspired, positive action for our positive thoughts to manifest into reality.

Moreover of course, the Buddha encouraged the development of ethically positive thinking, which is thinking free from greed, hatred, and delusion, and imbued with wisdom and compassion. But the idea that you can do something just because you think you can is one he'd have seen as being itself delusional. And some Buddhists believe that when we look around at the world it seems self-evident that it's full of people who over-estimate their abilities. And this has been well-studied by psychologists, some of whom say we overestimate our competence, for example, meaning that too much confidence in your abilities might make you less successful.

Yet, isn't it better to over-estimate, than underestimate our abilities? And arguably, any cited studies will have examined people's pattern of overlooking their own weaknesses, when to be completely balanced, positive thinkers say we must also embrace our dark sides, and be grounded in the reality we live in - not act in avoidance of it.

Read why you shouldn't avoid reality.

Visualising reality as unchangeable, however, or untenable, or out of our control won't help us transform - it simply means we have built our walls even higher. When what we really need is a leg-up to unleash the potential we have to be the best person we can possibly be. That is the real truth of who we are, and only we can know our capabilities in our search for it. And I'm not talking here about the search for "a truth" or a search for "the truth". What I'm referring to is the search for YOUR truth.

As case in point, when I write an article like this, it represents the results of the search for my truth. Whether you accept some, any, or all of my opinions, I will have accomplished my purpose if the results of my search inspire you to embark upon, or intensify, the search for your truth. And when you discover it, to recognise its true worth and to value it.

Find value in the life you have

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”
— Epictetus (AD 55-135)

In the search for your truth, ask yourself: If the world ended tomorrow would you be happy at how you lived your life? Did you try hard enough to make the best of yourself - whatever that may be? Would you have done yourself justice? Or will you have just let your life pass you by? Have you been selfish, lacked responsibility and drive, and lacked compassion towards your friends and loved ones? Or did you always try to impress others because you were not impressed with yourself?

Be honest with yourself: Do you lead a self-centred existence where you take your life, loved ones and material comforts all for granted? It's a certain malaise of entitlement where, when we take things for granted, we forget to desire the things we already have. And if there was an apocalypse in less than two months than now, and life as we knew it was wiped out - what would we miss the most?

This may sound morbid, but the Roman stoic philosopher, Lucius Annaeus Seneca recommended we mentally rehearse the loss of everything you value such as friends, home and family to make yourself appreciate them more. Those who suffered hardship at the hands of Hurricane Sandy will know what it means to drastically reassess your life; and for those of us lucky enough not to have gone through such an ordeal, we can use the doomsday scenario of 21st of December 2012 as the date for a second chance at change - as a motivation to change what isn't working in our lives.

Thus imagine for a moment that the 21st of December doomsday date did come to pass; use it as a transformational period. See it as an opportunity to change in a powerful and positive way, and to realise the value of what you have. Question yourself on how you lived your life up to that time. What do we value most when everything is taken from us? Can we learn the value of the life we already have, and have taken for granted and are wasting? What can we do in the face of such loss to bring out the best in us?

Importantly still, how can we tap into our physical, mental and emotional well-being in times of crisis to make sure we can use our courage, brain and heart to give us bravery, compassion and decisiveness when we need it the most? Can we powerfully change our self-image to show decisiveness and leadership, courage and responsibility? How can we achieve new levels of courage, selflessness, leadership and most of all compassion - to aid us in our greatest times of need?

Which leads to other (and possibly more revealing) questions: Why is it we only recognise the value of what we have when everything is taken away from us? Should it take a hurricane to remind us to be grateful for the things we have, or to change the way we live our lives? But no matter the frailties of human nature, we can also take good out of conflict - strong storms can come as a warning, and a force to blow away the superficial concerns of the day to remind us of what is really important, and to give us an opportunity to band together.

As already mentioned, we take this as a time to re-evaluate what really matters to us, and also remind ourselves how precious life is. And that every moment we are alive is an opportunity to change our life. Because we can change. It's all a matter of perspective, and to "see" things in the right light. We just need to feed ourselves the right information. For example, the colours of the objects we see all around us are determined by the way light interacts with those objects. For instance, an object that reflects red light but absorbs other wavelengths will appear red to the human eye.

All of life is based on such universal principles, or laws. It is said we cannot (or should not) create or alter principles; only try to discover them, and, once discovered, find ways to use them to our advantage. A principle is a natural law that has always existed and will continue to exist as long as there is a universe. A principle is the essence of truth.

The foundational principle of the universe, as well as all aspects of secular life, is well known to everyone: Actions have consequences. If I push you (an action), something will happen; i.e., there will be a consequence. You may fall down, you may stumble, or, at the very least, you will feel pressure against your body. You also may get mad at me, walk away, or push me back. The point is that I cannot escape the reality that my action, no matter how small, will have consequences. Where I start to invite problems into my life is when I delude myself into believing that I can push you without there being any consequence at all.

Thus, experts say, believing that one can create his or her own principles is a futile and dangerous way to live life. Of course, a person has a perfect right to go on believing whatever he or she wants to believe, but truth isn't discriminatory. It will mete out consequences just as harshly to a well-meaning, ignorant individual as to one who is malicious and self-delusive. Not once has truth excused anyone for being well meaning.Put another way, adherents to this view believe truth is stoic in nature; it doesn't concern itself with human intentions.

Truth overwhelms everything and everyone in its path. It matters not whether a violation of truth is intentional or a result of poor reasoning powers; in either case, truth yields the same consequences. There are even studies that seem to suggest the more healthier we are, the more truthful we become, equating truthfulness as part of a balanced nature. A study from Bonn University has been said to show that men with high levels of testosterone tell the truth more, or find less to reason to lie. Medical News Today wrote:

Does testosterone makes men more honest?

Testosterone is a well-known male hormone which affects many aspects of a man's life, but it may also play a part in altering social behaviour, including lying. Men who have more of the hormone seem to lie less frequently than those who have lower levels, according to Professor Dr. Armin Falk, from the University of Bonn, and colleagues.

A recent study revealed that in "make-believe" circumstances, individuals who were administered testosterone lied significantly less than those who were given a placebo.

Testosterone is a hormone which stimulates male characteristics, including muscle building, sex, and libido. The hormone is also found in women, but the levels are much lower.

Lying is an act which is at best frowned upon and at worst seen as a serious sin in many cultures and religions around the world. Dr. Falk concluded: "However, lies play a great part both in the business world, as well as in personal life."

When people lie, it is normally not solely to benefit themselves, but to help or "protect" someone else. The professor added: "However, there are very few studies on the biological causes of lying. In this regard, the study has allowed us to make a big step forward."

In the short term, of course, truth can be violated. A rational life, however, is based on taking actions that result in long-term success. Fortunately, history has repeatedly demonstrated that time is extremely kind to truth. As Winston Churchill put it, "The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is." In simple terms, the more often your actions are based on truthful premises, the more likely you are to achieve success in all areas of your life.

And if, as the Buddha believed, we need experience, then the purpose of physical existence is all about living through challenges. You are in physical existence to learn and understand that your energy, translated into feelings, thoughts and emotions, causes all experience. It's said there are no exceptions to that rule, but there are many variations.

Some of us need conflict; for them it makes life exciting, and it is true for some that conflict can makes us feel, make us learn - conflict is in our nature. Why is it if we want to be rich, happy or thin we have to read about it in a book, but all the negative stuff comes easily? Is valuable experience gained only through suffering? And must we constantly be reminding ourselves of that suffering, to appreciate what we have in life?

For some that might be true, but it is also true there is no "one-for-all" road-map to happiness; existence is tumultuous enough without being enslaved by what doesn't serve us. Unfortunately, the ordinary man or woman looks for the solutions to personal problems outside of the self, where they can least be found, experts say. We internalise our experiences, but the false beliefs must be weeded out so that the conscious mind can become aware of its source (the inner self) once again, where the true experience of a universal mind resides.

Others believe we are beings unlimited by nature, born into flesh to materialise as best you can, the great joy and spontaneity of your nature. But is happiness simply about detachment or mastering (or giving in to) our emotions, where we have no more ups and downs, only ups? It's believed by many that peace is not the absence of affliction or conflict, but the presence of spirit throughout it. Is the quest for happiness, then, about being calm with all life throws at us? Or is it working together to co-create a world of peace and blissful global consciousness to push us through to the next stage of our evolution where greater enlightenment might bring happiness?

Read about the philosophy of happiness.

Or is happiness simply being happy with and valuing what we have, and not always reaching for the unreachable? Is happiness a commitment to yourself? Some would argue that is not selfish; the only person you can trust is yourself. If truth is our only friend, then we don't need any affirmation but our own truth; we should eliminate the relationships in our life that do not serve us.

However, while surrounding ourselves with support and like-minded people is beneficial, some of us may not just want "yes-men" around us. It depends on how we really grow; some achieve happiness holding onto the throttle of life, some by spending time by themselves, with their loving and supporting self. And as happiness has a myriad of routes to its centre, so, too, does suffering at its core.

Click here for 40 tips to a happier life.

But while the Buddha always came back to the suffering in life, in my experience I have always been led back down to the same destination - to "Love". Call it by any other name, and it is still "Love". Or attach the word love to all the other descriptors and markers in your life - as I do to the title headers of my articles - and it comes much to the same thing. Love heads my life; it adorns the title headings on my blog posts, and in my daily living. For me, it is the key that unlocks the answers to many questions.

The highest thought is always that thought which contains joy. The clearest words are those words which contain YOUR own unique truth. The grandest feeling is that feeling which we call love. Joy, truth, love. All the same thing when you come right down to it. These three are interchangeable, and one always leads to the other. It matters not in which order they are placed.

There is only one purpose for all of life, and that is for you and all that lives to experience the fullest glory of love. Does it matter whether it is real or not in our experience, if it is real to the truth of us? Everything else you say, think, or do is attendant to that function. There is nothing else for your soul to do, and nothing else your soul wants to do.

The wonder of this purpose is that it is never-ending. Love, like hope, is a good thing, maybe the best of things - and no good thing ever dies. An ending is a limitation, and love's purpose is without such a boundary. Should there come a moment in which you experience yourself in your fullest potential, you will in that instant imagine an ever greater potential to fulfil.

Our cosmic destiny might not be greater than this: The more you are, the more you can become, and the more you can become, the more you can yet be. And it's at that moment we realise that finding the spirit of love in actuality means fuelling the spirit with love. What we put into it, is what we'll get out of it, and to bring our true selves out, we need to find the truth, and love, within.

Yours in love,