Communicate with Love

“Dare everything, try everything ... Buy an atlas and keep it by the bed - remember you can go anywhere.”
— Joanna Lumley

I always say we should really get out more. Our purpose is not to be isolated from the universe; humans are creatures of communication. We need to be part of a sharing reality. Most people want to feel like they're part of a tribe, it's about how you identify as a person and that's not necessarily a bad thing. If we're not a part of the system, we can't use it for success.

And moreover, when all is said and done, the best guarantee of a long and healthy life may be the positive and loving connections you have with other people. In addition to spiritual and health benefits of social connection, it's also good to get out and about, because it gives us a proper perspective of the wider world in which we live. It can be detrimental if you spend too much time looking at your mobile device and not observing the world around you.

If we risk to venture outside of our daily boundaries, we would see that what we think of the world might not in fact be true. For instance, if all we do is travel from home to work, and vice versa, you might be forgiven for thinking the world is one long grey ribbon of tar and concrete.

Notably for us Brits, with the 2012 Summer Olympics being held in London, the opening ceremony theme of England's "green and pleasant" image has sparked debate on how green England actually is. And even though humans have intervened with the ecosystem so much that even rural areas are human-made to a large extent - commentators believe England is still more green than grey concrete. The mass urbanisation we think came with the onslaught of the industrial revolution seems to be a myth - percentage-wise at any rate.

You venture out of your gate a little further each day, and new discoveries will find you. My twin flame and I were in London this week and took the new Thames cable car, spanning the river, which has opened to the public. It gave us a new perspective, and that is what learning is all about, too. Travel can broaden your horizons, and narrow the mind depending on what you see. Too much travel might make us blasé about the wonders of the world; but at the same time it can make us realise that what matters is the people, not the places. For some the places are pretty enough, but the human story is what makes the experience. For example, wherever you are in Italy - where a wedding is an excuse for an enormous feast - did you know that they eat confetti and throw rice? Confetti, from which we get the English word confectionery, in Italy means a type of festive sweet and not the coloured paper cut-outs we throw at a bride and groom.

Once you venture out, you'll see that life has suddenly got a lot more interesting. You'll learn something everyday. You'll find it has much more to offer than you might have previously thought. People aren't always awful. Sometimes, they're maybe even just a little bit wonderful. This is what being a human being is all about. The more we understand that we are all connected and that each action we make has lasting effects that spread out like a web into the world, the more willing we are to do good things whenever we can, and the more likely it will be that good things will come back to us. It's OUR world after all, here for all of us to respect, cherish and enjoy responsibly, and look after for future generations.

Undeniably we all need our own space, time out alone to rejuvenate and energise. That is understandable. But complete isolation for long periods - unless it's to retreat to drastically self-improve so that you can join the world better and stronger - will not help, but harm in the long run.

Want to find love? Then you have to put yourself out there. Want a career you're passionate about? Well 99.99% of us won't find it by hiding ourselves away from the world. Want to create, then connect with innovators. Innovative ideas are expanded within communities, some of the most popular ones, like the Technology Entertainment and Design (TED) conference, have even been described as a cult. But the difference between TED and being in church is that all the talks are verifiable by science - it's done within the spirit of critical thinking. Arguably, what is shared can inspire people all around the globe in the name of humanity, not dogmatic doctrine.

Imagine what would happen if all the good people stayed at home? We have to get out there, and shine a light. We have to open our eyes to the beauty in the world, and if what we see by the eye doesn't please us, then we can close our eyes and see it from the heart (or rather the mind!) - because we can see beauty and love from the inside more than mere eyes can ever wonder. Disconnecting ourselves from our world will deprive us of that.

Living in isolation breaks down our interpersonal skills, we forget how to talk to people (British people don't seem to have conversations any more) - and we forget how to shield our selves from hostility. You're not protecting yourself by hiding away, in fact you're making yourself even more vulnerable. We need to develop a thick skin against certain circumstances, and we won't do that by pushing our heads into the sand.

Look at the issue of bullying - when I was a little kid, my father taught me that names don't hurt you. And girls are some of the best name-callers out there! But it's not what people say, it's how you deal with it that matters.

A word is as powerful as the meaning we attach to it. When we give it meaning, they are as powerful as an atomic bomb. But what if we thought, "These are only words, I won't give them the power to hurt me" - what would happen?

Love protects from isolation

When we talk about empowering ourselves, the strength we need is inside all of us. People can turn challenges into a turning point that leads them straight to success. A girl can defend herself against big business in court and win, a guy persecuted for his homosexuality can overcome obstacles and become an icon that helped save the free world.

And had Alan Turing, who was gay during a time homosexuality was illegal in England, decided to stay at home, the Allies might not have turned back the Nazi tide in the Second World War. And had Turing decided to cow to his critics and hide himself away from life, we'd be devoid of a legacy that gave us the phones in our hands and the computers on our laps - as well as the freedom we enjoy them with today.

You see, what we see is a matter of perspective. Many will not appreciate anyone else's position until they fully go through it. But we all have the power of empathy. Think for a moment: What would you do if you were Turing? Do you find dealing with your critics a challenge? Well, why not charm them, instead of trying to fight them? Let positive thought have hegemonic control of all facets of your life. See everything in a good light, and pretty soon you'll shine with the same source.

Sadly, Turing was tormented by his problems, and although there is a mystery surrounding his death at an early age, he is believed to have committed suicide. As his achievements in life can inspire, the end of his life can also serve as a lesson. Life is a constant struggle, and bringing love into our lives can help insulate us from negative energy.

Finding something to complain about is always easy. We seem to be in a culture where people are being let down all the time - and some say the financial crisis was a perfect example of this. Bank leaders have let down the many honest and hard working people in the financial sector.

And we are too quick to let each other down in our personal relationships, too. The news that Hollywood A-listers Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing, bringing an end to a five-year marriage, should come as no surprise really. The only jaw-dropper is that it lasted five years.

It's a cynical outlook - and it's not mine. Because if we ARE cynical about our world, that negativity will very soon - and all too easily - seep into our own lives, and make it an unhappy reality.

Let's look at the science: The brain makes sure that the outside physical world is a reflection of your internal world. In the same way, we should aim for our internal world to reflect our physical outer appearance - the "earth" of us that the rest of the world sees from outside.

First, we all know we shouldn't judge people by the way they look. You can't judge a book by it's cover, right? Well, the aim is to be able to do just that - because that's what the cover is there for, to tell you exactly what's in the book. This is not about making snap judgements or assumptions based on how people look, but about YOU - by going through life being as you are on the inside, on the outside, too. Be a book that can be judged by it's cover, because you are as you seem to be, and what you seem to be, you are.

Remember the saying, Home is where the heart is? Well, when you're at home in your body, and at peace with yourself, there is no need to put on a mask to face the world - the "all is well" face that masks your troubles inside.

Once people start using repression to deal with their problems (especially family problems), it becomes very unhealthy.

Make sure you smile from the inside out. Because the glitter you sprinkle inside will shine on you on the outside, and people around you will notice and say, "Wow, have you changed your hair/got botox/found a new love? You look F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C!"

Naturally, sometimes when we won't get on with family members - we think they're supposed to give us warmth and unending love, we want to be proud of our family, but things don't always work out that way - and so we get bitter. You can choose your friends, you can't choose your family, as the well-worn saying goes, and if you don't like your family, then you feel you just have to suck it up, because of the blood ties that bind. But forcing relationships and repressing emotions are hotbeds of activity for negative feelings.

Or let's look at it from another point of view - are we too quick to reject others because they don't meet our expectations? Your family is your gene pool and/or you environment programme after all, and any discovery about who we are will eventually lead us to want to rediscover our roots. Hacking away at them won't help us. Neither will keeping ourselves open to their negativity. The answer is to shield yourself with a strong mindset, and to learn to accept everyone as they are. We are all in this together.

We need to understand that diversity is an integral part of life; for instance the more the virtual world online is becoming a closer part of our lives, the more diverse it's becoming as it moves towards its third and fourth genesis. And whether you believe in it or not, we've even tried to emulate serendipity online, to see if happy coincidences can coincide online (or at least create a guise of chance meetings to let destiny do its work).

Only sitting at home in isolation won't bring you success, there will come a time when you need to motivate yourself to walk out of your front door and greet the world head on. And you'll discover that when you communicate with yourself and others with love, the reality that will meet you on the other side of that door will be something beautiful.

Now go out and live!