Make Your Way with Love

“So come pull the sheet over my eyes/So I can sleep tonight/Despite what I’ve seen today/I find you guilty of a crime/Of sleeping at a time/When you should have been wide awake.”
— Audioslave

If life is the same-o same-o routine playing out a bit like that Bill Murray movie, Groundhog Day, it can feel like your sleeping while wide awake. But don't let that keep you from actually living the life you dream of everyday. There is always a way to make life like a box of love heart sweets - with a different positive message to get you on track for each day.

But, you have to believe that there is a way and you have to power to take action. Otherwise, you'll blink and one day will turn into 30 years and the next thing you know, you'll be retiring not just from your job - but from your life. And I'm not talking about taking action for one day, I'm talking about taking action everyday, over and over again, consistently for a long period of time. Because that is the only way you will make progress.

For every obstacle, there is a solution. For every challenge, there is a reward. But we must open our eyes and truly be wide awake.

Remember the theme song to Cheers? "Making your way in the world today, takes everything you've got." Well if that was the case in the 1980s, imagine what it takes to make your way in the world today. You need to be indispensable.

Confidence sells - people believe in those who believe in themselves. No one wants to be stuck in a room with other people who feel like they don't deserve to be there. Stop wondering if you're good enough. Know you are, and start acting like it.

How to be indispensable

There is a single quality that is so rare, that if you're an employer, when you find someone who has it, you'll do pretty much anything to bring that person on board and keep them happy.

And, the thing is, some people cultivate it naturally. But, others, once they realise its power, may be able to build it into who they are and how they operate. So, what do employers (and even lovers) look for? What makes a person attractive enough to be indispensable?

What is that single quality that makes someone precious and indispensable?

Beyond intelligence, loyalty, kindness, respect, discipline, pride, passion and compassion, it's the ability to create.

Sounds so simple. But truth is, the vast majority of people spend their lives learning how to follow then execute other peoples' game plans (even in relationships). Fitting their skills, abilities and mindsets into the predefined responsibilities and tasks required by a predefined job. And, that's fine. We need people like that in the world. If that's you and you work with pride and add value and that makes you happy, rock on.

But, know too that you regardless of how hard you work, you will very likely never be at the top of the indispensable list. Not because you're bad at what you do, not because you don't add value. Not because those around you don't like or even love you. But because there will always be a sea of people lined up to take your job who can do what you do in a similar enough way to make your boss, partner, colleague or collaborator happy.

For every creator, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of operators. You are expendable - and might even be viewed as collateral. Which is wrong - because no human being is collateral.

In my "Stop Doing and Start Being" post I had written that we as people are more than just what we do - and in this context we are more than just a job position.

In ancient times if you had asked an Egyptian or a Greek who they were, they would have given their father's name or their town of birth, but if you had asked the average Roman, he or she would have told you what they did for a living. It's what they wrote, along with their life stories, on their tombstones that are still visible in Rome today, even after two thousand years.

You have to relate that to the sheer size and anonymity of a great metropolis. In a world without ID cards, without passports, without birth certificates, how do you know what you are? Who you are? In ancient Rome, you knew that because of your job. How did they make their identity clear? On their tombstones they would write their occupation - i.e., "this is what I do".

Ancient Romans were small cogs in the big machine of imperial Rome (which at its zenith had a city population of over a million), they possibly didn't know their neighbours, everyone was looking for new ways to make their mark and stand out - and if they moved up in the world, to show that they had made it. It created new opportunities of conspicuous consumption.

This was centuries ago, but does it sound familiar?

Which is why, when you're a creator, everything changes. Rather than being the one people ask to carry out a plan, people look to you to create a plan. To solve a problem, to innovate a new idea, product, service or campaign, to see opportunities where everyone else sees barriers, to blaze a new trail rather than follow a well grooved one.

And, the thing is, most often it's not about radical departures from the norm or Earth-shattering breakthroughs.

What I'm talking about is the ability to create solutions on a daily basis. To understand we're at point A and we need to get to point B, then tap your creative/problem-solving juices to conjure the best possible way to get there.

An employer steering his or her commercial ship will find that ability immensely more valuable than someone who needs to be told every step from A to B by operators in the pipeline. Because it frees up the top echelon's creative juices to focus on other projects, while trusting in another's ability to figure out how to get done what needs to get done.

And if you're an individual who can not only create anew, solve problems and map out innovative pathways, but also possesses the ability to execute, to bring those plans to life then your even more valuable in the workplace.

People who can do both are extraordinarily rare finds, because creation and implementation are very different processes and almost always inhabit different brains and bodies, too. Most peoples' minds just don't function well on both levels. Which is why those folks tend to rise quickly up the ranks and often become entrepreneurs.

However, if you heal your mind with my 90 day programme, you'll find yourself becoming more creative, and retuning your brain to a more successful mindset. Not only will you become a rare find for your employer, but you'll be indispensable in your love relationships, too.

Yours in love,