Love Shines Brightest

I was busy baking all day last Friday, using a special cupcake recipe of mine that has become my twin flame's favourite, which came in handy for a spur of the moment midnight picnic on the roof of our house.

I had a Mad Hatter theme from the Alice in Wonderland book decorating the icing on top of my cupcakes, to remind us that sometimes it's beneficial to do pull a crazy stunt; get a moment of madness in and shake up your life. The wish seemed to invite the real thing, and for us, that was an impromptu rooftop midnight picnic this weekend.

My twin flame is a keen skywatcher, and I knew he'd be staying up late to watch an event scientists have nicknamed the "supermoon". The term "supermoon" is not an astronomical one, but one that originated in modern astrology to label the coincidence of a full moon or a new moon with its closest orbit to the Earth, resulting in its apparent larger size.

The technical names used to to the distance from the Earth to the moon is apogee and perigee. Apogee is the farthest point from the Earth. Perigee is the closest point and it's in this stage that the moon appears larger. Looking at the moon in the sky without anything to compare it to, you wouldn't notice any size difference. But the difference in size can in fact be quite significant. The apogee and perigee of the moon have an effect on the tides here on Earth.

When the moon is at apogee, the furthest distance from the Earth, it has less gravitational pull which, along with other factors that influence the tides, can contribute to lower tides. When the moon is at perigee, closer to the Earth, there is much more gravitational pull which contributes to the opposite effect: higher tides or greater variation in the high and low tide. This "influential" supermoon, or perigee full moon phenomenon, was gracing the skies to appear in its biggest and brightest form this year.

Read more about the supermoon.

The Moon is always beautiful and a full moon is always dramatic, and with a meteor shower from Halley's Comet forecast to peak as well adding to the sky show, I thought, what better backdrop than this to keep my twin flame company?

So, we fed each other cupcakes as we prayed for clear skies, huddled up in the ruffled blanket of night to watch the fireworks of the cosmos under a large Milk Moon. (The first full moon in May is also called a Flower or Hare Moon.)

It was a reminder, if any is needed, that we make up the moments of our lives; and when relationships go wrong it can sometimes be because we no longer put any effort into making moments special with that special someone.

It's not about finding the time. You don't "find time" for the important things in life, you MAKE time out of the opportunities that arise - or you make those opportunities! If there is something you want to do, something you want to accomplish, start making time in your life for it right now.

Similar to the maxim you need to learn to spend less than you make, unless you learn to give more than you take in a relationship, you will never have peace of mind.

Rather than spending all your time trying to figure out how to get his or her attention, spend your time inventing ways to blow their minds. It's a no brainer that the quality, depth and duration of your relationships will take off when you do this. The sky is the limit.

And (depending on whether or not you like surprises) incorporating moments of madness can add rocket fuel to the excitement of being together. As the saying goes, a change is as good as a holiday, and the reason for this is our great ability to absorb the good and bad into a new equilibrium over time. It's what some experts call the habituation situation - which means we can get used to anything. What elevates us in the beginning becomes baseline over time.

Having a rooftop picnic every weekend might take the excitement out of it, or it could turn into a routine pick-me-up that you look forward to every week if you add an element of surprise. The trick will depend on you and your partner. For some, building up to an event always works, for others having a spur of the moment, unplanned adventure is key.

Now I'm not saying we should solely be striving to delight the other person all the time, but a relationship shouldn't be like a business deal. Once "the deal is done" and you're a couple, the interest shouldn't end there!

When we look at the key relationships in our lives, if we treat it as a business deal, which we need to close by persuading the client to buy what we want to sell, then all we're doing is spending our time, energy and money on "acquisition". Once we've converted someone we shift into "minimum maintenance mode" - and wonder why everything falls apart.

I know you don't like the sound of that, but think about it. When you're single, you really take care of yourself, you go to the gym, exercise, eat better, dress better, engage in activities that make you come alive. You leave little notes, text sweet messages, create surprise meet-ups, try things you'd never try in the name of finding new ways to connect, make time for dates, walks, hand holding and more.

You are in full metal relationship acquisition mode and you do everything you can to create the best marketing impression possible.

You start to attract interesting "prospects" and eventually "convert" one to boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, spouse or partner. You keep the same high level of engagement up for a bit, but then what starts to happen? You start to feel a little too secure. You take the relationship for granted. You stop thinking about how to attract and delight that person any more and just work on the assumption that everything is pretty much locked and loaded.

Except, it isn't. Nobody likes being treated like a foregone conclusion.

We thrive on knowing that the person with whom we've chosen to dance WANTS us in their lives, thinks about us all the time, loves to be with us, cares about us and loves seeing us delighted. And not because we demand it, but because they light inside at the thought of making us light up inside.

So, what might happen if you repositioned "relationship acquisition" not as an end, but an invitation? An opportunity to consistently surprise and delight the person with whom you've connected? In ways they'd never see coming? Even the smallest ones, just enough to let them know "I'm thinking of you, you matter to me, I appreciate you!"

That might be something as small as baking some Mad Hatter tea party cupcakes for a starry night picnic. But the size of the event really doesn't matter because what's important is how it impacts your life. For me, my mad midnight mini feast became a great bonding moment; an affirmation that you have to go with your heart and believe that it's always worth glancing up at the night skies.

Because it's in the dark that sometimes we'll see things shine the brightest.

Yours in love,