Love is in the Detail

Those interested in reading about love, may have read how love is in the detail, in the little things that seem insignificant, but shout out loud about the state of your life. It's those small things that spell out the existence of love in your life.

In relationships, this love is in the details when you do things for the one you love. The loving partner who eats the dinner made for him, even if it's terrible; the mental note made of a loved one's favourite thing, to buy as a gift even when money is tight.

But sometimes, we get so lost because of the absence of love in the details of our life we can lose our perspective of the bigger picture - that love is out there, and we are the catalyst for change to find the love that's right for us.

Give your life care and attention

It will seem a little silly of me to note this, as you probably already know it - but if you want to change something, you have to put your care and attention into it. It does seem like a no-brainer, right? For example, yoga teaches us that if you want to improve your breathing you pay attention to it.

Similarly, if you want to improve your yoga positions (of whatever teaching), you pay more attention to your movements and alignments to fix something wrong, so that you can get more range out of your session.

Depending on the yoga you do, some believe it can even help calm you. A light, gentle yoga style called "lynegar," which moves at a very slow pace and focuses on alignment in the poses, regulated breathing, and relaxation is believed to help heart patients that suffer with arterial fibrillation (AF), a common heart condition that causes the heart's upper chambers to quiver chaotically instead of contracting normally in a calm, controlled, and steady beat.

But does simply putting your care and attention into something - to focus on the details - work to bring about an improvement? The simple answer is - Yes. And it reaches far beyond yoga. It's amazing how you can create tremendous change by actually directing your attention to specific areas in your life, and giving yourself an intention and a focus. Employ this attitude in all aspects of your life and watch the changes happen.

If you have anxiety issues, directing your attention and focusing on your breath during an attack can help to lessen your panic in the heat of the moment. It's a useful emergency procedure to know, and very easy to apply.

When any of us suffer a sudden shock:

1. Start by taking short, shallow breaths. (Contrary to popular opinion, don't take deep breaths during an episode of anxiety, you're not aiming for deep meditation here, but to alleviate the symptoms quickly)
2. Continue to focus on your breathing.
3. Let yourself become aware about every detail of your breath.
4. Begin to slow your intakes down until you're breathing normally again.

Simply by focusing on the detail of breathing helps to regulate the oxygen in our bodies, which offsets the physical signs of anxiety, while also helping to take our mind off it and to relieve its psychological effects.

Some experts suggest to focus on the exhale, especially when we do deep breathing for stress, as opposed to a "on the spot" treatment for anxiety. Experts believe deep breathing is crucial to feeling tranquil, but the most important part of it is breathing out. When you elongate your exhalations, you spark your parasympathetic nervous system, which slows down your heart rate. Take three long exhalations, making them twice as long as your inhalation to alleviate stress in a few minutes.

How you deal with anxiety in your life will also depend on you; it will be necessary to tailor these well-known techniques to work best for you. One reader who emailed me to discuss how she deals with anxiety in her life, shared her own methods to help alleviate her attacks.

It was Saturday morning, the girls were asleep and I was relaxed and working on the computer. I felt a slight tingle in my arm - heard the thought in my head that said something like "that's new hope everything is OK" and within 45 seconds my heart was racing and I had a stream of almost uncontrollable thoughts that were working to convince me I was having a stroke. A sense of dizziness and panic set in, but I also noticed a steady stream of quieter thoughts reminding me that I now have the tools and resources to handle anything – including panic. Still feeling the almost uncontrollable panic I got up and began to take action:

1. I began a shallow breathing technique, and ran cold water over my wrists and my feet. During high anxiety/panic blood begins to flow from your head and "non essential organs" and moves to the extremities so that you can run or fight depending upon the emergency. Though I was in no immediate danger my body was acting as though I was – and this simple step can sometimes be all it takes to reverse the process and bring you back to centre. For me – this time – it helped – but did not stop the process.
2. I laid down and practised slow, steady breathing. During high anxiety/panic one should typically begin a quick, shallow breath, but I usually follow this by slowing down my breath to allow enough oxygen to get back into my system. Consciously slowing down your breathing allows you to oxygenate – which often brings one back to centre.

   Though I practice deep slow breaths daily – this time it was not enough. I needed to move. The crazy "I am dying" thoughts continued and somehow I was afraid that if I laid down too long I wouldn't get up again.

3. I went outside – barefoot – and leaned against a big beautiful tree. Connection to the Earth allows the excess energy in your system to ground. It is helpful to imagine an opening in the bottom of one's feet and to consciously watch (or visualise or picture) the energy leaving and moving into Mother Earth. It is also helpful to open and imagine being supported by the trees, the grass, the dirt (or sand, or ocean or stream).

   This simply step brought about a shift very quickly – and a sense of peace and connection started to filter into my space.

4. I called my friends for support and connection. I reached out to two very positive energetically connected friends who I knew would be able to help me regain my centre quickly. Both took the time to be with me. Both remained very calm and positive. And both – in their own way – further supported my ability to open and connect and completely regain my centre.
5. I took the time to reflect – and rest. Yes – I am very busy – and could have easily argued for going right back to work. However I have learned long ago that I come first – always – and that the body does whatever it needs to do to let us know when we are in any way out of balance. And when we don't listen to our bodies – it finds ways to talk louder – and then louder still – until eventually it brings out the heavy sticks to bash us with.

   So I grabbed a comfortable chair and placed it in the shade of that beautiful tree that helped me ground and I closed my eyes and I let go. And then after about 30 minutes I got up and was able to continue my day – somehow feeling even more peaceful – and alive – then I had before the incident began less then an hour earlier (give or take).

And when it comes to stress, experts say we should move it - just a little - with 2 minutes of exercise enough to change your mood, as long as you raise your heart rate. Anything from squats to jumping jacks supplies a surge of neurotransmitters, such as norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin - the same targets as antidepressants. If you're having a hard time jump starting a workout program, go for a walk, dance, jump rope, do ten glorious sun salutes. Alternatively pick your favourite yoga poses and do 10-minute slow and focused burst of yoga. It will energise your body and stimulate creativity, and is a gentle way to cleanse your spirit of stress and find tranquillity.

Achieving a state of bliss to find love

The way modern living has evolved means that our lives are partnered to stress. Our time seems limited, shared out to the max, and we may feel there is no moment of peace. It is when we run on this speed, that the details of life pass us by, until we find ourselves running on empty. Is it so surprising, then, that anxiety sufferers are on the rise?

Read about natural stress-busters.

When this is the case, many of us turn to yoga not just to keep fit and flexible, but to try and attain a feeling of serenity. It's what some yogi instructors call tapping into your very own slice of "Samadhi". This is the eighth and final limb in what's known as the Eight Limbs Of Yoga, and is what all yogis are supposed to be aiming for, but it's pretty hard to define.

Think of it as attaining a state of nirvana or heaven within you, where your mind, body and soul all become attentive and focused on the same thing together - and if you're meditating that's supposed to be nothing :)

I don't want to go outside the remit of this post, and bog you down with religious philosophy, but there is a practical application to achieving Samadhi, inner bliss, peace, or whatever you want to call it. It's more fun when you attach your own words or ideas on this anyway, so go ahead, and use whatever works for you.

Because being in a state of bliss with yourself will mean that everyone you love will benefit from it, too - and you'll be aware of the importance of the small details in a relationship. Taking time out to give yourself and your loved the necessary care and attention (even if only to enjoy a cup of tea together) will re-energise you and create a buffer zone against you and the mad rush of modern living.

It will also power up your internal magnet to attract your twin flame, if you haven't found him or her yet. It's about opening up your mind-set to love, so that it can come and find you.

This doesn't mean you have to do yoga to find love. For those of us who don't practise yoga, it means focusing on the details of our life we're not happy with in a positive way, and having the intention to change them for the better - which means you'll be much more likely to experience that Samadhi-like state of bliss as things begin to go your way.

Keep in mind that finding inner peace doesn't require hours and hours of daily practice. All it takes is a little willingness and common sense. A simple exercise like focusing on your exhalation in breathing won't take up much of your precious time, for example, but it will help centre you and create a field of peace that will be a blessing to everyone around you.

It's about treating life as a precious gift to be savoured, not a series of chores to complete as you rush about stressed out. Remember, your to-do list will live on long after you're gone. What matters is you, right now. Learn simple, effective ways to beat stress and to centre yourself and bring mind, body, and spirit together so that life becomes a joy and a pleasure, and your best self can shine, and so attract the love you truly deserve.

And you don't have to be a yoga expert to want that.

Yours in love,