Five Ways to Get Closer-2

Tantric sex is an ancient practice that emerged as a rebellion against organised religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment. Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of its time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.

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It has been going for over 6,000 years, and the word "tantra" means "the weaving and expansion of energy". In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of sexual attraction into a harmonious whole. Tantric experts believe that if you extend the time and effort you put into sex, you will reach a higher and more intense form of ecstasy, but it's main objective is about making the act of sex more spiritual.

To do this you need to first remember that it is your intention that makes your sex spiritual, not the position or activity you are engaged in. In this way, sex becomes not only an act of the body, but an act of the mind - a spiritual act that embodies the experience of subtle energies within one's sensual embodiment, and the accessing of these energies both to enhance pleasure and to challenge our egotism into its dissolution.

Have you ever experienced a moment of sexual ecstasy? How did it make you feel? Exhilarated? Luminous? Deeply connected? Intense sexual experiences are one of our greatest sources of pleasure. Tantric sexuality often cultivates ecstatic consciousness as well as increased spiritual awareness of the erotic consciousness that pervades one's human embodiment as well as everything that contextualises this embodiment.

And it obviously works, because celebs such as Tom Hanks and Sting have said how great it is. In fact, Sting's wife Trudie Styler once famously boasted that her husband could make love for more than 5 hours at a time!

Our fascination with sex

Sex is often regarded with an equal measure of fear and fascination. We may crave sexual intimacy to the core of our being, yet also take great pains to avoid it. We may wish to be touched with all of our heart, yet fear our own vulnerability. We may long to rekindle lost passion, but have forgotten how to light the fire.

The practice of tantra shows us how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our birthright. And through this most ancient of arts, we may discover new joys of the erotic and expand mere moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of sexual bliss. At a time when the stresses, fears and distractions of daily life threaten so many relationships, the age-old practice of tantra shows us how to open our hearts, our emotions and our sexuality.

Couples can benefit from the sexual wisdom of this ancient art even if they're in the ultimate relationship. Tantric sexual practices teach us to prolong the act of making love and to utilise potent orgasmic energies more effectively, thereby boosting the psychic link between couples that can emerge during the act of lovemaking.

Tantra practitioners believe that human bodies contain energy systems consisting of nerves, heart and spiritual elements that are linked to cosmic and nature-based energies. Males and females have differing degrees and types of energy; and yogic sexual practices unite these energies, creating "circuits" which allow participants to find new heights of intimacy and to transcend egocentric consciousness, helping them realize their timeless place in the universe. Tantric union of male and female energies is thought to facilitate universal balance and to atone for human sins against nature and the cosmos.

So, our fascination with sex is not only natural, but it is a way to restore and bring balance to ourselves and our universe.

How is tantric sex unique?

In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully. In tantric sex orgasm is not the goal, indeed the belief is that a man should orgasm only after the woman has, so that he can replenish his energy from her juices. It is based on the ancient belief of yin and yang.

It was during the Chou Dynasty of China (770 BC - 222 BC) that the yin-yang theory began to take shape. According to this belief, men and women were split up into the yin and the yang which was basically the life force of a person. Women were said to possess a limitless supply of yin while men were said to have a dangerously low supply of yang essence.

It was strictly believed, then, that men should never use up their yang without first getting plenty of yin. Translated into normal English this would mean that men were expected to orgasm only after their partner had orgasmed multiple times to which would increase the level of yin which the men could then use to increase their yang. If this was not followed, it was believed that the man's life force would be drained from him until he eventually died from sex.

In modern day beliefs, science tells us that tantra is indeed health enhancing. Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom says:

Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health. By using sexual energy consciously...we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality.

So, utilising the methods in tantric sex are not only beneficial to bring us closer together from a physical to a spiritual level with our loved one, it also has health benefits for the recipients.

Unfortunately there are people expounding tantric techniques that they have acquired from the East where they have only been given parts of the overall teachings. The secrecy which surrounds spiritual and tantric techniques throughout the world has made it hard for people around the world to gain the full knowledge. This has led some people teaching what little they know, but in this respect, a little knowledge can be very dangerous. In fact, there are some writers on tantric sex that have tried to divorce it from its multidimensional basis to try and fit it in with their current belief system. They have missed the point.

Most authors talk about stopping ejaculation, extending orgasm and lovemaking in general and give you various sex positions to use but fail to explain the required practices to succeed fully. Tantric sex was not a highly guarded secret for thousands of years just because it could give you a better orgasm. The truth is far more exciting.

I elaborate further on the truth behind tantric sex, and provide five sex secrets for twin flames to practice with their loved one in the privacy of their shared space in part 3. But don't worry if you haven't found your twin flame, yet. These tips will help all partners boost their own and their current partner's sexual energy.

Read part 1 | End of part 2 | Read part 3

Yours in (sexy) love,