The Science of Twin Flames-2

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When you think about it, our lives are so fragile and yet we are so willing to commit our lives to another for a lifetime. We have a human need to interact, and we are driven by this need, but do we sometimes mistake this need for true love? And how can we tell the difference between the two?

It is the stuff of popular fiction: You search for that certain someone. You know that you'll never find anyone else like them, because like everyone else, there is no one quite like them - but you want to find some opposite them, that mirrors or compliments you. If you believe in twin flame love, you believe "the one" is out there for you, but we're all attracted to people all the time.

A lot of men and women are clearly friends, but often one of them will be harbouring some form of attraction for the other. It may never be consummated for the sake of friendship, but some even blur the separation between friendship and sexual relationships, as with the so-called "friends with benefits". But is attraction only the germ of sexual frisson? What is it about the science of attraction that governs our lives?

What is it that attracts us to others, and what is it that others find attractive about you? With millions of people to choose from, why is it so difficult to find that perfect someone? Or if we're in a relationship, how do we know if that person is the right on for us? The media, social pressures and human nature itself have turned it into a mystery.

Walk past the magazine rack at a grocery store, and half of the women's magazines offer to help you answer the mysteries of attraction, though they usually phrase it the opposite way, as in, "Is he the one? Our quiz will tell you!" We're surrounded by images of celebrities and glossy perfection. We're given rules about dating through books, websites and the press. They all pressure us to conform to an ideal of what is attractive.

When we meet a person for the first time we undoubtedly draw a conclusion about them. For twin flames, it is said to begin with the eyes, but in general we make a judgement on what type of person we think they are, and possibly subconsciously we decide whether we like them or not. But is it possible one aspect of their personality, one trait or detail can affect how we perceive them? Would we judge a generally good person as bad, because of their views on religion, or a joke in particularly bad taste, or how much money they have? And is the reverse true? How good is our judgement really?

We may stay in a relationship which is bad for us, because one good quality blinds us to the negative aspects of our partner, or makes them seem more positive. This is known as the "halo effect" - when one good quality spills it appeal on to other elements of a person's character (like in processed foods where one "healthy" ingredient may hide a multitude of sins). Some say that a belief in "twin flames" is risky, because it might create this "halo" effect, but believing in the good will of love isn't a mask we can wear lightly.

We have to be open and honest, and unconditional in our respect for each other, otherwise the love isn't "true". Yet, we all feel pressured to project an image of ourselves that act as window dressing to pull in the crowds. It is a particular problem when it comes to "sins" such as alcohol and food, but we all want to project a positive image of ourselves to the people we interact with.

People also have unrealistic expectations about what other people are doing, or what other people's relationships are like, and that does affect how they treat or are attracted to others. We buy into the idea that great sex is how often we have it, so if we are not making love constantly with our partner, we must be failing in some way. But we shouldn't let high, unrealistic expectations dictate to us how we should be having sex and set up ideas about what is normal. This can disease us against love.

So, the question then is, what should we trust in? In the first part of this three-part mini-series looking behind the "science" of twin flame love, we looked at how the law of physics tells us there is an eternal energy that can neither be added to or subtracted from, but which we process as part of life. We need to process it physically to be "alive" in a sense, and this affects our understanding of what it is to be alive. One theory is that we should put our trust in how we "sense" this energy.

Sensing, the ability to detect and to react to the world outside, is fundamental to life. Every living thing is able to respond to its environment. There are many finely tuned senses that have evolved across the planet as the way we detect the world - the natural and the preternatural. The emergence and evolution of these mechanisms that gather information about the outside world has helped us thrive in our environments; our senses have pushed life in new directions and may ultimately have led to our own curiosity and intelligence, some scientists believe.

Can we trust our senses?

It is said that in order to be human you need life, feelings and senses, and therefore, when it comes to twin flame love, putting our trust in our senses may not sound like such a bad idea - because it can help us see and make sense of our relationships. We are constantly being forced to rethink our whole understanding of the way in which the human senses operate, but trusting and effectively using our senses when it comes to human interaction is a skill we can hardly afford to do without.

To illuminate the world of the senses, imagine yourself in pitch darkness. Normally reliant on our sight, the darkness can feel like a different world, where we have to rely on our other senses to form a picture of our environment. Our other senses, particularly hearing, becomes heightened to help us do that - we will focus on sounds we might otherwise miss when our world is illuminated. It is a perfect example of how are senses are vitally important to allow us to live the lifestyle we do.

As well as the dominant senses of hearing and sight, we have a range of other senses, touch - which is really a mixture of sensations such as temperature, pressure and pain - and then there are chemical senses like smell and taste. We share those senses with almost everything living thing on the planet today, because they date back virtually to the beginning of life on Earth. For instance, simple organisms living in water will detect and respond to their environment by using touch in the same way living things have been doing for over a billion years. They do this with no known form of nervous system, but by using electrical energy.

The mechanism that powers the touch response of simple organisms lies at the heart of all sensing in animals and is based on an electrical phenomenon found in nature. An electric current is a flow of electric charge, and for that to happen you need an imbalance between positive and negative charges. Usually in nature things are electrically neutral, the positive and negative charges balance out exactly, but there are natural phenomena in which there is a separation of electric charge - the thunderstorm is a good example. Such a separation creates a voltage between the clouds and the ground, and because nature abhors an imbalance it will try to correct this by having a flow of electric current. In the case of a thunderstorm, that is a bolt of lightning.

At some point between the sense and the brain something similar happens; it's the same process that governs and powers our very cells. Although the same electrical mechanism underpins all sensing, every species has a different suite of sensory capabilities that is adapted to the environment they live in. In humans, some argue that twin flame love is a potential battery for power, too, and as we use our senses to make sense of our surroundings, we can use twin flame love to sense (and make sense of) our Self.

Can twin flame love help bring balance to our sense of Self?

In terms of human interaction, love can hit like a thunderbolt, too; it sharpens our senses, somehow makes us feel more human, and more alive. But whether that love is the "one and only" or whether it is born out of some temporary need, for longevity both need to be sustained in a relationship. It is a very rare relationship where at some point our hope and faith is not shaken, because it is based on the sensitivity of our senses. The electrical charges given off to bring balance and equilibrium to a relationship can be tiring, and although feelings are a pathway to self-discovery, it also leads to as many questions as it does answers.

Our sensory world maps our universe, a heady mix of tastes and concentrations, flavours and gradients; the way we perceive the world is determined by our environment, and no two creatures see the world in the same way. Like every other animal, we have evolved senses that enable us to live in our environment. Our senses helps us to build up a picture of our world; they equip us for present living and score us an advantages over our habitat. There is a phenomenon of the blurring of the senses called synaesthesia - where people who suffer from it use it to there advantage to perform amazing feats, for example of memory, because words will have taste to them.

It can also help us understand our distant evolutionary past. All sensing has evolved with one specific function to provide us with the information we need to survive - and nowhere is this more clear than with the sense of vision. Ninety-six of all species can see, and every eye on a molecular level works the same way to detect light, telling us it's a very ancient mechanism shared by a common origin or ancestor.

This leads us to the cutting edge of scientific research, as scientists try to pinpoint that common link, but what is certain is that the basic chemistry of vision has been established for a very long time. It took tiny steps of evolution throughout the Earth's expansive time-line to have a fully functioning eye that creates a vision of our world, and to make humans the visual animals they are today.

To make sense of all that visual information, we need to process it. However, our brain would be overwhelmed if our eyes took a series of still images and sent them to the brain, and the function of our visual system is not to transmit images, but information to the brain. So instead, our visual systems have evolved to extract only the information that is necessary. A study of Neanderthal skulls suggests that they became extinct because they had larger eyes than our species. As a result, more of their brains were devoted to seeing in the long, dark nights in Europe, at the expense of high-level processing.

At first sight, simplifying the visual world into relevant bits of information is something we all do. Thus, we all need to see the world differently for our survival. How we perceive love through our environment, and through past relationships will differ greatly from person to person - even twin flames, and as a result affect how we perceive with love. Thus, although twin flame love is found, it still has to be "made" in a relationship. How easy or difficult this will be, all depends on perspective - how we look at things in relation to the bigger picture.

Love is a process of the senses

Looked at philosophically, it is easy to assume that we humans look at our world in an objective way, but that's not the case at all. We see the world as reflected light and hear the world as a myriad of low and high scale frequencies, but how do we feel the world? Through love, through the "heart" so to speak? But what evolutionary advantage do our hearts confer on us? Is the drive that gives us meaning, the will to live? Although we are dominantly visual beings when it comes to finding our twin flames, it doesn't mean blind people, or people with missing or mixed up senses, do not have twin flames. Other senses such as "blindsight" is said to make up for them, and each unique challenge in a twin flame relationship will have its own purpose.

It might even be an advantage. Indeed often our vision can be clearer if we "see" with the heart. It has been said that to have a good grasp of life, we need humour, joy and some laughter that comes from the heart, and why else do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss and dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen, but only felt by the heart. But what are the connections to the subconscious mind? What is the mind/heart/body connection? We have heard of the "battle" between the brain and the heart when it comes to love - but is there one when it comes to the senses, too? We need the brain to conduct the senses, but do we also need the heart to "feel" them?

Is the heart like a brain?

And who really knows how the human heart works? Many are confused by or have misunderstood what the "heart" is. Are we talking about the heart organ, or are we talking about the energy centre in the area of the heart? What are the differences? Or is it just all one involuntary muscle activated by electrical impulses, generated by feelings which we go on; like a human caldera; stony on the surface, with volcanic chambers of nervous energy and self-loathing churning deep below. Some say the heart indeed goes have a mini-brain of its own that helps regulate our mood, but in psychological terms, when we attend to sensory inputs, we can focus and become more aware, and understand life and the world around us better.

Some spiritual approaches talk about "mastering" the senses for more control over our lives. When we attend and tune our senses to our twin flame relationship, for instance, we can get in contact with the core of our twin flame partner, and thus create a stronger link we can put our trust in. Focusing on our senses can heighten our feelings and emotions that help us bond with a loved one, while sex is also a vehicle for sensing and attending to our senses.

Subsequently, cleaning out our minds, nurturing our intuition, and listening to our hearts may all help to heighten our senses, make us more aware of our feelings and the feelings of others, and help us in our relationships. Using our senses in the correct way help us to forge stronger links with our loved ones, nourish our relationships, and are connective pathways from one heart to another. We may find love, or love may find us, but it is up to us to make that love "live" within the physical constraints of a fulfilling relationship - and in this sense we don't find love, we make it. It is in our hands how we script what we are given.

As our bodies are governed by the physical laws, so, too, our relationships our governed by laws. When we create a healthy environment in which a relationship can grow, this is the best way to sustain the love we have. There is no better science behind a long lasting relationship, and it is one which adheres to what makes love the twin flame kind. This also makes us intelligent to the workings of ourselves, and what we need to do to make our relationship last and overcome any challenges.

As sensing has played a key role in the evolution of life on Earth, there is thought to be a link between sensory processing and evolutionary intelligence. The first organisms were able to detect and respond to their immediate environment, and as animals evolved and their environments became more complex, their senses evolved with them. Now, our senses let us decode vibrations and detect life, allowing us to build a three dimensional view of our environment, and stimulating a growth of brains that could handle all that data.

For example, to be able to visually extract more information requires more processing power, which requires a bigger brain. The evolutionary drive for greater processing power is about making the most of the information our eyes can provide. For humans the desire to gather more and more sensory information has become overwhelming, where we look to the stars and look inside to expand our horizons with sight that uses our eyes and our hearts. The more enlightened we become, the more awakened our senses become, the more aware we are of our surroundings in ever increasing levels.

We now know there is more to the universe than just our own galaxy; and we use technologies to extend the reach of our senses further than we could have imagined. Telescopes have helped us perceive and comprehend stars and planets billions of light years away. Similarly, we can use spiritual approaches like meditation or tantra to extend our senses in our twin flame relationships. There is great feedback in our senses. Scientifically, the increase of the amount of data delivered by our senses drove the evolution of our brains. Those increasingly sophisticated brains became curious, and demanded more and more data.

To this end, we built gadgets that were able to extend our senses beyond the horizon, which showed us a universe billions of years old, containing trillions of stars and galaxies. And our senses tell us that it is our insatiable quest for information which is the making of us, and our insatiable quest for love that is the drive to push us to greater things. We can use our brain to develop some remarkable abilities, and love shouldn't be a battle between the head and heart, but a twin flame relationship in itself, complimenting each other in harmony.

This is true, because if we are to exist then we need to find ways to understand ourselves and the truth of the world we live in. And truth, like love, exists, because only lies are invented, and love is not an invention on the part of wishful thinkers. Science has shown us that it is too complex for that. And to the cynical, love might seem like a germ that infests us or confuses our senses, but even if that were true, it is a germ that doesn't need eliminating, because like our senses, it's a fundamental part of what makes us human.

Read the complete three-part series: -1 -3

Yours in love,

The Science of Twin Flames-1

Click here to attract your own twin flame NOW!

If life is the thin line that separates the living from the dead, then love is the motivation for us to walk it. And, for those of that us that believe in the eternal love of twin flames, there is an interesting theory as to the science behind why some of us feel this way may be found in that most enduring of questions: what is life?

The traditional answer for many is one that invokes the supernatural, and our fascination with death. The popularised celebration of Halloween and spirits coming back from the dead is one such example. However, twin flame believers offer an alternative answer that preoccupies itself with life: one that is bound up in the flow of energy through the universe, and which can be answered with scientific rationality.

Today, virtually all living things derive their energy from the Sun. But there's a paradox to this, as according to the laws of physics energy can neither be created nor destroyed. This is a fundamental law of nature, known as the first law of thermodynamics, which is that energy is neither made nor destroyed - and this has a profound implication. It means energy is eternal. So, life doesn't "use" energy up. It can't remove it from the universe. The energy that was there at the beginning has always been there. But how does energy enable living things to live?

One scientific theory claims life to be a conduit through which energy in the universe passes, just one part in a process that governs the life cycle of the entire Universe. By diverting energy in the cosmos, living things are able to grow and thrive. And whilst this flow of energy explains living things, life persists because of its DNA, which is a record of the evolution of life on Earth, one that connects us to everything alive today and that has ever lived.

On the basis of this, some put forward the theory that there is intelligence in everything, and all "stuff" is in one way or another "thinking stuff". There is a mental programming present within the matter that arranges the atoms, molecules or subatomic particles in a particular manner. Every single elemental type of matter has its own default state at room temperature. That is because, some believe, it has a mind, consciousness or memory to exist in that state and have its corresponding properties.

Do human cells have memory?

Some even argue that our emotions can get trapped in our cells, and that when you have emotional trauma, ongoing stress, or just regular negative emotions, it can all be trapped in your cells to severely limit your health and cause chronic illnesses. The belief is that all matter is basically one and the same. All matter is different manifestations of this universal energy, merely condensations of its highest state or form. Even thought which is conciousness, and consciousness is mind comes from what some describe as a universal mind of which ultimately all things consist.

Thus energy gives us life, and life endures through cellular memory and our DNA. In this sense, life isn't really a thing. It's a chemical process, a way of tapping into the energy flowing through the Universe and transmitting it from generation to generation through the elegant chemistry of DNA. Far from demanding a mystical explanation, the emergence of life might be an inevitable consequence of the laws of physics.

Thus it can be said that as life, so, too, does twin flame love come from this energy that has been around since the dawn of the universe, and endures each "lifetime" by passing its specific energetic frequency on the record of our DNA. If it is true that our DNA can be affected and corrupted by toxic environments - how we are nurtured in the womb and outside of it - then it also explains why not everyone finds their twin flame, or why not every twin flame relationship survives.

Can our DNA be rewritten?

No matter how unscientific it sounds, this idea that there is some kind of soul or spirit or animated force that makes us what we are and persists after our death is common. Virtually every culture and religion has that deeply held belief. And there's a reason for that. Because it feels right. It's hard for us to accept that when we die we just stop existing, that we are just this life, emerging from nothing more than an inanimate bag of organs.

And if we are to say that science can explain everything, then it is incumbent on science to answer the question of what it is that animates living things. As Lao Tzu would put it, how did we go from being formless to having form? For millennia spirituality has been evoked to explain what it means to be alive and the origins of life itself, but it's only recently that science has begun to answer these deepest of questions.

In February 1943, the Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger (famous for being one of the founders of quantum theory) gave a series of lectures in Dublin where he asked what is life. Schrödinger didn't believe life was mystical, or some magical spark that animates our bodies. He saw life as a process, the interaction between matter and energy described by the law of physics and chemistry - the same laws that describe the falling of the rain or the shining of the stars.

Is there a quantum theory to the soul?

And our very atoms are made from the extra-terrestrial chemistry of stars. The story of the evolution of the universe is said to be the story of the transformation of energy from one form to another. The origins of the first galaxies to the ignition of the first stars to the formation of the first planets, every single jewel of energy today was present in the big bang over 13 billion years ago. Potential energy, held in primordial clouds of gas and dust, was transformed into kinetic energy as they collapsed to form stars and planetary systems just like our own solar system.

In a bit of celestial magic, that transformation of energy led to life on earth, and to us. Science says because we are processors of energy, the answer lies in how we process this energy. Like our landscape, our bodies and minds can be violently or peaceably transformed by energy. From which the first sparks of life came, water, for instance, can reserve or hold chemical energy like a battery. To make that energy useful and create into power we can use, all we have to do is complete the circuit. Twin flame love is believed to be similar, coming from this eternal energy, and activated deep in our cells and DNA when we encounter the same special frequency to complete the circuit, and spark life into a twin flame coupling.

Likewise, it's thought that first life on our planet might have somehow completed a circuit by exploiting acidic and alkaline waters to create the first spark of life. By exploiting this spark, it's believed that this magnificent complexity of life assembled itself on our planet, which itself was created from nothing more than collapsing cloud and dust. In twin flame mythology, some say that the original being or "eternal energy" (phrased by some as "Adam Kadmon" from the religious writings of Kabbalah meaning "original man") carrying the male and female polarities must come together to complete the circuit, and thus create the "spark of life" in a twin flame relationship.

Subsequently, some have adopted the Taijitu symbol as a symbol of twin flames spiralling into infinity - or the eternal energy - with each carrying the same identical soul blueprint. Although we believe that one carries the "male" polarity and the other carries the "female" polarity, these polarities are more akin to electrical charges such as protons (an atomic particle that has a positive electrical charge) and electrons (an atomic particle that has a negative electrical charge) of a battery, or the essence of yin and yang as represented by the Chinese Taijitu symbol adopted by some twin flame experts.

The symbol is a circle divided into two by a curved line in the shape of an S. Half of the circle is dark, while the other half is light. Within the dark part, there is a white dot, and within the light part, there is a black dot. This signifies yin within yang, and yang within yin, and in Daoist or Taoist philosophy it is seen as an endless cycle.

Yin and yang are actually complementary, not opposing, forces, interacting to form a whole greater than either separate part; in effect, a dynamic system. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, for instance shadow cannot exist without light. And these polarities are not restricted to gender, as is often misinterpreted by some twin flame experts, and so many mistakenly believe that twin flames are solely confined to heterosexual relationships.

Twin flames are soul lovers, and soul has no physical gender. According to the twin flame mythos, somewhere in cosmos, each one of us has our very own divine other, who carries either the feminine or masculine polarity. This soul memory of our twin fame is so powerful, that we can feel very alone in this world, as we search for that promise of that original perfect love, the twin. It is believed that no other love can compare to your own twin flame, and that it is indeed like a "spark" that brings us to life.

And deep within ourselves, the chemistry that first life exploited in ancient deep sea vents underwater, is wrapped up in structures called mitochondria - microscopic batteries that power the processes of life. Mitochondria are the cell's power producers. They convert energy into forms that are usable by the cell. Scientists think that, because living things still get their energy from what are known as proton gradients today, if we are looking for a universal spark of life, then proton gradients is it.

Indeed, some say twin flame couplings can be described as proton gradients coming together, too, to process an eternal energy, and power the cells of the soul. Indeed, some twin flame proponents say that true connection to the soul (and to one's Self) is not wholly possible without the spark of a twin flame coupling to power the universal soul.

The immortality of twin flames

Virtually every living thing on the planet uses proton gradient energies to live, because science tells us that all the radically different forms of life share the same ancestor, which possibly lived in ancient undersea vents 4 billion years ago when naturally occurring proton gradients provided the energy for first life.

In 4 billion years that spark has become a flame of magnificent diversity that covers our planet today. We have a beautiful, intimate and complex relationship with the world and living things. Illustrative of this, deep within the energy-harvesting machinery of plants lie distinctly quantum tricks. Quantum mechanics starts with the simple idea that energy does not come in just any amount; it comes in discrete chunks, called quanta. But deeper into the theory, some truly surprising - and useful - effects crop up and we still don't understand much of it.

For example, some parts of the established scientific community now say the vibration of energy even produces smell, but it still has yet to gain general consensus. It is still a tentative, even speculative discipline, but what scientists are learning from it might just spark revolutions in the development of new drugs, computers and perfumes - or even help in the fight against cancer.

Science tells us that for every form of life on the surfaces of our planet, whether directly or indirectly, we use universal energies from the Sun to power our processes of life. However, as the laws of physics tells us that life doesn't eat up or remove this energy from the universe - because the first law of thermodynamics shows us that energy is neither created or destroyed - how does energy sustain life, and does it compliment the "science" behind twin flames?

To understand that we have to understand what happens to it as as the cosmos evolves. In the first instance after the big bang, there was nothing in the world but energy. As it changed from one form to another, galaxies, stars and planets were born. But while the total amount of energy in the universe stays constant, with every single transformation something does change - the energy itself becomes less and less useful.

Like grains of sand that soaks in the Sun's energy during the day and then releases that energy back into the universe when night falls, this energy is of "a lower quality", meaning it can do less. Thus we take high quality and ordered energy, and turn that same amount into low quality disordered energy. We take in energy from the Sun and give it off as heat, a lesser form of the original source.

This descent into disorder is known as the second law of thermodynamics, which states that everything must decay. As time passes, every single joule of energy is converted into heat; the universe cools to absolute zero until with no ordered energy left the cosmos grinds to a halt, and every structure in it decays away. However, it's believed that twin flame love processes the disordered energy into a "small world of order" by energising our DNA, before releasing it back into the universe again.

Within twin flame love, the concept of yin and yang is seen as the great ultimate, a blending of the universal and the personal, or the universal working within the personal. Imagine the dark part as the pure source energy or the "universal" (the universe is believed to be made up mostly of dark energy and dark matter), and the light part as that heat energy expressed through us, or the "personal".

Viewed in this way, twin flame love can be said to be eternal energy that is expressed through two complimentary polarities to spark into life the cycle where the two parts blend as one, to process that energy and return it back to the universe. More importantly, because of the two-part process rather than the single processor or one human being, it's thought that the energy is re-ordered, and the cycle continues without atrophy, or decay. This is why many see twin flame love as imbued with healing properties, too - while those blessed with having children passes on our DNA to another generation.

Because while the universe is "dying" according to the second law of thermodynamics, everywhere we look life is still going on. Schrödinger was well aware of this deep paradox of life continuing to evolve while the universe is decaying away. When physics tells us the universe is tending towards disorder, most physicists believe this second law of thermodynamics to be an "iron" law that will never be broken, and that immortality is a dream. Twin flame believers see twin flame love as achieving that immortality.

Read ways to live to be 100.

Through the eyes of science, though, the key to understanding how life obeys the laws of thermodynamics is to look at both the energy it takes in and the energy it gives out. Heat is a highly disordered form of energy - so we are radiating disorder out into the universe we take from the ordered energy of the Sun.

By converting chemical energy into generating heat, life transforms energy from order to disordered form in exactly the same way as every other process in the Universe. Every single human being generates six thousand times more heat per kilogram then the Sun. And it's by converting so much energy from one form to another that life is able to hang on to a tiny amount of order for itself - just enough to resist the inevitable decay of the universe. Twin flame couples believe this process is doubled by their coupling, not just creating more heat, but actually creating an ordered form of energy.

Heat is essential to being alive, and although we borrow order from the wider universe and then export it again as disorder, it is not entirely balanced either. We have to export more disorder than the order we import (because although the quantity of energy is same, it is of lesser quality) in correspondence with second law of thermodynamics - so we all shall burn out in time, as shall the brightest star. And as physical structures we have to obey the law of physics. It is the same for twin flame love - for it to process its potential it has to be nurtured within a physical relationship in a healthy environment.

Therefore it's believed that in this way, a twin flame love should be like the energy the Sun gives to the Earth, unconditional, for only then will such a relationship light up the sky. And if living things can be explained by the law of physics, then the same laws that explain the shining of the stars and falling of the rain must be able to explain how we fall in love.

Ultimately just by being alive, we are all part of this process of energy transformation that drives the evolution of the universe. We take sunlight that has its origins from the very start of time, and transform it into heat that will last an eternity. Eternity is not a long, long time. Eternity is the opposite of time. It is, as Saint Augustine said, "The now that does not pass away". In twin flame love we take the eternal energy, and power the cycle that returns that energy back to its source, as we take the energy of the Sun to live.

We borrow order from the universe to make the intricate architecture of our bodies, from cells and tissues, the underlying machinery that powers all life on earth. There is no mysticism required, they operate according to the laws of physics, but this delicate balancing act is only maintained for so long, as each living thing will die - although life itself, like twin flame love, endures. This is because there is something that separates life from every other living thing in the universe. Thanks to a molecule called DNA we can pass this process on.

As with twin flame love, and all love in general, DNA is what makes life unique. Only living things have the ability to encode and transmit information in this way. DNA is the blueprint for life, and its extraordinary fidelity means it also contains a story. From the present day back to very first spark of life, DNA tells us we are connected not only to all living things now, but every single thing that has ever lived.

Although life isn't really a thing; it is a collection of chemical processes that can harness the flow of eternal energy to create local islands of order (like us) by borrowing order from the wider universe, and then transmitting it from generation to generation through the elegant chemistry of DNA. The origins of that chemistry can be traced back 4 billion years, most likely to vents of primordial oceans, and and the echoes of that history stretching back a third of the age of the universe can be seen in every cell of every living thing on earth. So, too, the energy harnessed by twin flame love is ancient, it is eternal, science has shown this with the discovery of laws that govern all physical bodies. But science has yet to discover laws for everything, and although the physical is a host to the spiritual, that, too, must play a part as a conduit to the universal energy that we process in life.

The human spirit being what it is, we all need to believe in something, and whether we believe in the supernatural or the scientific, the question of what life is, is surely one of the grandest questions we can ask. If you believe in the rationality of science, instead of life being a chance event (or not) ignited by a mystical spark, the emergence of life on Earth might have been the inevitable consequence of the laws of physics. And that it is these same laws that created a twin flame persona for all of us to process the universal energy correctly, and - for some - to pass on that process through the codes in our DNA.

If that's true, then a living cosmos is the only way a cosmos can be, but possibly what is more important is that whatever you choose to believe, like love, the belief should give you meaning. After all, that is what underpins the science of twin flame love.

Read the complete three-part series: -2 -3

Yours in love,

Fixing Twin Flame Relationships

Click here to attract your own twin flame NOW!

Those of us that believe we have found our twin flame will tell you that the connection with your twin flame is like nothing else in this world. For many it is a deeply satisfying relationship, that fulfils our spiritual need for human company.

However, as I have mentioned in my "Facing Challenges with Your Twin Flame" post, this doesn't mean that a twin flame couple won't need to go through the same relationship hurdles as everyone else. A relationship is a physical entity that we need to nurture in the correct environment for it to survive, and depending on the circumstances we may even need to fight hard to keep the romance alive.

So, let's say you are having troubles with you twin flame - or indeed any - relationship, are there practical fixes you can employ to rescue the situation and survive whatever challenges face you as a couple? Firstly, it is best to note that loving someone is not about controlling their thoughts and emotions. The best way to get to your loved one's heart is to be perceived as a spiritual equal - someone who shares the same wavelength as yours. It is all about feeling our value.

We all want to be valued. And in the deepest part of ourselves, we know that. But we often forget that when we encounter each other. Many of us are unfulfilled in our lives, and many of us have hungry hearts. Yet, we are not sure why our relationships are unsuccessful, and the cruellest cut is that we seem to repeat the same patterns and behaviours in relationships over and over again - even when we think we are making different choices in the friends or partners to whom we are attracted.

Secondly, experts say that many of the issues arising from interpersonal relationships are actually all about communication, or the lack thereof. We need to be able to communicate to ourselves and to others our thoughts and feelings competently. In addition, the major fix that can help us create a healthy environment, in which any fulfilling relationship with our loved ones can thrive, is effective communication. There are four recommended steps to achieving a high level of competence in our dealings with others, namely:

The 4 steps to successful communication

• Step 1: Intention promoting trust - This is all about our intention, our full attention and being respectfully present to others.
• Step 2: Be physically comfortable - This is about being physically comfortable when we are communicating so that our body language is letting the other individual know -
  1. that we are centred in our attention to them,
  2. we are respectful of them by not being restless and distracted with our self-attention or other things in the environment and
  3. that we are prepared to listen to them and not be rushed or impatient.
• Step 3: Use positive eye contact - This requires using soft, consistent, non-judgemental eye contact.
• Step 4: Respectful inquiry promoting total honesty - This is about respectful inquiry, being aware of and avoiding unimportant distractions or "pop-ups", and responsiveness in our conversations. Respectful inquiry allows us to ask a question in a way that invites the other person to feel it is acceptable and safe for him or her to give an honest answer.

In this article we will explore these recommended steps to creating an amazing, intimate relationship with your twin flame, but these can be used for friends and family as well as your significant other. But first below I provide some information about why we behave in relationships as we do, and how we can transform our behaviour to create the deeply satisfying relationships we want.

Origins of behaviour

Let's understand where our behaviours come from. Experts tell us that by the time we are 7 or 8 years of age, billions of sensory motor stimuli and messages have informed us how to respond and adapt to our environment in order to provide the best possible chance of survival. From these neurological feelings or responses come our protective strategies of how to live and survive, what to believe and value, and, ultimately, how we form our world-view.

These psychological perceptions are drawn from what we experience within the environment in which we are raised. Our environment is both external and internal, made up of incoming stimuli from outside the self and internal stimuli - biochemical or physiological - that send messages to our brain. These developed adaptation patterns become integrated with personality and have a significant effect on our behaviours.

The self consists of three components: emotions, beliefs and world-view. These components strongly influence our behavioural choices, as well as our attachment to those choices. This is why it is so difficult to change anyone else's behaviour, much less try to change ourselves.

Only when our thinking mind and our emotional mind recognise information that can enhance or improve our survival - or enhance how we experience our self - does a psychological opening occur that allows change to take place.

This is why I also share articles on how we can "rewire" old patterns of thinking, and how we can work to create a synergism between our mind, body and soul and our modern lifestyle, while nurturing ourselves physically through exercise and diet - because healthy people, and healthy minds are needed for a healthy relationship. It makes good sense: Only when you think and act clearly, can you can communicate clearly.

Communication patterns

When we communicate we must come from a place of love. The way we communicate in our culture today runs completely against the type of communication necessary to create self-discovery or self-awareness. The American Psychiatric Association has de-classified Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a psychological condition, because approximately 25 percent of the population is manifesting narcissistic behaviour. Self-absorbed and self-centred behaviour does not bode well for creating fulfilling relationships if the relationship is all about us or if it is all about them.

Self-love or self-respect is often confused for these destructive habits, because taken to their extremes they can exhibit similar qualities. However, at the heart of loving ourselves lies the understanding that we all want to be valued and cared about. Rather than an isolated view of Self, it creates a connected view of Self. We are truly loving ourselves when we can accept ourselves as we are right now, and negative patterns start to dissolve because that acceptance can bring motivation for transformational change, and creates empathy for others.

However, if we wait to change, or wait for someone to love us, before we love ourselves, then we are denying our own existence. If we wait to become "perfect", or to have the "perfect" love find us, then we waste our lives. Twin flame love isn't perfect love, it is love that compliments us, and is perfect to us, because we look past its imperfections, or more often than not, love the imperfections, too.

We are the outer expressions of our inner understanding, as that changes, so, too, will our outward appearance. But the changes we make when we love and accept ourselves is always positive. Love is a healing power, and love for ourselves is the power that heals us.

Accepting and approving who we are releases negativity that can block our choices, too, especially how we choose to treat others. We are so busy trying to get our own needs met that many of us take our partners, friends, family or other significant relationships for granted. We don't stop and think: "This person wants the same thing I do from a relationship." The "secret" to creating the relationships we want is to follow steps which result in mutually satisfying connections. This is the first step to changing our relational behaviour.

Fixing our relationship dialogues

The first step to changing your relationships is to change your own behaviour and then to understand how important relationships are in your life - to your health, success and happiness. To start you on the road to transforming your relational behaviour and ultimately transforming the quality of your relationships, begin any exchange with the decision that you are going to be fully present to the person you are speaking with. In a twin flame this is paramount, as eye contact is essential for true communication.

Subsequently, you will need to clear out all forms of distraction, and will no longer be looking over their head at who else might be coming in the room, or absent-mindedly playing with your eyeglasses, watch or jewellery, thinking about what else you want to be doing, or interrupting what the other person is saying so you can say what you are thinking about while you are not listening to what they are saying.

The importance of effective communication in all types of relationships is important, and no where is this more than true than in twin flame pairings. It is a spiritual joining, and we need to communicate that to each other for the relationship to thrive. Furthermore, the qualities of our communication style and the skills we bring to our conversations have a significant impact on our overall success in life, work and family relationships. While most of us are aware of how important communication is in business, we often forget that the communication skills that create successful business relationships are the same elements we need to bring to our personal and family communications.

With few exceptions, none of us would feel it was acceptable to be distracted while speaking to our boss or an important client. We would not be "tuning out" or thinking about some unrelated errand we have to run, or which movie we will go see after work. If we want to have a successful interaction with the boss or our clients, we are going to give them our full attention, being fully present to what they are saying and how they are communicating to us.

Successful communication needs our full attention

The same applies to all of our other relationships, yet many of us do not realise that these same elements are requirements for successful, fulfilling communication within our personal and intimate relationships - especially if we are with our twin flame. The connection is so intense, it may overwhelm, but when we are mindful of how we are communicating, and are aware of how to communicate in a way that lets people know they have our full attention, the outcome of our communication will be positive, creating a win-win for all participants.

Most of us have had no training in how to communicate or conduct ourselves in relationships. It is both a practical and necessary step to learn proven skills and the information necessary to change our communication behaviours. Our behaviours have been crafted over many years and are difficult to change, but not impossible. We can learn skills that can be incorporated into our communications and applied to all interactions and in all settings, and it is important to do so.

If you want to fix your relationship, you have to realise that at the heart lies a lack of communication, and you need to make the decision that you want to improve the quality and success of your communication and relationship skills, for greater fulfilment and more positive outcomes. Outside of our twin flame relationships, we do this by clearing out the many forms of distraction that are so common during our verbal exchanges with others. Focus on the individuals you are speaking with, being sincerely interested in what they are saying. This starts with relating to another person in a respectful manner that communicates to him or her that you value them.

If we are inclined to be a "hierarchy" thinker, where others are either beneath us or above us, this mindset will bring some challenging behaviours to communication and will generally result in less-than-successful long-term outcomes. This is easily seen in the workplace dynamics where people are jockeying for pecking order. This is why your intention to change and your desire for greater success are important.

Although in twin flame relationships it may be your preference to have a dominant/submissive relationship, in spirituality you are equal (especially outside of the bedroom), and it is the mutual trust and respect founded on such equality that forms the unconditional support, and which is a prerequisite to twin flame love.

Further steps for effective communication

The remaining steps for effective communication include the way we use our body language, our responsiveness to our loved ones, and how we can act to create an environment that nurtures trust and honesty between twin flame couples. Specific to twin flame relationships, honest synchronism between our body language and eye contact is very important.

Thus, we can further improve our skills for more successful outcomes in our relational dialogues by being physically comfortable with our partner. Our body language needs to express and foster an aura of trust - to show that we care about what our loved ones are telling us, and thus care about them. Our body language must be in harmony with our eye contact to foster truthfulness.

Eye contact - so important in twin flame relationships - is initiated through the optic nerve, which communicates with the limbic or feeling/emotional part of the brain. It communicates thoughts and feelings through both micro and macro physiological changes in the iris, muscles of the eye and fluid in and around the eyeball. All of these obvious and subtle physical "tells" or "cues" (or communications provide) us with conscious and unconscious information about how the other person is relating to us or what he is thinking and feeling. Gentle, sustained eye contact that expresses acceptance and a non-judgemental stance is a powerful component of creating successful relationships. We do not need to judge each other, as we will likely judge ourselves anyway when things go wrong.

While anyone can see how these practical, simple and positive behaviours can make a transformational difference in our communications, they do not necessarily come naturally to us. Sometimes when we are with our loved ones, our mind is not with them, and when we are in a dialogue with them we can get distracted by "pop-ups". Pop-ups are what happen when we allow our mind to wonder and become distracted from being present in the conversation. By being aware of them and clearing out distraction as they occur, we can continue to provide effective communication in our relationships.

This all aids in making us more responsive as couples to one another's needs, but also to our own. Responsiveness is about communicating that we hear, see and understand what the person is sharing with us without interrupting, projecting, interjecting or judging what he or she is saying, and that we expect the same in return. This type of open responsive attitude promotes total honesty in a relationship, which is an absolute for twin flame couples.

Your total honesty with each other gives you the power to support each other and face all challenges as a team. Because the twin flame relationship entails only you and your partner in confidentiality, you can feel assured in authentically sharing what is going on in your life: past relationships, eating habits, self-defeating behaviours, stresses, fears, etc., knowing that you will have complete support to change if you wish it.

Twin flames support each other

Such support enriches our life, gives us value, and more so when we return this support, because knowing we are adding value and enriching another's life, adds value to our own. Open sharing is your key to a deeper, effective coach-client relationship that creates the motivation to overcome challenges, promotes trust and total honesty in a relationship, providing a safe haven for real love to flourish.

In fact, when we feel safe, we can open our hearts and be emotionally vulnerable. That opens the door to healing our spirits and emotional bodies. Often with twin flame love, we want to share our darkest secrets (the ones that have been burdening us for years, for example) with our partner. We may not understand why we have this need to be completely open, but it is how twin flames join together. And if we don't know how to effectively communicate, the pairing can be disjointed.

When this is done effectively, twin flame couplings find that their respective others do not judge. This creates more connection and allows them to feel more open and vulnerable, which then opens them to healing, personal power. They are able to process the pain of any memory, release it and move on. Twin flame support can heal past pain, and strengthen us for future challenges when we trust in its power. It also presents a dignified aspect of love, rather than unnecessary dramatics that could irreparably damage a good relationship.

It may be that you need a trail separation, and effective dialogue is necessary to facilitate that in a positive way, so that once absence has made the heart grow fonder, you can truly bond stronger than before. Breaking up with dignity allows for a easier return, and if you realise you are not with your twin flame, if keeps you open to meeting "the one" when your split with an ex is as amicable as possible.

To summarise, for twin flames the alchemy of a relationship is total honesty negotiated through effective communication through what we say and what we do and how we act towards a loved one. When something in a relationship isn't working, the quickest "fix" is to talk about it at a time convenient for both of you, so as to facilitate an open and trusting environment in which you can both come together to show support and understanding.

Finally keep in mind that this type of relationship won't be for everyone - it takes some getting used to. This type of relationship demands utmost honesty both with oneself and with one's partner. Instead of hiding our cards, we lay them all out on the table. All our hopes, all our fears, all our petty and jealous thoughts, all our conniving: all of it gets laid out in the clear light of awareness for our partner to see. And he or she must do the same. It will not work if there are back doors unlocked with mental escape in mind. It will not work if both partners are not absolutely impeccably honest with each other.

And the reason for this radical type of honesty is that without it, the twin flame alchemy of relationship cannot take place. It is the dynamic of this trusting relationship that harness the sexual energies cultivated in tantra to a special twin flame level. It is about cultivating a special energy wavelength or frequency habituated between two people. Twin flame couples, like any relationship, need to make the effort to communicate with each other successfully and effectively to sustain an environment in which they can host their undying love for one another.

What you put in is what you get out of a relationship

Many relationships drop by the wayside because the partners are either unwilling or unable to make the efforts required to sustain them. Instead of experiencing the newness of each moment within the relationship, a kind of dullness seeps in over time; what used to be exciting is now boring. After a while, people tend to get "stuck in a rut". The liveliness that existed at the beginning of the relationship begins to fade. Both people become more or less unconscious. The harsh reality is that it takes continual vigilance and effort to keep a relationship conscious and alive.

And worse, a kind of psychological and emotional lethargy sets in, and both partners succumb to the dulling effects of unconsciousness. This type of unconsciousness is a death knell to psychological awareness and insight; and although it is rarely mentioned, this type of unconsciousness can have a negative effect on one's spiritual life as well. This is why we need to fix the form of interactions that habitually take place between twin flame couples within their relationship, and nurture effective communication - that pathway that travels from one flame to its twin.

Effective communication will allow a relationship to thrive in an open and safe environment of trust, appreciation and total honesty, because this is the "magical formula" necessary for relationship alchemy. The very nature of twin flame relationships means it is the perfect reservoir for these traits, and also provides the impetus needed to effective communicate with one another. There is usually plenty of energy in relationships in the form of neurotic patterns, hopes, fears, and desires - but the energy in a twin flame relationship (some have said) feels like a psychological awakening.

It is a time of radical honesty, and for both partners to express their true feelings no matter how embarrassing or scary they might be. By speaking their truths to each other, an enlivening element enters the dynamic. Psychological honesty results in psychological insight. And with insight there is hope for awareness, and with awareness there is a spiritual awakening and connection that differs from other relationships. It is this that adds a whole new depth to the relationship, arguably distinct to twin flame couplings.

Some describe it as a scared relationship, a truly holy way of being. The root of the word holy actually means to make whole. The English word "holy" dates back to at least the 11th Century with the Old English word hālig, an adjective derived from hāl meaning "whole", and used to mean "uninjured, sound, healthy, entire, complete". So, when we do something that creates wholeness (in the case of twin flames psychological wholeness), it can be said we are engaging in a sacred or holy act.

And in the crucible of mutual trust, honesty and appreciation, it is possible to forge a strong relationship that can withstand the slings and arrows of less nobler challenges. Twin flame love makes us psychologically more honest, more aware and freer as we enter the foundry of a twin flame relationship - as a counterpart to what will be the greatest union of our lives. Think how the cells inside the caterpillar believe the world is ending when metamorphosis begins, if only those crumbling cells knew of the wings that were sprouting. Or like the phoenix that rises from its own ashes, even after the longest fall, twin flame love really can give you wings. It can fly you both to places that you could only have imagined before.

You will instinctively sense if you are a candidate for twin flame love; you will feel it deep down in your core, because twin flame love gives you the courage to enter the depth of yourself and your partner to find out. You will be drawn to read articles on the subject and to research the phenomenon for yourself. But the intensity of the experience can be unsettling at first, because it will be a relationship like none other. When you discover that you are physically, emotionally and spiritually present with another person, it can overwhelm you.

We humans are, after all, quite clever and creative at avoiding the psychological heat. We can find all sorts of ways to avoid facing ourselves. Some of us numb ourselves with alcohol or drug abuse. And some of us do it with television. In fact, they are far too numerous for me to list here. But for those in a sacred relationship, mysteries and treasures await if we embrace total honesty, and place our trust in the openness a twin flame relationship has the potential to harbour.

When we do that, there is nothing we cannot face together, there is nothing that cannot be "fixed". Even though there is no definitive manual to love, and there is precious little guidance out there for twin flame couples, the path to relationship spirituality begins with effective communication. Even in the darkest moments of life where it is hard for you to see to even put one foot in front of the other, the deep primordial force of twin flame love will help you to stand - as you both walk together for better or worse, in sickness and in health, beating as one heart.

Yours in love,

Fulfilling Twin Flame Relationships

Click here to attract your own twin flame NOW!

If you trawl the internet via Google you will come up with some startling statistics about relationships. Some say that 30% of all couples consider themselves to be only "semi-happy" in their relationship, while other say that although when you first fall in love the feeling can be magical, for most people this "honeymoon phase" doesn't last forever. But the truth is that you absolutely can have a deep, passionate, soulful connection that lasts a lifetime.

All life is about relationships of one kind or another - to self, loved ones, work, money, environment, you name it, and we have to work at all of these to make them prosper. However, especially in this post websex era, many of us have been programmed to do relationships the way we play online poker. A quick five card stud game, where we do everything possible to get the upper hand. And if that fails, we bluff. We pretend to hold cards we don't have. We cheat. We lie. Until it comes time to lay all our cards on the table and really show our hand, when we end up with nothing - or less than we had before.

This is a horrible way to describe a relationship, but it doesn't have to be like that. Such an environment isn't something that just happens, however, it's something you have to create. And if you create a toxic environment, any relationship - even a twin flame one - will inevitably suffer. What is worse is, if we mistreat and lose our twin flame, the love doesn't die; twin flame love is eternal and the loss (or what I call the "forever fever") will last a lifetime.

For humans, the name of the game is in fact attachment, affection and companionship - we are actually soft-wired for sociability. But often true love is mistaken to be solely about the other person, when really true love is an effective tool for us to learn about ourselves, and understanding our own feelings.

We can't love others if we don't know how to love ourselves first. Most psychologists agree that your emotional intelligence (a measure of how well you understand the underlying emotions in yourself and others) is one of the biggest factors in determining your quality of relationships, while mainstream science is only beginning to understand the impact a person's DNA has on their relationships. A 2011 study by American scientists, for instance, found that certain genes in fruit flies - and by extension humans, too - were only activated when they began interacting with sex partners.

Read 6 essential steps to increase emotional intelligence.

Consequently, once you understand the primordial changes at work when we're in love, and learn to read each other's expressions, you'll gain a deep, holistic understanding of your loved one's most personal traits, so you can minimise conflict and maximise empathy. This is what love is about after all. Moreover, understanding each other's most heartfelt desires could help you shine light on any blind spots in your relationship, so you can connect on an infinitely more meaningful and intimate level with each other and create a great awareness around the relationship.

Whether you've been married for decades, are in a new relationship, or are still looking for "the one", you deserve to have an amazing experience in love - because every relationship you experience is filled with learning lessons for us to grow as people - and if we haven't found our twin flame - to prepare us for our one and only. This isn't about winning a Mr & Mrs game show, but building a healthy environment around a relationship is very important, because it can remain a positive experience even if you do break up, leaving you open to allow love in your life again. This is what law of attraction believers call creating your own reality, and if you believe in that, then the secrets to manifesting a lasting, soulful love is simple.

The one simple way is to communicate effectively with each other. This means to communicate (via words and actions) openly and honestly to create a strong foundation of trust and support that is essential in twin flame love. But creating a healthy environment for any relationship bolsters its chances for success. Lack of effective communication is a leading cause of divorce and the breakdown of relationships between parents and children, as well as between employees and their employers. There is no doubt that communication in all types of relationships can make or break them, but changing how we relate to one another is easier said than done. This is because of inherited or past communication patterns that can quickly lead to hurt feelings or emotional disconnection.

Read the 4 steps to successful communication.

Most behaviours in relationships have been developed over time and are the result of several types of conditioning. The family we were raised in, the environment we grew up in and the experience we have of important relationships in our lives all craft how we learn to "do" relationships, and how we behave in them. What's more, most people don't have the knowledge, skills or the time to invest in changing how they behave. Many relationship counsellors devise elaborate (and expensive) training processes to encourage their clients to first define their personal goals and aspirations. They're then asked to share these with their partners, so they can support each other in achieving them.

Some even see the twin flame mythos as a special system that can help people all around the world understand, connect with and love one another. If each person has a genetic energy and a specific energetic frequency that defines communication styles, sexual compatibility, chemistry and intellectual compatibility with another person - then matching up our frequencies is just another way of looking for our twin flame. A few individuals will seek to use astrology, numerology, or just plain old relationship advice on how to meet a special someone to try and harness these energies and tap into their own frequency so they can match it up with another.

Others believe that there is no formula to love, and it defies analysis. We just need to go with the flow, and it happens when it happens - but once it does happen, then the rest is up to us. Life may not be a romantic comedy, but who says you can't make it like one? Who says you can't have that "dream" movie relationship with your twin flame? You just have script it yourself; so script yourself the kind where endless smiles, laughter and sizzling passion colour your days, and empathy, joy and deep connection flow like a waterfall. Who says you can't show that special someone how you feel, open their eyes to the real you, and begin a romantic future together before the end credits roll?

Read 5 things about relationships.

However, we are warned by some experts that every relationship you think you have is not the relationship you really have, and not to fall into the "trap" of high expectations. Because when we live our expectations rather than our relationship, we make mistakes and lose that intimacy we initially nurture, when we first meet someone and go out with them.

Sooner or later we'll all know what that is like. You're the very thing you can be in a perfect world; you're in sync, sex is actually good instead of just saying it is, so you get real close. You talk about your childhood, your parents, your dreams, and your relationships that didn't work out. You get so intimate you tell him or her your innermost fears, or bravely show them the darkest corners of your heart. You tell them your problems and you listen intently to theirs; but now you get loose, or rude or a little insensitive, and you start to play on the expectations you have built up around the relationship.

When this happens, you discover one day you're not in sync any more, and you don't know who each other is any more, and you are not the two people that initially met and fell in love. You suddenly find yourselves spending all your time apologising for the person you were in the first weeks of your relationship, which ends when one or both walk out screaming in broad daylight, or creep away in the middle of the night. This is a scenario that no one wants, so we must script a better relationship for ourselves, one that we truly deserve.

And if you haven't met the right person, who says you can't work on growing yourself, to harness your strengths and grasp what really makes you tick deep down inside and attract your twin flame when you least expect it, like at a coffee shop, on a holiday, even at a bus stop? The most important things to know in life take a lifetime to learn.

Our first lessons in love come early - but we grasp only the surface. As we gain life experience we gain deeper understanding. All great truths are both simple and complex, easy to understand yet difficult to master - and so it is with love. But once your love, like your life, is placed in your hands, then it is what you make of it. Make the best of it, and it will make the best of you.

Yours in love,

Her Bad Boy (Chapter 5)

How does a girl cope when her twin flame is the definitive bad boy? (18+ Erotica)

Chapter 4 | Chapter 5: The Hurt and the Weary

Sally hated hospitals; they were twilight worlds where the line between death and life blurred, or was erased completely. But she hated its smell and what it stood for most of all. That antiseptic smell of hygiene that seemed to sanitise everything and everyone it touched, lying in the intestine of its white corridors and working its way to the pit of your stomach.

She tried to close her mind off to the smell and the memories it evoked in her, as Stephen led her over to the reception cubicle of the Accident and Emergency area. The metal waiting seats were filled with the aftermath of fights, bloodied victims, the hurt and weary. One drunk man was vomiting loudly in a corner. She was suddenly glad of Stephen’s arm, and his guidance. He had been quick to take the initiative after Daisy had managed to garble out what had happened to her brother Iain.

Bundling up Sally's shell-shocked figure in his arms, Stephen had carried her over to where he’d parked his military motorcycle. Placing her on the back of his trusted steed, he’d barked instructions at Daisy. To her though, he only spoke two words, but they had been enough. “I’m here,” he’d said. After arriving at the hospital, and helping her off his motorbike, he had repeated simply, “I’m here.” It had worked to calm her down.

Now, as she stood watching Stephen try to find someone that could tell her about her brother’s situation, she began to feel tiny tremors of fear creep up from the bottom of her feet to invade the foremost thoughts in her mind. She knew that somewhere below them, below all general hospitals, was the morgue level. Beneath their feet the remnants of loved ones were taken. What if Iain was down there now? All alone in the sanitised place of dead? It wasn’t the cold and sterile silence she imagined that frightened her most, it was the inevitability. From personal experience she knew that everyone would take a trip down there at one point in their life, and she was powerless to protect her brother from it.

Dear God, not Iain yet. He’s still so young. So much life to live. She knew she couldn’t hold her brother back from the hungry jaws of the mortuary forever, but she thought they had appeased it when they sent their father through its doors not so long ago. Iain was the only family she had left, if she didn’t count Daisy. She couldn’t imagine what she would do if her brother was-

Sally tried to push back the tidal wave of tears that threatened to erupt. Stop it. Just stop torturing yourself. You don’t know anything yet. It was a useless attempt, however, to rid her mind of the increasing morbidity of her thoughts. They were ceaseless, and she found herself giving in to them. Better to think of past evils, than present ones, then. She had lost count of the times she had walked down antiseptic corridors like these last year when she had been nursing their father.

This wasn’t the level where they had lost the old man, that was on the Intensive Care Unit one level above. Their family doctor had moved him here from their small community hospital, because the old man had refused to be sent to a hospice. He had been adamant that he would live. She knew that stubbornness well, had spent entire days sitting beside a frail old ball of raging hate that had once been the bane of her brother’s and her life. Guiltily wishing he would live to prolong his pain; often wishing he would die to end theirs.

That same guilt attacked her now, she rubbed at the ice-cold pinpricks stabbing at the palms of her hands. She tried to squash the foolish notion that somehow their father had come back to get his revenge on the children he had never loved, because they had reminded him of their wayward mother. They had been a responsibility, a burden to carry, and he had reminded them of it every single second of their lives. His death had been a release finally, not just for him, but for them, as well.

When Daisy had told them that Iain had been brought to the large general hospital instead of their small town’s A&E, she had feared the worse - had been literally struck dumb by it. Had her little baby brother been taking his last breaths, while she and Stephen had been rekindling whatever had been left of their feelings in some alley behind some fairground shack? God, it would be just like the old man to concoct something like this from the dead, to frighten her off sex and men for good.

Sally wanted to bang her head against a hospital wall. She should never have listened to Daisy to leave the sleeping boy at home with a babysitter, and go off to the fair. If anything had happened to Iain when she should have been watching him, she would never forgive herself. Some niggling thought reminded her that had she not gone to the fair that evening, she wouldn’t have met Stephen again.

And here he was back in her line of vision, as though telepathically responding to her call. She saw him peer in through the empty cubicle’s window, raising his voice to ask where the receptionist was and how long they were expected to wait. A big, burly security guard appeared as if out from nowhere to point to the zero tolerance policy sign, written out in large red letters on a white, shiny placard that hung on the adjoining wall.

“That works both ways,” Stephen remarked unperturbed. “Get someone who knows what they’re doing to come down here and give us some information. My girlfriend over there is out of her mind with worry over her little brother.”

She couldn’t make out what the hulking guard muttered in response, but what Stephen had said must have worked because he shuffled off, presumably to find someone to help them. Stephen turned to give her a backward glance, and she looked into his eyes. How are you holding up? they seemed to say.

Okay. But better when I know how Iain is, she thought back. He nodded as though he had heard, and turned back to peer through the reception’s cubicle window once more.

He was met with the slightly miffed looking face of a middle-aged female member of the hospital staff. “Do you mind removing your head from my hole, sir?”

“Well, that’s the first time any fine looking lady has asked me to do that,” Stephen said with a quick smile, pulling his head back to a polite distance. “Excuse my bad manners, but my girl wants to know about her little brother.”

Sally saw the receptionist smile despite herself. It seemed no woman was immune to Stephen’s charms, and for once Sally was thankful. They needed someone on their side to help them find out about her brother.

The receptionist lifted her necklace eye glasses, nestled in her ample bosom, to her face and looked at the computer screen in front of her, hands hovering expertly over the keyboard. “His name?”

Sally stepped forward, as if coming to her senses. “Iain McMasters. He’s only nine.” At the first crack in her voice, Stephen put his arm around her shoulders. I’m here.

“McMasters, Iain. Yes, we’ve got him. Admitted two hours ago. And your name?”

“Sally McMasters. I’m his sister and legal guardian. Can I see him? Is he- is he okay?”

The receptionist gave her a professional smile. “I’m afraid I don’t have that information, but if you take a seat I will let the doctors know you are here. They will call out your name.”

Sally didn’t want to move an inch without a proper answer. She felt would go out of her mind otherwise. “You must know if he is okay at least? Please.”

The receptionist’s face softened with understanding. “If I knew I would tell you, love. But don’t think the worst, else you wouldn’t have been directed here, okay? The doctors won’t keep you waiting, I promise you. Just take a seat, and wait for them to call your name.”

Before Sally could respond relieved, the burly guard materialised out from thin air again. He cast a hard look at them both before glancing at the receptionist. “Are they causing trouble?”

The receptionist removed her glasses and let them fall back to her large bust. “I don’t seem to remember buzzing you, Tony? What gives?”

“You didn’t have to. These two have been making too much noise for too long. We have to keep up our zero policy, Maude.” And as if to prove his point, the guard reached out a huge hand to grab Sally’s arm and move her aside. “Can you get a move on? Can’t you see you’re holding up the line?”

Stephen moved so quickly, that Sally barely registered the movement. She watched him grab the security guard by the neck, and his hands, which had been so loving with her in the flurry of Ferris lights beneath the stars just hours before, now locked the brawny man’s neck in a steel-like grip. Although the guard was a full head taller than Stephen, he flummoxed about like a puppet with its strings cut as Stephen tightened his hold just beneath the man’s Adam’s apple.

In stark contrast, Stephen was unbelievably calm. “You have two choices,” he said coolly, looking the frightened guard straight in the eye. “I loosen my hold on your windpipe just enough for you to be able to open that dumb mouth of yours and apologise to my girlfriend, or I crack it for good to show you my zero tolerance policy. Now what’s it to be?”

The whole A&E seemed to hush. Even the vomiting drunk in the corner had stopped retching to listen. Stephen gripped a little harder. “Well?”

For a split second Stephen was back in Afghanistan, amongst the bombs and the brutality, until Sally stepped over to him and touched the curve of his back. She could feel his thin, wire frame was as tense as taut lean muscle, but he responded instinctively to her touch. “He had no right to grab you like that.”

“I’m sure he understands that now. Let him go. It’s okay.”

“You’re a lady. No one treats a lady like that. I don’t care who he is.”

“I’m sor- sorry!” The man spluttered, having realised it was futile to try and wriggle free; he had discovered it hurt less to stay still and hope the little nutter would loosen his hold on his neck. “I’m sor- sorry! O-k-kay!”

Stephen released him, and the man jumped back putting a hand to his neck, amazed to find it intact and relieved he could breathe freely again. Before he could work out whether it was worth his effort to retaliate, the receptionist cut in with a clap of her hands, “Right! The drama is over folks. You asked for that, Tony! Now move aside and let them go take their seats.”

Sally smiled gratefully at her, as she took hold of Stephen’s hand and led him away to sit down in the waiting area. The security guard stepped aside, and the people waiting in line parted like Moses before the Red Sea to make way for them, having momentarily forgotten their own troubles in the fracas.

“Thank you for that,” she leaned in and whispered to him after they had sat down.

“Thank you for what? I should be apologising to you.”

“For defending me?”

“For nearly losing it.” He looked at Sally, and it hurt her to see his eyes become as unfathomable as a mirror in the dark. “I could have killed him.”

“But you didn’t. That’s what matters.”

"No, I’m capable of killing. That’s what matters. Can you lov- have feelings for a guy like that?”

Love, Stephen? Was that what you were about to say? She felt her throat constrict; it almost choked the next words that came out of her mouth. “Did you mean what you said back there?”

He looked at her questioningly. “I said a lot of things back there. I usually say what I mean.”

“When you called me your girlfriend? Or was that just for the guard’s benefit?”

His eyes darkened even more. “You have to believe that whatever I’ve done, I did it thinking it was best for you. Believe that.”

The trouble was Sally did - the moment she looked into his eyes she believed she could trust anything he told her. It was the rest of the time she found it difficult. She was about to say just that, when she heard her name called out by a young female in a white coat, holding a large file.

Flustered and shamefaced for having momentarily forgotten her brother, she jumped up from her seat to make her way towards what she assumed was an intern. Stephen steadied her as they made their way towards the fresh faced young doctor.

Shaking the doctor’s outstretched hand, she said, “I’m Sally McMasters. How is my brother?”

“My name is Dr. Moira McBride. You are Iain’s legal guardian I take it?”

Sally nodded, muted.

“Better than to be expected under the conditions. Whoever found him did so just in time.” The doctor looked at the file in front of her, and then inquisitively at Stephen. “Is this man his family? I understand from your brother’s file you are his sole legal guardian?”

Noticing Sally’s hesitation, Stephen replied, “No. I’m just a friend.”

“Then I’m afraid you’ll have to wait here.” The doctor turned to Sally, who hadn’t taken her eyes off the file. “Will you follow me please, so we can talk about this in private?”

Stephen kissed her on the cheek. “You go. I’m here.”

Sally nodded, her mind trying to take in what the doctor had just said. Whoever found him did so just in time. So, Iain had nearly died. If Daisy hadn’t thought to go back to her house to check on Iain first, she would have lost her brother. Daisy had saved her brother’s life, while she had been getting licked out in some alleyway like one of those women her father had always ranted about. Like her mother, presumably.

But it had felt so right. Stephen felt so right. She didn’t really believe in the Victorian attitudes of a bitter old man, and yet, she had nearly lost her baby brother tonight. How could she not see this as some sign?

Her mind and her heart were once again warring amid a hodgepodge of emotions. Jumbled up and knocked about in a sea of guilt, shame, defiance, anger, she was drowning in it all, and at the heart of the storm was her feelings of inadequacy for having failed her baby brother.

“Miss McMasters? You do understand what I’m telling you? We will have to keep him in under observation for a while on our paediatric floor. The police have also been notified. They will want to question why an autistic boy of his age and vulnerability was left alone at home.”

Sally’s boots squeaked to a stop on the shiny linoleum. “You make him sound like an invalid, doctor! My brother is very independent, and very strong willed.”

“Some people with autism are able to live relatively independent lives but others may have accompanying learning disabilities and need a lifetime of specialist support. Iain is a nine year old boy who was so distressed at being left alone he almost killed himself trying to escape through his bedroom window.”

Sally sucked in a sharp intake of breath on hearing what happened to her brother in that way, and on seeing her reaction, the doctor softened her stance. “Iain suffers from a lifelong developmental disability that affects the way a person communicates and relates to people around them, as I am sure you are aware.”

“I am well aware of that.” Sally had taken a sudden dislike to this young intern.

“Well, you also know that they make sense of the world around them differently to you or me. Iain probably has an over-sensitivity to the dark, which was instrumental in his irrational need to escape.”

The doctor was right, her brother was afraid of the dark. They had a bedtime routine they had to perform before he would even get into bed, and a special bedside lamp they kept on at all times. She had warned Daisy to tell the babysitter about keeping the lamp on. And what had happened to the babysitter Daisy had hired for Iain? Where was she in all this? At once there were a lot of questions that needed answers - and Sally was going to make sure she found them.

“He lost his father recently?”

“Dad died a year ago. Iain took it hard.”

“I am not saying this has been easy for you either, Miss McMasters. After the death of a parent, siblings can often find they are unprepared to deal with a younger dependent who is autistic. I am not here to judge, and I won’t pretend I can fully empathise. Naturally this is difficult for you, too, but I have to consider Iain’s welfare above all else.”

“What are you trying to say? That I’m not capable of looking after my brother?”

“That’s not for me to decide.”

Sally suddenly straightened her back, her spine employing some of Stephen’s steel. “You’re damn right it isn’t! I’ve been helping to look after my brother my entire life, even when the old man was alive. You make it sound like years of neglect. How dare you assume what you can’t possibly know, Dr. McBride. By the way, just how long have you been a doctor anyway?”

“I didn’t mean-”

Sally was glad to see a light blush on the young doctor’s face. “Frankly, I couldn’t give two hoots what you did mean. Believe me, I am very interested to speak to the police myself, as I have questions of my own. But right now the most important thing is that I see my brother. Are you going to take me to him, or should I just scream the place down?”

“It’s two floors up, come with me,” she said quietly. “We can talk more when you’re calm.”

“I am calm, believe me. And I’ll fight anyone who tries to take my brother away from me.” Sally felt energised, and more in control then she had ever in her life. It was completely out of the blue, and she didn’t know the reason for it, but as she followed the doctor with stronger strides, impatient to see her brother, she wished deep inside that Stephen had seen her in action. She was sure he would be proud of the way she handled herself.

She felt his absence keenly then; he should be here with her. Maybe she had been looking at this the wrong way. What if this was a good omen? She remembered how Stephen had been so assertive in his support of her, had taken care of her, been there for her. This emergency had shown her how good they could be together. So, why hadn’t she said he was family when the doctor had questioned him?

She regretted not speaking up, but he had said he would wait for her, and Sally decided if Stephen was still around after checking on her brother, she wouldn’t let him go a second time. Not without a fight. Her brother, too. And Daisy, a small voice asked inside her, what about Daisy?

She would deal with Daisy in her own good time.

End of Chapter 5 | Read Chapter 6

Yours in love,